Halflings (Warhammer)

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Remember back when Warhammer Fantasy was about combining history with criticism of the modern world and comedy while adding stuff "inspired" by the young and evolving modern fantasy genre alongside Tolkien, the works of Michael Moorcock, Glorantha, and Dungeons & Dragons all for the purpose of selling models of the aforementioned IPs?

Don't worry, Games Workshop doesn't either.

Halflings are a remnant of the older Warhammer, mostly forgotten aside from those moments that modern writers want a touch of levity. They've appeared off and on throughout the years, but never once in the starring role of anything. They were more or less removed from the game September 9th 2006 with the release of 7th edition by virtue of not having rules, officially removed in 8e by virtue of not existing in any rulebook and the Dogs of War army no longer being supported by omission in the core rule army list. The last of them perished in End Times, and as one would predict they were not brought back for Age Of Sigmar nor in any sort of demand by the fans of that game.

For their Warhammer 40000 equivalent, see Ratling.

Origins & History

For a summary, "Tolkien Hobbits but black comedy in the Warhammer universe, with surprisingly few changes other than making some gentle fun of Hobbits".

In the prehistory of the world the Old Ones were trying to create a race that they could use as their army of slaves against Chaos because it would eventually invade, not realizing that siphoning off magic from Chaos was making it a self-fulfilling prophesy. First they created the Elves in a special magical continent called Ulthuan, who were effective Chaos fighters but lacked the reproductive ability to keep a long war going and where easy for Chaos to manipulate. The Dwarfs were created in the mountains of the Old World as everything good about the Elves but instead of channeling the power of Chaos into magic and sending it right back at them, the Dwarfs were resistant to magic and even nullified it. But the Dwarfs were also slow to reproduce, and although designed to be so stubborn they were hard to manipulate they became too uncompromising to react to the changing tactics of Chaos. Humans were next, which were created in Nehekhara and given they were worse than Elves and Dwarfs in every single way other than reproducing quickly it can be assumed they were just a text batch.

Halflings were the next creation, set just northwest of the Dwarfs in the Old World in a highly fertile and perfect land full of valleys and rivers which would be called the Mootland. This is only really meta-knowledge however. While the Slann of the Lizardmen may know the true origins of the Halflings given they likely were participants in their creation, nothing regarding the Halflings has been mentioned in any of their plans. Dwarfs don't really know where they came from, only recording that humans and Halflings have been together as long as they've been paying attention to races other than Elves and that it took some time for them to realize they weren't just human children. Elves seem to have no real interactions with Halflings. Humans believe they're a failed creation of one of their gods, either as an experiment in Chaos-fighting by Verena or as a joke by Ranald. After their creation the Old Ones were apparently pleased, given they immediately set about creating Ogres, which are pretty much just giant Halflings; however they were too late, the Warp Gates exploded and Chaos invaded the world before they were finished. As a result the Ogres were physically finished, but their environment couldn't support them unlike the Moot could the Halflings, and their culture was entirely unfinished which resulted in a race of brutes with very little value for intelligence.

Elves have the most complete record of the world, and between their creation and the invasion of Chaos was a golden age that no records survive from. Since all the (intended, natural) races of the world were finished (barring Ogres which simply exist) by the invasion it can be determined that approximately 5500 years passed before the recorded history of the Halflings began. The Empire AKA Warhammer Germans had existed for about 1000 years, having absorbed the territory of the Halflings at some point, when Emperor Ludwig II Hohenbach AKA "Ludwig The Fat" granted them autonomy from the rest of the Empire. Previously the Moot had been split between the provinces of Averland and Stirland as their primary source of food farmable land, but the combination of insults from the daughters of the Counts of those provinces and an especially delicious meal served by a Halfling chef had won the favor of the Emperor. Along with having a vote in the election of new Emperors they became important to all provinces in the Empire for the massive supplies of food which are sent out, supporting the rest of the nation. The Moot has no true Elector Count due to not having a Runesword, and instead the Elder Of The Moot is their supreme leader so much as they have one. The Elder vote is known for being obtained primarily through personal bribery of food and drink as well as promised protection for the Moot, and in the events of civil wars and election crises the Moot is generally left untouched. The Elder is the keeper of the Haffenlyver, a record of the geneology of the Halflings which was first recorded upon the independence of the Moot.

Aside from that, Halfling history is simple. They grow food and send it to the Empire, they play host to traveling Dwarfs, sometimes they are invaded by greenskins or the undead although Chaos invasions are generally unknown.

In the End Times the forces of the Moot were kept at home to defend, with only the Fighting Cocks (see below) leaving to defend their human allies albeit mostly by fighting on their way home to the Moot. They battled Skaven the entire way before finally disappearing in Averheim at some point between the siege of the city by Skaven and Tzeentchian forces and its destruction by Archaos The Fuckwad. Whether this was a cheeky reference to Bilbo's lack of participation and invisibility during the events of the final battle of Tolkien's The Hobbit or just the writers forgetting they existed is open to interpretation, but the former is probably pretty unlikely (but let's pretend it was anyway, since it makes it a bit less painful). The Halflings themselves were destroyed by an infinite horde of pure darkness that came when the Warp consumed the world, fleeing to Sylvania and finding protectoin alongside the last of the civilians of mankind among the undead forces lead by Queen Neferata and High Queen Khalida.

Halflings weren't involved in Storm Of Chaos aside from their participation in Empire armies.

In an alternate universe of Total War: WARHAMMER the Halflings don't participate in any way beyond some scripted events but multiple factions can find them as chef companions. The fate of the Moot is dependent on what faction you play as, but generally speaking they'll probably be taken over by Vampires at some point before being destroyed by greenskins or liberated by the Empire or Dwarfs.

On Halflings

Halflings are short, stoutly built humanoids, naturally tending towards the portly given their propensity for eating and drinking in ridiculously large quantities. Being a rural folk, even in their towns, the Halflings are earthy types who enjoy good food, strong drink, a good smoke, and conversation that would turn a Marienburg marine’s ears blue. Expressive to a fault, Halflings think nothing of discussing their aunt’s nightly business with perfect strangers in complete detail. “Just to pass the time, y’know.” They love a good chat and strangers are welcomed by farmers along the roads as long as they bring gossip, coin, or lunch. Or preferably all three.

In essence, they're a send-up of the original Hobbits, just hornier. No, we're not kidding. There's a story in White Dwarf involving a dwarf army needing to defend the Moot against an orcish invasion; one dwarf general is scandalized by a halfling barmaid who keeps bluntly flirting with him, complete with pinching his arse, and mention is made of a pair of halfling youths deciding that underneath a dwarven battle wagon was a great place for a shag - and not stopping when the wagon rolled off of them despite being surrounded by mortified and pissed-off dwarves.

The Moot

The Halfling homeland. Was once the best bit of farming country in all of Stirland, until Ludwig the Fat gave it to the halflings as a reward for the delights his halfling chef showered on him. The Stirlanders are still pissed about that. It's beautiful farming country, but there's not much more to it than that.

Notable Characters

Unfortunately, the Halflings don't have many characters other than Lumpin.

• Hisme Strakherz

The current Elder. Although he only supported Karl Franz due to extensive bribery in the form of beer and oatcakes he also secured a lucrative trade deal, and has been more active in sending Halfling forces to defend the Empire than previous Elders.

Lumpin Croop

The only notable named halfling character in all of Warhammer canon. Bastard son of an itinerant carrot salesman and a blacksmith's daughter, Lumpin grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, his father dead before his birth (possibly at his grandfather's hands), his mother a drunkard and his grandparents hating him. The ginger-haired little nuisance ultimately ran away from home to become a pickpocket, con-artist and poacher. This ultimately got him into trouble when, one evening, he was ambushed at a halfling tavern - The Old Pig & Bucket in Beggar's End - by a band of vengeful gamekeepers, ready to give him a sound beating.

Staring down so many angry halflings, with no way of escape, Lumpin did the only thing he could do: he started spouting bullshit. He span his audience a yarn of of excitement, treasure and vast banquets waiting to be had in the lands over the mountains, of how they could have adventure, gold and glory by becoming mercenaries. And they bought it hook, line and sinker! Next thing Lumpin knew, his former angry mob was now a loyal band of glory-seeking mercenaries, and he found himself reluctantly leading them from the Moot to the wider world. He keeps trying to give them the slip and escape, but they're better trackers than he is, so he always gets caught. He also has a tendency to end up in the most amazingly fortunate turns of events, usually winning glory despite his attempts to keep away from the fighting.

Amazingly, his followers adore him, and believe him to be a brilliant, adventurous thrill-seeker, whom they'd follow into the Chaos Wastes if he asked. In this, he can be seen as a sort of prototype for Ciaphas Cain... complete with a certain level of ambiguous heroism, as his fluff usually states that Lumpin is starting to become loyal to his men.

The Fighting Cocks

The former gameskeepers turned mercenaries who follow Lumpin Croop. Despite his endless attempts to escape them or keep them out of danger's way, they keep tracking him down and getting themselves into danger. And they absolutely love their new lifestyle; they wouldn't give it up for the world. They have endless faith in Lumpin for putting them on this path, and constantly rationalize his cowardly behavior as just brilliant tactical insight. And, in fairness, his "training exercise" (the Fighting Cocks tracking him down when he tries to run away) have made them some of the best damn scouts in the Empire.

Their battlecry is "Hurray! Hurray! The Moot! The Moot!". This was born out of an early battlecry when Lumpin tried to flee the field, shouting "Run Away! Run Away! To the Moot! To the Moot!", but the chaos of the battlefield garbled the message and they instead made a heroic charge that brought the Empire victory.

The Fighting Cocks are a halfling Dogs of War unit that have appeared in most editions of Warhammer Fantasy.

The Halfling Hot Pot

The other halfling Dogs of War unit, the Halfling Hot Pot is a pissed off team of halfling chefs using a giant slingshot to propel kettles of boiling hot soup at the enemy.

Army List

The first ever halfling army list appeared in issue #36 of Citadel Journal, which also contained rules for a halfling warband in Mordheim. It consisted of the following units:

• Moot General (Mandatory Lord; can take the Ring of Concealment for 30 points to become immune to missile attacks and inflict a -2 penalty on enemy melee attack rolls, and must take Glammyding, a magic sword that grants +2 Strength and causes Fear in Orcs & Goblins - yeah, they're Bilbo ripoffs)
• Chuck Wagon (Battle Standard Bearer)
• Halfling Hero
• Halfling Master Chef
• Halfling Housewife Lady
• Halfling Thieves (0-3)
• 0-1 Sheep Dog (a familiar for a Halfling hero)
• Halfling Wizard
• 0-1 Great Eagle Riders
• 0-1 Swan Riders
• 0-1 Battle Ram Riders (Halfling heavy cavalry)
• War Sheep Riders
• Goat Riders
• 0-1 Pantry Guard (elite chefs who can be assigned to guard the Chuck Wagon)
• 0-3 Crazy Chefs (Night Goblin Fanatic knock-offs who can be part of the Pantry Guard)
• 0-1 Halfling Housewives (a squad of female halflings come to add their own vicious temperament to the fray; become Frenzied if other halflings die within 8")
• 0-1 Lords of the Harvest (elite halfling infantry being carried piggyback by lowly Gatherers)
• Poachers (halfling archers)
• Halfling Militia (basic troops)
• Treemen
• Halfling Hot Pots
• The Reaper & The Shearer (halfling "chariots" (repurposed farming machinery) which do 2d6 damage on a charge due to their abundance of spinning blades)
• Baby Dragon (can be taken as a character steed or a general monster)
• Pegasus (can be taken as a character steed or a general monster)
• Giant Eagle (can be taken as a character steed or a general monster)
• Giant Swan (can be taken as a character steed or a general monster)
• Poultry Swarm (angry chickens, ducks, geese, etc herded onto the field of battle)

After this brief appearance, halflings as a fighting force... technically never appeared again. The February 2006 issue of White Dwarf (#313 for UK, #314 elsewhere) contained a scenario called "The Revolting Moot", which references the ugly time when Marius Leitdorf, the Mad Elector Count of Averland, flew into a rage after a particularly greedy and stupid family of halfling ferry-runners - the Tomfiddle family - insisted on sabotaging his efforts to build a bridge over the River Stir that would be essential to allow armies to more readily move across. This rage was worsened because the halfling elders insisted that, by a strict legal definition of the terms, they were not able to call the Tomfiddles to task, simply because they didn't want to make trouble for their own. In his fury, he vowed to annihilate the entire halfling race, and nearly came close to doing it! The scenario involves Marius' forces being ambushed by the remaining forces of the Moot's militia army, aided by ogre mercenaries sent by the Tyrant called Blaut Feastmaster.

In this scenario, the "Halfling Army" is basically just a normal Ogre Kingdoms army, but using gnoblar fighter and trapper units to stand in for halfling militia squads. It can also include Lumpin Croop & His Fighting Cocks, Halfling Hot Pots (reskinned Scrap Throwers), and "Kathleen", the Half-Tank (also known as the Soup Tank); a broken-down Steam Tank clumsily salvaged and rebuilt by the halflings as a mobile soup kitchen, but still capable of fighting in an emergency.

The Comradeship

A send-up of the Fellowship from The Lord of the Rings, these guys were special characters in the halfling army that debuted in Citadel Journal #36. Consist of the mad mage Olorin the Grey Wizard, Aragand the Layabout, Giblet the Dwarf, and Legles the Elf.

External Links

• Warhammer Wiki article on Halflings: https://warhammerfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Halfling
• Warhammer Wiki article on Lumpin Croop & His Fighting Cocks: https://warhammerfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Lumpin_Croop%27s_Fighting_Cocks
• Online copy of Citadel Journal #36: https://img.fireden.net/tg/image/1535/88/1535889742650.pdf