Genghis motherfucking Khan: Difference between revisions
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[[Category: Chaos]][[Category: Warhammer 40,000]] | [[Category: Chaos]][[Category: Warhammer 40,000]] |
Revision as of 00:03, 19 October 2011
[1] Tada! The Wiki article!
Since Genghis Khan was a daemon prince anyhow it figures accuracy shouldn't be much of a problem here. They're already way off.
In short, He killed a ton of people (40 million to be exact, with bows, arrows, spears, really primitive rockets, blackpowder guns, and swords), made an empire (the biggest pre-spacefaring empire of all time, though it may be exceeded by the british depending on how far north you define its borders as stretching), and became the first daemon prince of Khorne to kill a ton more people. We know Ghengis motherfucking Khan as Doombreed.
He is the most badass Asian of all time, because he killed 40 million people in a time before automatic weapons and conquered like 16 million square miles of territory in an age before motor vehicles. (His children and generals all went on to slaughter even more people and conquer even more territory, they all also became Daemon Princes of Khorne, with Genghis' greatest General Subutai becoming Khorne's greatest strategist who helps Khorne out-think Tzeentch along with Genghis)
Not only does he help Khorne outthink Tzeentch, he helps him outsex Slaanesh. Because in life, he fucked so many bitches that today there are 7 million people directly descended from him... So he is the greatest warrior and womanizer of all time. He also out-plagues Nurgle because it was his mongols who ended up spreading the Black Death that gave Nurgle sentience. So in other words, he is so awesome that thanks to him, Khorne can beat the other three Chaos Gods at their own games. Alternative spellings of his name include Changheiz Khan, Tchingis Khan, etc. His real name was Temujin. It is said that an entire 2% of the World's population can trace their bloodlines to him (see two paragraphs above above). 2% of the world now worships Khorne, though with all honestly he was sort of Chaos Undivided; he was blood hungry for Khorne, a beast that would make Slaanesh proud, plagued Europe to the point where Nurgle came to be and was a complete bastard of Just As Planned tactics like the great schemer himself.
The idea of Ghenghis Khan and the Mongols as a Khornite is simple wank fantasy on the part of neckbeards. In truth, the Mongols were not all that hot in hand to hand combat, where as the average Khornite idiot would do whatever he could to get into the thick of it, the Mongols kept their distance and never let the enemy get into close quarters. When they could not maneuver (for example in the Jungles of Vietnam) away from combat they tended to loose. On the same note they had little concern for Religion and had no problems letting locals practice whatever the fuck they wanted so long as they kept quiet. Finally, those peoples that submitted to them they generally did not kill and let administrate themselves any way they wanted so long as they coughed up a respectable sum of tribute when asked.
Alternative spellings of his name include Changheiz Khan, Tchingis Khan, etc. His real name was Temujin.
It is said that an entire 2% of the World's population can trace their bloodlines to him (see two paragraphs above above). 2% of the world now worships Khorne, though with all honestly he was sort of Chaos Undivided; he was blood hungry for Khorne, a beast that would make Slaanesh proud, plagued Europe to the point where Nurgle came to be and was a complete bastard of Just As Planned tactics like the great schemer himself.
Preferred tactics
- Horse Archer Rush
- Arrow Spam
- More of both
- Having the epic smarts to extort tons of money from various Chinese city states so that he WOULDN'T kill, maim, burn 'em
- Not obliging idiots who wank to the purity of hand to hand combat, instead running around them.
- Throwing dead bodies using catapults
- Rape
- Pillage
- Burn
- Feigned retreat followed by luring anyone dumb enough to give chase into a predetermined kill zone. Cue arrows.