Eversor

WRYYYY

"Fear me, for I am your apocalypse"

– Eversor Temple Mondus Executus

Eversors (Latin: "destroyer". Truth in advertising, oh yeah) are one of the varieties of assassin utilised by the Officio Assassinorum in the Warhammer 40k universe. They are psychotic nutters implanted with extensive cybernetics and drugged up to the eyeballs then put to cold sleep, only warmed up and awake during missions, making them near-perfect killing machines. While the Eversor would theoretically be bad as an "assassin" since his nonexistent stealth skills would leave plenty of witnesses to his deeds; he makes up for this by just cutting out the middle man and murdering everyone, including the witnesses. After all, nobody can say the Imperium was ever there, if everyone who could speak about it has been murdered horribly.

On /tg/, Eversor assassins are known for their tendency to smash through walls and scream "WRYYYYY", shamelessly ripping off both the Kool-Aid man and Dio Brando, before slaughtering everything unfortunate enough to be in the room. Think "Chelios" from the Crank Films + Unlimited Adrenaline, this guy 360 noscopes everyone despite not having a Rifle and is pretty much batshit crazy with rage.

Oh, and the Assassinorum has one that they've been training and sending out since the Heresy, which they don't so much give a specific target but send into a region of space and let them kill until it eventually stops.

Overview

On the tabletop, Eversor assassins began life as near-invincible monstrosities; Melta Bombs made them the only assassin that could really threaten vehicles, while their combat drugs gave them the ability to do a triple-length charge or even not die until the end of the turn regardless of damage. The Neuro-Gauntlet's original incarnation halved the entire stat line of anything it wounded, including their remaining wounds, leading to combat best summarised as "oh hello Abaddon" *splat* "hello guardsman" *splat* "hello Grot."

These days, they are of debatable usefulness. With a lucky roll, they can cause incredible damage on a charge, but because of this the enemy tends to concentrate quite heavily on shooting the screaming junkies before they have a chance to kill everything. If you're in a large battle, consider using one as a distraction. If the enemy kills it before it can do its thing, they've not been shooting at your other units with several heavy-hitters; if it gets into combat, enjoy rolling the most dice for a single model you'll probably ever roll. Just remember to use it to justify its points cost - whatever it does, it's an expensive piece that probably won't see the end of the battle.

As a short summary of the Eversor, think of your neighborhood drug-addict and/or serial killer, give him a chainsaw, a storm-bolter, power fists, power armor then inject him full of morphine, meth, and whatever else you can find into him in quantities that could kill a horse, then mind-control him so he can do your bidding and tell him to kill anyone and everyone and everything he sees that isn't you. That's a good idea of what an Eversor is. Actually, on second thought, perhaps do the mind control first. Important safety tip. Or don't. Because grimdark.

Also, anytime and every time an Eversor shows up it means that shit will hit the fan, in fact it will hit the fan so hard that the fan flies off its socket and decapitates the Tau weeaboo communist that's waiting outside.

Last but not least, this insane cocktail of drugs masquerading as a living being is implanted with a specialized organ known as the Terminus gland. At the moment the body suffers terminal damage, the gland releases a new drug into the Eversor's body that renders the blood both acidic and combustible, meaning the Eversor explodes when you kill it. So even if you do gain the upper hand and kill it, an Eversor has the last laugh. A jittery, overly loud and creepy as fuck laugh.

Combined, this empirically makes the Eversor the most 40K thing in 40K, closely followed by the skull-faced patron saint of always being angry, Chaplain Lemartes. It is a superhuman zealot barely held together with drugs, fueled by rage, wearing a skull helmet, and it fucking explodes when you kill it. I FUCKING DARE YOU to think of something that better embodies all that is Warhammer 40,000. Although to think about it, Eversor is just a grimdark mindless machine. I would take Angron over Eversor anyday. Unlike Eversor, Angron is sentient in every waking moment of his life and has spent most of his living time hating anything and everything, including himself. Born to be a demi-god (and he knew it!), but was raised as a slave. Just as when he was capable of making things right, the "father" arrived and fucked things up irrevocably, destroy Angron's very reason to exist. Unable to die, and forced to work for the "father" that he wished to never have, Angron finds solace by pushing himself to be mad. Did I mention his head got forcibly jammed by a huge nail which effectively lobotomizes him? His demi-god power is the one that prolongs and empower his suffering. Curze comes close but since he's like 2 people, so his pain is at least unstable.

The Eversor's dynamic entry

Dynamic entry in action.

1. Scream: Oh yeah! While destroying point of entry.
2. Commence Pelvic thrust
3. Wryyyyyy...
4. Kill...KIIIIIILLLLL!!!!!!
5. ?????
6. Profit!

The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

Kýrie Eléison

Chapter One

Sick. The Officio Assassinorum drone always felt sick whenever he entered ‘the hive’. A long catwalk suspended in the middle of a cavernous hexagonal hall, the putrid green glow of endless status monitors and stasis tubes radiated an aura of death and decay. Not so unfitting for the legendary storage vaults of the Eversor Temple.

Despite his many trips to the hive, Nicolas Gilbo could never suppress the shiver in his spine that always snuck up on him when he least expected it. Shaking off his unease, he moved slowly to monitor station #4432 to finish the rites of rearming and release. He stared up into the face of death, suspended in a foetal position within its fluid tomb. The irony was not lost on him. A skeletal, barely human husk gazed vacantly back at him, its augmentics continually twitching despite being comatose. Out of curiosity, he flipped through this unit’s combat history. Unit service life three years. Number of sorties, two hundred and sixty. Estimated enemy casualties inflicted, eight thousand five hundred and twelve, half of those from a planetary governor’s dirigible brought down in the center of Falchion hive.

Biological age, twelve standard years.

But it was the list of wounds sustained in action that horrified him the most.

T3-T9 thoracic vertebrae shattered from an Ork Warboss, left arm amputated after close combat with World Eater Champion, fifty seven separate stubber and lasgun wounds. Three cardiac arrests and automated restarts, and it didn’t stop there. By the Emperor, what did it take to kill one of these things? With great trepidation, Gilbo keyed through the unit’s start up routine and assigned unit #4432 its next mission.

“What kind of dreams does a monster like you have?” Gilbo wondered.

On the Tabletop

The assassins have all got rapey statlines, and the Eversor is no different:

WS8 BS8 S4 T4 W3 I7 A4 Ld10

He gets the standard Infiltrate, Fearless, Move Through Cover, No Escape (-2 to enemy Look out, sir! attempts) and Lightning Reflexes (4++ and no penalty to I for charging through terrain) all other Assassins get. His standard wargear are a Power Sword (to be used along with his Executioner Pistol for that extra attack in CC) and Melta bombs in case he encounters MC or vehicles (against monstrous creatures he may get more mileage from using his other wargear but it is an amazing knockout punch against MC).

Now what sets him apart are his unique wargear.

First, he has Furious Charge so he's S5 (and AP3 with Power Sword) on the charge. He also has Feel No Pain, meaning he is less vulnerable to small arms fire next to some of the other assassins. Which makes sense given its horde-shredding duty.

His sentinel array grants him the fast shot special rule (he can fire his Executioner Pistol 4 times), and lets him overwatch at full BS (So he hits on 2s and if he rolls 1s, re-rolls and hits on 4+). Also, he can fire his Executioner Pistol's parts in any combo, but if your Eversor is getting assaulted, you've fucked up royally. Though don't forget it if it ever happens, taking out enough of a squad to cause a failed charge is often the difference between survival and death with lone operatives.

His Frenzon allows him to charge 3D6, and grants him 3 extra attacks on the charge. So, yes. A potential 18" charge range, and 8 S5 attacks on the charge.

Next is the Bio-meltdown. If he dies, all units in D6" take a S5 hit. So even if the enemy gangs up on him in CC, he still gets the last laugh.

Next is his actual Executioner Pistol. The first part is a classic Bolt Pistol while the other is the Needle Pistol which has Poison, but sadly no AP. So he can choose between shooting some average mooks or putting a high-toughness opponent in his place.

Finally, there's his Neuro Gauntlet. A weapon which is only S:User AP-, but is Fleshbane and Shred, just in case you happened to roll a 1. Used if you're up against a horde and want to go for quantity over quality of the Power Sword, or if the enemy has a 2+ or a good invulnerable save and you want to watch them try and tank saves.

Overall the Eversor is perhaps the most versatile of the four assassins. It can mow down hordes and MEQ's without too much trouble with FC and AP3 (though he can get AP3 the Gauntlet is perhaps the better option against low armour units as quantity will probably be better than quality against Armour 6+/5+). With its four shot pistol with a mixture of poison/bolt ammunition he has reasonable ranged capabilities. Can hurt vehicles and Monstrous creatures with Melta bombs and Fleshbane attacks. While also being capable of giving 2+ save and high invulnerable save opponents reasonable trouble (there is only so many saves you can make when you are throwing out 8 attacks that will almost always hit on 3's and with each hit having virtually guaranteed wounds), with this in mind the Eversor is for just plain killing but given how badly Assault has been nerfed over the past 2 Editions, placement during Infiltration is key, otherwise a 4++ and T4 isn't going to save you. He can go down to 1 turn of boltgun fire (average of 18 boltgun shots at BS4, or 36 lasgun shots at BS3 will down him), unless of course you manage to get lucky with his invul save and Feel No Pain and tank them all. So keep him out of line of sight, and make use of that triple charge range to get stuck in. Another potion is to outflank him as there will be no danger of him getting shot down due to charging as soon as he comes on, just watch out for reserve rolls and entering from a random board edge.

Now that any Armies of the Imperium are allies with each other, this guy in a Drop Pod is just... disgusting. The 7th Edition FAQ Draft put the kibosh on Battle Brothers starting the game in allied transports. Oh well, time for you to actually get creative with deployment and infiltration rather than abusing allies. THE FAQs from GW are all marked as drafts work in progress, so most TO's are not using them yet.

8th Edition

	Pts/PL	M	WS	BS	S	T	W	A	Ld	Sv
Eversor Assassin:	70/4	7"	2+	2+	4	4	6	6	9	6+/4++

Yeah baby, this guy's almost 50% cheaper than he used to be! Coming with the same Lightning Reflexes ability that gives him a 4++, the Eversor's still a versatile assassin who benefits from the new 8th Edition mechanics. For starters, he can charge the turn he reveals himself from concealment (basically infiltrate/outflank by a new name), and he charges 3D6 as well thanks to his Frenzon ability. Said ability also gives him 2 extra attacks when he charges in the proceeding fight phase. Finally, that one rule you know and love is back! When he is reduced to 0 wounds he undergoes a Bio-meltdown!, where you roll a D6 for each enemy unit within 1" of him when he goes down. On a 4+, they suffer D3 mortal wounds.

For starters he has Melta Bombs (a S8 AP-4 grenade which re-rolls all failed wound rolls when targeting VEHICLES), and a Power Sword (S:User AP-3). His Executioner Pistol is a 12" S4 AP-1 D D1 Pistol 4 that re-rolls all failed wound rolls against INFANTRY. Did I mention he re-rolls all failed hit rolls when he fires Overwatch? I mean that's interesting but if your Eversor's getting charged instead of charging you've royally fucked up. His Neuro Gauntlet is also amazing, being a S+1 AP-1 D D1 Melee weapon which straight up re-rolls all failed wounds.

As with all assassins, he got cheaper while basically staying the same as last edition.

Gallery

• 

  Someone has a case of the Mondays.

• 

  Eversor Assassins are also known for appearing doing peaceful things, because that's "funny".

• 

  This is a sketch, a more detailed picture would show the Eversor on top of a mound of corpses.

• 

  Nothing is sacred, especially when made fappable.

• 

  WRYYY!

• 

  Turn signals are for pussies.

• 

  The last thing you will ever see, heretic.

See Also

• Core of Brutality
• Praise the Emperor, in which we see into the mind of an Eversor assassin.
• Eversor Assassin in action
• Eversor`s day off
• This song sums pretty much everything seen and linked above
• One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask... This can be considered pretty much canon. Eversors are high on narcotics and are constantly bombarded by religious hymnals. Just imagine it has more skulls and gothic architecture.