Drowtales: Difference between revisions
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==Are They?== | ==Are They?== | ||
Boy oh boy. Grimderp up the wazoo, until the most jaded [[Neckbeard]] will throw the table and say "fuck it". | |||
The series start with a illustration of how their poor race suffered a catastrophe and how "their story came to be"...right before we see a Drow war party happily slaughtering a human town and enslaving the women and children as the protagonist cheerfully tells her history of "kicking human asses" that grow like mushrooms around their cities. If you aren't getting a taste of edginess masquerading the massive Mary Sue complex, read on. | |||
The drow are OP compared to every other race and amorally waste lives randomly angsting over leadership crisis, ensuring not one race can even attempt to resist them because a bunch of Drow kids with short swords can level a settlement and not break a drop of sweat. The sentient beings taken by them become immediately docile and obedient to the point that they can openly gloat about eating their own kind to its face without as much as a spot of anger on the victim. Some have cat ears. All are bisexual. The main character pulls out any imaginary power out of her ass when cornered. There's faggotry like the drow getting high on chocolate (seriously). The drow are shown to be mostly cute, animesque and angsty nerdy teenagers who bitch to each other about their lives, imagining a peaceful future while hordes of slaves are brought to be abused and used up as labor, meat (yes, human meat is a delicacy and in famines slaves (especially humans) are regularly slaughtered for food and there are many Drow client races of furries, and dragons, so there is a good chance some of the sponsors or artists are furry/guro/dolcett/vorefags, the lowest kind of online creatures) in the underworld, completely missing the point of saying "maybe we should not prey on others and be happy and shit" earlier in some strip, when they have an orgy on the settlement they just conquered from humans. | The drow are OP compared to every other race and amorally waste lives randomly angsting over leadership crisis, ensuring not one race can even attempt to resist them because a bunch of Drow kids with short swords can level a settlement and not break a drop of sweat. The sentient beings taken by them become immediately docile and obedient to the point that they can openly gloat about eating their own kind to its face without as much as a spot of anger on the victim. Some have cat ears. All are bisexual. The main character pulls out any imaginary power out of her ass when cornered. There's faggotry like the drow getting high on chocolate (seriously). The drow are shown to be mostly cute, animesque and angsty nerdy teenagers who bitch to each other about their lives, imagining a peaceful future while hordes of slaves are brought to be abused and used up as labor, meat (yes, human meat is a delicacy and in famines slaves (especially humans) are regularly slaughtered for food and there are many Drow client races of furries, and dragons, so there is a good chance some of the sponsors or artists are furry/guro/dolcett/vorefags, the lowest kind of online creatures) in the underworld, completely missing the point of saying "maybe we should not prey on others and be happy and shit" earlier in some strip, when they have an orgy on the settlement they just conquered from humans. | ||
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Of course, the canon being the result of edgy roleplay sessions with immature bondage-curious kids might have a hand at continously smashing any drift in the Drow culture towards understanding and goodwill towards other races even when there is no motivation to continue being an asshole in a world in which Drow need a mana pool gathered by plants and cannot seperate from communities for a long time, and there is no Lol'th to worship, and the majority of the surface races are fed up with their slavery and massacres and are poised in a crusade against them. No, we'll just whip up some magitech superpower and our Drow characters will reign supreme... So that we can fund our CYOA bondage porn at ehentai.com where we act with the "spoils of war". | Of course, the canon being the result of edgy roleplay sessions with immature bondage-curious kids might have a hand at continously smashing any drift in the Drow culture towards understanding and goodwill towards other races even when there is no motivation to continue being an asshole in a world in which Drow need a mana pool gathered by plants and cannot seperate from communities for a long time, and there is no Lol'th to worship, and the majority of the surface races are fed up with their slavery and massacres and are poised in a crusade against them. No, we'll just whip up some magitech superpower and our Drow characters will reign supreme... So that we can fund our CYOA bondage porn at ehentai.com where we act with the "spoils of war". | ||
The amazing level of immature Villain Sue faggotry rises to new heights in a "Space Age" story arc about 10000 years later when Drow apparently are the sole rulers of their world and [[Wat|explore the space with mana powered spaceships and Earth of all places]]. In this arc Drow are somehow good people after 10000 years of slavery and genocide and help Earth humans with some civil war. | The amazing level of immature Villain Sue faggotry rises to new heights in a "Space Age" story arc about 10000 years later when Drow apparently are the sole rulers of their world and [[Wat|explore the space with mana powered spaceships and Earth of all places]]. In this arc Drow are somehow good people after 10000 years of slavery and genocide and help Earth humans with some civil war. | ||
The humans in their own planet?[http://badwebcomicswiki.shoutwiki.com/wiki/Drowtales Herded to mud hut reservations next to high tech Mary Sue cities.] | |||
[[Rage|tl;dr Space Opera, edgier and skubbier than Warhammer 40000]] | [[Rage|tl;dr Space Opera, edgier and skubbier than Warhammer 40000]] |
Revision as of 04:55, 27 March 2017
Drowtales: Moonless Age is a fantasy manga-style webcomic that has been running since 2001.
Drowtales has had many iterations, from it's original shitty MSPaint-tier art to dozens of artists collaborating on what is now unarguably one of the best looking webcomics on the internet. Whether the story has likewise improved at all is open to debate. Drowtales is a skub topic on /tg/ that causes massive levels of autism from both it's fans and anti-fans. /tg/ has had several raids of the site's roleplaying forums, with neckbeards attempting to fight the drow Mary Sues with their own dwarf Mary Sues. The only thing most anons agree on is about the art, which, admittedly, is pretty fucking badass.
The simplest way to describe what's wrong with Drowtales is thusly: Take Drizzt Syndrome, infect an entire planet's worth of elves with it and replace any self-awareness moments of characters with cognitive dissonance. Oh, and add in heaps of obnoxious T&A in the middle of all the wangst, and crank up the Grimdark up to eleven. So it's more Grimderp than Grimdark.
Story
A long time ago there were two elven nations at war. They used a magic spell to break the fucking moon apart and opened a giant portal to the netherworld so that demons flooded the surface of the planet and ate everyone.
What few elves survived this clusterfuck of a war went underground and turned into the drow. They built a giant city and then started fighting each other, preying on completely underpowered humans and slaughtering entire surface towns to drag women and children to slavery (while philosophizing about how their savior Jesus-archetype sorceress Sharess was a good Goddess...)
The empress's daughters betrayed her and locked her in her throne to starve to death while they took over the city, some people began tainting themselves with demons intentionally, the daughter of one of the clan leaders went to a magic school where she pretended to be a boy and then killed a bunch of her friends, a cult tried to summon a demon god into the underworld, and one of the empress's daughters made a magic flower bioweapon and rode around on a magic airship with mana cannon batteries. Blah blah blah. Cue slavery, its awkward confrontation and incredibly edgy Drow butchering each other with swords, crossbows, artillery, particle rifles and mana powered mecha and submarines (I wish I made that shit up) while arguing that slavery is crucial for them to survive for its food and textile yield. (Said houses have armies of golems, submarines and mecha operated by single Drow pilots who would render manual labor obsolete anyway, but then who'd have eye candy consisting of naked light elves in chains, depressed and ruined, sitting in the marketplace...?)
tl;dr story writer occasionally shocks with completely illogical edgy points just to leave a minty Skub taste in mouth.
Factions
- Sarghress: The clan the main character belongs to and thus the default "heroic" or "reasonable" one. They are a clan of mercenary commoners focused on strength, the rights of commoners, and so on. In a last few chapters, they started to liberate (Drow) slaves (honestly for pragmatic purposes to stop Sharen from using a slave army) and acting good...hopefully they'll extend the same courtesy to non-Drow in the future rather than becoming status quo humping, racist and xenophobic angsty elven sluts, so far we make do with them accepting any runaway non-Drow slave as a mercenary.
- Sharen: The aristocrats of the city who all wear beautiful outfits and act haughty. Their clan is split into multiple bloodlines who constantly plot against each other. These are the most D&D-like drow in the setting.
- Sullisin'rune: Essentially the Brave New World society in drow form. They wear a lot of blue, use empath abilities and have regular orgies in their glowing dome fortress. One of the more interesting factions in the story.
- Vloz'ress: Anarchist demon worshippers. Generally useless and self-defeating, have a musclegirl matriarch with brain damage making her equal to a 4 year-old child lesbian rapist and a reality busting, 4th wall leaning genocidal orange haired kid that turns the clan's slaves and captives into eternally tortured dolls. Basically the wet dream of an edgy, hateful kid hitting puberty. Jesus...
- Beldrobbaen: Emo goths who live in an inverted castle built on the cavern ceiling. They dress in all black and mope around. Needless to say, they are by far the most popular clan among the fanbase.
- Nal'sarkoth: Surface merchants who dress in all green. They barely show up in the story and nobody gives a flying fuck about them.
- Illhar'dro: The other merchant clan. Slightly more interesting in that they have a form of magic based on singing. Biggest exporter of drow pop stars in the underworld.
- Kyorl'solenurn: Fanatic crusader assholes, who, aside from torturing tainted Drow to death, are the exact same Mary Sue bastards, with a twist: most are descendants of former light elf slaves, so their hatred of tainted Drow might be an outlet for their passive-aggressive hatred.
- Jaal'darya: Female-only clan who use biotechnology. They create artificial life forms and transform their bodies into all kinds of weird shit.
So What's Wrong With It?
The main complaint /tg/ has is that the characters are all either Mary Sues, or edgier than Coldsteel the Hedgeheg even at inappropriate moments.
/tg/ doesn't mind grimdark. It doesn't mind slavery, S&M, badass Drow, porn, PROMOTIONS, mutilation and torture and wars, a world after a horrible disaster or hopeless, overwhelming racism and powerful warrior races ruining everyone's day.
/tg/ minds logic and moral dissonance, PARTICULARLY in form of Villain Sues, /tg/ minds weeaboo faggotry trying to show Dark Eldar level slave societies and the plot having more holes than swiss cheese with logic failures and Mary Sue faggotry combined with bishie sparkles that outdo Twilight... THEN authors claiming all sides have a grey morality scale when their creator pets surpass Caligula and Darth Vader in terms of fuckwittery and grimdark.
The parallels between the End Times Dark Elves and Drowtales' chocolate-junkie faggots are glaringly obvious: owing to the "all morality is relative" disease cropping up in millenial and degenerate online morons, it's not surprising we are invited to enjoy vicious, slavekeeping societies and accept them as they are.
Are They?
Boy oh boy. Grimderp up the wazoo, until the most jaded Neckbeard will throw the table and say "fuck it".
The series start with a illustration of how their poor race suffered a catastrophe and how "their story came to be"...right before we see a Drow war party happily slaughtering a human town and enslaving the women and children as the protagonist cheerfully tells her history of "kicking human asses" that grow like mushrooms around their cities. If you aren't getting a taste of edginess masquerading the massive Mary Sue complex, read on.
The drow are OP compared to every other race and amorally waste lives randomly angsting over leadership crisis, ensuring not one race can even attempt to resist them because a bunch of Drow kids with short swords can level a settlement and not break a drop of sweat. The sentient beings taken by them become immediately docile and obedient to the point that they can openly gloat about eating their own kind to its face without as much as a spot of anger on the victim. Some have cat ears. All are bisexual. The main character pulls out any imaginary power out of her ass when cornered. There's faggotry like the drow getting high on chocolate (seriously). The drow are shown to be mostly cute, animesque and angsty nerdy teenagers who bitch to each other about their lives, imagining a peaceful future while hordes of slaves are brought to be abused and used up as labor, meat (yes, human meat is a delicacy and in famines slaves (especially humans) are regularly slaughtered for food and there are many Drow client races of furries, and dragons, so there is a good chance some of the sponsors or artists are furry/guro/dolcett/vorefags, the lowest kind of online creatures) in the underworld, completely missing the point of saying "maybe we should not prey on others and be happy and shit" earlier in some strip, when they have an orgy on the settlement they just conquered from humans.
Meanwhile, surface elves have a patriarchal, prudish, pacifist and non-slaving, sex-segregated caste system, while the Drow are your typical bisexual, sex-rich, matriarchal BDSM empire which has slaves by the ton to eat/rape/kill with no moral compunctions, and the surface elves are pictures as the morally bad and boring side. The irony is lost on the writers...then maybe not, considering Drowtales goes pretty much as a hatefic against humans and especially heterosexual and morally consistent vanilla people. (Read: White and conservative)
Regarding the settlement which was conquered from killed humans... the "good" main character, after a blissful after-sex sleep with her lesbian empath drow Mary Sue, is woken up to a counterattack by desperate humans coming to save their kin... which are promptly murdered by the half-light half-dark elf paladin of Sharess (Yes, a Mary Sue worshipping a total Baldur's Gate rip-off) who is all high and righteous when she is burning innocent humans who wanted to save their kin from slave traders who'd buy the survivors. The protagonist's lesbian empath Drow (yes, with a length of purple hair paint, straight out of Deviantart) friend berates the cornered humans with a lame excuse line of "I feel your pain, why don't you take your survivors and run?!" when the said humans scream in desperation to save their families from the town's locked buildings, die horribly and our "I'm glad my clan Sargress prevents slavery, let's shake hands and feast on the food we just plundered!" protagonist shakes hands on it.
The drow are so OP in this setting that a couple of children who are competent magic users defeat and destroy an entire human settlement with walled fortifications and a brigade of heavily armed adult human guards, and take the light elven prisoners to an elven village, knowing they'd be enslaved underground, because they feel like being moral for once before buying another light elf slave at their underground city to cook for them. At first you think that it is like an examination of the conflicts that arise from putting a bunch of Mary Sues in a cavern that is too small for them, but then you realize that it is about a bunch of Mary Sues who are clearly a projection of the writers' hate of their own real life selves, especially White and Asian (Hermiones- who speak in a runic language and are basically, white Europeans with a Saxon/Crusader culture, Emberi- humans who look Japanese, incredibly submissive and only fit for slavery under beautiful black Drow, nevermind their women and children who are slaughtered, we'll just liberate a desperate female Emberi who is an arena slave for years and lost some of her sanity...to feel morally ok) and imagining themselves as superior snowflakes who can enslave, kill and liberate playing an amoral, gothic God.
Arguments with its fans about the plot dissonance reveal that they simply hand-wave any dissonance with the words that "they are a different species with morals" or "they see humans as bees disturbing them so they are morally justified to do so and if you disagree you aren't hardcore enough with your pink glass morality". So typical "I'm so different than mankind and gothic and purple haired faggot and I reject your HUUMAN morals of good and evil wankity wank wank" going on there.
Apparently in Drowtales' setting (in a very poorly explained page), Drow honor is based on the scale of a deed, not the justice of it (so basically it's moral to annihilate the surface and enslave everyone until somehow you feel bad, and immoral to fail destroying the fucking moon because you failed). However, this is contradicted by all the times where drow have normal, quite human morals (that they randomly choose to ignore, taking us back to step one, namely cognitive dissonance since writers without emotional maturity and experience are not the best prospect for authoring an artifical moral code, much less parade it as art).
Of course, the canon being the result of edgy roleplay sessions with immature bondage-curious kids might have a hand at continously smashing any drift in the Drow culture towards understanding and goodwill towards other races even when there is no motivation to continue being an asshole in a world in which Drow need a mana pool gathered by plants and cannot seperate from communities for a long time, and there is no Lol'th to worship, and the majority of the surface races are fed up with their slavery and massacres and are poised in a crusade against them. No, we'll just whip up some magitech superpower and our Drow characters will reign supreme... So that we can fund our CYOA bondage porn at ehentai.com where we act with the "spoils of war".
The amazing level of immature Villain Sue faggotry rises to new heights in a "Space Age" story arc about 10000 years later when Drow apparently are the sole rulers of their world and explore the space with mana powered spaceships and Earth of all places. In this arc Drow are somehow good people after 10000 years of slavery and genocide and help Earth humans with some civil war.
The humans in their own planet?Herded to mud hut reservations next to high tech Mary Sue cities.