Dragonborn

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Nowhere in the fluff does it say Dragonborn have tits, just this one picture in a sidebar. Goddamnit.

Dragonborn are a race from Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition. Because of their stats Dragonborn make the best Paladins.

Inexplicably, Dragonborn are described as maturing very quickly compared to humans, walking within a day or two of hatching and reaching the same level of development as a ten year old human child at the tender age of three, and then going on to reach adulthood at the incredibly early age of...fifteen. Exactly the same age as was given for human adulthood in 3e (unspecified in 4e). Also, despite being reptilian, they somehow have mammary glands, meaning, yes, they somehow have boobs. Why? Fuck if I know. Maybe they wanted to troll /tg/ even harder than just the insanity of 4e. Fucking scalies... This makes no sense since only mammals can have mammary glands (mammary glands are what make mammals, mammals) and since Dragons are reptiles this obviously means that Dragonborn are not actually descended from dragons are instead some kind of half-assed synapsid, like those bad ass gorgonopsids from Walking with monsters; only gayer. They didn't have boobs in 3.5e when they were just splatbook race, thus proving 3.5e's superiority.

People who are more comfortable with vidya gaems will call dragonborn "Argonians," for the swamp-dwellers in Elder Scrolls/ Morrowind, Oblivion, and Daggerfall (they were just palette swapped humans in Arena so that game isn't mentioned). People who are old school neckgreybeards will call them "warm-blooded lizard-folk with breath weapons and boobs, and don't get a bonus to holding their breath for no good goddamn reason."

Their evil counterparts are the Spawn of Tiamat, who thankfully lack mammary glands, probably because Tiamat isn't gay like Bahumat is (how do we know that Bahumat is gay? His seven gold dragon cohorts are of the same gender as he is, all of Tiamats five consorts, or fuck-buddies in modern english, are off the opposite gender, so at the very least Bahumat is nonsexual.) But seriously if you want to play as a dragon-man, get a half-dragon lizardfolk and beg your DM to remove the level adjustment (the racial hit dice is punishment enough.)

Dragonborn in 4e

• Height: 74" - 80". Weight: 220 - 320 lbs.
• Size Class: Normal. Speed: 6 squares.
• Ability Bonuses: +2 Strength, +2 Charisma
• Skill Bonuses: +2 History, +2 Intimidate
• Racial Abilities:
  • Dragonborn Fury: +1 bonus to attack when Bloodied (half hitpoints or lower)
  • Draconic Heritage: +CON bonus to healing surges
  • Dragon Breath: (Encounter Power, Minor Action) choose an element type and one physical attribute at character creation. Once per encounter, may exhale as a close blast-3 attack using ability mod +2 vs. Reflex for 1d6 +CON bonus damage to all in area.
• Recommended classes: Fighter, Paladin, Warlord

They have fine scales over all their body, with colors ranging between golden, scarlet, rust, ocher, bronze and brown. The scales aren't metallic, they feel like leather. They have blunt snouts, frills along the jawline, and a headcrest of long ropey scales (think the dreadlocks that the Predator alien had). There used to be a huge dragonborn empire, but it's gone more than a dozen generations ago (and Dragonborn live only as long as humans do), and now they're just rootless clans. They still hold onto the pride of once being on top, and they insist they were always honorable in the good ol' days, so feel free to play them like fire-breathing Klingons, or musclebound Russian gypsies.

Dragonborn in 3.5 Ed

They were published in "Races of the Dragon," (ISBN:978-0786939138, January 2006) an official splatbook written by Gwendolyn Kestrel, who also gave us "The Book of Erotic Fantasy (d20)". They were people of any race who got sucked into the cult of Bahamut and were born-again as lizardmen with a side-order of Mary-Sue.

• +2 Constitution, -2 Dexterity. Dragonborn are hearty and healthy, but they are awkward in their newly adopted bodies.
• Humanoid (dragonblood): Dragonborn are of their former type (usually humanoid) with the dragon subtype and any other subtypes they had before undergoing the Rite of Rebirth. For all effects related to race, a dragonborn is considered a dragon and a member of her original race. This does mean that ANY creature with intelligence 3+ and a non-evil alignment can become a dragonborn; warforged and awakened golems can become dragon-bots, awakened trees can become fucking dragon trees, ooze elementals can become goo-dragons, whatever. And yes, a dragon can be born again into a shittier dragon.
• Age: After a dragonborn undergoes the Rite of Rebirth, she emerges as an adult creature regardless of her previous age. If she lives for 200 years (see Table 1-1, page 10), she enters middle age. This is a good thing for human dragonborn, and a big disappointment for formerly immortal beings who became dragonborn.
• +2 dodge bonus to Armor Class against creatures of the dragon type. The dragonborn have an innate sense of how best to defend themselves against their potential enemies.
• Immunity to Frightful Presence: Dragonborn are immune to the frightful presence ability of dragons, just as if they were dragons.
• Draconic Aspect: Bahamut has blessed the dragonborn with aspects combining some of the best attributes of good dragons. Upon completing the Rite of Rebirth, a dragonborn chooses which of the following three aspects to manifest. Once the choice is made, it cannot be changed.
  • Heart (Su): A dragonborn who chooses heart as her draconic aspect gains a breath weapon. Straight line, (level/3 + 1)d8 damage, save for half, each use you can choose the damage type from these elements: acid, cold, electricity, or fire.
  • Mind (Ex): A dragonborn who selects the mind aspect sharpens her senses, gaining immunity to paralysis and magic sleep effects. She gains darkvision out to 30 feet and low-light vision, plus a +2 racial bonus on Listen, Search, and Spot checks.
  • Wings (Ex):A dragonborn who selects the wings aspect hatches sporting fully formed wings. Dragonborn can use these wings to aid their jumps (granting a +10 racial bonus on Jump checks) and to glide. Those with 6 HD or more can use their wings to fly.
• Automatic fluency in Draconic
• Favored Class: Fighter. No XP penalties for multiclassing into Fighter.
• Note that while Bahamut only accepts beings of lawful good or neutral good alignment as clerics, he accepts any non-evil being as dragonborn. Yes, Bahamut is the god of good dragons, won't actually accept the prayers of Always Chaotic Good brass and copper dragons, but will still let them be reborn into shittier dragons.

Dragonborn in 3rd Ed

They were called 'half-dragon templates', and had no fluff other than "Dude, a dragon fucked your mom? Duuuuudde!"

• Hit Dice: bump it up one die type, no larger than d12
• AC: +4 racial bonus to base armor class
• Attacks: Bite attack for d6, claw attack for d4
• Special Attacks: breath weapon 1/day, damage ranges from 3d6 to 6d10, depending on who fucked your mom
• Special Senses: gains low-light and darkvision to 60'
• Special Defenses: immune to sleep and paralysis effects, and immunity to 1 elemental type depending on who fucked your mom.
• Ability scores: +8 Str, +2 Con, +2 Int, +2 Cha
• Challenge Rating: +2 of base creature. Yep, just +2, because it rhymes with "Mary-Sue" ('cause I still know what that means), although the DMG says being a half-dragon counts for +4 extra levels if you're playing it as a PC.

Gallery

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I'm an adventurer! Sunder Armor Move action: Flee Full Dex bonus to AC

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Spears don't work that way Oh yeah, polish it. Oh look, an awful meme as well. Just look at this furry shit. Yes, those things actually work.