Adeptus Mechanicus: Difference between revisions
No edit summary |
(spelling and grammar) |
||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
{{Wh40k-stub}} | {{Wh40k-stub}} | ||
[[Image:MECHANICUS.jpg|thumb|right]] | [[Image:MECHANICUS.jpg|thumb|right]] | ||
The '''Adeptus Mechanicus''' is an | The '''Adeptus Mechanicus''' is an organization in the [[Imperium of Man]] responsible for technology, engineering and most of the Imperium's Industrial production, as well as the operation of the Titan Legions. The Adeptus Mechanicus controls thousands of forge worlds (think about any death metal/industrialist band CD illustration obsessed with heavily industrialized landscapes and you will get a bit close to the idea). The largest forge world of the Adeptus Mechanicus is Mars, on which the most badass weapons ever known to man are made. Common belief holds that they're pants-on-head retarded because they supposedly treat technology like magic, the reason is because they think machines have souls of their own, for example, the reason why the microwave doesn't work is it is tired of heating that high in cholesterol freeze food. | ||
They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the | They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary or if they're threatened personally. They have two armies of their own (what are not anything like the [[Imperial Guard]], as they are mostly composed by badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots what are more violent than ED209) and giant, tank-crushing, lobotomized minions. | ||
Fluff says the reason why they exist is because the Emperor read too many times The Foundation saga, A chant for Leibowitz and watched too many times Tetsuo:the iron man and Tetsuo II:the body hammer and after | Fluff says the reason why they exist is because the Emperor read too many times The Foundation saga, A chant for Leibowitz and watched too many times Tetsuo:the iron man and Tetsuo II:the body hammer and after beating the crap out of the Dragonvoid and trapping him in Mars he had the idea it would be cool have a church of people obsessed with greasy machines in the future instead of scientist and engineers. | ||
They also spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old PCs ,called STC, what have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and high-tech for retards manuals),also being the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study for be an engineer in the [[Imperium]] because everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gybson. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STC found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than Windows Vista or Windows ME, so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic. | They also spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old PCs ,called STC, what have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and high-tech for retards manuals),also being the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study for be an engineer in the [[Imperium]] because everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gybson. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STC found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than Windows Vista or Windows ME, so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic. | ||
Revision as of 09:07, 18 October 2009
The Adeptus Mechanicus is an organization in the Imperium of Man responsible for technology, engineering and most of the Imperium's Industrial production, as well as the operation of the Titan Legions. The Adeptus Mechanicus controls thousands of forge worlds (think about any death metal/industrialist band CD illustration obsessed with heavily industrialized landscapes and you will get a bit close to the idea). The largest forge world of the Adeptus Mechanicus is Mars, on which the most badass weapons ever known to man are made. Common belief holds that they're pants-on-head retarded because they supposedly treat technology like magic, the reason is because they think machines have souls of their own, for example, the reason why the microwave doesn't work is it is tired of heating that high in cholesterol freeze food.
They also tend to hog all the really cool shit for themselves--like Titans and other wonderful stuff--only letting the Imperials have it when really, really necessary or if they're threatened personally. They have two armies of their own (what are not anything like the Imperial Guard, as they are mostly composed by badass angry cyborgs and boxy technogrunge robots what are more violent than ED209) and giant, tank-crushing, lobotomized minions.
Fluff says the reason why they exist is because the Emperor read too many times The Foundation saga, A chant for Leibowitz and watched too many times Tetsuo:the iron man and Tetsuo II:the body hammer and after beating the crap out of the Dragonvoid and trapping him in Mars he had the idea it would be cool have a church of people obsessed with greasy machines in the future instead of scientist and engineers.
They also spend a lot of time traveling across the galaxy looking for some old PCs ,called STC, what have all the info necessary for the first human colonist do their job well (mostly a mix of Ikea and high-tech for retards manuals),also being the reason why you will end selling grox hamburgers if you study for be an engineer in the Imperium because everything was already done by the ancients in the Dark Age of William Gybson. Thanks to borderline developers and programmers, all the STC found by the Mechanicus are more fucked up than Windows Vista or Windows ME, so when they found an undamaged one they get truly orgasmic.
-
-
D'awwww.
-
PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH!
