Detect Evil

The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

"At will, a paladin can use detect evil, as the spell."

"...If you are of good alignment, and the strongest evil aura’s power is overwhelming (see chart), and the HD or level of the aura’s source is at least twice your character level, you are stunned for 1 round and the spell ends."

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this space reserved for the earlier detect evil writefag story

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I don't like using Detect Evil, but it's necessary for my calling. Most people will say so-and-so is evil, but what they really mean is "so-and-so did something that hurt me," or "I feel so-and-so will be dangerous to me at some future date." That's when they're telling the truth; there are some who will try to convince me someone is evil just to get that innocent person out of their way.

So I have to use the gift given to me by God to detect true evil. I've already said I don't like it, and it isn't easy. It doesn't sort the world into good and evil like sorting beans; it doesn't even sort the world into evil and not-evil. What I get is a sense of just how disgusting and horrible the world can be like.

How do I describe it? I'll try using smell, though this isn't really smell. Close your eyes, and think back to the last time you had a really good meal, something hot and steaming, something that a loved one made for you. Try to remember what you were thinking: the anticipation of delicious food, how your hunger twinged a little more because you knew it would be sated, how you breathed deep so you could fill your nose and head with more of it's scent. It would seem so natural to tuck into that meal with enthusiasm, wouldn't it? It would be almost inhuman to think otherwise.

Now, the last time you had to go to the latrine, or a slaughterhouse, or an offal pit, do you remember the smells? Probably not as well as you would remember the meal, and certainly not as cherished. Did you have any sense of hunger, of satiety, pleasure? No, you wanted to just do your business and leave as soon as possible. The concept of spending the whole day there would turn your stomach -- and actually eating while that rank stench pollutes your head? Impossible.

My God has granted me the sense to "smell" the evil in men's hearts. And it is much worse than any slaughterhouse. Everyone has some smell about them, from venial sins or repressed anger. Even in my own order, we are not flawless, and it is good incentive to live by virtue just so we do not to embarrass ourselves among our peers. But when I have the misfortune of meeting the truly horrible men among us, someone whose very soul is tainted with evil acts committed and evil plans awaiting, my eyes water from the reek of darkness and my meal fights it's way up my throat to escape. It's all I can do not to find it's source and extinguish the malodorous heart by plucking it from its ribs and dashing it on the ground, just so I don't have to put up with it's terrible retching presence.

"Fixing" Detect Evil

Regardless of the above excellent writefaggotry, Detect Evil is usually used for terrible purposes by a lot of not very bright players and DMs (who try to use it as a "detect people who have committed crimes I am willing to kill people for committing" spell). Further, it has a bad habit of imposing an objective moral system on the setting, which is frequently thought a bad thing in these more enlightened times.

Various methods used to correct these flaws at a system level include:

• 5th Edition D&D confines the "Evil" it detects to Outsiders, Undead, and Holy Ground of any sort. Human/Orcish/Elvish/etc. evil not detected unless they've been working directly for the Supernatural.
• Embrace it, and then "deconstruct" it into uselessness. Didn't donate to the orphanage? That's as Evil an act as human sacrifice to the Nine Hells!
• Make it go off on innocents due to curses and so on. Forex, in Werewolf: The Apocalypse, people who have eaten at a Pentex-owned fast food chain smell as Wyrm tainted for a while afterwards.

For DMs in need of gimping the "looking for targets I can murderhobo freely" problem:

• The DM should note that casting Detect Evil is incredibly rude--a bit like sniffing deeply anybody you come in contact with.
• This is an obvious spell use, even for Paladins. Given that you're probably playing in a system (D&D 3rd or Pathfinder) where meta-magic feats are a thing, have people react as if this is an attempted attack.
• Have important, dangerous people trigger it. The Lawful Evil head of the Town Guard who takes bribes, but is otherwise the best man for the job.
• The "Protection From Evil" spell explicitly states it will abjure Outsiders ("enchanted, conjured or summoned" in 1st edition), even neutral- or good-aligned ones you would want as allies.

Never lie to players; if they are using Detect Evil as part of an investigation, feeding them wrong information is just petty. But if you really got to get out of a corner:

• "Nystul's Magic Aura" is a first-level arcane spell that lasts 1 day per level, since 1st edition. In 3rd edition, "Misdirection" is second-level and lasts 1 hour per level. Now if only the heroes thought to detect for illusions instead of evil...
• "ah, you're detecting the cursed armour I'm wearing. Can't take it off, you know what cursed items are like."
• the halfling of indeterminate alignment carries around a sheet of lead with fast reflexes, "for cultural reasons."

See Also

• Powder Keg of Justice
• | Here's some possible solutions for DMs in D&D