[[Image:Chessblackarmy.jpg|thumb|Chess, yes it IS this exciting.]]
[[Image:Chessblackarmy.jpg|thumb|Chess, yes it IS this exciting.]]
[[Image:Checkmate.png|thumb|[[Just as planned]].]]
According to /tg/ '''chess''' is just a cheap western knockoff of the much superior ancient Chinese game of [[go]], even though neither are in any way similar to each other. Despite its rampant popularity, it is obvious it fails in every way to simulate war, tactics, combat or anything else it has been hyped over for centuries about. Common complaints include the lack of army list and deployment options, the Knight's plain weird movement and the fact that the King is both the most important piece and completely useless.
According to /tg/ '''chess''' is just a cheap western knockoff of the much superior ancient Chinese game of [[go]], even though neither are in any way similar to each other. Despite its rampant popularity, it is obvious it fails in every way to simulate war, tactics, combat or anything else it has been hyped over for centuries about. Common complaints include the lack of army list and deployment options, the Knight's plain weird movement and the fact that the King is both the most important piece and completely useless.
__NOTOC__
==Rules==
;Basic rules
* Two players play this game.
* [[Image:Checkmate.png|thumb|[[Just as planned]].]]The players' goal is to kill the King of the opponent. This is called a checkmate; the Persian "Shāh Māt" literally means "The king is dead" with some changes in Arabic. If the king is threatened, we call it chess and - because of the Brutality Rule (below) (and because you would immediately lose after it) - you cannot allow him to be killed. You have to:
** move the King away,
** get a piece of your own between the King and the piece threatening to provide cover or
** capture the attacker piece.
*If you can't do any of these, the death of the King is inevitable; you lose.
* If a King is dead, his troops will surrender IMMEDIATELY. If you expose your king but you can kill the enemy king in the next move, you still lose (and thus, are not allowed to expose him in the first place, because of the Rule of Brutality).
* You can also lose when you resign, or if you run out of time (on a timed game, only professional games). If neither player has enough resources to kill the enemy King, or if both players agree to this, the game ends in a tie. Stalemate also ends the game in a tie, look below.
* The game doesn't encourage passive play, if the same position is repeated three times or if 50 turns pass without moving a pawn or killing anyone, there is no progress made and both players are allowed (not forced) to claim a tie.
;The arena
The battlefield is an 8 by 8 board, the columns (files) marked with letters, the rows (ranks) with numbers so that the squares can be referenced easily (with [[Main Page|d4]] or similarly). The board is checkered, h1 is white.
The game is played in turns, one turn is the period of time between (for example) before white's move to after black's next move.
==Rules==
;Brutality rule
'''Basic rules:'''
Even pre-teen kids play this game, so no actual killing is ever shown. The game ends if a king is threatened with inevitable "capture". So, it's against the rules to expose your king (for example, by moving a piece previously granting cover to the king (think of it as if the piece was pinned down) or moving the king to a threatened square) because the opponent could kill the king. (These moves would only be good for losing anyway.) Also, when killing any other pieces, it's officially called capturing them.
Two players play this game.<br/>
;Combat system
The players' goal is to kill the King of the opponent. This is called a checkmate; the Persian "Shāh Māt" literally means "The king is dead" with some changes in Arabic. If the king is threatened, we call it chess and - because of the Brutality Rule (below) (and because you would immediately lose after it) - you cannot allow him to be killed. You have to:
In this game, initiative is key because there ''aren't'' tons of hit points granted for every piece. If your piece attack first, even your pawn can kill the enemy queen, because everyone has only 1 HP. Everyone is always surprised (apparently they don't really want to fight and only the King makes them to) so if it's your turn, you can capture any piece you threaten. You can't attack pieces in cover (except with the Knight). You can't move without attacking (except with the pawn) but you can attack empty squares too (again, except with the pawn). If you attack either an empty square or an enemy piece, you'll win the fight and you must move the attacking piece to the attacked square. This move is compulsory, you cannot decide not to. You can't attack your own piece, even when they provide cover for the enemy, the game isn't set in [[Warhammer_40k|That One Grimdark Setting]]. Quite easy, and streamlined, eh? Guess it reminds you of [[4e|something]]...
* move the King away,
* get a piece of your own between the King and the piece threatening to provide cover or
* capture the attacker piece.
If you can't do any of these, the death of the King is inevitable, you lose.<br/>
If a King is dead, his troops will surrender IMMEDIATELY. If you expose your king but you can kill the enemy king in the next move, you still lose (and thus, are not allowed to expose him in the first place, because of the Rule of Brutality).<br/>
You can also lose when you resign, or if you run out of time (on a timed game, only professional games). If neither player has enough resources to kill the enemy King, or if both players agree to this, the game ends in a tie. Stalemate also ends the game in a tie, look below.<br/>
The game doesn't encourage passive play, if the same position is repeated three times or if 50 turns pass without moving a pawn or killing anyone, there is no progress made and both players are allowed (not forced) to claim a tie.
'''The battlefield''' is an 8 by 8 board, the columns (files) marked with letters, the rows (ranks) with numbers so that the squares can be referenced easily (with [[Main Page|d4]] or similarly). The board is checkered, h1 is white.
=== The Pieces ===
[[Image:Chessmechs.jpg|center|640px]]
Unlike similar games, you don't get to assemble your battleforce. It is probably because the field is rather small (40' by 40'), and both players have 16 pieces. So the starting force is the same for both players (approximated to be a 38 points army).
The game is played in turns, one turn is the period of time between (for example) before white's move to after black's next move.
'''King:''' The weakest piece, basically he is on the battlefield to give the army the morale bonus to fight indefinitely. (I think they drug their troops.) He can attack all the squares around him like any normal D&D characters. He isn't worth any points and you must field one to play.
'''Brutality rule:''' Even pre-teen kids play this game, so no actual killing is ever shown. The game ends if a king is threatened with inevitable "capture". So, it's against the rules to expose your king (for example, by moving a piece previously granting cover to the king (think of it as if the piece was pinned down) or moving the king to a threatened square) because the opponent could kill the king. (These moves would only be good for losing anyway.) Also, when killing any other pieces, it's officially called capturing them.
'''Rook:''' You have got two of these quite powerful pieces. They are basically castles with cannons on them so they can attack everything in the row and column they are at (but watch out, Cover rules apply for them too). For some [[nerf|unexplained reason]] they can only attack once in the turn. Funnily enough, they too have to move to the square they attacked. They are said to be worth 5 points.
'''Combat system:''' In this game, initiative is key because there ''aren't'' tons of hit points granted for every piece. If your piece attack first, even your pawn can kill the enemy queen, because everyone has only 1 HP. Everyone is always surprised (apparently they don't really want to fight and only the King makes them to) so if it's your turn, you can capture any piece you threaten. You can't attack pieces in cover (except with the Knight). You can't move without attacking (except with the pawn) but you can attack empty squares too (again, except with the pawn). If you attack either an empty square or an enemy piece, you'll win the fight and you must move the attacking piece to the attacked square. This move is compulsory, you cannot decide not to. You can't attack your own piece, even when they provide cover for the enemy, the game isn't set in [[Warhammer_40k|That One Grimdark Setting]]. Quite easy, and streamlined, eh? Guess it reminds you of [[4e|something]]...
'''Bishop:''' People will tell you that he has similar powers then the Rook. Don't believe them! Basically, they can do everything the Rook can, but only diagonally, which means that half of the battlefield is simply as unreachable to them as if it was in another continent. This is why you get 2 of them, one for the white, and another for the black square. For this, they are apprised(?) to worth 3 points.
'''The pieces:'''
'''Queen:''' This is easy. She gets to do everything the Rook AND the Bishop combined can. She is the strongest piece of your army, she '''''really''''' doesn't get [[-4 Str|-4 STR]]. There is obviously only one Queen. Worth 8 (=5+3) points.
Unlike similar games, you don't get to assemble your battleforce. It is probably because the field is rather small (40' by 40'), and both players have 16 pieces. So the starting force is the same for both players (approximated to be a 38 points army).
'''kNight:''' This is the most controversial piece of the Chess army. People will tell you that it's difficult to keep in mind how they can attack. Lies! It's very easy: a Knight is basically a character with a reach weapon. He can't attack squares next to him and he can attack all the squares 10 feet of him, except the ones which the Queen would be able (most likely balance reasons). This leaves 8 attackable pieces. He can also attack pieces behind cover. Still, for their limited range, they get only 3 points. However, you get to field 2 of them.
'''King:''' The weakest piece, basically he is on the battlefield to give the army the morale bonus to fight indefinitely. (I think they drug their troops.) He can attack all the squares around him like any normal D&D characters. He isn't worth any points and you must field one to play.<br/>
'''Pawn:''' The backbone of your army, they are the only ones which can move without attacking. You've got 8 of them, and they can move only forward one step in a turn. If they haven't moved or attacked yet, they can move two squares to give them a head start. They however, can't attack forward, only diagonally, forward-left or forward-right, and they can't attack empty squares. They seem quite weak and indeed, they are the unit of point-counting, only worth 1, but this changes when they reach the opponent's end of the battlefield. When they are there, they don't get unusable, they get special powers instead: They will become a queen, a rook, a bishop or a knight (your choice). No you cannot make your pawn into another king, as much sense as it would make to have a backup. This doesn't even take a turn, at the moment they reach the end of the battlefield, you can switch the pieces. In professional play, the arbiter can provide you with the extra piece, in casual play, you can surely use counters. If your opponent claims that you can only use previously captured pieces, either he lies or I do right now.
'''Rook:''' You have got two of these quite powerful pieces. They are basically castles with cannons on them so they can attack everything in the row and column they are at (but watch out, Cover rules apply for them too). For some [[nerf|unexplained reason]] they can only attack once in the turn. Funnily enough, they too have to move to the square they attacked. They are said to be worth 5 points.<br/>
'''Bishop:''' People will tell you that he has similar powers then the Rook. Don't believe them! Basically, they can do everything the Rook can, but only diagonally, which means that half of the battlefield is simply as unreachable to them as if it was in another continent. This is why you get 2 of them, one for the white, and another for the black square. For this, they are apprised(?) to worth 3 points.<br/>
'''Queen:''' This is easy. She gets to do everything the Rook AND the Bishop combined can. She is the strongest piece of your army, she '''''really''''' doesn't get [[-4 Str|-4 STR]]. There is obviously only one Queen. Worth 8 (=5+3) points.<br/>
'''kNight:''' This is the most controversial piece of the Chess army. People will tell you that it's difficult to keep in mind how they can attack. Lies! It's very easy: a Knight is basically a character with a reach weapon. He can't attack squares next to him and he can attack all the squares 10 feet of him, except the ones which the Queen would be able (most likely balance reasons). This leaves 8 attackable pieces. He can also attack pieces behind cover. Still, for their limited range, they get only 3 points. However, you get to field 2 of them.<br/>
'''pawn:''' The backbone of your army, they are the only ones which can move without attacking. You've got 8 of them, and they can move only forward one step in a turn. If they haven't moved or attacked yet, they can move two squares to give them a head start. They however, can't attack forward, only diagonally, forward-left or forward-right, and they can't attack empty squares. They seem quite weak and indeed, they are the unit of point-counting, only worth 1, but this changes when they reach the opponent's end of the battlefield. When they are there, they don't get unusable, they get special powers instead: They will become a queen, a rook, a bishop or a knight (your choice). No you cannot make your pawn into another king, as much sense as it would make to have a backup. This doesn't even take a turn, at the moment they reach the end of the battlefield, you can switch the pieces. In professional play, the arbiter can provide you with the extra piece, in casual play, you can surely use counters. If your opponent claims that you can only use previously captured pieces, either he lies or I do right now.
'''Army setup:'''
=== Army setup ===
This is also set in stone like battleforce assembling, White can place pieces from a1 to h2, black from h8 to a7.
This is also set in stone like battleforce assembling, White can place pieces from a1 to h2, black from h8 to a7.
You place the King and the Queen to the middle of the row closest to the players: Queens d1 and d8, Kings e1 and e8.<br/>
* You place the King and the Queen to the middle of the row closest to the players: Queens d1 and d8, Kings e1 and e8.
Next to them (c1, g1, c8, g8) come the bishops, then the knights and finally the rooks.<br/>
* Next to them (c1, g1, c8, g8) come the bishops, then the knights and finally the rooks.
The second row (a-h 2 and a-h 7) is filled with the 8 pawns of the players.
* The second row (a-h 2 and a-h 7) is filled with the 8 pawns of the players.
'''The gameplay:'''
== The gameplay ==
First both players roll a die. Whoever rolled higher rejoices; white starts. The players take turns after each other to play.<br/>
* First both players roll a die. Whoever rolled higher rejoices; white starts. The players take turns after each other to play.
To maximize tactical combat, you and your opponent can use only one piece in a turn, unlike games where you move all of them in the same turn.<br/>
* To maximize tactical combat, you and your opponent can use only one piece in a turn, unlike games where you move all of them in the same turn.
In your turn, you have to attack (or move) with a piece. You can't pass. After all, this battle is lead by The King Himself, we can't just do nothing!<br/>
* In your turn, you have to attack (or move) with a piece. You can't pass. After all, this battle is lead by The King Himself, we can't just do nothing!
If you can't move but your King isn't threatened right now, the game end in a tie. This is called a stalemate and is often the refuge of the inferior side in the endgame.
* If you can't move but your King isn't threatened right now, the game end in a tie. This is called a stalemate and is often the refuge of the inferior side in the endgame.
'''Variants:'''
=== Variants ===
Chess is nothing but a huge ripoff of older and cooler games (Shatranj,Chess with elephants, hell yes) but has still managed to given birth to a few amusing variants. One is commonly called "Bughouse" (like that has to do with anything) or "4 player chess". Most people cry witchcraft at this point, but it actually works. Bughouse is two teams playing against each other so that one member of each team is white and the other is black. (It's racist but what can you do?) Every time your partner takes a piece he hands it to you. Every turn you have you can either move a piece that's already on the board or drop that captured piece on any unoccupied square. Yes, this makes surprise butt sex possible through chess. By playing this way you can annoy your opponent for hours by dropping pawns all over the place as long as you have a partner with half a brain. Usually Bughouse is played on a very limited clock because no one wants to watch slow butt sex.
Chess is nothing but a huge ripoff of older and cooler games (Shatranj,Chess with elephants, hell yes) but has still managed to given birth to a few amusing variants. One is commonly called "Bughouse" (like that has to do with anything) or "4 player chess". Most people cry witchcraft at this point, but it actually works. Bughouse is two teams playing against each other so that one member of each team is white and the other is black. (It's racist but what can you do?) Every time your partner takes a piece he hands it to you. Every turn you have you can either move a piece that's already on the board or drop that captured piece on any unoccupied square. Yes, this makes surprise butt sex possible through chess. By playing this way you can annoy your opponent for hours by dropping pawns all over the place as long as you have a partner with half a brain. Usually Bughouse is played on a very limited clock because no one wants to watch slow butt sex.
Line 57:
Line 63:
WARNING: Do not attempt Bughouse unless you are actually good at chess or you are likely to break your brain.
WARNING: Do not attempt Bughouse unless you are actually good at chess or you are likely to break your brain.
'''Special rules:'''
=== Special rules ===
''- Attack of Opportunity:''<br/>
;Attack of Opportunity
This game is older than D&D so people will like to call it "en passant" instead, and this is easier then the AoO rule of D&D. If an enemy pawn moves 2 pieces (from where he started), and it arrives right next to (1 step to the left or the right) a pawn of yours, you can attack it mid-move (as if it only moved 1 square). The attack will be successful and your pawn moves to the square the other pawn was at the time of the AoO, as usual. However, doing so will take your next turn so you don't have to do that and until you use up your next turn, you'll have time to decide to do that.
This game is older than D&D so people will like to call it "en passant" instead, and this is easier then the AoO rule of D&D. If an enemy pawn moves 2 pieces (from where he started), and it arrives right next to (1 step to the left or the right) a pawn of yours, you can attack it mid-move (as if it only moved 1 square). The attack will be successful and your pawn moves to the square the other pawn was at the time of the AoO, as usual. However, doing so will take your next turn so you don't have to do that and until you use up your next turn, you'll have time to decide to do that.
''- Castling:''<br/>
;Castling
If you think that your King is too exposed, you can "castle" him by moving the King two squares toward the Rook you want to use for this maneuver, and immediately placing the castle to the far side of the king. It only takes 1 turn and thus, is a really powerful move. However, this has multiple conditions:
If you think that your King is too exposed, you can "castle" him by moving the King two squares toward the Rook you want to use for this maneuver, and immediately placing the castle to the far side of the king. It only takes 1 turn and thus, is a really powerful move. However, this has multiple conditions:
* The King and the Rook you want to use didn't attack previously
* The King and the Rook you want to use didn't attack previously
Line 69:
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* To munchkins: The King and the Rook must be on the same row, you cannot castle with a pawn-rook.
* To munchkins: The King and the Rook must be on the same row, you cannot castle with a pawn-rook.
'''[[Serious Business]]:'''
== [[Serious Business]] ==
Professional players claim that Chess is serious business so they invented a lot of extra rules like this football (I won't call it soccer!) throw-in rule: "At the moment of delivering the ball, the thrower must face the field of play, have both feet on the ground on or outside the touch line, and use both hands to deliver the ball from behind and over his head." - unneeded rules for the sake of penalizing the other player. I won't 1d4ise these, so straight from Wikipedia:
Okay, this is damn bloody long so I hid it. If you want to read these, you can on the Edit page. If anyone has a better way to hide it, be my guest.
<!--
*Act of moving the pieces:
** The movement of pieces is to be done with one hand. Once the hand is taken off a piece, the move cannot be retracted (if it is a legal move). When castling (see below), the player should first move the king with one hand and then move the rook with the same hand.
** In the case of a pawn promotion, if the player releases the pawn on the eighth rank, the player must promote the pawn. After the pawn has moved, the player may touch any piece not on the board and the promotion is not finalized until the new piece is released on the promotion square.
* Touch-move rule:
** In serious play, if a player having the move touches one of his or her pieces as if having the intention of moving it, then he or she must move it if it can be legally moved. So long as the hand has not left the piece on a new square, the latter can be placed on any accessible square. If a player touches one of the opponent's pieces then he or she must capture that piece if it can be captured. If none of the touched pieces can be moved or captured there is no penalty, but the rule still applies to the players own pieces.
** When castling, the king must be the first piece touched. If the player touches his or her rook at the same time as touching the king, he or she must castle with that rook if it is legal to do so. If the player completes a two-square king move without touching a rook, he or she must move the correct rook accordingly if castling in that direction is legal. If a player starts to castle illegally, another legal king move must be made if possible, including castling with the other rook.
** When a pawn is moved to its eighth rank, once the player takes his or her hand off the pawn, it can no longer be substituted for a different move of the pawn. However, the move is not complete until the promoted piece is released on that square.
** If a player wishes to touch a piece with the intention of adjusting its position on a square, he or she must first alert his or her opponent of his or her intention by saying "J'adoube" or "I adjust". Once the game has started, only the player with the move may touch the pieces on the board.
* Timing:
** Tournament games are played under time constraints, called time controls, using a game clock. Each player must make his or her moves within the time control or be subject to forfeiting the game. There are different types of time controls. In some cases each player will have a certain amount of time to make a certain number of moves. In other cases each player will have a limited amount of time to make all of his or her moves. In addition to having this time limit, the player may gain a small amount of additional time for each move made, either by a small increment added for each move made or by the clock delaying a small amount of time each time it is started after the opponent's move.
*** If a player delivers a checkmate, the game is over and he or she wins, no matter what is subsequently noticed about the time on the clock.
*** If player A calls attention to the fact that player B is out of time while player A is not out of time and some sequence of legal moves leads to B being checkmated then player A wins automatically. If player A does not have the possibility of checkmating B then the game is a draw.
*** If player A calls attention to the fact that player B is out of time, but it is then noted that player A is also out of time, then:
**** If a sudden death control is not being used, the game continues in the next time control.
**** if the game is played under a sudden death time control (each player has a fixed amount of time no matter how many moves are played), then if it can be established which player ran out of time first, the game is lost by that player; otherwise the game is drawn.
** If a player believes his or her opponent is attempting to win the game on time and not by normal means (i.e. checkmate), if it is a sudden death time control and the player has less than two minutes remaining, he or she may stop the clocks and claim a draw with the arbiter. The arbiter may declare the game a draw or postpone the decision and allot the opponent two extra minutes.
* Recording moves:
** In formal competition, each player is obliged to record each move as it is played in a chess notation in order to settle disputes about illegal positions, overstepping time control, and making claims of draws by the fifty-move rule or repetition of position. Algebraic chess notation is the accepted standard for recording games today. There are other systems such as ICCF numeric notation for international correspondence chess and the obsolete descriptive chess notation.
** Offers of a draw are indicated by writing "=". Notations about the time on the clocks can be made. If a player has less than five minutes left to complete all of their moves, they are not required to record the moves (unless a delay of at least thirty seconds per move is being used). The scoresheet must be made available to the arbiter at all times. A player may respond to an opponent's move before writing it down.
-->
Professional players claim that Chess is serious business so they invented a lot of extra rules like this football (I won't call it soccer!) throw-in rule: "At the moment of delivering the ball, the thrower must face the field of play, have both feet on the ground on or outside the touch line, and use both hands to deliver the ball from behind and over his head." - unneeded rules for the sake of penalizing the other player. Seriously: 310 words just about the shit you gotta do when TOUCHING the pieces. I won't 1d4ise these, so go [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess to The Other Wiki] and see for yourself.
If any of the rules isn't clear for you, 1.) you don't belong to 1d4chan and 2.) go look it up on [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page That Other Wiki] where it's not written to be similar to /tg/s.
If any of the rules aren't clear for you, why the fuck are you reading a wiki about this? There's a goddamn store in my neighbourhood that sells ONLY books about chess. It's been done to death; there's probably entire shelves about chess at your local library.
==External Links==
==External Links==
Revision as of 09:40, 23 July 2011
Chess, yes it IS this exciting.
According to /tg/ chess is just a cheap western knockoff of the much superior ancient Chinese game of go, even though neither are in any way similar to each other. Despite its rampant popularity, it is obvious it fails in every way to simulate war, tactics, combat or anything else it has been hyped over for centuries about. Common complaints include the lack of army list and deployment options, the Knight's plain weird movement and the fact that the King is both the most important piece and completely useless.
Rules
Basic rules
Two players play this game.
Just as planned.The players' goal is to kill the King of the opponent. This is called a checkmate; the Persian "Shāh Māt" literally means "The king is dead" with some changes in Arabic. If the king is threatened, we call it chess and - because of the Brutality Rule (below) (and because you would immediately lose after it) - you cannot allow him to be killed. You have to:
move the King away,
get a piece of your own between the King and the piece threatening to provide cover or
capture the attacker piece.
If you can't do any of these, the death of the King is inevitable; you lose.
If a King is dead, his troops will surrender IMMEDIATELY. If you expose your king but you can kill the enemy king in the next move, you still lose (and thus, are not allowed to expose him in the first place, because of the Rule of Brutality).
You can also lose when you resign, or if you run out of time (on a timed game, only professional games). If neither player has enough resources to kill the enemy King, or if both players agree to this, the game ends in a tie. Stalemate also ends the game in a tie, look below.
The game doesn't encourage passive play, if the same position is repeated three times or if 50 turns pass without moving a pawn or killing anyone, there is no progress made and both players are allowed (not forced) to claim a tie.
The arena
The battlefield is an 8 by 8 board, the columns (files) marked with letters, the rows (ranks) with numbers so that the squares can be referenced easily (with d4 or similarly). The board is checkered, h1 is white.
The game is played in turns, one turn is the period of time between (for example) before white's move to after black's next move.
Brutality rule
Even pre-teen kids play this game, so no actual killing is ever shown. The game ends if a king is threatened with inevitable "capture". So, it's against the rules to expose your king (for example, by moving a piece previously granting cover to the king (think of it as if the piece was pinned down) or moving the king to a threatened square) because the opponent could kill the king. (These moves would only be good for losing anyway.) Also, when killing any other pieces, it's officially called capturing them.
Combat system
In this game, initiative is key because there aren't tons of hit points granted for every piece. If your piece attack first, even your pawn can kill the enemy queen, because everyone has only 1 HP. Everyone is always surprised (apparently they don't really want to fight and only the King makes them to) so if it's your turn, you can capture any piece you threaten. You can't attack pieces in cover (except with the Knight). You can't move without attacking (except with the pawn) but you can attack empty squares too (again, except with the pawn). If you attack either an empty square or an enemy piece, you'll win the fight and you must move the attacking piece to the attacked square. This move is compulsory, you cannot decide not to. You can't attack your own piece, even when they provide cover for the enemy, the game isn't set in That One Grimdark Setting. Quite easy, and streamlined, eh? Guess it reminds you of something...
The Pieces
Unlike similar games, you don't get to assemble your battleforce. It is probably because the field is rather small (40' by 40'), and both players have 16 pieces. So the starting force is the same for both players (approximated to be a 38 points army).
King: The weakest piece, basically he is on the battlefield to give the army the morale bonus to fight indefinitely. (I think they drug their troops.) He can attack all the squares around him like any normal D&D characters. He isn't worth any points and you must field one to play.
Rook: You have got two of these quite powerful pieces. They are basically castles with cannons on them so they can attack everything in the row and column they are at (but watch out, Cover rules apply for them too). For some unexplained reason they can only attack once in the turn. Funnily enough, they too have to move to the square they attacked. They are said to be worth 5 points.
Bishop: People will tell you that he has similar powers then the Rook. Don't believe them! Basically, they can do everything the Rook can, but only diagonally, which means that half of the battlefield is simply as unreachable to them as if it was in another continent. This is why you get 2 of them, one for the white, and another for the black square. For this, they are apprised(?) to worth 3 points.
Queen: This is easy. She gets to do everything the Rook AND the Bishop combined can. She is the strongest piece of your army, she really doesn't get -4 STR. There is obviously only one Queen. Worth 8 (=5+3) points.
kNight: This is the most controversial piece of the Chess army. People will tell you that it's difficult to keep in mind how they can attack. Lies! It's very easy: a Knight is basically a character with a reach weapon. He can't attack squares next to him and he can attack all the squares 10 feet of him, except the ones which the Queen would be able (most likely balance reasons). This leaves 8 attackable pieces. He can also attack pieces behind cover. Still, for their limited range, they get only 3 points. However, you get to field 2 of them.
Pawn: The backbone of your army, they are the only ones which can move without attacking. You've got 8 of them, and they can move only forward one step in a turn. If they haven't moved or attacked yet, they can move two squares to give them a head start. They however, can't attack forward, only diagonally, forward-left or forward-right, and they can't attack empty squares. They seem quite weak and indeed, they are the unit of point-counting, only worth 1, but this changes when they reach the opponent's end of the battlefield. When they are there, they don't get unusable, they get special powers instead: They will become a queen, a rook, a bishop or a knight (your choice). No you cannot make your pawn into another king, as much sense as it would make to have a backup. This doesn't even take a turn, at the moment they reach the end of the battlefield, you can switch the pieces. In professional play, the arbiter can provide you with the extra piece, in casual play, you can surely use counters. If your opponent claims that you can only use previously captured pieces, either he lies or I do right now.
Army setup
This is also set in stone like battleforce assembling, White can place pieces from a1 to h2, black from h8 to a7.
You place the King and the Queen to the middle of the row closest to the players: Queens d1 and d8, Kings e1 and e8.
Next to them (c1, g1, c8, g8) come the bishops, then the knights and finally the rooks.
The second row (a-h 2 and a-h 7) is filled with the 8 pawns of the players.
The gameplay
First both players roll a die. Whoever rolled higher rejoices; white starts. The players take turns after each other to play.
To maximize tactical combat, you and your opponent can use only one piece in a turn, unlike games where you move all of them in the same turn.
In your turn, you have to attack (or move) with a piece. You can't pass. After all, this battle is lead by The King Himself, we can't just do nothing!
If you can't move but your King isn't threatened right now, the game end in a tie. This is called a stalemate and is often the refuge of the inferior side in the endgame.
Variants
Chess is nothing but a huge ripoff of older and cooler games (Shatranj,Chess with elephants, hell yes) but has still managed to given birth to a few amusing variants. One is commonly called "Bughouse" (like that has to do with anything) or "4 player chess". Most people cry witchcraft at this point, but it actually works. Bughouse is two teams playing against each other so that one member of each team is white and the other is black. (It's racist but what can you do?) Every time your partner takes a piece he hands it to you. Every turn you have you can either move a piece that's already on the board or drop that captured piece on any unoccupied square. Yes, this makes surprise butt sex possible through chess. By playing this way you can annoy your opponent for hours by dropping pawns all over the place as long as you have a partner with half a brain. Usually Bughouse is played on a very limited clock because no one wants to watch slow butt sex.
WARNING: Do not attempt Bughouse unless you are actually good at chess or you are likely to break your brain.
Special rules
Attack of Opportunity
This game is older than D&D so people will like to call it "en passant" instead, and this is easier then the AoO rule of D&D. If an enemy pawn moves 2 pieces (from where he started), and it arrives right next to (1 step to the left or the right) a pawn of yours, you can attack it mid-move (as if it only moved 1 square). The attack will be successful and your pawn moves to the square the other pawn was at the time of the AoO, as usual. However, doing so will take your next turn so you don't have to do that and until you use up your next turn, you'll have time to decide to do that.
Castling
If you think that your King is too exposed, you can "castle" him by moving the King two squares toward the Rook you want to use for this maneuver, and immediately placing the castle to the far side of the king. It only takes 1 turn and thus, is a really powerful move. However, this has multiple conditions:
The King and the Rook you want to use didn't attack previously
There are no pieces between the Rook and the King
The King isn't threatened and he doesn't move through threatened squares (we assume that in older editions all pieces got AoOs against the King and this move was forbidden because of the Brutality Rule). Of course you cannot move him onto a threatened square either. These rules don't apply to the Rook.
To munchkins: The King and the Rook must be on the same row, you cannot castle with a pawn-rook.
Professional players claim that Chess is serious business so they invented a lot of extra rules like this football (I won't call it soccer!) throw-in rule: "At the moment of delivering the ball, the thrower must face the field of play, have both feet on the ground on or outside the touch line, and use both hands to deliver the ball from behind and over his head." - unneeded rules for the sake of penalizing the other player. Seriously: 310 words just about the shit you gotta do when TOUCHING the pieces. I won't 1d4ise these, so go to The Other Wiki and see for yourself.
If any of the rules aren't clear for you, why the fuck are you reading a wiki about this? There's a goddamn store in my neighbourhood that sells ONLY books about chess. It's been done to death; there's probably entire shelves about chess at your local library.
