Vikings: Difference between revisions
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(I don't know much about Fólkvangr and I don't know if there is a way to engineer your death so you get to pick if you go to Fólkvangr or Valhalla) |
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'''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, the British Isles, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, unlike [[knight|the heavy cavalry jerks that were taking over Europe]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy. Once they were allied, they started going soft, so to counteract that conquered Saxony and helped form England. Some of them even got down to Sicily. | '''Vikings''' were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, the British Isles, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, unlike [[knight|the heavy cavalry jerks that were taking over Europe]]. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy. Once they were allied, they started going soft, so to counteract that conquered Saxony and helped form England. Some of them even got down to Sicily. | ||
Vikings belived that when they died in battle (Perferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla, where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!'''. That said, it was still a mostly okay place to go, with all fish you could eat and then some. Which can make it very nice if you like fish. | Vikings belived that when they died in battle (Perferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla (or Fólkvangr, which probably isn't as cool, but most people ignore that), where they would chug booze, [[List of /tg/ Cuisine|eat all the meat and cheese they wanted]], and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! '''EVER!'''. That said, it was still a mostly okay place to go, with all fish you could eat and then some. Which can make it very nice if you like fish. | ||
Vikings are some of the closest that the real world has ever had to [[dwarves]], but they should not be confused as such. While they had a penchant for axes and could use anything, [[Dwarf Fortress|including body parts and broken furniture]], as a weapon, Vikings were just unspeakably awesome humans (they couldn't handle as much booze as a dwarf, though only just). Vikings that [[Toothless Dragon|rode Dragons]] even more so. Vikings are not to be confused with [[barbarian]]s either, despite any combination with the former resulting in awesome. [[Warriors of chaos|Vikings are also notable for pledging themselves to Chaos]] and becoming [[Space Wolves|werewolf supersoldiers]]. | Vikings are some of the closest that the real world has ever had to [[dwarves]], but they should not be confused as such. While they had a penchant for axes and could use anything, [[Dwarf Fortress|including body parts and broken furniture]], as a weapon, Vikings were just unspeakably awesome humans (they couldn't handle as much booze as a dwarf, though only just). Vikings that [[Toothless Dragon|rode Dragons]] even more so. Vikings are not to be confused with [[barbarian]]s either, despite any combination with the former resulting in awesome. [[Warriors of chaos|Vikings are also notable for pledging themselves to Chaos]] and becoming [[Space Wolves|werewolf supersoldiers]]. | ||
Revision as of 18:25, 14 August 2013
Vikings were Scandinavian people from the 8th to 11th century, a period in which societies based in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, making use of their long-ships set forth to trade and colonize areas including Northern France, the British Isles, Russia, Iceland, Greenland and even reached North America (though the settlements they set up there did not last). They also made a habit of bathing and washing their hands frequently, unlike the heavy cavalry jerks that were taking over Europe. They only stopped when France, of all countries, rolled a nat 20 on Diplomacy by offering Normandy. Once they were allied, they started going soft, so to counteract that conquered Saxony and helped form England. Some of them even got down to Sicily.
Vikings belived that when they died in battle (Perferably in a totally fuck-awesome way) they would go to a place called Valhalla (or Fólkvangr, which probably isn't as cool, but most people ignore that), where they would chug booze, eat all the meat and cheese they wanted, and (if that actually managed to get dull) participate in massive murderfests only to be fully healed the next day and ready to do it all over again. On the other hand, if they died in bed or in a totally lame way (such as AIDs or cancer) they would instead go to a totally boring place called Hel where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED! EVER!. That said, it was still a mostly okay place to go, with all fish you could eat and then some. Which can make it very nice if you like fish.
Vikings are some of the closest that the real world has ever had to dwarves, but they should not be confused as such. While they had a penchant for axes and could use anything, including body parts and broken furniture, as a weapon, Vikings were just unspeakably awesome humans (they couldn't handle as much booze as a dwarf, though only just). Vikings that rode Dragons even more so. Vikings are not to be confused with barbarians either, despite any combination with the former resulting in awesome. Vikings are also notable for pledging themselves to Chaos and becoming werewolf supersoldiers.
The Vikings have also finally gotten their own TV show starring Vladimir Kullich.
Vikings aren't known for being nice, for a good reason. During their raiding paries, they would steal anything that wasn't nailed down. if it was nailed down, they'd burn it, and if they couldn't burn it, they'd FUCK it!
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