Ulthuan: Difference between revisions
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But then Chaos came and fucked everything royally up. | But then Chaos came and fucked everything royally up. | ||
The elves, who like children, had never had to do stressful up to this point, suddenly found themselves being raped from every corner by monsters from the worst pits of imagination. Seriously Slenderman wishes he could be this scary and desperately writes to the Chaos Gods to be adopted into some small position in their armies (they have yet to decide who is going to reply to this whining). Anyway, the Old Ones were gone and the Lizardmen had their hands full just surviving so it fell to the elves to defend themselves | The elves, who like children, had never had to do stressful up to this point, suddenly found themselves being raped from every corner by monsters from the worst pits of imagination. Seriously Slenderman wishes he could be this scary and desperately writes to the Chaos Gods to be adopted into some small position in their armies (they have yet to decide who is going to reply to this whining). Anyway, the Old Ones were gone and the Lizardmen had their hands full just surviving so it fell to the elves to defend themselves. Led by Aenarion, the most manly elf ever and homie to Khaine, and his trusted right hand merlin-like character Caledor, the elves managed to beat back the daemons for a time and retake their island. However Chaos could not be defeated and the daemon forces gathering would overwhelm any defences the elves could muster. In the end Caledor enacted a desperate plan to create a giant whirlpool of magic to siphon away the chaos energies the daemons used to exist in the world (think of pulling the plug out to drain the bath after you've used it). While Caledor and his mages did this Aenarion and his armies fought to defend the ritual and the elf king and his noble dragon steed faced a greater daemon from each of the four gods of chaos. With a manly ffffuuuccckkkkk yooouuuuu Aenarion kicked all their puny asses and managed to defend the site before dying, saving the world, the elves and most importantly of all the setting for future games of warhammer to be played. | ||
For a while after that peace reigned and the elves did much to expand their power and build good relationships with the dwarfs. But Malekith, the son of Aenarion and some slutty hooker, felt jealous he wasn't on the throne and decided not to enjoy all the wealth and pleasure he had but to fuck everything up his dad had fought for. Secretly sponsoring his mother Morthai's pleasure cults dedicated to Slaanesh, chaos god of pleasure who had taken advantage of the elves' hedonistic side, he created enough disorder and unheavel in the elf realms that when the time came he overthrew the current phoenix king and attempted to gain the favour of the head elf god asyuran by stepping into his sacred flame like his father had done. | |||
Old Asyuran though could smell a bad egg a mile away and as soon as Malekith stepped into the flame the god's heavenly palace smelled worse then a latrine. Irked at the thought of how expensive the cleaning bill was going to be, Asyuran got rid of Malekith the best way how and made him into a BBQ. Alas like anything bad news Malekith survived (barely) and later came back badder then ever with armour fused onto his skin, turning him into a more dangerous being then before and a walking advertisement for plastic surgery everywhere. Leading his followers the Dark Elves, he made war with the High Elves to take control of Ulthuan. When it was clear he was slowly losing the war, unlike any competent military commander who would think to retreat and try again later, he tried to unbind Caledor's mystic bathplug whirlpool thinking the chaos daemons would make good allies. Obviously at this point any sanity he had | |||
He engineered the war of the beard between the high elves and dwarfs |
Revision as of 18:19, 14 September 2013
Ulthuan, land of the elves, of flower picking, jam making and general loveliness.
Not really actually, as the continent has been at war and besieged for centuries and the residents are in a racial decline into extinction, bought on by low childbirth and deaths through warfare. Not helping is a egotistical outlook on life and a sense of smug superiority.
Of course this all rather fits in with the Warhammer grimdark we all love and have come to expect.
Introduction
Ulthuan is the original elf kingdom created by the old ones and gifted to the elves at the dawn of their race. The old ones made separate environments for each of the races they created (elves, dwarfs, men, etc.) and whether they intended the young races to mingle is unknown. What is known it was a golden age where the elves grew numberous, where they learned art and culture and their land was a haven with bounty for all.
But then Chaos came and fucked everything royally up.
The elves, who like children, had never had to do stressful up to this point, suddenly found themselves being raped from every corner by monsters from the worst pits of imagination. Seriously Slenderman wishes he could be this scary and desperately writes to the Chaos Gods to be adopted into some small position in their armies (they have yet to decide who is going to reply to this whining). Anyway, the Old Ones were gone and the Lizardmen had their hands full just surviving so it fell to the elves to defend themselves. Led by Aenarion, the most manly elf ever and homie to Khaine, and his trusted right hand merlin-like character Caledor, the elves managed to beat back the daemons for a time and retake their island. However Chaos could not be defeated and the daemon forces gathering would overwhelm any defences the elves could muster. In the end Caledor enacted a desperate plan to create a giant whirlpool of magic to siphon away the chaos energies the daemons used to exist in the world (think of pulling the plug out to drain the bath after you've used it). While Caledor and his mages did this Aenarion and his armies fought to defend the ritual and the elf king and his noble dragon steed faced a greater daemon from each of the four gods of chaos. With a manly ffffuuuccckkkkk yooouuuuu Aenarion kicked all their puny asses and managed to defend the site before dying, saving the world, the elves and most importantly of all the setting for future games of warhammer to be played.
For a while after that peace reigned and the elves did much to expand their power and build good relationships with the dwarfs. But Malekith, the son of Aenarion and some slutty hooker, felt jealous he wasn't on the throne and decided not to enjoy all the wealth and pleasure he had but to fuck everything up his dad had fought for. Secretly sponsoring his mother Morthai's pleasure cults dedicated to Slaanesh, chaos god of pleasure who had taken advantage of the elves' hedonistic side, he created enough disorder and unheavel in the elf realms that when the time came he overthrew the current phoenix king and attempted to gain the favour of the head elf god asyuran by stepping into his sacred flame like his father had done.
Old Asyuran though could smell a bad egg a mile away and as soon as Malekith stepped into the flame the god's heavenly palace smelled worse then a latrine. Irked at the thought of how expensive the cleaning bill was going to be, Asyuran got rid of Malekith the best way how and made him into a BBQ. Alas like anything bad news Malekith survived (barely) and later came back badder then ever with armour fused onto his skin, turning him into a more dangerous being then before and a walking advertisement for plastic surgery everywhere. Leading his followers the Dark Elves, he made war with the High Elves to take control of Ulthuan. When it was clear he was slowly losing the war, unlike any competent military commander who would think to retreat and try again later, he tried to unbind Caledor's mystic bathplug whirlpool thinking the chaos daemons would make good allies. Obviously at this point any sanity he had
He engineered the war of the beard between the high elves and dwarfs