Toof

The Toof is the standard unit of currency of the Orcs and Goblins of Warhammer Fantasy, and of the Orks of Warhammer 40000. The plural of Toof is Teef, so a rich greenskin can be said to have many teef.

If you haven't guessed it already, the Or(c/k)ish economy is based on teeth (spelled and pronounced "teef" because most greenskins cannot make a "th" sound). Or(c/k)s produce teef constantly throughout their lives, and they always have replacements much like a shark. If a greenskin wants more teef, he simply punches a nearby greenskin in the face and takes a toof or two. This is a fairly risky proposition unless there is a large difference in size between the two greenskins, since an Or(c/k) who objects to losing his teef can punch back. Brawls started in this way help keep the race collectively strong, since brawls for teef need not be fatal (usually).

The consistent difficulty in acquiring teef keeps the currency at a steady value: larger teef are more valuable than smaller teef so fighting Goblins/Grotz for their teef is generally unproductive, meaning that Or(c/k)s must generally take on Or(c/k)s of their own size (or greater) to procure enough teef. They also cannot hoard their teef as they tend to decay after some time, hence, preventing inflation in the greenskin economy. This also means that stockpiling teef is rarely a good investment, as those teef would just decay before they can be spent. Hence, the only way for an Or(c/k) to afford something expensive is to be 'ard enough to bash others of his kind and take their teef. This is one of the contributing factors to why bigger greenskins are almost consistently better equipped than smaller ones.

Ogres and Tyranids are an especially valued source of teeth, the bigger the bastar' it came from the better. Or(c/k)s who have successfully beaten such armies thus tend to be very rich after ripping the teeth out of the mouths of billions of dead 'unz.

Exchange Rates are not well known at this time.

Prices of a few common items

• Squig Pie with Fungus Beer-1 Toof
• Fletch of Arr'er arrowz (roughly twenty)-2-3 Teef
• Bag of Shoota bullets (roughly forty to sixty)-1 to 3 Teef
• Choppa-2 to 12 Teef based on materials used in construction
• Slugga-4 to 15 Teef depending on availability, quality and the available supply of bullets
• Shoota (regular)-8 to 25 Teef
• Stabba-10-30 Teef
• Magic Stabba-50-100 Teef
• Wartrukk, New-100 to 800 Teef
• Wyvern-400-900 Teef

Other Notes on Teef

One reason that Or(c/k)s dislike dealings with Humans a(nd other races in general) is because Humans are socially awkward to Or(c/k)s. They are tiny, determine leadership in the most contrived of ways, and generally shy away from a good scrap (unless you really provoke them); and to an Or(c/k), a Human has pathetic Teef. They are wee little fiddly things, often look flat, and humans tend to be quite protective of them on accounts that Human Teef do not grow back more than once and Humans use them to show social status (and chewing grub). Yet more reasons why Or(c/k)s are the bestest. However, some humans hiring greenskin warbands as mercs for guns, wagons, and anything else that may interest an Or(c/k) is not unheard of and said warbands turning against their employers for more bits or just for fun isn't uncommon either. Goblins have learned that other races value more than Teef, and as such maintain an exchange rate of Teef to gold. Enterprising members of other races can quickly capitalize on this, although as a Goblin's wealth grows he will likely purchase the tools and followers he instinctively desires and realize later that he can turn his newfound strength on his former trading partners and begin a WAAAGH. Ogres, due to their base stupidity and knowledge that gold can bring food (and work can be eating living beings anyway, resulting in a double payment in their eyes) often find themselves marching alongside greenskins and used as living weapons or vanguards.

Not all Teef are made equal, as noted above. But greenskins still technically operate on a bartering system, and one Or(c/k)'s eye for Teef might not be as conservative (or voracious) as the next. Two identical Teef might not buy the same volume of Grog Brand Grog Brew™ at one bar as it will at the next, regardless of availability. Similarly, inflation, deflation, supply and demand, the size difference of the buyer and the seller, the mood of the vender, and even the time of day can affect how much dat fancy new choppa youz been eyein' iz worf. If a lot of Or(c/k)s go rushing in to get a new bike at once, the dealer Mek might set up an auction at dawn that everyone in the camp attends. The price the bike goes for could affect how much a Toof can buy for the rest of the week; and obviously, if there is one stingy Oldboy who hikes his prices because he sells the only motor oil for seven hundred miles, then he will have a band of greenskins banging down his door demanding CHEAP or DEATH!

Greenskins are technically not the only ones who use teef. Sometimes if an Inquisitor or Elector Count wants to get rid of a Chaos infestation, there are some greenskins nearby, and there has recently been a big battle between the guard and the greenskins which the guards won, he may send some men to collect the Teef from the corpses and use them to pay for the greenskins to go attack that Chaos infestation. Or(c/k)s are not all that keen about Humans stealing their kin's Teef, but getting Teef and someone to fight is still a winning combination in an Or(c/k)'s book.

Greenskins also like shiney fings. Some Or(c/k)s (Bad Moonz klan boyz and Freebooterz especially) will decide that something shiny is just as good as a Toof. Or a handful of Teef. Or a whole sack. Said shiny thing is usually Gold, which both looks more colorful than Silver and is heavier to boot. Gold often comes in convenient Coin form when stolen from other races, which looks nicer still and makes handy pendants. While not very tough, Gold can be beaten or plated by even the dumbest slave grot (or the ingenious Black Orcs) into snazzy trinkets or onto weapons and armor (to make them shinier). Mekboyz like gold because it conducts "energee" better than more common metals, proving Mekboyz definitely know what they're talking about, as far as electrical conductivity is concerned. Even in raw Nugget form, Gold holds a clear appeal to Or(c/k)s and Humans alike- and unlike Teef, Gold never rots, and thus can be hoarded in big piles of shiny. Thus, some Or(c/k)s will trade in gold instead of (or in addition to) Teef. This is a risky proposition; while all greenskins know the value of a Toof, some don't care much for Gold, and your bartender might not take that tiny nugget in exchange for his finest brew. However, a Bad Moon will take Gold without a second thought, and a Loota or Blood Axe boy will usually take Gold as well. A gold plated weapon on the other hand, will be worth much more than it's duller counterpart, and will usually be deadlier as well because "it'z a high-kwality piece of flash!" The same goes for armor, trophies, and "lukky bitz". Some Or(c/k)ish tribes and clans believe that gold is lucky, and will attach it to themselves in order to be effective at whatever they attempt.

The Adeptus Orthodontus are known for accidentally increasing the exchange rate of Humie Teef to Ork Teef.