Asdrubael Vect

Asdrubael Vect in all his bitch-getting glory.

And you thought Eldrad was a prick. (This is canon, by the way.)

Asdrubael Vect is the biggest troll to ever walk the 40k universe. He is also a sick fuck.

Vect is the Supreme Lord of the Kabal of the Black Heart and the Pimp Master General of 4chan Commorragh. He spends most of his time plotting how to troll people hundreds of years in the future. Some people even go so far as to say that the Fall was just one big practical joke on his part. Basically, he does it for the lulz.

He's also one really old son of a bitch. Apparently older than a FUCKING GOD! He gives Eldrad penis envy.

He's also a close combat monster on the tabletop, being one of the few characters who can reliably go toe to toe with Abaddon the Despoiler and win, something he shares with Mephiston and the Swarmlord. Entire armies suffer critical existence failure the moment he gets within reach. I mean Jesus Fucking Christ.

Being one of the oldest pricks in history, predating even Eldrad

Asdrubael Vect is bigger than a dick, he's a prick. He is constantly bringing things to an unprecedented level of dickishness allowing himself to steeple his fingers and cackle "Just As Planned!" while, simultaneously, having his cock sucked by his lesbian sex slaves. Yeah, he's just that much of a boss.

In fact the only reason he has managed to last this long is because no one has ever been able to out-prick him. And, considering Commorragh is a place where rape is considered a funny pasttime, that's fucking saying something. There have been numerous occasions where various Archons of other Kabals have tried to assassinate him in order to gain lordship over all of Commorragh. So far Vect has managed to trump each of them in the most dickish ways possible. Just a small example: he planned for the invasion of Commorragh by three Space Marine chapters in order to kill off all of the other major Archons in Commorragh except for himself, ensuring he would be unopposed and unbeatable in the Dark City. He also disposed of one of his rivals, Archon Qu of the Lords of Iron Thron Kabal, by persuading Qu's daughter to betray her father to Vect. If this wasn't enough, said daughter was one of Vect's courtesans. Long story short, Vect was fucking the daughter of one of his rivals and got her to kill them. What a prick!

List of Asdrubael's greatest achievements

•Stole a Salamanders cruiser in order to bait the chapter into attacking Commoragh. The eventual strike force that took the cruiser back had most of the Dark Eldar nobility killed, ensuring Vect ruled unopposed.

•Killing more of his own allies then this other pretty cool guy to be around.

•Being a dick PAST Eldrad and Creed's level.

•Having a pimpinger throne then the Emprah.

•Somehow maintaining control of hordes of crazy Dark panzees without being killed or tortured (or both at the same time) FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND COUNTING.

•Turning devious plots of his rival archons against themselves. Especially if those plots involve daemons.