=Pre-release Rumor Mongering: The Lead Up To Butt-hurt=
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{{MattWard}}
[[File:1304191380926.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Updates EVERYWHERE!....Though now the Necron should be the one telling the fire warrior this.]]
==The Harbinger==
Incidentally, the first sign of the new fluff changes was a Black Library novel called Fall of Damnos. Instead of the usual soulless abominations who just walk forward in silence and shoot you, the Necron PoVs showed off a complex royal hierarchy featuring the Cryptek Ankh's political machinations and various competing and jostling Lords who all have their own ambitions and problems. Most notable is the Necron "afflictions", where Necrons who long for their flesh will go crazy and become Flayed Ones, hunting for new skins. Meanwhile Necrons who go a bit too far towards the machine-end end up mutilating themselves into Destroyers. It's all very wacky, and the Necrons are actually pretty talkative too, where the Lord Tahek Voidbringer has some momentary banter with Tigurius during their battle. There's also Sahtah the Enfleshed, a "Flayer Lord" who happily gallops across the icy world of Damnos in his quest for a new face, and the Undying, a very old Lord who constantly forgets where he is in time. You also get weird shit where Necron Warriors let out metallic cries when they phase out, An abandoned and empty throneroom complete with ornate mirrors and empty throne underground, and the fact that Necrons can open their mouths, shrug, and laugh.
On the one hand, the new fluff from Damnos feels very "[[Tomb Kings]] in Space", however on the other, it does do a decent job of fleshing out the until-this-point C'Tan lackeys a bit (and [[Tomb Kings]] fluff is pretty legit, so ripping it off might not be too bad).
However, according to the new Codex, the Necrons themselves did away with the C'Tan and now do their own thing, employing their former masters as nothing more than genies in bottles.
== A Disturbing Implication ==
[[File:Curse you mat ward.jpg|150px|right|thumb|We're already doomed...
thank you [[Matt Ward]]... thank you...]]
Oh yes, it ''could'' very well be worse alright...
Many years before Matt was the horrifying figure known and loathed the way he is today, he was apparently a Necron player. An old White Dwarf battle report detailed him going up against Ultramarines with his Necrons and getting his ass handed to him. It's easy to see this is where his descent into the blue, white and gold abyss began. However, the truth is likely a far darker one that goes simply beyond the lines of "Hey, what Marines were you using in that game? They were pretty cool..."
His last Space Marine codex had the Blood Angels befriending and fighting alongside Necrons with little to no reason whatsoever. He scarcely ever mentions anything about them otherwise.
Suddenly a little dark voice begins to whisper sinister nothings in your head. Whispers of revelations about absurdities that are uncomfortably plausible given this manchild. Ward spends the last couple years making Space Marines the army faction to go to- the perfect badasses everyone loves. With each codex he makes them more and more ludicrous, more and more powerful till they are all the people know and care for. He lets them sit atop GW's throne of money, basking in their glory.
Then without warning, he pulls the tarp off his final project- the codex Necrons. Insanely and skubtastically blown out of proportion with pants-on-head retarded powers none can match, the Necrons shove the smurfs off their spotlight. Marine players sell out their entire armies just to afford the ridiculous prices on Ward's new bastard creation, pushing the Marines into a dark corner of neglect where ironically the Necrons once hunched imprisoned for nearly a decade.
The other writers will all unite to attempt to thwart Ward's scheme, but it will be far too late. At this point, a statue of a Necron Warrior will stand at the front of the GW HQ on the same pedestal a Space Marine once stood proudly. Ward will be jerking off to Lolicron in his fortress of solitude, now located in the middle of the Dead Sea, laughing like a little child who just cheated his way to victory in a game of Candy Land.
TL;DR: Matt Ward is the fucking Deceiver, and all shall weep as his retardation turns out to be a loathing, evil tactical genius that goes off the charts. Even the Necron players themselves, who realize they've been used after they become the peak of GW standards at the price of ever being remotely likable ever again.
On October 14th, Beasts of War provided leaked images of the new Necron miniatures. The Necrons have undergone a transformation: they have gone from the transgenic crop of Terminator meets [[cubes|Cube2:Hypercube]], and become more "TOMB KINGS. IN SPESS!" than they ever were before.
And so it begins: we got [[skub]] with a chance of shitstorms in today's forecast and I'll leave this right here for others to give you the details. Bring your umbrella.
They've also been ripping off the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica with their new fliers. 'Cus we all know that GW can't think up anything themselves <s>nowadays</s> ever.
And the Pariahs <s>are gone from the list</s> have been renamed Lych Guard (what a shock; another elite unit is given the suffix 'guard') and nerfed/buffed to the Nth Degree. If you had any doubt of who's writing this codex before now, then this should settle it once and for all. Damn you Matt Ward for getting rid of the Pariahs!
In summation: GW has killed all we knew about the Necrons, replacing it with [[C.S. Goto]]'s rendition of Egyptian Alien Space Robots (who built the pyramids, you know).
Boo hoo hoo I'm a huge faggot who hates anything different.
== POETRY AND SHIT ==
[[File:Rising.jpg|300px|right]]
The heavens cry upon the tarnished earth
In search for its lost and forgotten spirit
Humanity had long left its homeland
Leaving a hollow shell of its dreams
A lost soul remains in purgatory
Forever encased in a tomb of metal
As light dawns on the world once more
Time itself would be reset
holy crap that sounds gay, where is it from?
==Reasons to be a Necron==
* You never die!
* You have arguably the best dakka in the whole game
* You look completely badass
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIj7gIDFDe4 Remember how awesome General Grievous was the first time he appeared?] That's how necron overlords fight in fluff, up to the point they could bring low heavyweights like [[Ultramarines|captain Cato Sicarius]], or 2 CSM lords in terminator armour and their retinue at ''the same time'' if "Fall of Damnos" or the [[Word Bearers]] novels are any indication.
=See Also=
=See Also=
Revision as of 09:52, 11 November 2012
This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.
This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.
>
Oh oh, you have been confronted by a 9ft homicidal robot, I know, let's just stand there like a dumbass because surely his vision must be based on movement!
Necrons, also known by some as Noobcrons, are the Tomb King expys of the Warhammer 40,000 universe. (Which rounds off the rest of the 40K universe being Fantasy races.... IIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE.)
Up until 5th Ed., they were supposed to be slaves to star-eating vampire demigods who eventually got hooked on souls and used their slave legions of silent metal skeletons to harvest the souls of every sentient race in the galaxy.
Then the Matt Ward codex came along and WOOPS, NO, turns out they killed/imprisoned their vampire gods! Cause screw those commie bastards! That's what happens when you screw a zombimurderbot.
Gameplay-wise, some used to consider the Noobcrons to have been unduly OP during their introduction. A respectable amount of evidence can be gathered to grant credence to this viewpoint.
The rapid change in fluff between the 5th edition codex and its predecessor is controversial, to put it lightly, and while both versions of the Necrons' background have their fans, many would agree that the retconning was drastic and heavy-handed.
The Necrons received a long awaited codex update in 2011... from the hated Matt Ward. After having the Necrons and Blood Angelssecret lovers that the universe was not yet ready to understand cooperate against the 'nids, after which the noobcrons proceeded to let the fucking SPEHSS MEHREENS get away without raep, fans worried that the Great Taint would spread to the robots, who had already suffered from GW's neglect, like every non-Space Marine faction.
UPDATE: As of the 6th edition rulebook, Necrons and Blood Angels can form an "Unholy Alliance". For reference, Necrons can form the exact same alliance with the Black Templars. This implies that the whole scenario with the Blood Angels and the 'Nids was part of the then-upcoming Necron fluff change wherein the Necrons went from omnicidal kill bots to an actual empire capable of politics and forming alliances.
Overall, the codex was actually... fairly decent, with bitch-worthy fluff kept to a minimum (though the way it was introduced was bitch worthy in of itself, and the Necrons possessing reliable time travel raises a lot of questions) and the crunch being balanced, high tier but not OP. This had lead to the crazy but surprisingly plausible theory that Matt Ward was really a Necron fanboy all along, and after losing to an Ultramarines player, decided to discredit the Space marines by writing several exceedingly shitty codexes for them, and then turn around and make a respectable update for the Necrons as part of a labyrinthian plot to get back at the Space Marines. And everyone neglects to mention that the update introduced a device that can instantly destroy any star in the galaxy per whim of the user. Wat.
But there is other good news. With the Necrons now being somewhat popular, they are about to get a new slew of Forgeworld loving, thanks to the announcement that they are scheduled to be featured in Imperial Armor 12 along with the Minotaurs Chapter Space Marines (meaning we may finally get Medusa V Tomb Stalkers and Megaliths, so we don't have to rely on Pylon, Scarab, Barge, Warscythe, and Heat-ray spam to down Titans).
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This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.
