Malal

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NOTE: Some sources may suggest that Malal does in fact exist, although the facts are not certain, and any & all evidence is under dispute. This article presupposes that Malal exists, and all statements should be considered theoretical. and heretical!

404 ERROR! PAGE NOT FOUND! THE PAGE YOU WERE LOOKING FOR WAS EITHER DELETED OR MISSING! - The Script of Malal on Himself

The greatest trick Malal ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Introduction

What Malal might look like...if he actually wants us to believe that he exists in the first place.

Followers of Malal are kind of like Chaos Agnostics. They doubt that anything exists, including the Emperor, God, Chaos itself, and you. Especially you. The Chaos Space Marines chapter known as the "Sons of Malice", with their alternating black/white colour scheme are as likely to kill Chaos Forces as anyone else on the field, except for each other.

"...and he that went before now came last, and that which was white and black and all direction was thrown against itself. Grown mightily indignant at the words of the Gods, Malal did turn his heart against them and flee into the chambers of space . . . And no man looked to Malal then, save those that serve that which they hate, who smile upon their misfortune, and who bear no love save for the damned. At such times as a warrior's heart turns to Malal, all Gods of Chaos grow fearful, and the laughter of the Outcast God fills the tomb of space . . ."

-- from The Great Book of Despair.

So anyway, Malal, when he was actually canon, was the Chaos God of batshit loony self-destructive urges; Chaos battling Chaos. This also made him the God of paradoxes, radical Inquisitors and the like trying to turn Chaos against itself, and the outcast god since he was trying to buttfuck every other Chaos God and their followers. The thing about Malal was that even though he was one of the biggest personifications of Chaos there could be he constantly tried to destroy Chaos and if he were ever successful in ending Chaos he would be destroyed as well. Not that this pants-on head crazy a-hole cared.

Since Malal was supposed to be the antitheses of Chaos he had only a few champions, all of whom were supposed to be stupid powerful and would go around bitch-slapping other Chaos champions with their anti-daemon daemon-axes of doom while wearing warp-resistant warp armor and shouting praises to the Dark God Malal and death to Chaos.... The servants of Malal fight in utter silence, but that makes them way badass than the rest of chaos. So yeah. because of this followers of Malal have to already be balls to the wall nuts and have superhuman will. Malal's trademarks were black and white bisecting armor and a horned skull equally bisected black and white. His signature weapon was the dreadaxe which was a daemon weapon made out of a daemon that hates daemons. you can still find examples of this weapon in the CSM 3.5 dex and in Your Spiritual Liege's wonderful fluff assassin of a Codex: Grey Knights.

Malal has a fortress in the Chaos wastes where he captures and trolls Greater Daemons by trapping them for all eternity unable to do whatever it is that they embody. This one Greater Daemon of Slaanesh he has, for example, is caught in a field that nullifies all sensation so it can't indulge in cocaine fueled sex parties with Doomrider, thus eternally pissing of said daemon forever in the only way that works. He also put a great unclean one in a vat of febreze; blinded and binded a Lord of Change and put him in a cage that never changes; and locked a Bloodthirster in a zen garden.

But back in 2nd Ed. or something Geedubs lost the IP for Malal when the writer that came up with him left so they had to replace him with "Malice", who is essentially the same guy but with a lot less screen time. The trade-off is that he gets his own Chaos marine warband the Sons of Malice.

According to Lexicanum, unlike his brother god, he is capable of entering the materium through demonic possession if his followers had enough sacrifice, but that won't change much, because firstly he would like to get even, kill or at least gravely humiliate other chaos gods and their followers. And, no matter how powerful he will ever be, he always be alone against everyone he doesn't like, which says a lot about the probable outcome.

Malal is also apparently bad at art.

The Truth

The truth is that someday in the 36th Millennium that the other four gods got really sick of Malal's constant interference in their plans. While Malal was at the time the strongest individual god, the other four knew that he couldn't deal with them all at once. So Tzeentch gathered the other gods and formulated a plan to deal with Malal once and for all. So one day Nurgle knocked on Malal's door and asked Malal to step outside, at this point Tzeentch signalled the others to attack and the other Chaos Gods jumped out from behind their cover and beat Malal to death. It required about a century of constant beating, but eventually Malal died. Upon his death the other Four Chaos gods celebrated for one thousand years now that the dick cheese was out of the way.

Sadly Malal's bastard offspring Malice and Zuvassin managed to slip away.

Also, GW's horribly retarded legal team lost the right to use Malal, hence the "the other gods was disappoint" retcon. Which is also disgustingly contradictory, because one source says that Khorne is the mightiest god, and another says Tzeentch, and now there's this bullshit. Actually it says Tzeentch is the most successful of the gods, not the strongest - that's because he's the smartest and most cunning of them.

However, it might be possible that Malal/Malice may just be an Alias for the Emperor, working incognito, looking into ways he can ultimately end the four-fold scourge of the Warp. It might be possible he would use "Malal/Malice", using the powers of the Dark Gods against them. That includes using the Sons of Malice(Grey Knights?). Just as soon as Kaldor stops sniffin' Warp Dust.

A final theory is that he's become a sneaky git and painted himself purple to wait out until the time is right to hit the big four just hard enough to finish them (considering the current state of Daemons on the tabletop, that might not be too far off), and in the meantime manipulates Orks into fighting each other by pretending to be Gork, then Mork (or Mork then Gork?) to draw them into arguments while causing the Imperium to weaken itself by BLAMMING everyone capable of uplifting the condition of man. He probably got the idea sometime after he left a giant sword for Farsight to eventually find, but before he altered Macha's biochemistry to amp up her hormone output.

In fact, the truth is much more terrifying. Malal in fact managed to travel back through time to the present, where he is now trying to manifest. This is the source of the Zalgo legends across the internet.

Getting Malal on the Table

Ironically (or appropriately depending on how you look at it) one of the best ways to represent 40k Malal dedicated Chaos Marines would be to use the Grey Knights codex. Think about it; elite marine units with sick powers and a plethora of daemon killing hardware, small army sizes, radical Ordo Malleus Inquisitors with daemonblades and daemonhosts and more. Take a Draigo-Paladin spam list and use 'counts as' Chaos terminators for a nasty Chaos smashing elite warband of Malal followers and lolstomp your opponents into the ground. Alternatively you can use C:CSM if you aren't a cheesed-out 12 year old or Daemonhunters vet. As for Warhammer Fantasy, call him Malice and run Warriors of Chaos models on Skaven bases. Nothing like blowing yourself AND the enemy up to say "It doesn't matter".

Daemons of Malal

As Games Workshop have proven themselves to be a bunch of IP abusing faggots, it once again falls to /tg/ to get anything done.

Lesser Daemon of Malal

Hook Horrors

Have you ever lamented how you always wanted to put together a Malal themed army, but you didn't, because it wouldn't be worth it without the proper daemons? Well, now you no longer have a fucking excuse. Grown mightily indignant at Malal's lack of presence on the tabletop, several anons conspired together to bring you this. We even found models for it; they're at the bottom, listed as Hook Horrors. Play-testing would be vary much apreciated.

110 Points

Name	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld	Sv
Lesser Daemon of Malal	4	3	3	3	1	4	1	7	6+
Special Daemon of Malal	4	3	3	3	1	4	2	7	6+

UNIT TYPE: Infantry.

UNIT COMPOSITION: 10 Lesser Daemons of Malal.

SPECIAL RULES: Daemon of Malal (Daemon, Hatred (Chaos), Preferred Enemy (Everything!)), Daemonic Instability, Deep Strike, Melee attacks are Rending.

OPTIONS: May include up to 10 additional Lesser Daemons of Malal - 11 pts/model. Other options are the same as for other Lesser Daemon troops.

Beast of Malal

Malal's Paradoxes of Pandemonium

~50? Points

Name	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld	Sv
Beast of Malal	?	?	?	?	?	?	?	?	?

UNIT TYPE: Beast.

UNIT COMPOSITION: ~3(?) Beasts of Malal

SPECIAL RULES: Daemon of Malal (Daemon, Hatred (Chaos), Preferred Enemy (Everything!)), Daemonic Instability, Deep Strike, Very Bulky, [GIMMICK].

Greater Daemon of Malal

Guardian of Contradictions

190 points.

Name	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld	Sv
Greater Daemon of Malal	6	6	6	6	5	6	5	9	-

UNIT TYPE: Monstrous Creature (Character).

DAEMONIC GIFTS: Greater Etherblade

SPECIAL RULES: Daemon of Malal (Daemon, Hatred (Chaos), Preferred Enemy (Everything!)), Daemonic Instability, Deep Strike, Psyker (Mastery Level 1)

PSYKER: A Greater Daemon of Malal generates his powers from the TELEKINESIS and ANARCHY disciplines

LORD OF ANARCHY: If your army includes a Greater Daemon of Malal, Daemon Princes from this codex with the Daemon of Malal upgrade are Heavy Support choices rather than HQ choices.

OPTIONS: Greater Daemons of Malal have the same standard upgrade options as other greater daemons.

Followers of Malal

The Alpha Legion and their two primarch No such legion nor primarchs exist!

Scottish Koreans

Screaming Mimes

Uncle Ruckus

Miley Cyrus

Irreligious Word Bearers

Ronald McDonald

Ultramarines that deserve to live (except for Titus and Sidonas)

Vegemonster

Khornate Sorcerers

Tyranid allies

Ork mathematicians

Matt ward Fans

Chaos centurions and knights

Global warming

Pacifist Marines

Black Templar Librarians

Celibate and Sober Slaanesh Daemon

Cheap GW models

Egalitarian Eldar

Asexual and Altruistic Dark Eldar

Germophobic Plaguebearers

Ahzek Ahriman DOUBLEHERESY!*BLAM*

Two-Face

Mikhail Bakunin

Justin Bieber's popular twin brother