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| [[Image:Sturnn.JPG|thumb|right|Grit Incarnate. (if you look closely you'll notice his entire face is a bulletproof callus)]]
| | '''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL). |
| {{Topquote|To each of us falls a task. And all the emperor requires of us Guardsmen is that we stand the line and we die fighting. It is what we do best. We die standing.|General Sturnn in [[Dawn of War]]: [[Dawn of War#Winter Assault|Winter Assault]].}}
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| Not to be confused with [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Bridges Jeff Bridges].
| | They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018. |
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| '''General Sturnn''' AKA Grit Incarnate or Grit made Manifest, is the commander of the Cadian 412th Regiment in the [[Dawn_of_War#Winter Assault|Dawn of War: Winter Assault]] game.
| | == CHANNELS == |
| | The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion. |
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| Unlike the other Imperial Generals in the succeeding [[Dawn of War|Dawn of War]] games, Sturnn is actually [[Old Ones|old]] (rather than looking in his early 40s), and looks like he's been into a fight or ten. He and his Regiment were ordered to secure the Emperor-class [[Titan#Warhammer 40,000|Titan]], Dominatus, on Lorn V, left behind when the Planet was lost to [[Chaos]] Forces.
| | == EVENTS == |
| | The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS. |
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| The main difference between him and General [[Vance Motherfucking Stubbs]] is that Sturnn's got the one thing that separates the Man-General from the Boy-General: Grit. His idea of a planetary beachhead against super-human, power armour-wearing chaos worshipers is to personally land with a single [[Commissar]] and 6 squads of [[Imperial Guard| Imperial Guardsmen]] right on the doorsteps of a god damn Chaos-held Defense Fortress. His choice of tactics might be connected with the fact that since he possesses a gritted, roached out voice, he possibly drinks himself to sleep at night, but that's just how he does things (although he's got so much grit he probably doesn't even need to sleep).
| | In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019. |
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| He also doesn't feel the need to wear a golden breastplate, have a [[Plasma#Plasma Pistol|Plasma Pistol]], super-duper powerclaws, bodyguards, optical bionics, [[Pauldrons|Over-sized Pauldrons]], fancy golden boots or a shiny new cape. He only wears his gritted face, cheap powerclaws, forearm storm [[Bolter]] and his Medal covered Imperial Guard uniform, which offers good protection against anything, especially against [[Eldar|Space ''fairy'']] trickery and guile. The sheer amount of medals he has gained literally gives him about as much armor as a [[Space Marine]] [[Terminator]]. All of these have been earned from incredible feats of manliness, such as [[Commissar Yarrick|killing an Ork Warboss by beating him to death with his own severed arm]], or [[Doomrider|single-handedly holding off a Tyranid Hive Fleet while pleasuring three women]].
| | == HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES == |
| | Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019. |
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| His Manly Grit has earned him praises from [[Space Marines]], right after defeating a bunch of [[Necrons]] who just woke up and had a bad case of the morning blues, [[Ork|Orks]] looking for trouble and the Chaos forces on Lorn V.
| | * GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO |
| | * GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE) |
| | * GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD |
| | * GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN |
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| Sadly, he did not make it to [[Dawn of War#Dark Crusade|Dawn of War: Dark Crusade]], being replaced by some [[General Lucas Alexander|snot-nosed Boy-General]], who laughably tried to imitate his grittiness by finding '''A SINGLE ARM OF SOME RANDOM TITAN WHICH WAS JUST LYING 5 FEET FROM HIS SUPER SECURE AND OUT OF REACH LANDING ZONE.''' That General was Named [[Governor-Militant Lukas Alexander]], if only because Sturnn was elsewhere, possibly busy killing some other enemy of the [[Imperium|Imperium of Man]] with but a glance of his Grit-filled stare.
| | GRAND DAD IS LOVE |
| | GRAND DAD IS LIFE |
| | GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI |
| | FOR MEMES |
| | FOR VINESAUCE |
| | AND FOR |
| | SILVAGUNNER |
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| ==Fate==
| | [[Category: Meme]][[Category: GRAND DAD]][[Category: GRAND DAD Fantasy]] |
| Some would have you believe that Sturnn died in Winter Assault and the Eldar ending is [[Canon|canon]], but a piece of Imperial Guard wargear in Retribution outright states that General Sturnn did lead his men to the Imperator Titan. In Eldar ending, however, the Imperial Guard ''did'' retake the Titan, but it exploded after overheating, therefore killing everyone near it (except the pointy-ears faggots who had departed back into the [[Webway]]). <s>Yeap, Sturnn included, so he is totally dead</s> His adamantium balls are graded at 0.7 [[Sly Marbo|Sly Marbos]] on the wardian plot-armour scale, as such he is easily capable of surviving something as trivial as an exploding Titan.
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| However, the FFG [[Only War]] sourcebook ''Hammer of the Emperor'' states that General Sturnn was betrayed by [[Taldeer]] and the Eldar <del>and "cut down in a hail of shuriken fire."</del> {{BLAM|'''BLAM!''' '''HERESY!!!'''}} ''DID YOU NOT JUST READ WHAT IT SAID ABOUT HIS MEDALS?''
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| Then there's that Eldar campaign intro in Dark Crusade where the narrator hints that the Eldar pitted the Imperial Guard against the Necrons on Lorn V. However, this piece of dialogue only raises more questions than answers (typical). However, there's also the Imperial Guard campaign where Alexander's secondary goal (besides 'liberating' the planet) is hunting down Taldeer and taking her out, and we don't mean on a <del>romantic</del> HERETICAL date. She must've done something ''big''... say, blowing up an irreplaceable war machine that could single-handedly turn the tide of an entire campaign?
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| Really, who knows. The majority of evidence points to an Eldar victory on Lorn V, but it's highly unlikely that Sturnn would allow himself to be killed by any amount of Space Fairy faggotry, and frankly any notions to that are ridiculous and [[Extra Heresy|extra heretical]].
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| Actually, it is quite possible that he originally died in Winter Assault (As evidenced by the Taldeer hunt in DC), but then Relic retconned it into him winning (As evidenced by the Retribution Wargear). That, or the Eldar victory had elements of the Imperial Guard victory (as in Sturnn survived and got the Titan Dominatus, albeit heavily damaged due to [[Wraithbone]] shenanigans).
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| Speaking from an entirely hypothetical perspective, it would in many ways make sense if [[Gorgutz]] killed him, as he and Taldeer are the only characters that carry over, and it directly shows Sturnn being pulverized by Gorgutz, so this is entirely possible.
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| Though this too seems unlikely as Gorgutz' only real tactic seems to be runnz away from all dem otha gits. <s>Some Ork warboss amirite?</s><span style='color:green;font-size:115%'> '''*WHAM!*''' Shut it yeh git!</span>
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| This also only happens in the disorder campaign of Winter Assault, which is definitely non-canon (aside from Gorgutz smashing Lord [[Crull]] and claiming his head).
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| And if you STILL think he isn't already badass enough, just listen to him [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVnJH2scIVk address his men.]
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| {{IG-Characters}}
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| [[Category: Dawn of War]] | |
THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY. Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are not official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).
They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.
CHANNELS
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.
EVENTS
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene. These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't! They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.
In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.
HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.
- GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
- GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
- GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
- GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER