Fantasy Armor: Difference between revisions

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== The Warhammer Line ==
== The Warhammer Line ==


As a side note, if your armor is as or more ridiculous than Warhammer's (either [[Warhammer 40,000|40k]] or [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle|Fantasy]]), expect to be mocked. Yes, this means you, generic anime-inspired MMORPG[1], and you, [[That Guy]] who uses a screenshot from said MMORPG as his character portrait.
As a side note, if your armor is as or more ridiculous than Warhammer's (either [[Warhammer 40,000|40k]] or [[Warhammer Fantasy Battle|Fantasy]]), expect to be mocked. Yes, this means you, generic <s>anime-inspired</s> MMORPG (western ones are just as bad in the over-the-top blingey and overdone armors department, looking at you [[World of Warcraft|WoW]]), and you, [[That Guy]] who uses a screenshot from said MMORPG as his character portrait.
 
<small>[1] While non-anime inspired MMORPGs can be just as bad (in particular, about overbling), the anime stuff adds in frequent "fanservice > protection" and really bad [[waifu]]/husbando-baiting, which when combined with exhaustion with Weeaboos makes the result even easier to mock then Warhammer (where the fanservicey under-armored units that aren't Demons of some kind are also noted to have all the endurance under fire of cheap tissue paper) or World of Warcraft.</small>


==See Also==
==See Also==

Revision as of 03:39, 11 July 2018

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This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Fantasy armor has a long and noble tradition of awesomeness and lively debates. Many kind of fantastic armor, such as sexy bear skin speedos, chain mail bikinis, massive codpieces, ridiculously massive suits of plate mail, armor made of gold or even gems, and other overly elaborate forms of armor are all standard equipment for adventuring parties. Threads dedicated to fabulous and ridiculous armors are a common sight on /tg/, and discussions regarding people's favorite type of armor are also a common way to pass the time, although doing so has a risk of starting an ugly political debate over issues best not discussed on this page.

Most agree that even the most over-the-top armor designs aren't a huge problem for anything other than historically accurate settings, and in terms of the crunch it simply doesn't matter, as the stats and the design do not need to be linked in any way - after all, the key word is "fantasy".

Common Types

As you may see with the images to the side, fantasy doesn't need its armor to be logically sound. Due to this, armor design is usually done more to appease the eye than the mind. Thus, armor design and usage that tends to be over-the-top usually leans on the following styles:

Living Fortress

The character is so excessively armored with large pieces of armor that you must wonder how they can even walk unassisted without falling over. Usually done to give characters a stoic and/or intimidating look. Issues such as avoiding heatstroke and being unable to go to the toilet in that armor are usually sidestepped in fiction (irl these two downsides were often part of the price of wearing this much armor), but then those issues are almost never addressed in fiction anyway.

Bare Minimum

Not an armor type, so much as a lack thereof. Characters in this style typically wear just enough to keep them from being classified as naked (think "Red Sonja" and you'll get the idea). Traditionally given to characters who favor speed over protection (or fanservice, depending on the setting), it is also sometimes given to those who use some kind of supernatural protection against damage to supplement their armor or simply happen to be so good at withstanding/dodging attacks that they don't normally need to worry about being hurt in the first place. The average magic user is a good example of this, given that the traditional wizard robes are just natural fiber clothing and aren't usually much better in terms of their protective value (enchantments and other forms of magical protection notwithstanding).

It should be noted that the "almost naked female armor" is not actually as common as some people want you to believe. The worst offenders are usually fantasy pinups and JRPGs (and in the latter case, often applies to both men and women); for tabletop RPGs and most videogames, they're actually somewhat uncommon.

Flash to the Extreme

The character's armor is excessively decorated and designed in an over-the-top manner (ranging from bright colors to it being encrusted in precious gems and metals) that they basically scream: "walking target" and/or "mobile treasure chest" when out into the field. Usually given to the upper hierarchy of a setting to denote either their position or wealth. Large spikes count as an "evil" version of this; while they can make a villain look intimidating, they'd also be getting in the way, either poking yourself or your allies constantly.

Style over Substance

The character's armor includes elements that reduce its practicality in favor of looking flashy or appealing. Such features are found almost entirely on female armor and includes high heels, contoured breastplates, no clear means of fastening it together, thigh-high boots, and a lack of padding. Then again, one can easily point to countless real-world examples of the above-mentioned traits (Yes, even heels - riding a horse with stirrups is much easier wearing boots with heels), but most of the time were usually reserved for ceremonial armor and not optimized for combat.

Fear Me

The character's armor is specially designed to intimidate their enemies, either by just looking menacing or realizing what the armor is, is enough to inspire dread. This is typically reserved for villains, who will dress all evil-like to intimidate their foes and cement their position as a, or the, big bad. The good guys sometimes use this style, as an attempt to show his allies and the enemy he means business. This can take a variety of forms, such as:

  • Dreadful armor - simply designed to intimidate foes while looking dignified. They make take the shape of beings feared throughout the setting, like dragons, wolves, angelic/daemonic warriors, or what else have you. While sometimes they're adorned with iconography that their enemies would fear.
  • Eldritch abomination - armor that looks like something H.P Lovecraft would make. Such style incorporates features that are designed to either disgust or horrify the enemy at the mere thought that something like them could exist. Typically used by big bads, who either have armor writhing like its alive or have fused with their armor like its their second skin.

The Main Source of Skub

Female armor is the main source of skub when Armor is discussed. Three points are probably indisputable:

  1. The forces that produce cheesecake outfits in Real Life probably exist in your game world.
  2. The realities of combat also probably exist in your game world, which directly counteracts #1.
  3. The armor worn by women in Fantasy Art veers strongly towards the cheesecake side of the line.
  4. In the real world, there were actual suits of armor that had some very goofy looking codpieces; here's one famous example.
  5. In the real world, practical armor is fairly unisex - breasts just don't get as much in the way as you might expect, particularly once you start adding the necessary padding.
  • Yes, we know that's five points, when we said three are indisputable. Which of three of the above five are indisputable is widely disputed.

(For example, point number two is dependent on how much of a roleplayer vs. rollplayer you are. You wouldn't care much about how well armor covers you if it's +3 defense regardless of hit location. You'll also have people argue that artistic license is more important than adherence to reality when it comes to fiction, since it's not supposed to be a literal interpretation of reality anyway, but by that point you're entering a philosophical debate.)

Beyond those few points, expect to see nothing but bullshit, and maybe a few well meaning but absolutely wrong "Best Practices" suggestions.

A Mild Digression about Ceremonial Armor

In Real Life, armor was usually divided into practical and Ceremonial armor. Practical armor was intended to be used (protect a guy from that spear or knife in the middle of a melee). Ceremonial armor was intended to look good. This resulted in occasional wild differences between the two, such as the ridiculous codpieces mentioned above.

Fantasy armor is usually inspired by the Ceremonial armor, as that's what was usually put into artistic depictions.

The Warhammer Line

As a side note, if your armor is as or more ridiculous than Warhammer's (either 40k or Fantasy), expect to be mocked. Yes, this means you, generic anime-inspired MMORPG (western ones are just as bad in the over-the-top blingey and overdone armors department, looking at you WoW), and you, That Guy who uses a screenshot from said MMORPG as his character portrait.

See Also

Gallery