Dwarf Fortress

You know you want to.

Dorf Fortress (AKA Dwarf Fortress, Dwarf Ortress, Dorf Ortress, Dwar Fortress or Dwar Ortress) is the best game in the world. It was created in the dawn of time by Toady One. The objective of the game is to manage a dwarven fortress. The game has a very high level of detail, meaning that there is that much more to manage in the game. Dwarf Fortress is still under heavy development, and its development is purely funded by donations from the fans. The official game runs with ACSII-like 'graphics', but an unofficial tile graphics version is available here. However, it does have a few minor quirks since the actual game does not yet fully support tile graphics.

Posting a Dwarf Fortress thread on /tg/ is a great way to effortlessly troll a few people, confuse others, and cause multiple, simultaneous and devastating orgasms in neckbeards.

Creatures of Dwarf Fortress

Dorfs

Dorfs (singular: Dorf) are awesome short beardy guys that like to dig.

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  Dwarfs are known to come in packs. In packs of FUCKING USELESS VAGRANTS MIGRANTS!

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  Sometimes a proficient macedwarf is able to handle a Bronze Colossus single-handedly.

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  Female dwarfs are the manliest females known to exist.

• Dwarfs are able to use surrounding items as improvised weapons. Btw, where did you get this floodgate? AHHH IT BURNS!

  Dwarfs are able to use surrounding items as improvised weapons. Btw, where did you get this floodgate? AHHH IT BURNS!

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  Standard dwarven hermit.

Nobles

Nobles are the bane of the land. They require ridiculously luxurious apartments and develop the weirdest fetishes possible, then require you to make items out of materials neither you nor merchants can provide. And they jail the most skilled workers for not fulfilling their every desire.

Killing nobles in the most spectacular way possible is one of the most well-known entertainments in Dwarf Fortress.

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Artifacts

Dwarves get so called "Strange Moods" once in a while. When in this state, they will claim a workshop for the job they are most proficient in, get some (often obscure) materials and start working on them.

If a dwarf does not get the materials he needs in time, he goes mad and starts biting. If he does, he will create some hilariously described items.

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  The cup menaces with the spikes of steel!

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Fire Cults

Dwarves have strong affection to fire, magma and generally anything that burns. The hotter it is, the better.

The only rational reason behind it can be some suicide fire worshiping sect.

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  Drown the world with magma. Its the only way to be sure.

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  Dwarf loev magma.

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  Urist, what do your dwarf eyes see?

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  Those pants are going to make a valuable addition to my Pants On Fire collection!

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  Dwarfs don't know that fire burns, so they pick up burning items and bring them to the stockpiles.

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  A dwarf on fire. Completely unrealistic, in that the dwarf has noticed.

Elves

Elves (singular: elf) are cannibal treehuggers whose only use is elven bone bolts. You must open your magma death trap and kill them all or you will be EAT BY ELFS.

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  Elves send diplomats...

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  ...to ensure you don't cut down too many trees.

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  Ha-ha.

Cats

Cats are the bane of your existence. You must slaughter all of them before they outbreed you and cause you to suffocate since all the air is filled with cats (catsphyxiation?).

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  Trust your feelings, you know it to be the only solution.

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  Artist's rendition of a "catsplosion;" from beginning to devastating end.

Carp

Carp are badass motherfuckers. The weakest of them makes a Tarrasque look like a crying little girl. Their main prey is Dwarves. If any dwarf draws near a river, they are immediately at risk of being consumed by carp. If you see carp, TURN OFF ALL FISHING LABOR IMMEDIATELY OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

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  Getting fishdwarfs lost to carp can bring the fortress down in one huge outburst of violence.

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  Magma is the answer.

Elephants

Elephants used to be demonic creatures of the plains. They mercilessly killed your Dwarves and then killed the Dwarves that rush out of the fortress to loot the body of their fallen comrade. Elephants never slept or forgot. They spent every moment of every day plotting the downfall of your fortress.

Eventually elephants were turned into much more peaceful beings in the newer versions of the game, so now you can settle near savanna and have your revenge. The vacant place of dwarf-murderer was taken by the vicious carp.

In a strange turn of events thanks to the latest update, Elephants have fallen from the noble title of "bane of dwarves" to a creature that literally starves to death while eating 24/7, thanks to some coding...flaws.

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  That's how it all happens.

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  Fortress Walls are engraved with this kind of pictures.

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  Skeletal Elephant. Deadly death of death.

See Also

• The legend of Boatmurdered.
• Kobold Camp
• Goblin Garrison
• Space Station 13, which is kind of like this, but IN SPAAAACE, and you play as one of the dwarfs.
• Minecraft, because that game is so similar.
• Unified_Setting/Dwarf for how /tg/ can summarize the little beardy buggers.

External Links

Official

• Official Site
• Dedicated wiki
• Download it here

You can find instructions on using it in the recent releases on the Discussion page of this article.

• Development blog for Dwarf Fortress

Improvements

• Download the unofficial graphical tileset here
• An version with a graphical tileset already installed
• Now With My Little Ponies

Sagas

• The Saga of Boatmurdered
• The Illustrated Saga of Oilfurnace
• The Illustrated Fall of Bronzemurder

Gallery

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  Boatmurdered is the most famous dwarf fortress ever to exist.

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  Dwarfs are known to engrave weirdest things imaginable on the walls of the fortress.

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  Say, like this.

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  They also embrace animals during parties they throw instead of working.

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  Dwarf press.

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  If the squad leader is on break, then the squad is on break as well.

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  That's what you get for digging too deep.

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  How the hell did that even happen?

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  There's casual, there's hardcore, then there's DF.