Discworld

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A world, and a mirror of worlds.

One of the most beloved book series on /tg/, Discworld is a series of fantasy novels written by the late Sir Terry Pratchett set on the titular Discworld, a round, flat world carried on the back of four elephants who in turn stand on the back of a turtle that swims through the cosmos. The Discworld novels do not have a single core protagonist across the entire series: it has a variety of characters star over the course of the books. Over time certain "series" with the same cast and sometimes setting emerged, creating several parallel (and sometimes overlapping) storylines.

More than just your standard fantasy novel, Discworld plays with the conventions of storytelling and how people and stories shape each other. The writing is one of incredible wordplay, going from clever plays on words that more than once have been plot points to forehead-slappingly dumb puns. The books also include large amounts of footnotes to serve as worldbuilding, a joke or both. Some of these footnotes can take up the majority of a page or have footnotes of their own.

Another notable thing is that over time the Discworld began to escape Medieval Stasis. Towers for semaphore telegraphs are built so that messages can be transmitted at previously unheard of speeds, paper money and postage stamps are invented, the newspaper and journalism take form and even the steam locomotive takes to the field. Meanwhile, magic is present but not commonly used, and over the course of the books the young generation of wizards build Hex, a magical supercomputer who can do in hours what would noramlly take days or weeks for a human wizard.

Furthermore, the books carry a great mix of gravitas and comedy, making them both poingnant and funny at the game time. All these factors have added up to a great series of fiction that will be held close to the hears of many readers in the years to come.

Species on the Disc

Aside from humans, who appear to be in the majority, there are a number of other species living there as well.

Dwarfs

Discworld dwarfs are of the standard model: short, bearded, work in mines, enjoy booze and if you upset them they'll chop your knees off. There are a few differences though: their culture seems to contain a few influences based on Judaism in the form of the Grags, scholars on the laws of the dwarfs and seen as a kind of secular rabbis. Another quirk about them is that dwarfs seem to be a single-gendered species. Of course there are female dwarfs, but aside from giving birth and breastfeeding there is no such thing as "women's work" amongst the dwarfs. Sexual dimorphism is minimal amongst the dwarfs, which can create some rather uneasy situations when one dwarf attempts to court the other. However, through the influences of Ankh-Morpork a small but growing number of dwarfs want to "come out" as being female and embrace their gender. While a number of the cityborn dwarfs see no problem with this the older generations and the conservative dwarfs who live in the mountains see this as an abomination upon their culture, decrying the female dwarfs as ha'ak (exact meaning unknown).

Trolls

Discworld trolls are not creatures of flesh and blood. Instead they consist of metamorphorical rock: rock that takes the form of the stones and minerals around them. Trolls are nocturnal because of their biology: they have silicon brains that heat up when exposed to warmth, inhibiting their ability to think. This means that they're more intelligent and faster at night while being dumb and sluggish during the day. Likewise, trolls living up in the mountains become less intelligent when going down to warmer places like Ankh-Morpork.When a troll brain is sufficiently chilled the troll can become extremely intelligent, their silicon brains essentially serving as computer chips. Trolls can freeze to death this way, but they'd die long after any creature of living flesh would have perished. While trolls are more or less immortal, growing their entire lives. As they get older and bigger they become more sluggish and more inclined to sit around and think (which is why trolls call getting old "getting philosophical"). Truly ancient trolls are the size and shape of mountains, eroding in interesting ways and eventually stop thinking.

Because of this biology their alcohol is hideously toxic to humans and will likely devour the glass it is served in as well. Likewise, the troll diet consists mostly of rocks. To chew their way through this they have diamond teeth, who are very valued by humans and dwarfs alike.

Trolls hold that once in a while a troll is born whose body consist of nothing but diamond. This physique helps immensely to cool down the troll's brain, making them extremely intelligent even when standing in the burning sun. These trolls are seen as semi-mythical beings, and when one is born they are destined to be kings amongst trolls. They all carry the same name, though it always refers to a single individual: Mr. Shine. Him diamond.

Igors

Technically human, the Igors are a clan distinct enough to notice. As their name suggests they are based on the hunchbacked assistants of monsters and madmen from the Universal and Hammer horror movies: they lisp, they limp a bit, look quite ugly, help in their master's unwholsome experiments and so on. They have the uncanny abilities to appear behind you as you call them, can open doors before you knock them, all doors they open creak (they like to cultivate this), have a knack for finding whatever unsual materials their master might need and can sense days in advance when there is going to be a thunderstorm. On top of this they tend to act like butlers as well: they clean (though rather not too much), cook and run errands. The code of an Igor is simple:

• Never question the master
• Never pass judgement
• Never grumble

Igor freelancers are rare because they like to work for people like vampires, mad scientists and the nobility of Überwald (the Disc's version of eastern Europe). They can be quite the traditional sort, insisting on calling their employers "mafhter" or "mifhtreth" and like to generally indulge in the traditional things you'd expect from an Igor. They serve loyaly but up to a point: when the angry mob comes a'knocking they will hightail it out of there with no regards for their master's safety. Vampires are a personal favorite to work for, because of their employer's schedule they have plenty of time to indulge in their calling: surgery.

Igors are immensely skilled with needle and thread, being able to patch up pretty much any wound that did not kill someone (or when it did, make it look like it didn't). This makes them incredibly valued as surgeons, being able to reattach limbs, stitch up anything up to and including decapitation and know how to improve the human body. Regions where Igors are common have something like a public health care system involving them: all injuries an Igor can heal are patched up free of charge. However, upon death (and Igors somehow know exactly when this is) they come knocking, asking to havest any organs they might like in return for whatever procedure was done. This is done with the utmost respect for the dead, and once an Igor is done the body will look none the worse (not worse than dead, at least). Refusal is unheard of, mainly because if this is done the Igor will just shrug and leave, and no Igor will ever help this family again.

Igors are really into body modifications, but not on the level of Franken Fran. They will always look for ways to improve the body, whether through their own handiwork or by ways of transplants. They can remove a damaged kidney and replace it with a fully functioning one with ease and good survival rates for patients, which is surprising given the technology level of the Disc. When an Igor dies they are completely taken apart so that the parts can, in essence, be given a second life. Even brains are removed if possible, so that when someone suffers braindeath their dead brain can be replaced with another and, well, you keep meeting old friends like this.

The Igors are one big clan. When you mention one they immediately know which Igor you are talking about (but can get annoyed when other people don't get this). Female Igors exist as well and are called Igorina. Unlike their male counterparts who are quite hideous to behold Igorinas are beautiful, with only a few stichings on the face to show their allegiance. This makes them quite the catch for men, but the same goes for male Igors. Young ladies seem to like them quite a bit despite their looks; it is hinted at that this is because of their huge, ahem, skill sets.

Locations

Ankh-Morpork

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra
- The motto of the city of Ankh-Morpork

The largest city on the Discworld, the capital of mercantile, a cultural melting pot and a hive where scum and villainy rule by law. Something of a bizarre mix of London, Florence, and Amsterdam, the Big Wahoonie (as it is sometimes called) is located at where the fertile Sto Plains meet the Circle Sea by ways of the River Ankh. This river is one of the vilest, unhealthy, life-bearing (which in case of a river like this is NOT a good thing) and toughest bodies of water in fiction. The sludge is tough enough to draw a chalk line on, you can walk across if you keep the pace up, no ship devised by the hands of man can sail its waters and the bloody thing tends to catch fire in the summer. Still, the people of the city are proud of their very own River of Life.

The founding of Ankh-Morpork is shrouded in legend. Some sources claim it was founded by twin brothers raised by a hippopotamus. The animal is the royal animal of Ankh. Eight stone hippopotamoi decorate the Brass Bridge, and legend states that if the city is ever in danger they will come to life and run away. Another legend states that long ago there was a great flood. An ark was built to house two of every animal on it. When all the dung from fourty days and fourty nights from these animals was thrown overboard it created the land that the city would be founded on.

Ankh-Morpork is currently an oligarchy. It used to be a kingdom, but the last king, Lorenzo the Kind, was overthrown and subsequently executed. He was said to have been monsterous and "very fond of children" (though no details were given). His executioner, Stoneface Vimes, wanted to introduce democracy to the city. This was voted against and Old Stoneface himself got executed. After this the city would be run by an official called the Patrician as part of a non-hereditary oligarchic system, appointed by the various powers in the city. In practice these patricians were just as bad as their royal predecessors, but at least they could be more easily done away with when they were total fuckups (which was often).

The current Patrician, Havelock Vetinari, decided to do things differently. Inheriting a city that was corrupt and crumbling he began to train it like a dog. Thieves were allowed to found their own guild and work semi-legally (they have to carry ID cards may only steal from people within certain quotas), the Seamstresses (hem hem) organised and even the guild of Assassins was allowed to function in the open. The guilds take violation of the internal rules very seriously and are allowed to punish transgressors that would otherwise be tried by the city. Guilds were made clear that a lower, but continuous source of revenue is better than large chunks of it laced with daggers in the back. This allowed the city to not only grow, but also prosper. Nobody (whether they are in power or not) likes Vetinari, but they prefer him in charge rather than someone under the thumb of a rival guild. Meanwhile, Lord Vetinari acts completely in the interst of the city with next to no ego, has no vices he indulges in, does not act like a despot despite being one and fully understands and acts on the human desire to have tomorrow be just like today.

Unless you're a mime of course, in which case Vetinari will have you hung upside down in the scorpion pit.

Under Vetinari's rule the Pax Morporkia turned from "Resist and we'll kill you" that was common under the monarchy to "Resist and we'll call in your mortgage". Ankh-Morpork has no standing army and instead relies on being the primary business partner of the nations around them, allowing the city to financially ruin anyone trying to invade them. The city has also started to see a large influx of migrants: humans, dwarfs, troll, gnomes and even the undead flock to the city in droves. While they generate some problems, above all they generate revenue. Vetinari has been very open to this growth, claiming that alloys are stronger.

The Books

The Discworld series consists primarily of two series of books: the main series and the young adult novels. The former is the series of 34 books that people will think of when hearing "Discworld", and contains the most famous stories. The young adult novels are a half-dozen books aimed at younger audiences. Then there are the various spinoffs like a pair of children's books, the illustrated version of two other books and a variety of short stories and supportive material.

Main series

The Color of Magic

Debut of Rincewind. The world's first tourist, Twoflower, shows up in Ankh-Morpork. Rincewind, a failed wizard, is tasked with protecting him. This book is notable for being a parody of various tropes common in the fantasy genre like Vancian magic and parodies things like D&D, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, Conan the Barbarian, H.P. Lovecraft's work and more.

The Light Fantastic

The immediate sequel to The Color of Magic that picks up right where the book left off, something that would not happen again in the series.

Equal Rites

The debut of Granny Weatherwax, a witch who accompanies the little girl Eskarina to the Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork to learn magic. This is unusual because wizards are always the eight son of an eight son, and Eskarina is the eight daughter of an eight son.

Mort

The debut of Death as a character. Death feels like he should take on an apprentice and picks the farm boy Mort, which causes trouble when he tasks Mort to gather the soul of a princess. Mort doesn't want her to die so he saves her, causing all sorts of trouble.

Sourcery

The eight son of an eigh son is a wizard. The eight son of a wizard howver is a Sourcerer, a wizard cubed. Being an entity of intense magical power the Sourcerer Coin attempts to take over the world at behest of the spirit of his father, who inhabits the boy's magical staff.

Wyrd Sisters

The debut of the Lancre Witches. King Verence of Lancre is murdered by his cousin Leonal Felmet. Felmet takes the throne and eventually turns on the witches, which is, as he learns, a very bad idea.

Pyramids

A standalone book. Prince Teppic of Djelibeybi finishes his education at the Guild of Assassins in Ankh-Morpork and learns that his father has passed on, making him the new king of a heavily Egyptian-inspired kingdom. He travels back home only to find the court dominated by the ancient high priest Dios.

Guards! Guards!

Debut of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Carrot Ironfoundersson is a dwarf who isn't. An orphan found and raised by dwarfs in the mountains, at the urging of his father Carrot goes to Ankh-Morpork to join the Ankh-Morpork City Night Watch, an esteemed and honorable institute. Or so he's told: in practice there's only three people in the Night Watch: the alcoholic Captain Vimes, the bumbling Sergeant Coolon and the petty thief Corporal Nobbs. Possessing an immense sense of duty and a matching heap of charisma, Carrot and the other watchmen get dragged into a plot involving a shadowy group summoning a dragon in an attempt to install a puppet ruler on the throne of the city.

Eric

The shortest of the main line Discworld books, the titular demonologist summon what he thinks to be a demon, only to get Rincewind bound to him.

Moving Pictures

Debut of CMOT Dibbler as a major character and lays the foundation for the Wizards, as well as Gaspaud the Wonder Dog. Alchemists in Ankh-Morpork discover how to capture moving images and project them onto a screen. An entire industry dedicated to making these moving pictures pops up in the Holy Wood, located not too far from the city. But the threat to this new industry is not just because of Dibbler's business practices...

Reaper Man

Debut of the Auditors of Reality. The agents of the cosmic bureaucracy, the Auditors of Reality, decide that Death has become too human and is sentenced to live amongst mortals. But with Death out of the way nobody dies, which floods the world with life. This turns out to be a Very Bad Thing when Ankh-Morpork is beset by a living shopping mall.

Witches Abroad

Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick travel to Genua (not-quite New Orleans) in an attempt to, for a change, prevent a servant girl from marrying a prince. While doing so they come into conflict with Lilith, a woman Granny Weatherwax knows all too well.

Small Gods

A standalone book. The Omnian Empire (which is sort of like if the Spanish Inquisition was run by Friend Computer) holds that the worship of the Great God Om comes above all. The novice Brutha finds a turtle dropped by an eagle, but is surprised to find that the turtle talks. Om has turned into a turtle because the people's awe and fear is aimed at the church itself rather than Om, meaning that he lost all his power and has been turned into this state. The book is infamous for fucking up the timeline: in Pyramids Omnia is as described in this book, but in later books it is far different, with changes that could not have happened in the mere years between the books.

Lords and Ladies

The Lancre Witches come into conflict with the Fair Folk, who enter the Discworld from their own parasitic universe. This happens right around Magrat's impeding wedding with the king of Lancre, making the conflict all the more difficult.

Men at Arms

Debut of Angua and Detrius as a major character. Captain Vimes is going to marry and retire from the watch within the week. Before he goes though he has to train three new minority recruits he was forced to take on by Lord Vetinari: Detrius the troll, Cuddy the dwarf and Angua the w-, eh, that should be obvious. Meanwhile, a retired assassin deduces that corporal Carrot might very well be the heir to the throne of the city and hatches a plot to put Carrot there, all the while using an ancient and banned object.

Soul Music

Debut of Susan. The elf-ish Llamedosian musician Imp y Celyn chafes at the rigid ways of making music in his native village and decides to make his way to Ankh-Morpork to make a living with his music there. After some initial hurdles and the breaking of his old instrument he buys a guitar from a mysterious shop that disappears and appears all over the place. The instrument seems to have a mind of its own, and while it plays some very powerful music it takes a toll on his psyche. Meanwhile, Death's granddaughter Suzan puts the powers in her blood that were passed down by her grandfather (somehow...) to the test as she tries to save Imp from himself.

Interesting Times

Rincewind is forced by the wizards to go to the Agatean Empire, located on the Counterweight Continent. Here he encounters old friends and is pulled into a rebellion against the overbearing empire, very much against his will.

Maskerade

Phantom of the Opera redux. Now that Magrat is a queen Granny and Nanny need a third witch to fill out their coven. Their eye falls on Agnes Nitt, a sizable young woman with an amazing singing voice, who has recently moved to Ankh-Morpork to join the opera. The people there are very much impressed with her voice, but finds herself an understudy to the much less talented, intelligent and sizable Christine. While Agnes doesn't want anything to do with witchery, she cannot help but think like a witch when faced with the mysterious and murderous Phantom. Of the opera.

Feet of Clay

Debut of Cheery Littlebottom. The City Watch is larger and more effective than ever. Their first major case is a pair of murders that may or may not involve golems, the clay automatons working in the city. At the same time the Watch has to deal with the poisoning of Lord Vetinari, which puts the city in a delicate position.

Hogfather

Susan has taken up a job as a governess, trying to live a normal live despite all the supernatural things happening around her. Meanwhile, the Auditors hatch a plot to have the Hogfather, the Discworld equivalent of Santa, assassinated. The plan works, sort of, and now Death has to take his place. Regardless of what she wants Suzan is roped into the investigation of what happened to the Hogfather and ends up emproiled in a plot involving all kinds of supernatural being and a not supernatural but not any less monstrous assassin.

Jingo

The island of Leshp rises out of the sea, smack dab between Ankh-Morpork and the not-Arabic Klatch. When diplomatic efforts go awry it is up to Commander Vimes of the City Watch to keep the peace and find the would-be assassin of the Klatchian ambassador.

The Last Continent

Rincewind is not dead, and in fact ended up on the continent of XXXX, where he does his usual running away from people who try to murder him. Meanwhile, the wizards try to find a cure for the Librarian's condition that interferes with his morphic field, causing him to switch into random animals and objects every time he sneezes. They discover that the only one who can help them with this would be Rincewind, and they set out on a quest to return him safely.

Carpe Jugulum

Aside from their usual weaknesses, vampires seem to have a psychological need to set up things for would-be heroes to easily slay them: curtains that can be pulled aside easily, objects that can be used as improvised holy icons, chairs with sharp legs that can be used as stakes and so on. A new generation of vampires, the de Magpyr family from Überwald decides to adapt to this and set up shop in Lancre. This pits them against the witches and a soft-spoken Omnian reverend, the former of which know all too well how stories work.

The Fifth Elephant

Commander Vimes is sent to Überwald on a diplomatic mission to attend the coronation of the Low King. With the theft of the Scone of Stone however this is made difficult, for without the Scone there can be no coronation. Meanwhile, Angua's past catches up to her and she needs to decide whether to return to her old life or stay with Carrot and the Watch.

The Truth

A standalone book. Scribe William de Worde teams up with a bunch of dwarfs to invent the printing press and essentially create the first newspaper. Meanwhile, the people who made an attempt to dethrone the Patrician return with a plot to replace him with a body double and hire Mr Pin and Mr Tulip (pretty much the Discworld version of Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction) to help them to this end.

Thief of Time

The Auditors of Realty make an attempt to stop time. They employ clockmaker Jeremy Clockson to build a clock that, when turned on last time, stopped time and shattered history. The History Monks, a monastic tradition dedicated to the protection of time, apprentice the know-itall student Lobsang Ludd to the sweeper Lu-Tze, who is far, FAR more than he lets on. Lobsang discovers that he has a knack for working with the Procrastinators, machines that can manipulate time. The two of them are sent to Ankh-Morpork by the abbot of the History Monks to discover what made the Procrastinators go haywire. All the while, Death attempts to recruit Suzan and his fellow Horsemen to ride out to not end the world, but save it instead.

Night Watch

After an event in Thief of Time Commander Vimes is cast thirty years back in time, alongside the murderer Carcer that he was chasing. Vimes ends up taking the place of his old mentor, John Keel and begins to take a pivotal role in the civil war agains the mad Patrician Lord Winder. It's like Les Mis meets time travel.

Monstrous Regiment

Oliver Perks wants to join the army so that he can find out what happened to his brother. He has a rough time there not just because of the hardships his country is going through, but because he's actually a girl named Polly. She finds herself amongst a motley group of fellow soldiers lead by the naive but dutiful Lieutenant Blouse and the hard around the edges but very protective Sergeant Jackrum.

Going Postal

Debut of Moist von Lipwig. Albert Spangler is caught for theft, tried, convicted, hanged, buried and receives an orbituary. Moist von Lipwig, what he is actually called, wakes up in the Patrician's office instead. Vetinari makes him an offer: take a second round on the rope or become the new Postmaster of the defunct Ankh-Morpork Post Office. He is assigned a parole officer (a golem) and reluctantly sets out to do his new job. Moist is a man who not only takes refuge in audacity but builds up its defenses, raises its economy and makes it a full-on invasion. The new AMPO turns out to be a success, but this pits him against the powerful Grand Trunk, the company running the semaphores. The Grand Trunk does not like competition ruining their bottom line, which consists of ruthlessly exploiting the workers and ruining the company's working culture.

Thud!

Right before the anniversary of the Battle of Koom Valley a dwarfish grag gets his head smashed in. On the scene a troll club is found, driving up the tensions between trolls and dwarfs. Worse, the Watch is forced to employ a new recruit: Salacia von Humpeding, who is a vampire. While investigating the murder Vimes hurts his hand, and is starts to itch strangely. With the threat of an all-out war looming over them Vimes and the Watch have to solve one of their most important cases yet.

Making Money

After his success at the AMPO Vetinari assigns Moist von Lipwig to the Royal Mint. He gets to meet the majority shareholder, a clever old lady who immediately makes Moist out for the crook that he is. She dies not soon afterwards, leaving her shares to her dog Mr Fusspot, leaves the dog to Moist... as well as a significant contract on his head if something were to happen to the dog. Of course, the woman's family is not happy with this and try their very best to get Moist out of business or life, whichever comes first. Unfortunately for them, Moist too tries his very best to avoid this fate.

Unseen Academicals

Romeo and Juliet... WITH FOOTBALL! The Patrician tries to civilize the old game of Foot-the-Ball, with all the trouble this entails. The wizards end up getting involved, but they require a coach. The UU servant Mr. Nutt helps them out with this, but he turns out to be far more than meets the eye.

Snuff

Commander Vimes is dragged off on a holiday to the countryside. Being all to aware of what happenes the last time he went on one (see The Fifth Elephant), he is none too surprise to find that there was a murder. But nobody in the area seems to care on account of the victim being a goblin. Vimes however disagrees: a crime is a crime and criminals must be punished. He finds no allies in the area, with the local police actually working against him. But this does not stop Vimes, putting him in what is one of the more heavy-handed stories in the series. And Nobby gets a girlfriend.

Raising Steam

Moist von Lipwig is once again given a new job: help develop the train line from Bonk all the way via Zemphis, Sto Lat and Ankh-Morpork to Quirm. This to the ire of Dwarfish fundamentalists who try to saboutage the rail line in every possible way in an attempt to dethrone the Low King, who is currently in Quirm for an intenational summit. Moist is charged with bringing the Low King home safely, but few things go as planned.

Characters

The Discworld books have a vast amount of characters spread all over them, and the books frequently switch between points of view of the various characters. It's not as bad as A Song of Ice and Fire, but there's still a massive cast spread throughout the books, many of whom are recurring characters. The characters below are sorted by sub-series.

Ankh-Morpork City Watch

• Samuel Vimes is a cop through and through. He became captain during the decline of the Night Watch, which drove him to drink. During the events involving a dragon making a grab for power Vimes met Lady Sybil Ramkin, one of the foremost nobles in the city. They fell in love and eventually got married, launching him to the top of the social ladder. This did little for his cynicism (but did cure his tendencies as a drunkard) as he now finds that he is the establishment that he opposes. It's all quite zen. Over the course of the books Vimes develops a reputation as an incorrputible badass who arrested Vetinari and lived, arrested two armies for attempted murder, fought werewolves with his bare hands and (while not a lot of people know this) bested a demon in a battle of wills. He is the living example that being Lawful Good does not mean that you have to be nice.

• Sybil Ramkin is the only remaining scion of the Ramkin family, one of the foremost real estate owners of the city. This means that her wealth is well into the millions, making her one of the richest, if not THE richest, people in the city. A fair deal of money goes to her hobby and calling: the breeding of swamp dragons. She is an authority on the subject and gladly carries the burden of caring for the little things, namely having all your hair burned off. She is an extremly nice and pleasant woman who can get along with people almost as well as Carrot does. She eventually falls in love with and marries Vimes, who loves her dearly but chafes at the trappings of the rich nobility. She takes an old-fashioned approach to the wedded life. She insists on cooking for her husband (she's rich enough to employ the best chefs in the world) who, despite her lacking skills, loves her cooking and mends his socks without complaint (they're rich enough to buy new socks for every day for the rest of his life), something she's less than good at but Vimes doesn't want to bring this up. Despite growing up in the comfort of nobility she's a massive woman who towers over her husband, being described as a valkyrie (the fat opera kind) on one occation.
• Willikins is the butler of the Ramkins family, having been with them since he was a boy. He appears to be the standard snarky-but-polite butler, but in his early days he was in a gang and can kill you with whatever he's got on him. He is extremly dangerous in a fight (he once bit a man's nose off), with his notable action being the swift murder of a man threatening the Ramkins.

• Carrot Ironfoundersson is a dwarf. All 6'6" of him. A young man found and raised by dwarfs, he eventually came to Ankh-Morpork to have it make a man of him. He joined the Night Watch and was instrumental in making the Watch what it is today. Carrot possesses MASSIVE amounts of charisma, to the point that even the criminals whom he arrests like him. He is innocent to an infuriating degree, can defuse dangerous situations with niceness and can befriend just about anything. Readers have noted that while some scenes describe him from another character's point of view and other scenes describe him, but not his point of view, there has never been a scene that describes things from his point of view. This has lead people (both in-universe and real life) to suspect that Carrot is a lot smarter than he lets on and might be playing everyone for some reason. He is pretty much the heir to the throne of Ankh-Morpork, but he denies knowledge of this (without lying) and all evidence of this fact he gets his hands on tends to... disappear. About as Lawful Good as you can get: he sticks to the rules and makes them work for him.
• Sergeant Frederick Colon has been with the Watch longer than anyone, even Vimes. He appears to be a fat bumbling old fool but underneath that he's a... well, fat bumbling old fool. He is a very nice man even if not sharp on the uptake, and knows a lot of retired cops, old friends and former criminals with whom he'll gladly make smalltalk, which grants him an immense knowledge of what goes on on the street. Just don't put him in charge of things: it'll get ugly.
• Corporal Cecil Wormsborough St. John "Nobby" Nobbs is human by decree of the Patrician. Extremly ugly, has lots of bad habits, is a petty criminal in his own right and has an odor best left undescribed, Nobby still somehow manages to be liked by people on account of him being below everyone. He gets along great with Sergeant Colon (often being on patrol with him), frequently popping up in books to comment on the crazy happenings de jure. Is skilled at peacekeeping (that is, being on patrol in areas with lots of peace to keep), crime prevention (stay away from certain areas so that he doesn't steal anything there) and guarding city landmarks against theft.
• Delphine Angua von Überwald came to the city to escape her deraged family and shameful past. She turned out to be quite the formiddable Watch member, a skilled cop in her own right and with a nose for sensitive cases. She has the tendency to be, in her own words, quite the bitch, but still gets along fine with the rest of the watch, including her boyfriend Carrot. While often cynical towards him and his innocence she cannot help but walk after him like a puppy. Dogged by the feelings that come up in her every month or so she tries her best to keep herself in check and do her job. The head of the City Watch's dog brigade, she can find clues that no other member possibly could. She frequently finds herself being taken hostage, only to turn the tables on her hostage takers and turning them into whimpering wrecks. She also frequently works with special police informant Gaspaud; the two of them like eath other more than they let on.
• Sergeant Detrius is a troll on the rise. Starting out as a splatter (like a bouncer who throws harder) for the Mended Drum, he joined the City Watch. He quickly turned out into a natural sergant, shouting at people until they got in line. Tends to be quite literal and too dumb to fool but is a good cop and a good troll nontheless. His weapon of choise is the Piecemaker, a siege crossbow originally designed to shoot metal bars through city gates. He likes to load it with bundles of arrows, turning the thing into a massive shotgun capable of leveling houses. Is very staunchly anti-drugs, which makes sense given how fast troll drugs can kill them.
• Cheery "Cheri" Littlebottom is the Watch's forensics expert. A former alchemist hired to fight crime WITH SCIENCE. A bit shy and hates to yell at people, which is why her promotion took a while despite her great competence. Became a leader in the dwarfish women movement when she started to wear makeup, earrings and wear skirts, kickstarting it with the encouragement of her close friend Angua.
• Salacia Deloresista Amanita Trigestatra Zeldana Malifee [...] von Humpeding, aka Sally. The first vampire in the Watch, much to Vimes' dismay. Despite her looks she's in her early 50s, easily putting her in the top of oldest Watch members. A fine cop in her own right, she eventually leaves the Watch to join the Watch in Bonk, with her position as a Sammy (a cop who worked in Sam Vimes' Watch) carrying much prestige.
• Visit-The-Infidels-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets is an Omnian and the most religious member of the Watch. On his off days he and his fellow Omnian "Smite-The-Unbeliever-With-Cunning-Arguments" spread the good word of Om, much to the dismay of everyone else.
• Dorfl is a golem, hired by Vimes to piss off the establishment. The first golem who with the ability to talk, he is an unstoppable juggernaut capable of walking through doors and walls alike and can manhandle trolls the same way trolls take on humans. As a free golem he saves up his wages to purchase other golems, whom he then frees and asks to help free other golems in the same way.
• Reginald "Reg" Shoe is a zombie and undead rights activist. He died during the events of Night Watch and was allowed to join the Watch because Vimes wanted to stick it to the establishment. A good cop who keeps his stuff together despite he himself falling apart frequently.

Death and Company

• Death is the anthropomorphic personification of death, which manifests as a traditional "Grim Reaper" figure (a scythe-carrying skeleton in a black robe). Initially portrayed as an actively malevolent figure in the first two books, he was subsequently retconned as being a very devoted professional who has become increasingly fond of sapient life over his long service. Being a personification, he has absolutely no proper understanding of human life, but his fascination leads him to keep trying, which tends to go quite wrong.
• Suzan is Death's grand-daughter, by virtue of her mom having been Death's adoptive daughter and her dad having been Death's temporary apprentice. Unfortunately, her parents were so ashamed of their connections to Death that they brought Suzan up with a strictly logical mindset and a belief in rationalism... which, given she lives in the Discworld, which can't make contact with either without the aid of a long stick and a lot of shouting, tends to leave her perpetually frustrated. She has white hair with a black streak in it, and when she blushes she develops three long red marks on her otherwise pale cheeks - when her father quit Death's service, the angry skeleton pimp-slapped him before letting him go, and that scar has carried down in a typical display of Discworld inheritence. This also gives her many of Death's inherent powers, like a mind-controlling voice and the ability to go ethereal when she wants.
• The Death of Rats is a rat, or at least the skeleton of a rat, who presides over the demise of rats, hamsters and other tiny rodents. Only speaks in capital SQUEAKS. Sometimes goes around mounted on a raven named Quoth (get it? Quoth the Raven?). Irks Susan on a regular basis by getting dragging her into events that involve her grandfather and/or the fate of the Disc.
• Albert is Death's manservant, a former Archchancellor of the Unseen University who figured he could become immortal by reversing the rite of Ashe-Kente, used to summon and interrogate Death. It... sort of worked? Essentially, it teleported him to Death's realm, where time stands still, and he's stayed there ever since, as he finds it a comfortable enough existence. A proudly self-professed evil-tempered old bugger, Albert acts humble to his master, but is still a wizard of the Old School, which means he's got a lot of boom hidden up his sleeves if he ever deigns to use it.

Lancre Witches

• Esmeralda "Granny" Weatherwax is the unofficial (because witches like to think themselves above that sort of "nonsense") leader of all witches in the Ramtops Mountains and alongside Samuel Vimes is Pratchett's iconic "Good Don't Mean Nice" character. By her own admission born to be "the bad witch", that karmic role was screwed up when her psychotic sister Lily instead became a truly evil witch whilst still thinking of herself as the good one, leaving a destiny void that Granny felt compelled to fill. She is short-tempered, abrasive, doesn't suffer fools, and imperious, but firmly believes in making the hard choices and doing what's right. It's well-acknowledged that she is "The Crone" of her personal coven, but everyone in the Ramtops discretely refers to that archetype as "The Other One", especially if they think she might hear them. A formidably powerful magic user, she is a great advocate of not using magic and instead relying on "head-ology" - a mixture of down-to-earth common sense, folk remedies, observational skill and bunkum to look more "magical".
• Gytha "Nanny" Ogg is the beloved matriarch of the sprawling Ogg clan of the Ramtops Mountains, an affable and rotund old lady who has lost none of the endearing sleaze that she developed over a youth as a lusty, highly sexual woman. She is "The Mother" of her coven, combining both lecherously good-humored attitude and a warm, maternal nature; people may fear and respect Granny, but they love Nanny, something that Granny Weatherwax sometimes shows signs of envying. It's been implied that she's actually more magically powerful than Granny, but it's just that A: she's too lazy to really use it, and B: she doesn't want to upset Granny by letting her find out.
• Magrat Garlick is the much-put-upon youngest member of the original coven. If Granny Weatherwax is the fairytale wicked witch turned good and Nanny Ogg is the wise earth mother, then Magrat is the good-hearted but soft-headed neo-pagan, who finds herself in over her head when her blissfully dreamy ideals are confronted with the cold, hard realism of her superiors. Despite everything, Magrat does have a heart of gold and dearly wants to help - even if most just ignore her "clearly dotty" ideas and suggestions - and she's got a core of steel deep, deep down inside.
• Agnes "Perdia X Dream" Nitt is the chubby "replacement Maiden" for the coven after Magrat leaves it by marrying the King (ex-Fool) of Lancre. A generally mild, inoffensive and shy girl, she's not unattractive but is the result of Lancre selecting for a Brawn Hilda style of beauty and hates herself for it. "Perdita X Dream" is Agnes' idealised fantasy self, a sharp-tongued, aggressive, take-charge version of Agnes who would take no crap from anybody... unfortunately, being a witch caused this fantasy self to become its own split personality and she now lives in Agnes' head, snarkily commenting on Agnes' actions and looking for a chance to steal control of Agnes' body.
• Jason Ogg is the eldest son of Nanny Ogg. Said to be the greatest blacksmith and farrier in the world: as long as he's got the horseshoes for it he can put them on it. One of his frequent customers is Death, who occationally drops by to get Blinky shoed. A giant, soft-spoken man who can pick up a pair of adult men by the scruff of their necks.
• Shawn Ogg is the jack-of-all-trades at Lancre Castle. If it doesn't require special training he does it with enthusiasm and skill: he delivers mail and messages, serves food, patrols the castle and a dozen other jobs. He is the entire complement of Lancre's standing army (except when he is lying down).

Wizards

• Rincewind is a cowardly and cynical wizard who has absolutely no talent whatsoever at magic but does have the dubious favor of The Lady (the Disc's unnamed Goddess of Luck), which ensures his life is a constant stream of dangerous and terrifying misadventures.
• Mustrum Ridcully is the Unseen University's Archchancellor for most of the series, and effectively combines traits of the traditional wizard with that of the stereotype of the gruff, outgoing huntin'-and-sportin' British gentleman.
• The Librarian is a wizard and the Unseen University's librarian (obviously) who was polymorphed into an orangutan by a surge of wild magic in the second novel and chose to stay in that form afterwards, as it allowed him to much more effectively work in the library.
• Ponder Stibbons
• The Bursar
• The Chair of Indefinite Studies
• The Dean
• The Lecturer in Recent Runes
• The Senior Wrangler
• Professor John Hix is the head of the Necrom-*ahem* Post-Mortem Communications department at UU. Required to be evil by University law, but actually quite mild-mannered, he is also a keen member of the local amateur dramatics society.

Citizens of Ankh-Morpork

• Havelock Vetinari, the Patrician is the official Tyrant of Ankh-Morpork, a trained assassin who showcased his intelligence even as a youth by realizing how much the Guild's focus on style impeded its actual effectiveness. Though he could, as he repeatedly points out, rule as a brutal despot, he favors instead using a network of spies and his own high intelligence to manipulate the city into working the way he wants it. A magnificent scheming bastard, he's often seen as invincible and prepared for absolutely everything, but he has been caught off-guard a few times.
• Rufus Drumknott is Vetinari's loyal and almost deliberately dull assistant.
• Moist von Lipwig is a former con artist officially hanged by Ankh-Morpork as a result of bank robbery. Instead, Vetinari arranges for his death and forces him to become the new Postmaster of the then-defunct City Post. To his surprise, Moist finds himself growing to enjoy the challenge and ends up becoming, in order, Postmaster, Head of the Ankh-Morpork Bank and a pioneer of the Ankh-Morpork steamtrain system, inventing stamps, paper money and a couple of other things along the way.
• Adora Belle Dearheart is the sharp-tempered, abrasive, cutting-tongued, chain-smoking head of the Golem Trust, who gets on better with golems than she does with people. Eventually becomes Moist's girlfriend and subsequently wife.
• William de Worde is an idealistic nobleman who becomes the leader of Ankh-Morpork's first newspaper.
• Gaspaud the Wonder Dog is an ugly, disease-riddled mongrel of a dog who became sapient and capable of speech after eating out of the rubbish dumps of the Unseen University. Cynical and sarcastic, he mostly makes a living begging for food, taking advantage of the fact that most people refuse to believe a dog is talking and so his words have an effect like a Charm Person spell.
• CMOT Dibbler is a surprisingly effective street vendor who specializes in selling extremely dubious goods, most commonly his goddamned awful sausages-in-buns and meat pies.
• Leonard of Quirm is the incredibly intelligent and multi-talented but super-naive and gentle mad inventor of Ankh-Morpork. Vetinari keeps him secretly locked away in the Palace in order to protect Leonard from the world and the world from Leonard.
• Chrysophrase is the head of the Breccia, a sort of Trollish Mafia.
• Hughnon Ridcully is the High Priest of Io and unofficial representative of all the priests and clerics in Ankh-Morpork. Mustrum Ridcully's brother and implicitly built along the same lines.
• Mr Slant is the city's most infamous lawyer, a zombie created from a man who came back from the dead to get his murderer acquitted and refused to die again when his family refused to pay for his legal counsel. Highly traditional, he continually gets involved in various schemes to disrupt Vetinari's reign, but always gets out unscathed even when they fail.

Others

• The Auditors of Reality are anthropomorphic personifications of physics, but they're possibly connected to taxes (which, as the old joke goes, are the only other certainty in the universe besides Death); as their title suggests, they basically see to the smooth, clockwork-like management of all the underlying mechanics that keep the universe spinning. Unfortunately, as the Discworld exists in a marginal area where the beliefs of intelligent beings can warp reality to comply, and they find life itself unbearably chaotic, they absolutely hate the very concept of life. Such is their sheer disgust that they undertake several schemes during the course of the series to destroy life, making them the closest thing the setting has to Bad Guys, and they have a bitter enmity for Death, who rather likes life. They appear as almost harmless; shroud-like gray robes with nothing inside of them, hovering silently in mid-air and communicating through telepathy. They always show up in groups of three or more and always try to avoid personal pronouns; because they believe that to have a sense of I means to have an identity, and to have an identity means to live, and to live means to die, any Auditor who does use a pronoun immediately disintegrates (because "logic") and is seamlessly replaced by a new one. Also, don't tell them that their hatred of life and their dislike of all the extra work that living beings make them do means that they already have an identity independent of their functions.
• Twoflower is an accountant from the fantasy-China region of Agatea, who manages to leave the traditionally highly reclusive nation for a tourist visit to Ankh-Morpork. This ultimately leads to a revolution in Agatea when he publishes a book about what he did on his holidays, inadvertently revealing that life does not have to be the highly rigid, formalized tyranny under which the country exists.
• Cohen the Barbarian is essentially what you get if you ask "What if Conan the Barbarian lived to be an old codger but never stopped doing the Barbarian Hero schtick?" A cranky and bitter old bastard who is deeply offended at having outlived the era of the Barbarian Hero, sneering at how the world has gotten so soft and straitlaced since his youth. Ultimately, his dissatisfaction with the state of the world and its lack of respect for the Barbarian Heroes who ultimately carved out the foundations for civilization leads him to try and firebomb the gods themselves.
• Rhys Rhysson is the current Low King of the Dwarves after the events of Thud!
• Mr. Shine (Him Diamond) is the current Diamond King of Trolls, a Diamond Troll whose unparalleled strength and intelligence makes him the traditional ruler of his race.
• Lady Margolotta is a female vampire and an intimate acquaintance of Vetinari.