Chapter Master Smashfucker

Smashfucker is one of the most cheesey, rapey, deadly character builds in Warhammer 40,000. An Iron Hands Chapter Master with a monstrous set of wargear, he is practically immortal and will smash your shit with extreme prejudice.

Codex: Space Marines version

Smashbane, Smashfucker's original incarnation, is an Iron Hands Chapter Master on a bike, with Artificer Armour, the Shield Eternal and a weapon (usually a Thunder Hammer), as well as usually having Digital Weapons. This gives him 4 wounds,toughness 5, a 2+ armour save and a 3++ invulnerable save, 6+ Feel No Pain, 5+ It Will Not Die, Adamantium Will, and Eternal Warrior. If you take a Thunder Hammer - and there's really no reason not to, you're paying so much for him as it is that there's no point in trying to save points - you'll be hitting at strength 8, AP2 with Concussive, and you won't need to worry about initiative as you're not going to die anyway. While he won't win against everyone - notably, he'll (mathematically) lose against Be'lakor, Skarbrand, Abaddon, and a Waaagh-buffed Ghazghkull - he's still dead 'ard and dead killy.

Also of note is the fact that he managed to go head-to-head with Darnath Lysander and the two punched each other out, despite Lysander's S10.

As of Space Marines 7th Edition, Iron Hands Tactics got changed so that they give a +1 to Feel No Pain(And grant a 6+ if there wasn't already one). Now take a Command Squad with an Apothecary, and enjoy your 2+/4+ save. This makes him completely identical to Chapter Master Smashfucker, and now you no longer need Clan Ruakan to take Smashfucker, or rely on Gorgon's Chain. Do consider now taking a librarian biker to roll up Daemonology, and try to get him Sanctuary so he has a 2++ Save. Thanks to this, he's now nigh-invincible to pretty much everything short of Destroyer Weapons.

One may consider putting him in a Scout biker squad in the beginning of the game. For 54 points minimum you can give him Scouts, allowing him to start 12" closer to enemy and give him a few extra T5 wounds as well. Don't expect the scouts to survive with 4+ armor but if they do, consider tooling them for harassment w/ AGLs and a melta bomb.

Clan Raukaan Supplement version

With the release of the Clan Raukaan supplement, Smashbane evolved into Smashfucker: although he can't take the Shield Eternal any more, he can now take the even better Gorgon's Chain. This piece of gear doesn't take up a weapons slot, unlike the Shield, and not only do you get 3++ and Eternal Warrior, you ALSO get +1 to your Feel No Pain! The only downside to this is that its effectiveness decreases as you take wounds, first losing the Feel No Pain boost, then the Eternal Warrior, and then having its 3++ decreased to a 4++. However, you're unlikely to get that far, and if you regain wounds with your IWND, you get the previous levels of the Chain back! As it doesn't take up a weapon slot, you can use that for a Lightning Claw - giving you an extra attack and the chance to strike at initiative - and replace his bike's boltguns with the Betrayer's Bane, an infinite-use Combi-Melta (throw in the Tempered Helm to re-roll ones in the shooting phase for extra rage) Betrayers bane is already Master crafted, but tempered helm WILL come in handy if you equip your cheap biker HQ's Command squad with bikes and grav guns (or put him with grav cents, he can always split off and murder an entire unit by himself. This becomes even more hysterical if you roll Master of the Ambush and infiltrate the entire unit). And if you also got the Warlord Trait that gives you an EXTRA +1 to your FnP, then your opponent may as well save himself the trouble and surrender.

If you field it, they will die. Almost nothing short of a Daemon Prince of Nurgle wielding the Black Mace can even touch this guy, and even then the Daemon Prince might lose given one bad roll.

But if you really want to make someone's life a living hell, ally together a Clan Raukaan force and a Codex:SM force (fluff it as the Iron Hands and a successor chapter) to bring both Smashbane and Smashfucker (super smash bros). Or, if you're feeling particularly devious, field the Forge World Salamanders apothecary Master Harath Shen; seeing as he gives the unit a 4+ FNP that's increased to a 3+ by Smashfucker's Gorgon's Chain. He also gives you access to a Command squad for extra goodness although he doesn't have a bike and so reduces the squads mobility... But then again, with a lucky warlord table roll you're rocking 2+/3++ then FUCKING 2+ feel no pain(!!). Also: Another thing worth mentioning is that if you roll him with a biker libby and command squad with apothecary on bikes, don't be cheap, invest those 40 points into storm shields, roll on sanctic daemonology, pray to the Emperor, Ferrus Manus and Omnissiah for sanctuary. Enjoy having your Chapter master protected with 2+ invulnerable save followed by 3+ FNP, which is also lot more likely to obtain if your army is battleforged. Apothecary and libby get 6++ and they are also protected by other bikers with Toughness 5 and 2+ invulnerable save and 5+ FNP

with the new codex you can even try to do the legendary "psysmashfucker" which is a clan raukaan librarian from the librarius conclave with as much librarian as you need which all cast on biomancy, the "psysmashfucker" is equipped with Gorgon's chain, force power axe, bike, and with whom you try to cast iron arm, warp speed, force and endurance. it sound's hard but with the librarius conclave and at least one librarian near him it really isn't, now look at your new T8, 3++, 3+ fnp, iwnd, EW 2 W librarian with even spirith leech to regain wounds, and with 6 attack, AP 2 S 9 instadeath on the charge "oh, that MC looks really cute, let me help you removing it from the table"

UPDATE: Due to the 7th Edition Update, this is the only remaining OP version of Smashfucker. However, thanks to changes in the 7th Edition Codex, you can make him even MORE OP. How, you ask? It's simple.

First, get an Honour Guard Squad and give it a Chapter Banner. This gives the entire unit +1A. Thus, with Smashfucker inside it, he also gains +1A. Next you get a Command Squad and give it the Emperor Ascendant Standard, which gives a 12" bubble around it +1A. Keep it near Honour Guard for another +1A. This means, on the charge, the Honour Guard do 6 attacks. With Smashfucker gaining +3A for the charge.

The downside is, however, you don't have an Apothecary for the FnP save... However, if you're going FULL FORCE, you're probably taking Harath Shen anyway, so dump him in the Honour Guard Squad as well.

If, however, you don't want to leave the Command Squad and it's glorious Bike giving ability, you can still take the Emperor's Ascendant Standard for +1A for the squad and 12" around it. So you still get some glorious extra mileage on Smashfucker. Also, remember, the Command Squad has the ability to upgrade one memeber to wear a Narthicelum. This DOES NOT REPLACE WARGEAR AT ALL. Therefore, you can still equip the Apothecary with a melee weapon/pistol and a shield and still get the FnP boost.

So, while Smashfucker C:SM was nerfed, they didn't do it to the supplement, plus allowed an easy +1A for the Command Squad to bubble around, not to mention it gives the squad Fearless.

The Bane of Smashfucker

Okay, we've seen what Chapter Master Smashfucker is. How do we effectively counter him? Cheap units that have fearless, eternal warrior, and/or a fuckload of models, namely Hormagaunts from Tervigon or a unit of 50 conscripts with Ministorium Priest attached to them. Note that this tarpitting strategy is only a temporary solution as Smashfucker inflicts around 4 wounds per turn to the tarpit unit, and might also have a retinue to thin it out. The strategy also suffers heavily if Smashfucker just decides to use his mobility to go around the blob. Althought it is quite hard to go around 50 model units as they have the ability to smear themselves over the table. Astra Militarum blobs specifically give CMS problems as he cannot reliably inflict enough wounds, and most likely the blob is going to have primaris psyker attachments that WILL ruin smashfucker's day with their instant death power axes and possible psychic powers etc.

Strength 10 weapons are actually quite good in this regard: even though most rounds blink off 3++ or 2+, the master is still T5 so he gets no FNP, and AP2 or 1 weapons will force him to use his slightly worse 3++ instead of the 2+. This is the primary reason why Lysander and Ghazkhull do so well against him. Also remember that Gorgon's chain loses quite lot of it's power once the master gets wounded, and the third S10 hit will instagib him, having lost Eternal Warrior. Coordinate your weapons fire with this in mind.

Knights will actually give Smashfucker issues, as he only hits at S8 with no extra capabilities for armor penetration, and will have trouble going through AV13 with a 5++ for a Lancer, or 4++ from divination psykers. Meanwhile, D-strength weapons prevent FnP from coming into play, and a roll of 6 is likely to kill outright, as are good stomp results. While the biker command retinue can be a threat (if equipped with melta bombs), decent shooting can thin the scouts out. Also note that knight attacks first, so hope for those 6's!

For Chaos! Maulerfiends with magmacutters can cause pretty gory results if you manage to get one or two of these guys in combat with Smashfucker: S10 and extra attacks from magmacutters will chip off few wounds, and that's all that is needed to deactivate gorgon's chain. A Daemon Prince with Nurgle, Wings, Armor, and Black Mace would ruin Captain Smashfucker pretty good, WS9, I8, 5+D6 Attacks, at S6 AP2, wounding on 2+. While Black Mace's toughness tests are flimsy at best against T5 units, it might get a wound off, but don't bet on it.

On the subject of psychic powers, he also lacks innate psychic defense, although this can be countered somewhat since he is a space marine and so can have a librarian in the same detachment to give access to psychic hoods. Most notable he has no way to counter psychic deathstars that spam invisibility, he may pulp what he hits but if he's only hitting on 6's that will stop him and he will be slowed down by the strategic summoning of demons to block charge lanes. And of course, there's spamming Wraithguard and their Strength D shots as Eldar like a douche.

Smashfucker's biggest bane however is objective based missions in general and Maelstrom of War in particular. While he may destroy what ever he charges, he is not in any way cheap and his "zone of control" (part of the game board he threatens in one turn), is limited to his bike move+average charge, and he can only commit himself to one charge per turn. If a unit takes three turns to finish off, (very likely against big blobs) then he's spent half the game pulping some conscripts/hormagaunts/boyz/guardians/sisters/scouts, and not helping his army. Most likely tho the rest of the CMS's army is tailored to counter what counters Smashfucker (in very "Just as Planned" way) so chances are that you need to get creative with the tarpits or they get squashed out beforehand. However, if you manage to delay Smashfucker and obliterate his anti-tarpit forces then your victory is most assuredly guaranteed since CMS is HQ choice and thusly lacks Objective Secured special rule (because you have it like a good boy, right?).

See the Smashfucker despair as he has that Secure Objective 1 and Domination Maelstorm cards on his hands and sees 40-man conscript blob sitting on objective 1.

Win by objectives!

The Matchups

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28464888/ (The birth of Smashfucker. He's made near the end.)

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28734574/ (Keep in mind that this doesn't factor in the warlord traits, digital weapons, the Betrayer's Bane, or the Tempered Helm.)

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28818975/ (Some recalculations were made. Made some assumptions on Daemon Weapons and on Stalker and Disarming Strike abilities, as well as disregarding any rolled Powers)