Catachan Jungle Fighters

Catachan Jungle Fighters

The Catachan Jungle Fighters are an Imperial Guard army from the Death-world of Catachan. they are noted for among other things having quite possibly the Largest balls in the entire Imperium.

Catachan: A very, very, very, very, very shitty place to live

You think it sucks were you live, hah you know nothing. here are just a few reasons why Catachan is the last place in the entire Galaxy you would want to visit:

• 1/2 the babies die are eaten before they are three.
• 1/2 of the survivors are eaten before they are ten.
• you are on the single deadliest planet in the known universe.
• you are basically living in the perpetual first stages of a Tyranid invasion
• most of the predators on Catachan aren't giant monster's like you'd find on Fenris or Cretaciaoh no those you will usually see before they eat you, Catachan's killers are small things usually just insects which you will almost certainly not see before they try to kill you.
• If the animals don't kill you the Plants will.
• the planets only export is guardsmen.
• your living at several times earths gravity.

Positive side

there are however a good deal of positives that balance out all of the bad things about being a guardsmen from Catachan, you just need to ensure you live long enough to enjoy them.

• you might be led by Colonel "I ate a Miral landshark for breakfast" Straken.
• your muscles will grow so thick you count as having flack armor when not even wearing a shirt.
• you will probably be able to kill Orks with your bare hands, and if that doesn't work you can just stab them with the fucking huge knife you were issued.