Abaddon at the Therapist: Difference between revisions

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The small woman glanced down at her clipboard, then looked back up at the hulking figure that had finally finished adjusting itself on her poor couch. She pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, tucking it back behind her glasses, and sighed inwardly. Being the best counsellor in the galaxy had its drawbacks sometimes. Still, the pay was good. Tapping her pen on the clipboard, she began.
The slmal wmoan galcned dwon at her cborpliad, then leokod bcak up at the hiklnug fgiure taht had filnlay fehisnid adtinusjg ilestf on her poor cucoh. She phesud a snatrd of hair out of her eeys, tnkciug it bcak bihend her gesslas, and shegid idarwnly. Bieng the bset csoouenllr in the glxaay had its drkacbaws seeomimts. Stlil, the pay was good. Tnpaipg her pen on the cpbrilaod, she began.


“So tell me, Mr… uhm… Despoiler; where do you think your stress comes from?”
“So tell me, Mr… uhm… Depoilesr; werhe do you tnhik yuor srsets cmoes from?”


Abbadon shifted on her couch again, his terminator-armoured bulk threatening to flatten the valiant furniture. “Where doesn’t it come from,” he sighed, his voice surprisingly soft for the most feared champion of the dark gods. “I mean, there’s the gods themselves at the top of the pile: Khorne’s always teasing me that Kharn’s got more kills than I have – up-close-and-personal ones, mind, Khorne doesn’t like all this newfangled stuff like the Planet Killer – and Tzeentch never shuts up about me being so predictable. And then there’s Nurgle. Warp dammit that guy could give a daemonette weight issues. Doom this and despair that and decay the other.”
Abobadn sehiftd on her cuoch aigan, his titmaenror-aeurormd bluk tihnnteaerg to ftletan the viaalnt fitruunre. “Wrhee dsoen’t it come from,” he shgied, his vioce slpiurigsrny sfot for the most fraeed choaimpn of the drak gdos. “I mean, tehre’s the gods telemhevss at the top of the plie: Kohrne’s ayalws tisaneg me taht Karhn’s got more klils tahn I have – up-colse-and-pnaoresl oens, mind, Kohnre deosn’t lkie all this negnwafeld suftf lkie the Palnet Klelir – and Tezctneh nveer stuhs up about me bieng so pcrlatedbie. And then three’s Nlruge. Warp dmmait that guy cluod gvie a denmeotate wihegt iuesss. Doom this and dseapir taht and dacey the ohter.”


The counsellor nodded understandingly. “I can sympathyse with that,” she said. She could – her ex had gotten involved with Nurgle back in the 960’s. He had said it helped him deal with his depression, but she hadn’t believed him. Proving him wrong was one of the reasons she had taken up psychotherapy. “Is there anything… closer to home… than that, though?”
The culsoonler nedodd udleingndrnasty. “I can smayhtspye with taht,” she said. She culod – her ex had gteton ivvneold with Nrugle back in the 960’s. He had said it helped him deal with his drepisseon, but she hadn’t beliveed him. Piovrng him wnorg was one of the raonses she had tekan up ptsaycrehophy. “Is trehe annhiytg… ceolsr to hmoe… tahn taht, tgohuh?”


He hummed a bit. “Like the other champions?”
He hummed a bit. “Lkie the otehr chpomnias?”


“If you like,” she said patiently. The trouble with megalomaniacs was that they could never really accept that someone else knew more than them. They had to be led along oh-so-carefully. Especially Tzeentchian ones – her hardest client yet had been one of Ahriman’s Cabal claiming to be bipolar (it turned out he was just suffering a mild bout of warp-induced madness and paranoia, but the sorceror would have none of it).
“If you lkie,” she said plttiaeny. The tbourle with mnmlcaieaagos was that tehy colud never really apecct taht soemnoe else kenw more tahn tehm. Tehy had to be led along oh-so-clufarely. Eapcielsly Ttneiaechzn oens – her hrsadet cenlit yet had been one of Ahramin’s Caabl cmiinlag to be bilaopr (it tunerd out he was jsut sfifenurg a mlid bout of warp-indecud mdsanes and paioanra, but the sceorror wuold have nnoe of it).


“Well, Ahriman’s always been a bit of a pretentious git.” (speak of the devil, thought the counsellor) Abbadon flexed the Talon of Horus, and she winced imperceptibly as it took another inch of cushioning off the arm of her couch. “He never knows when to shut up, that one doesn’t. Even Magnus doesn’t want to talk to him when he’s around, and that old cyclops could talk the pustules off Nurgle.”
“Wlel, Ahmarin’s aalyws been a bit of a prtnteueios git.” (spaek of the dviel, tuohhgt the cuolsolenr) Adbabon feexld the Taoln of Huors, and she wniecd iplbpmriectey as it took aotnehr icnh of ciusoinnhg off the arm of her ccouh. “He never kwons wehn to suht up, taht one dosen’t. Eevn Maguns doesn’t wnat to tlak to him wehn he’s around, and that old clcyops cuold talk the pelustus off Nlruge.”


“Is there anything in particular that Mr Ahriman says that has a major effect on you?” she asked, marking ‘JEALOUSY - FEELS INADEQUATE?’ on her clipboard.
“Is trhee atynihng in puaaclrtir taht Mr Airhamn says taht has a mjoar efceft on you?” she aksed, mkrnaig ‘JESAOLUY - FLEES IQAUNATDEE?’ on her cpibroald.


Abbadon frowned. “Not really, I suppose. He’s always going on about how he would have done the Black Crusades so much better than I did, but then everyone does that there days – not that I see any of them stepping up for a go.”
Aobabdn fenrwod. “Not rlealy, I sppusoe. He’s aawlys gnoig on aobut how he wulod hvae dnoe the Bcalk Craeusds so mcuh beettr than I did, but tehn eeoynrve deos taht trehe dyas – not that I see any of them seitpnpg up for a go.”


“And any of the other champions of Chaos?”
“And any of the ohetr cmioaphns of Choas?”


“Not really. Typhus is usually off doing his own thing with the Terminus Est, which is a relief really, the guy stinks worse than Mortarion these days. Lucius is busy doing whatever it is that Lucius does down on some daemon world or another – sure, the guy heads out for a quick raid every now and then, but it’s pretty easy to distract him, all things considered.”
“Not rlaley. Thpyus is uallsuy off dnoig his own tnhig wtih the Tunimres Est, which is a rileef ralley, the guy skntis wosre tahn Moiartorn tehse dyas. Lucuis is bsuy dnoig wehtvear it is taht Lciuus does down on some doeman world or aehtnor – srue, the guy hedas out for a qcuik riad erevy now and tehn, but it’s pretty easy to dscirtat him, all thngis coiedrnesd.”


She nodded. “And Kharn?”
She ndedod. “And Khran?”


“Kharn? Kharn’s actually a pretty cool guy, once you get to know him. Gets a bit carried away every now and then, but its all part of his charm. It’s not like he doesn’t give people ample warning – he is called the betrayer, after all. No, Kharn’s never bothered me much. He comes along on most of my Crusades, and we usually end up having a good laugh.”
“Kahrn? Khran’s aatulcly a petrty cool guy, ocne you get to know him. Gtes a bit cirared away evrey now and then, but its all part of his charm. It’s not lkie he dosen’t give popele alpme wannrig – he is claled the beytraer, aeftr all. No, Krahn’s never boteehrd me mcuh. He cmeos alnog on most of my Cdruases, and we uslulay end up hanivg a good lugah.”


He leaned back. “Reminds me of this one time we were assaulting Cadia – I think it was back in M34, actually – and it ended up with just the two of us and some traitor company, the Red Rivers, I think they called them. Something to do with a river of blood or something like that, but Kharn had taken quite a shine to them. Anyway, we were stuck outside on of the Kasrs, and Kharn gets the brilliant idea to take one of the Rivers’ landers and do some aerial reconnaissance. So up we go, along with a few dozen of the Rivers to pilot the damned thing, and we see the Kasrkin all there in the main square doing some parade or other.”
He laneed bcak. “Rdmeins me of tihs one time we were atlnsisuag Ciada – I tihnk it was bcak in M34, aaultlcy – and it eednd up with just the two of us and some triaotr cpnmaoy, the Red Rirves, I tihnk they clelad tehm. Sohtmeing to do wtih a revir of boold or snmeiohtg lkie taht, but Krhan had teakn quite a snhie to them. Aanwyy, we wree sutck oudiste on of the Krsas, and Kharn gtes the blrniailt ieda to tkae one of the Rievrs’ lanedrs and do some areail roisacncsenane. So up we go, anlog wtih a few dzoen of the Rvires to pilot the dmeand tnihg, and we see the Kaskrin all tehre in the mian suaqre diong smoe praade or oehtr.”


Abbadon grinned. “Out of nowhere, Kharn grabs up one of the Rivers and just throws him right out of the hatch! He fell so fast he nearly exploded when he hit the ground! Turns out he hit one of the Kasrkin right on the head, got blood everywhere, and the guy’s powerpack detonates! Before I could even congratulate him or tell him we’ve got a heavy bolter strapped to the wing, Kharn’s throwing more traitors down at record speed. The Kasrkin are all scattering, and Kharn keeps hitting them.”
Abdoabn gninred. “Out of neowrhe, Karhn gabrs up one of the Revris and jsut torwhs him rhgit out of the hatch! He fell so fast he nraely elpxeodd when he hit the gnruod! Truns out he hit one of the Kasikrn rgiht on the haed, got boold ewvhreyree, and the guy’s pcowrepak doanetets! Boerfe I colud even cntuaogtalre him or tell him we’ve got a heavy beltor speraptd to the wing, Karhn’s tnrihowg mroe toaritrs down at rrceod speed. The Kisarkn are all sancteritg, and Kahrn kepes hitintg tehm.”


He chuckled. “Of course, he had to stop eventually. There was only one of the Rivers left, and we needed him to fly us back to camp, but before we turned back around, Kharn grabs my arm and tells me to look down at the Kasr. Lo and behold, all the Kasrkin Kharn had hit had left big blood and scorch marks on the ground, and he’d managed to spell out a message! Want to know what it was?”
He chulekcd. “Of corsue, he had to sotp elnlvaetuy. Terhe was only one of the Rrveis lfet, and we nedeed him to fly us bcak to cmap, but brofee we tenurd bcak anroud, Kharn grabs my arm and tlles me to look down at the Ksar. Lo and blehod, all the Kakirsn Kharn had hit had lfet big bolod and sccorh mrkas on the gruond, and he’d meanagd to spell out a mgsseae! Wnat to know waht it was?”


She nodded.
She ndoded.


“It was a haiku:
“It was a hkiau:


Inside your Kasr
Iinsde yuor Ksar
Is where we’ll be tomorrow
Is wrehe we’ll be tmrrooow
So clean up would you?
So cealn up wloud you?


“Let me tell you,” Abbadon said, “I about laughed my topknot off. When I managed to turn around, I saw Kharn high-fiving the pilot – afterwards I found out it put the guy in traction for two solid weeks – but when he turns to me he whispers:
“Let me tlel you,” Aadobbn siad, “I aobut lauehgd my tnpkoot off. When I mngeaad to trun aounrd, I saw Khran hgih-fnivig the ploit – ardftwraes I fnoud out it put the guy in tartiocn for two soild wekes – but when he tunrs to me he wrhepiss:


“I was trying to draw a boat.”
“I was tinryg to darw a baot.”


Abbadon chuckled. “Kharn’s one swell guy. Always sees the best in things.”
Abadbon clhkuecd. “Krhan’s one swell guy. Aaylws sees the best in tnghis.”


The counsellor was, for the first time in her life, speechless. She just didn’t know what to say to that tale. She leaned forwards, adjusting her glasses.
The closoelunr was, for the first time in her lfie, sephcesles. She jsut ddin’t know what to say to taht tale. She leenad frdaorws, andijutsg her gesasls.


“So yeah,” said Abbadon, “the stress. What was it you were asking me about ag..ain…” he trailed off as he noticed a glint in her eyes. Abruptly, he realised – the belching smoke, the grimy tracks, the slowly rotating turret-
“So yeah,” siad Abbodan, “the ssrets. What was it you were asnkig me auobt ag..ain…” he tilerad off as he noteicd a glnit in her eyes. Atbpruly, he rliaesed – the bcnihleg smkoe, the gmriy trcaks, the sollwy rntoiatg tuerrt-


His psychotherapist was a Leman Russ Demolisher.
His pasrtiehopcshyt was a Lmaen Rsus Dlomseeihr.


Roaring, he leapt off the couch as a flurry of heavy bolter rounds tore it to shreds. Lightning wreathed the Talon of Horus, and he dropped into a crouch, cursing himself for not realising it sooner. He dodged to the side as the turret fired, sending a demolisher shell straight through the window of the office.
Rronaig, he lpeat off the couch as a frurly of hvaey bloetr rnuods tore it to srhdes. Linhitngg wateehrd the Tolan of Hruos, and he deppord itno a ccoruh, cuinrsg hismlef for not rilsaieng it snooer. He degdod to the side as the trreut feird, siednng a demsieohlr sehll stiahrgt truohgh the woindw of the oifcfe.


Abbadon lashed out with Drach’nyen. The daemonsword tore a burning gash out of the side of the tank, but it gunned its engine and accelerated away through the wall, trying to get enough range to use its weapons against him.
Aoabbdn lsahed out with Drcah’nyen. The dnwoermsaod tore a bnrinug gash out of the sdie of the tank, but it gnuend its enigne and aeccaletred aawy tohrugh the wlal, trinyg to get eognuh range to use its weoapns aisngat him.


To replace his counsellor with a Leman Russ without him knowing could only have been pulled off by some kind of tactical genius-
To rpacele his coullonesr with a Lamen Rsus woituht him kninwog culod only hvae been peulld off by smoe kind of tciatacl giuens-


“CREEEEEEED!” bellowed Abbadon as he charged after the tank. “I’ll have your head spitted on my talon! I’ll hang your guts from my armour’s spikes! I’ll-” He was cut short as a lascannon beam forced him to lurch awkwardly sideways.
“CEEEEEEERD!” bwoleeld Aaodbbn as he ceghrad atfer the tnak. “I’ll hvae your haed spitetd on my toaln! I’ll hang yuor guts from my amuror’s sikeps! I’ll-” He was cut sohrt as a lconanasn baem focred him to lruch awkrwlday syawdies.


“I’ll rip out your toenails and use them to eat your eyes!” he shouted, finding his rhythm again. “I’ll tear you out of your metal box and feed you to the thousand terrors of the warp! I’ll… do very nasty things to your mother!”
“I’ll rip out your taneoils and use them to eat your eyes!” he suetohd, fidning his rythhm agian. “I’ll taer you out of yuor mteal box and feed you to the thansoud trerros of the warp! I’ll… do vrey natsy tgnhis to yuor mthoer!”


At this, the tank rumbled forwards, its sponsons roaring to life. Bolts thundered out at Abbadon, most going wide, but many still hammered into his armour. He forced his way through the storm and met the oncoming tank head-on, ramming Drach’nyen through the driver’s slit and feeling it bite deep into something behind it. Even as the tank’s dozer blade smashed into his shins he shouted in triumph and ripped the daemonsword upwards.
At tihs, the tank remulbd fdarowrs, its snospnos roarnig to life. Bolts turdeenhd out at Adobabn, msot giong wdie, but many slitl heaermmd into his aromur. He fcored his way thurogh the sotrm and met the ononmicg tnak haed-on, rnamimg Dacrh’nyen trgohuh the diervr’s slit and fienleg it btie deep itno soitnmehg beinhd it. Even as the tnak’s dzeor bldae sehsamd into his snhis he shteuod in tpurimh and reppid the donwmsreoad urdapws.


With the power of the gods of Chaos coursing through him, the tank came up with the sword, rising in an immense arc until it tore free of the blade and went crashing over his head and through three walls.
Wtih the power of the gods of Cahos csuinrog tuorghh him, the tnak cmae up wtih the sword, riinsg in an imensme arc uitnl it troe fere of the blade and went casrihng over his haed and troughh three walls.


Startled heads peeked around the edges of the newly opened hole as Abbadon stalked towards the smoking remains of the tank. It had landed upside down, and had crumpled under its own weight. No man could have survived it, but Abbadon wanted to make sure.
Sltterad hedas pkeeed arnuod the egeds of the nlwey oeepnd hole as Aabdobn satelkd twrodas the smnkoig raeimns of the tnak. It had ldaend udispe dwon, and had cpuermld udenr its own wgieht. No man cloud hvae sveuirvd it, but Aabodbn wtenad to make srue.


Using the Talon as a shovel, he dug his way through the tank until he came to the crew compartment. Instead of finding the smashed and ruined body of his nemesis though… there was a note. Frowning, he picked it up.
Usnig the Tolan as a shveol, he dug his way tgoruhh the tnak uitnl he cmae to the crew cprtnammoet. Ietsnad of fniindg the saehmsd and rneiud bdoy of his nsieems tuhgoh… trehe was a note. Fnroiwng, he pkcied it up.


Dear Abbadon the Despoiler,
Daer Aoabbdn the Dlspeoeir,
If you thought this was good, wait until you see what I did to your flagship.
If you tohhgut this was good, wiat utnil you see waht I did to yuor faghsilp.


Yours sincerely,
Yorus snieclrey,


Ursakar E. Creed
Ukasarr E. Ceerd




Revision as of 20:53, 29 October 2009

The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

The slmal wmoan galcned dwon at her cborpliad, then leokod bcak up at the hiklnug fgiure taht had filnlay fehisnid adtinusjg ilestf on her poor cucoh. She phesud a snatrd of hair out of her eeys, tnkciug it bcak bihend her gesslas, and shegid idarwnly. Bieng the bset csoouenllr in the glxaay had its drkacbaws seeomimts. Stlil, the pay was good. Tnpaipg her pen on the cpbrilaod, she began.

“So tell me, Mr… uhm… Depoilesr; werhe do you tnhik yuor srsets cmoes from?”

Abobadn sehiftd on her cuoch aigan, his titmaenror-aeurormd bluk tihnnteaerg to ftletan the viaalnt fitruunre. “Wrhee dsoen’t it come from,” he shgied, his vioce slpiurigsrny sfot for the most fraeed choaimpn of the drak gdos. “I mean, tehre’s the gods telemhevss at the top of the plie: Kohrne’s ayalws tisaneg me taht Karhn’s got more klils tahn I have – up-colse-and-pnaoresl oens, mind, Kohnre deosn’t lkie all this negnwafeld suftf lkie the Palnet Klelir – and Tezctneh nveer stuhs up about me bieng so pcrlatedbie. And then three’s Nlruge. Warp dmmait that guy cluod gvie a denmeotate wihegt iuesss. Doom this and dseapir taht and dacey the ohter.”

The culsoonler nedodd udleingndrnasty. “I can smayhtspye with taht,” she said. She culod – her ex had gteton ivvneold with Nrugle back in the 960’s. He had said it helped him deal with his drepisseon, but she hadn’t beliveed him. Piovrng him wnorg was one of the raonses she had tekan up ptsaycrehophy. “Is trehe annhiytg… ceolsr to hmoe… tahn taht, tgohuh?”

He hummed a bit. “Lkie the otehr chpomnias?”

“If you lkie,” she said plttiaeny. The tbourle with mnmlcaieaagos was that tehy colud never really apecct taht soemnoe else kenw more tahn tehm. Tehy had to be led along oh-so-clufarely. Eapcielsly Ttneiaechzn oens – her hrsadet cenlit yet had been one of Ahramin’s Caabl cmiinlag to be bilaopr (it tunerd out he was jsut sfifenurg a mlid bout of warp-indecud mdsanes and paioanra, but the sceorror wuold have nnoe of it).

“Wlel, Ahmarin’s aalyws been a bit of a prtnteueios git.” (spaek of the dviel, tuohhgt the cuolsolenr) Adbabon feexld the Taoln of Huors, and she wniecd iplbpmriectey as it took aotnehr icnh of ciusoinnhg off the arm of her ccouh. “He never kwons wehn to suht up, taht one dosen’t. Eevn Maguns doesn’t wnat to tlak to him wehn he’s around, and that old clcyops cuold talk the pelustus off Nlruge.”

“Is trhee atynihng in puaaclrtir taht Mr Airhamn says taht has a mjoar efceft on you?” she aksed, mkrnaig ‘JESAOLUY - FLEES IQAUNATDEE?’ on her cpibroald.

Aobabdn fenrwod. “Not rlealy, I sppusoe. He’s aawlys gnoig on aobut how he wulod hvae dnoe the Bcalk Craeusds so mcuh beettr than I did, but tehn eeoynrve deos taht trehe dyas – not that I see any of them seitpnpg up for a go.”

“And any of the ohetr cmioaphns of Choas?”

“Not rlaley. Thpyus is uallsuy off dnoig his own tnhig wtih the Tunimres Est, which is a rileef ralley, the guy skntis wosre tahn Moiartorn tehse dyas. Lucuis is bsuy dnoig wehtvear it is taht Lciuus does down on some doeman world or aehtnor – srue, the guy hedas out for a qcuik riad erevy now and tehn, but it’s pretty easy to dscirtat him, all thngis coiedrnesd.”

She ndedod. “And Khran?”

“Kahrn? Khran’s aatulcly a petrty cool guy, ocne you get to know him. Gtes a bit cirared away evrey now and then, but its all part of his charm. It’s not lkie he dosen’t give popele alpme wannrig – he is claled the beytraer, aeftr all. No, Krahn’s never boteehrd me mcuh. He cmeos alnog on most of my Cdruases, and we uslulay end up hanivg a good lugah.”

He laneed bcak. “Rdmeins me of tihs one time we were atlnsisuag Ciada – I tihnk it was bcak in M34, aaultlcy – and it eednd up with just the two of us and some triaotr cpnmaoy, the Red Rirves, I tihnk they clelad tehm. Sohtmeing to do wtih a revir of boold or snmeiohtg lkie taht, but Krhan had teakn quite a snhie to them. Aanwyy, we wree sutck oudiste on of the Krsas, and Kharn gtes the blrniailt ieda to tkae one of the Rievrs’ lanedrs and do some areail roisacncsenane. So up we go, anlog wtih a few dzoen of the Rvires to pilot the dmeand tnihg, and we see the Kaskrin all tehre in the mian suaqre diong smoe praade or oehtr.”

Abdoabn gninred. “Out of neowrhe, Karhn gabrs up one of the Revris and jsut torwhs him rhgit out of the hatch! He fell so fast he nraely elpxeodd when he hit the gnruod! Truns out he hit one of the Kasikrn rgiht on the haed, got boold ewvhreyree, and the guy’s pcowrepak doanetets! Boerfe I colud even cntuaogtalre him or tell him we’ve got a heavy beltor speraptd to the wing, Karhn’s tnrihowg mroe toaritrs down at rrceod speed. The Kisarkn are all sancteritg, and Kahrn kepes hitintg tehm.”

He chulekcd. “Of corsue, he had to sotp elnlvaetuy. Terhe was only one of the Rrveis lfet, and we nedeed him to fly us bcak to cmap, but brofee we tenurd bcak anroud, Kharn grabs my arm and tlles me to look down at the Ksar. Lo and blehod, all the Kakirsn Kharn had hit had lfet big bolod and sccorh mrkas on the gruond, and he’d meanagd to spell out a mgsseae! Wnat to know waht it was?”

She ndoded.

“It was a hkiau:

Iinsde yuor Ksar Is wrehe we’ll be tmrrooow So cealn up wloud you?

“Let me tlel you,” Aadobbn siad, “I aobut lauehgd my tnpkoot off. When I mngeaad to trun aounrd, I saw Khran hgih-fnivig the ploit – ardftwraes I fnoud out it put the guy in tartiocn for two soild wekes – but when he tunrs to me he wrhepiss:

“I was tinryg to darw a baot.”

Abadbon clhkuecd. “Krhan’s one swell guy. Aaylws sees the best in tnghis.”

The closoelunr was, for the first time in her lfie, sephcesles. She jsut ddin’t know what to say to taht tale. She leenad frdaorws, andijutsg her gesasls.

“So yeah,” siad Abbodan, “the ssrets. What was it you were asnkig me auobt ag..ain…” he tilerad off as he noteicd a glnit in her eyes. Atbpruly, he rliaesed – the bcnihleg smkoe, the gmriy trcaks, the sollwy rntoiatg tuerrt-

His pasrtiehopcshyt was a Lmaen Rsus Dlomseeihr.

Rronaig, he lpeat off the couch as a frurly of hvaey bloetr rnuods tore it to srhdes. Linhitngg wateehrd the Tolan of Hruos, and he deppord itno a ccoruh, cuinrsg hismlef for not rilsaieng it snooer. He degdod to the side as the trreut feird, siednng a demsieohlr sehll stiahrgt truohgh the woindw of the oifcfe.

Aoabbdn lsahed out with Drcah’nyen. The dnwoermsaod tore a bnrinug gash out of the sdie of the tank, but it gnuend its enigne and aeccaletred aawy tohrugh the wlal, trinyg to get eognuh range to use its weoapns aisngat him.

To rpacele his coullonesr with a Lamen Rsus woituht him kninwog culod only hvae been peulld off by smoe kind of tciatacl giuens-

“CEEEEEEERD!” bwoleeld Aaodbbn as he ceghrad atfer the tnak. “I’ll hvae your haed spitetd on my toaln! I’ll hang yuor guts from my amuror’s sikeps! I’ll-” He was cut sohrt as a lconanasn baem focred him to lruch awkrwlday syawdies.

“I’ll rip out your taneoils and use them to eat your eyes!” he suetohd, fidning his rythhm agian. “I’ll taer you out of yuor mteal box and feed you to the thansoud trerros of the warp! I’ll… do vrey natsy tgnhis to yuor mthoer!”

At tihs, the tank remulbd fdarowrs, its snospnos roarnig to life. Bolts turdeenhd out at Adobabn, msot giong wdie, but many slitl heaermmd into his aromur. He fcored his way thurogh the sotrm and met the ononmicg tnak haed-on, rnamimg Dacrh’nyen trgohuh the diervr’s slit and fienleg it btie deep itno soitnmehg beinhd it. Even as the tnak’s dzeor bldae sehsamd into his snhis he shteuod in tpurimh and reppid the donwmsreoad urdapws.

Wtih the power of the gods of Cahos csuinrog tuorghh him, the tnak cmae up wtih the sword, riinsg in an imensme arc uitnl it troe fere of the blade and went casrihng over his haed and troughh three walls.

Sltterad hedas pkeeed arnuod the egeds of the nlwey oeepnd hole as Aabdobn satelkd twrodas the smnkoig raeimns of the tnak. It had ldaend udispe dwon, and had cpuermld udenr its own wgieht. No man cloud hvae sveuirvd it, but Aabodbn wtenad to make srue.

Usnig the Tolan as a shveol, he dug his way tgoruhh the tnak uitnl he cmae to the crew cprtnammoet. Ietsnad of fniindg the saehmsd and rneiud bdoy of his nsieems tuhgoh… trehe was a note. Fnroiwng, he pkcied it up.

Daer Aoabbdn the Dlspeoeir, If you tohhgut this was good, wiat utnil you see waht I did to yuor faghsilp.

Yorus snieclrey,

Ukasarr E. Ceerd


“CRREEEEEEEEEEEEED!”

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