Busty Barbarian Bimbos

Braindead Bimbo Barbarians is an in-progress /tg/ homebrew system where the players take on the roles of the titular characters in a "swords and sluttery" setting. Everything here is, at best, an early beta.

SLUT Engine

Slap: is a Bimbo's physical strings and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics. Legs: is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc. Uhm: is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic. Tits: is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.

These stats have a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 6 (though items and temporary mods can change this). When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stat. For an easy check, the player rolls 1d6. For a medium check, the player rolls 2d6, and the player rolls 3d6 for a difficult check. In all checks, if all dice rolled are equal to or below the bimbo's stat, she succeeds.

Character Creation

To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. Subtract the total from 19, and whatever is left over becomes her Titties. This process cannot take any stat over 6, so randomly assign any points that are left over. Bimbos have HP equal to their Titties score, and a base movement speed of 3.

Next, choose two of the following features.

Abilities

Rawr

When you grab an enemy, you cannot let go or be forced to let go while that enemy is capable of fighting back. Neither you nor this enemy may attack or be attacked by other characters.

Oh No You Didn't

When hit by an enemy, you may sacrifice a piece of your equipment. Gain +2 damage against that enemy permanently.

Wardrobe Malfunction

When hit by an enemy, you may sacrifice a piece of your equipment to negate the effects of the attack.

Watch Where You're Going

If an adjacent allied bimbo misses an attack, you may make a medium Slap check. On a success, both you and the allied bimbo lose 1 HP, and she may reroll the attack against a different target at difficulty reduced by 1.

Upstage

If an allied bimbo is in melee combat, you may move into her square on a successful medium difficulty titties check (causing the bimbo to leave her square as directed by her player). For this turn, the difficulty of attacking the allied bimbo's former target in melee is reduced by one. For her, it is increased by one.

Flash

When you would be hit by an attack from an appropriately oriented enemy, force a re-roll. Lose any abilities and modifiers attached to your top until the end of your next turn. In order to use this, you must be wearing a top that grants abilities or modifiers.

Cleave

When you kill someone in melee combat, you may attack again.

Flex

When you would make a Titties check, make a Slap check instead. On a failure, lose 1HP.

Bounce

When someone physically forces you to move successfully, you may make a medium Titties check. On a success, you stay put and the attacker is pushed equally in the opposite direction.

The GM may choose to allow starting equipment as well, usually a weapon and a generic, poor quality outfit that provides no modifiers.

NPCs

NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (6)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and horde treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs have HP equal to their one stat, and may have special abilities as well.

Combat

To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check. Damage dealt is determined by the weapon, with 1 as the standard unarmed attack damage, and most weapons doing either 2 or 3.

Equipment Generation Tables

To generate equipment using these tables, start with the sentence at the top and roll d6s to fill in the brackets. These tables are an optional tool for the DM.

Shoes

This is a pair of [shoe size] [base material] [base shoes]. They are [heel type] [decoration type] [decoration number].

Shoe Size 1: ankle high 2: mid calf 3: below the knee 4: knee high 5: above the knee 6: thigh high

Base Materials 1: iron 2: steel 3: chrome 4: brass 5: black leather 6: brown leather

Base Shoes 1-2:[shoe size] sandals 1-2 3-4:[shoe size] boots 3-4 5-6:pumps 5-6

Heel Type 1: flats (-2 Titties, +1 Legs) 2: short wedges (-1 Titties, -1 Slap, +1 Uhm) 3: high wedges (-2 Slap, +1 Titties) 4: stilettos (-1 movement speed, -1 Legs, +2 damage to prone targets) 5: platforms (-1 movement speed, -1 Legs, +1 Slap) 6: stilettos, with platformed toes (-1 movement speed, -1 Legs, +1 Titties)

Decoration Type 1: studded with [decoration material] 2: lined with [lining type] 3: encircled by bands of [base materials] 4: menacing with spikes of [decoration material] 5: decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material] 6: decorated by hanging rings of [base material]

Decoration Material 1: cubic zirconia 2: iron 3: steel 4: chrome 5: brass 6: rhinestones

Lining Type 1: fur 2: tiger print fabric 3: leopard print fabric 4: zebra print fabric 5: wool 6: leather

Image Type 1: a skull 2: a heart 3: foreign calligraphy 4: the designer's mark 5: a diamond 6: an eye

Decoration number: 1-3: Add new decoration. 4-6: End.

Bottoms

BOTTOMS This is a [base material][base bottoms]. It is [decoration type][decoration number].

Base Material 1: iron 2: steel 3: chrome 4: brass 5: black leather 6: brown leather

Base Bottoms 1: thong 2: miniskirt (Slap-2, Legs+1) 3: loincloth (Titties -2, Slap +1) 4: pair of hotpants (Uhm-2, Legs+1) 5: skirt (Legs-2, Uhm+1) 6: pair of panties (Slap-2, Titties+1)

Decoration Type 1: studded with [decoration material] 2: lined with [lining type] 3: encircled by bands of [base materials] 4: menacing with spikes of [decoration material] 5: decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material] 6: decorated by hanging rings of [base material]

Decoration Material 1: cubic zirconia 2: iron 3: steel 4: chrome 5: brass 6: rhinestones

Lining Type 1: fur 2: tiger print fabric 3: leopard print fabric 4: zebra print fabric 5: wool 6: leather

Image Type 1: a skull 2: a heart 3: foreign calligraphy 4: the designer's mark 5: a diamond 6: an eye

Decoration number: 1-3: Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished. 4-6: End.

Tops

This is a [base material][base tops]. [Pauldron Base] It is [decoration type][decoration number].

Base Material 1: iron 2: steel 3: chrome 4: brass 5: black leather 6: brown leather

Base Tops 1: bodice (-2 Slap, +1 Titties) 2: tube (-2 Legs, +1 Titties) 3: string bikini top (-1 Titties, -1 Legs, +1 Slap) 4: chestplate (-2 Uhm, 1 DR when not flanked) 5: bra (-2 Titties, +1 Legs) 6: halter top (-2 Titties, +1 Uhm)

Pauldron Base 1: Skip. 2: It has one small [Base Material] pauldrons attached. 3: It has two small [Base Material] pauldrons attached. 4: It has one large [Base Material] pauldrons attached. 5: It has two large [Base Material] pauldrons attached. 6: It has one large and one small [Base Material] pauldrons attached.

Decoration Type 1: studded with [decoration material] 2: lined with [lining type] 3: encircled by bands of [base materials] 4: menacing with spikes of [decoration material] 5: decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material] 6: decorated by hanging rings of [base material]

Decoration Material 1: cubic zirconia 2: iron 3: steel 4: chrome 5: brass 6: rhinestones

Lining Type 1: fur 2: tiger print fabric 3: leopard print fabric 4: zebra print fabric 5: wool 6: leather

Image Type 1: a skull 2: a heart 3: foreign calligraphy 4: the designer's mark 5: a diamond 6: an eye

Decoration number: 1-3: Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished. 4-6: End.

Accessories

This is a [base material][base accessory].

Base Material 1: iron 2: steel 3: chrome 4: brass 5: black leather 6: brown leather

Base Accessory 1: pair of glasses. (-2 Titties, +1 Uhm) It is [decoration type][decoration number]. 2: bag. (-1 Titties, holds items when not in use) It is [decoration type][decoration number]. 3: [Headwear Type]. It is [decoration type][decoration number]. 4: ring. (-2 Uhm, +1 Slap) It is [decoration type][decoration number]. 5: [Bracelet Type]. It is [decoration type][decoration number]. 6: [Necklace Type]. It is [decoration type][decoration number].

Headwear Type 1: crown (-2 Slap, +1 Titties) 2: tiara (-2 Legs, +1 Titties) 3: headband (-2 Titties, +1 Legs) 4: skullcap (-2 Titties, +1 Uhm) 5: helmet (-2 Titties, +1 Slap) 6: hair tie (-2 Slap, +1 Legs)

Bracelet Type 1: [Glove length] glove (-2 Legs, +1 Uhm) 2: bracer (-2 Titties, +1 Slap) 3: wristband (-2 Titties, +1 Legs) 4: armguard (-2 Slap, +1 Legs) 5: armband (-2 Legs, +1 Slap) 6: elbow pad (-2 Titties, +1 Slap)

Glove Length: 1-2: wrist length 3-4: elbow length 5-6: shoulder length

Necklace Type 1: collar (-2 Uhm, +1 Titties) 2: choker (-2 Legs, +1 Slap) 3: necklace (-2 Legs, +1 Titties) 4: neck guard (-2 Titties, +1 Slap) 5: ruffle (-2 Slap, +1 Titties) 6: tie (-2 Slap, +1 Uhm)

Decoration Type 1: studded with [decoration material] 2: lined with [lining type] 3: encircled by bands of [base materials] 4: menacing with spikes of [decoration material] 5: decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material] 6: decorated by hanging rings of [base material]

Decoration Material 1: cubic zirconia 2: iron 3: steel 4: chrome 5: brass 6: rhinestones

Lining Type 1: fur 2: tiger print fabric 3: leopard print fabric 4: zebra print fabric 5: wool 6: leather

Image Type 1: a skull 2: a heart 3: foreign calligraphy 4: the designer's mark 5: a diamond 6: an eye

Decoration number: 1-3: Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished. 4-6: End.

Heavy Weapons

This is a [weapon material][base weapon][decoration type][decoration number]. The grip is made of [lining type].

Weapon material: 1-2: iron 3-4: steel 5-6: bronze

Base Weapon: 1: [sword type] sword (2 damage) 2: [axe type] axe (3 damage, Titties -1) 3: [hammer type] hammer (3 damage, Titties -1) 4: [flail type] flail (3 damage, Titties -1) 5: [mace type] mace (3 damage, Titties -1) 6: [spear type] spear (2 damage, Titties -1, reach)

Sword Type: 1: straight bladed, single edged 2: straight bladed, double edged 3: curved bladed, single edged 4: curved bladed, double edged 5: wave bladed 6: serrated

Axe type: 1: single bladed 2: single bladed, bearded 3: double bladed 4: double bladed, bearded 5: single bladed, spiked 6: single bladed, bearded, spiked

Hammer Type 1: single headed, round 2: single headed, square 3: single headed, round, spiked 4: single headed, square, spiked 5: double headed, round 6: double headed, square

Flail Type 1: single headed 2: spiked 3: flanged 4: triple headed 5: triple headed, spiked 6: triple headed, flanged

Mace Type 1: round 2: flanged 3: studded 4: spiked 5: headless, spiked 5: banded

Spear Type 1: broad headed 2: narrow headed 3: flanged 4: barred 5: serrated 6: barbed

Decoration Type 1: studded with [decoration material] 2: lined with [lining type] 3: encircled by bands of [base materials] 4: menacing with spikes of [decoration material] 5: decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material] 6: decorated by hanging rings of [base material]

Base Material 1: iron 2: steel 3: chrome 4: brass 5: black leather 6: brown leather

Decoration Material 1: cubic zirconia 2: iron 3: steel 4: chrome 5: brass 6: rhinestones

Lining Type 1: fur 2: tiger print fabric 3: leopard print fabric 4: zebra print fabric 5: wool 6: leather

Image Type 1: a skull 2: a heart 3: foreign calligraphy 4: the designer's mark 5: a diamond 6: an eye

Decoration number: 1-3: Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished. 4-6: End.

Light Weapons

This is a [base weapon], [decoration type][decoration number].

Base Weapon 1-2: [Dagger Type] dagger (1 damage, 2 when flanking, can be thrown without penalty) 3-4: [Whip Type] whip (1 damage, reach, can trip, grab, and disarm without penalty) 5-6: [Bow Type] bow (1 damage, ranged)

Dagger Type 1: long bladed 2: short bladed 3: wave bladed 4: serrated 5: tapered 6: broad bladed

Whip Type 1: weighted 2: black leather 3: brown leather 4: multi-tailed 5: barbed 6: woven

Bow Type 1: flat 2: short 3: long 4: decurve 5: recurve 6: composite

Decoration Type 1: studded with [decoration material] 2: lined with [lining type] 3: encircled by bands of [base materials] 4: menacing with spikes of [decoration material] 5: decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material] 6: decorated by hanging rings of [base material]

Base Material 1: iron 2: steel 3: chrome 4: brass 5: black leather 6: brown leather

Decoration Material 1: cubic zirconia 2: iron 3: steel 4: chrome 5: brass 6: rhinestones

Lining Type 1: fur 2: tiger print fabric 3: leopard print fabric 4: zebra print fabric 5: wool 6: leather

Image Type 1: a skull 2: a heart 3: foreign calligraphy 4: the designer's mark 5: a diamond 6: an eye

Decoration number: 1-3: Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished. 4-6: End.