Owlbear

This article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, or Wizards of the Coast hiring the fucking Pinkertons over a children’s card game. If you proceed, consider yourself warned.

D'AWWWWW

"when an Owl and a bear love each other very much..."

"you get an Owlbear"

An Owlbear is what you get when some bored (or very drunk) wizard combines a bear and an owl, and they have been a staple Dungeons & Dragons monster since the first edition. Although they look very cute, plushy, and lovable, they are in fact purebred killers. Once you walk up to one for a hug, you will be immediately improved grabbed and mauled with cuteness until you expire. It's like that one episode of Spongebob where Squidward gets attacked by a sea bear (several times). They WILL fuck your shit up.

Not as dangerous as the fearsome Ducksnake, or the dreaded Manbearpig.

If someone asks for the stats of a non-/tg/ character, expect someone to paste the D&D 3.5 owl bear stats.

Some try to make Owlbears scarier by making the name "the best description for a rare, fucked up looking monster", similar to the various mythical beasts like the Chimera or Sphinx, or various cryptids.

Notably, it took five fucking editions for artists to realize that it should probably be given a head that actually looks like that of an owl, as opposed to an eagle, as can be seen in the gallery. This is because the owlbear wasn't originally meant to be a bear with an owl's head, but a bipedal creature modeled off of one of the cheap plastic "dinosaur" toys (it looks kind of like a kappa) Gygax used as miniatures (the same origin as the Rust Monster and Bulette).

See Also

• Owlbears - the RPG

Gallery

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

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  The original owlbear. Made in Hong Kong.

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  Greyhawk supplement

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