Orion in Review

Orion Acaba was well known for his odd behavior on the set of Critical Role. In 2021 an anon on /tg/ decided to watch all 26 episodes of Critical Role that Orion was on and go over the highs and lows of each episode.

Orion in Review

Episode 01

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-p9lWIhcLQ

An honest look back.

PROS: Orion's humor seems to be enjoyed by everyone at the table.

1:13:48 Matt: "Do you hear me, Dragonborn?" Orion: I mean, yes, my hearing is perfectly fine. Table: laughter

1:46:27 Matt recounts to the audience about an incident that happened before they started streaming - the near-rape of Tiberius while in Troll form - and that's why the group has a Troll dick in their Bag of Holding.

1:48:00 Matt: "Citizen? I haven't seen you about. What's your name?" Orion: Oh, my name is Tiberius Kraghammer. Table: much laughter Sam: Like Johnny New York.

2:15:10 Matt: "She's stepped on a few toes around this place." Orion: Oh, is she clumsy? Table: quiet laughter.

CONS: • Orion is constantly eating and drinking, sometimes continuing even while speaking during his turn. • Orion casually throws a fireball into a mixed group of enemies and allies, killing two friendly dwarves.

2:23:25 Matt: "... you see three goblins fall off a nearby dwarf who goes, "Thank-" At which point a large fireball explodes, killing off about ten or so of the goblins, and probably two of the dwarves. Orion: Sorry about that. Matt: The guards stopped. Sam: Did you do that? Orion: Yeah. Sam: Fuck.

BONUS HUMOR (Marisha) 2:58:28 Marisha: Then I'm going to turn into an eagle. Marisha: And I fly ... awaaay. (laughter) Marisha: Far. far. away. Sam: Tell our story, Keyleth.

BONUS FACT This episode saw Sam, after 2 years of previous play, finally make a killing blow on a monster, for the first time ever.

Episode 02

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTie0S_5gjE

PROS: 25:30 Orion reminds the group they need to take a short rest (they do). 30:38 Orion asks if there is a map of the mines (there is). Good thinking, Orion!

49:30 Orion: "My name is Tiberius Stormwind and these are my friends." Matt: "[The Dwarf] puts his hand up and there is no sound coming out." Orion seamlessly shifts to silently mouthing the rest of his conversation. Table: laughs (especially Liam and Travis)

2:37:34 (In a frenzy, Grog has rushed ahead and been ambushed, the sound of a struggle and Grog's cry of pain is heard.) Matt: "Tiberius?" Orion: (Extremely dry and low-key) Oh. It seems there's trouble over there. Table: laughs

PUSH: • Orion starts the stream eating+drinking to excess like Ep01. Despite THREE cups of something directly in front of him and a bottle of water to his left, he reaches behind him for a bottle of beer(?). While feigning interest in Matt's convo, he continues to mess with the bottle of beer below the table until it opens with a noticeable gaseous pop, interrupting everyone (around 17:55). But this happens right after Matt's character said "please shut the door" and Orion makes the save with the improv "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to slam the door." Oh, Tiberius! Orion then alternates between drinking from the bottle, then from teh cup. (What? Why?)

CONS: nothing notable.

BONUS HUMOR 52:30 Keyleth (using a "dwarven" accent): "Halloo." Table: laughter, Travis especially

BONUS Melty Meltdown 1:57:13 Taliesin: "So my move so there since I can't move I'm just gonna I'm gonna so yeah my move my movement my uh my uh minor just gonna be fixing my uh yeah."

Orion Episode Grade: PASS

Episode 03

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpkCcb--r90

PROS: 11:45 To help intimidate a prisoner, Tiberius ramps up the pressure. Orion: I use my mage hand to poke her face. Table: laughs

CONS: 1:55:00 Vax becomes mentally incapacitated (by an Illithid) as he falls into a chasm. Orion is staring right at Matt as Matt describes the numbness overtaking Vax, and Liam pantomimes the blank stare and falling. Orion: Don't bother. (makes motion that he's flying to Vax). Is he conscious? Matt: "He's just staring up at this moment." (Matt's body language clearly shows that Vax is unresponsive) Orion: Okay. I go just to touch him [to cast Fly on Vax], not pull him up. Now Fly dammit! Matt: As you cast Fly [on Vax], -your- Fly spell dissipates because its a concentration spell. Orion: Wait, you're unconscious? I asked if he was conscious! [getting upset] Then I don't do that!

(THOUGHTS in a follow-up post.)

33:23 SHOCKING CHUBS! THIS BLEW MY MIND As Tiberius is being serious in complimenting Keyleth on her being able to revive Grog, the following is said...

Marisha: "I had Pike in mind. I channeled her energy." Sam: "It was quite astounding. I have a little chub on." Travis: "So do I for some reason."

HOLY SHIT!

Well, it was Orion's delivery that-

No, no, that sounds too simple. It allows Orion to be tarred and feathered while the dastardly crimes of Sam and Travis are white-washed. NAY! I say. HYPROCRISY! Whatever anyone may hold against Orion, let History show that it can't -just- be saying "chub". After seeing this episode, that doesn't seem fair. When the time comes, we will compare Orion's "chub" episode to this episode, and make a judgement.

BONUS FACT Orion Acaba was born in Hollywood, CA

Orion Episode Grade: Learning To Fly Sam and Travis Grade: CHUBBED

Episode 04

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGxiZNbjwGI

PROS: none

CONS 1:19:03 While the group is preparing, Matt has to remind Orion again about casting two concentration spells. Orion: Oh, right, so I don't cast it then. Matt: "Keep that in mind."

2:04:05 Orion casts a Pillar spell, the enemies save, and Orion tells Matt they still take damage. They should not. A save means they avoid being lifted, thus avoiding damage when thrust into a ceiling. FURTHERMORE, Orion piggybacks the Pillar spell with sorcery points to cast a Quickened Spell, so he must now use a cantrip, but instead casts a 4th level Blight spell.

BONUS HUMOR 1:09:06 The group prepares for the coming battle. Travis: (enunciating clearly) "The human torch was denied a bank loan." Table: Sam laughed, seemed to especially enjoy it.

Orion Episode Grade: Duergaring himself into a hole

Episode 05

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6QpXDL7E8Y

PROS: none

CONS: none

In terms of review material, this was a quiet episode. Sam was absent, and most of the episode was tactical combat. I think Orion played clean with his slots and sorc.points, and he was a positive energy for the table. However, there was a moment ...

NOT THE RESULT THAT WAS HOPED FOR 47:30 (while HIGH IN THE MIDDLE of the vast cavern as some characters suddenly find themselves falling to their death) Orion: I cast Glacial Blast to create an Ice Bridge which scoops them up. Matt: (is having none of it) "You guys are out in the middle of the open cavern, there's no place to connect the bridge, so you're essentially creating a giant ice .. chunk .. right beneath them .. which is also in free-fall." Orion: No! Matt: "Yes." (there would be no re-do's that day) Orion: (evolving expression as he realized his actions would stand, and Matt had moved on to other players)

BONUS HUMOR 2:02:56 Matt: "It's his first time casting spells." (mouthing to the camera "No it's not")

Orion Episode Grade: PASS

Episode 06

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cemCmD27Rnc

PROS:

PUSH: 2:20:06 Orion tries to cast a Hold Person on an enemy he doesn't know exists, and if he did, he still couldn't get line-of-sight through 3 people, in a crowded hallway, and around a corner. He saves the moment by quipping, "I encourage violence." The table really laughs.

CONS 31:30 Orion spends a lot of time texting someone outside the cast, mugging/laughing silently at the replies. Later in 1st half, Staff off-camera (silently) direct Orion's attention to it because you see Orion look up and say "(something something) my phone" and blow it off. The phone is gone after the break.

1:57:30 Cast tension with Orion. Orion quietly begins to ask a question, and everyone goes "Shhh!" Orion: Oh, I'm sorry. But soon (2:05:50 - 2:06:12) Marisha and Orion share a happy moment.

BONUS DAD JOKE 00:58:24 Liam: "When we get back to the group, I'm going to toss the arm to Grog." Travis: "Thanks for the hand." ... "No negative anything, that was a good joke!"

BONUS DARK HUMOR 1:22:00 Marisha decides to run up from behind and push a Duergar into a lava pool. Keyleth: "This is the meanest thing I've ever done!" Laura: "No, no, remember you killed that kid one time!"

1:38:15 Sam: "Guys, I'm sensing a lot of purple and brown construction paper." Liam: "That's your favored terrain, right?" Table: laughs

Episode 07

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGs3bOX4XFQ (This may need a couple of parts as there's plenty to note about Orion's play)

The one where Orion isn't going to count that

PROS: 22:11 Matt describes sounds on the ceiling coming to a stop directly overhead, then silence for a minute. Orion: Maybe they went to sleep. Sam: laughs It's a small joke, but if you make Sam laugh, you're doing it right.

CONS: 33:40 Orion: As that happens, I want to cast Mage Hand and I want to cast Light on it and I want to slowly have it drift- Matt: "They're both concentration spells ... and Mage Hand isn't an actual object." Orion: Okay then, I'll cast Prestidigitation and create a small little glowy orb ..." There's no excuse for this anymore. Orion's been warned several times about casting 2 concentration spells, and now he's casting a spell that doesn't create the effect he's detailing. He has the Light cantrip. He has the Mage Hand cantrip. Why doesn't he just cast Light on a small object and then use the Mage Hand to move the object? Hard Fail.

35:30 Orion: Wait, I'm behind the bear ... Matt, I'm behind the bear. Matt: (you can hear Matt's tone changing) "Move behind the bear? ... You are right there, they both see you." (exposing Tiberius in the corridor in sight of the Duergar) Orion: No, on the other side of the bear. Matt: (Looks toward the battlemap, turns back to face Orion, voice raised) "As you're walking all this transpires simultaneously." Orion: (semi-pleading) I was moving with him. Matt: "Right."

52:15 Orion has pushed through the crowd in the hall, passed Vax in the corridor, and stood alone at the intersection, cast Prestidigitation as a Light spell (again! C'mon, Matt!), alerted 2 duergar to his presence, and they rapidly advance for combat. Orion: I'll cast blur (rolls initiative) I'm not gonna count that. (rolls again) I'll count that. 19. Sam: (leans back in his chair, clearly aware that Orion is cheating) Matt: "Why didn't you count that?" Orion: Because if flew out of my hand. (it did not) Matt: "ok. all right." (matt doesn't want to cause a scene on stream)

1:01:55 Orion: As everyone is doing this, I go, "Why are you blocking me? I'm not supposed to be this close to this thing!" Matt: "Tiberius, you're up." Orion: Like I was saying ... um (pause), uh well, shit, (pause), um, aah, I, can I, (unintelligible noises), hmm ... Matt: (getting tired of Orion this episode so far) "Make it quick or I'm going to move to the next turn." Orion: Um, okay, I'll do, uh, I'll just lift up my hand and do firebolt. (was that so hard?)

1:28:00 The group has split in two, but seemingly no real danger lurking from Matt. Vax has moved to one side of the battlemap and is inspecting a room with a statue. Sam is behind in the other group, preparing to open a door. Orion decides he wants to see the statue room, tells Matt, and Matt moves Orion's figure allll the way across the battlemap to where the statue room is (Matt is playing it loose to move things along). Sam opens his door on the opposite side of the battle map, and spies an encounter ready to happen. Suddenly. Orion: I look over there [in Sam's room], too. Marisha points out why he can't look over there, and Orion gets frustrated, clearly giving Marisha a look that says, I can't believe you aren't on my side letting me cheat. Play continues, and there is noise in Sam's room. Orion: As I hear the noise- Matt: You don't hear the noise, you're too far away. Orion: (unintelligible)... cupcake.

Is Orion cheating with sorcery points? Yes. Tiberius was 9th level in this session, so that means he had 9 sorcery points when fully rested. Matt asked at one time how many sorcery points Orion had, and Orion truthfully pointed out that he was at max because he hadn't used any. Once he had Matt satisfied, that's when he struck. He had used 2 points casting a Quickened spell when facing the 2 Duergar that had boxed him in, and after that he used 3 more points (casting a Grand Pillar spell?).

There was momentary confusion. Why? He said he had 6 points left. Why? Because he cheated and didn't mark off the Quickened spell from earlier! Marisha looked over at his sheet, and counted up from his (deliberately confusing) marks on his sheet that he had 5 points. Orion said something about "oh, math" shoulder shrug. And that's because he should have had 4 points, so by agreeing with Marisha, he was still getting away with an extra point.

THE SECOND HALF

PROS: 2:15:30 Orion comes up with a great idea of appearing to the Duergar as their god.

2:28:50 Orion casts Watery Sphere when everyone thought he was just going to peek around the corner. Disaster? It had all the makings, but NO! All the duergar fail their save and they are all swept up in the sphere!

The Marisha Situation For the first time, we see "Second Half" Marisha. She is extremely touchy-feely at times with Orion and her emotions and movements are elevated. I wonder what happened at the break, hmmm?

BONUS HUMOR: 1:34:14 Trap sprung. Laura: "I should have been so smart but I wasn't." Table: laughs

BONUS INSIDE JOB 2:02:10 Marisha: The winner (for the giveaway contest) for the Espionage Bath Bombs Tabletop from @EsponageMakeUp goes to ... Dani Carr! (are you shitting me?

Episode 08

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A14MzQxxdwM

The one where Tiberius rides a painted pony and lets the mending wheel spin

PRO: 29:40 Tiberius becomes un-petrified but Orion keeps speaking in his "Duergar God" accent. It's humorous. Sam: "He's method."

CON: Matt informs Pike that the holy symbol of her god is cracked. Orion, apparently clueless to personal player arcs, attempts dive into Pike's storyline with a quick fix. 1:27:10 Orion: I take out my mending wheel. Matt: (smiling in disbelief) "Your mending wheel which was ... where? It was in the bag of holding." (which is with Grog who is missing) Orion: (as if Matt is clearly wrong) No, I held that. Matt: The mending wheel is THIS big, you haven't been carrying it with you this entire time! Orion: I thought it was this big. (holding his arms out just slightly smaller than Matt demonstrated, which is still clearly too large to have been carried all this time) Ashley: "This is something I'm going to have to do. We can't just put it in a mending wheel."

CHEATING ON HIS DIET The group arrives at a giant cavern whose floor is broken glass and bones with an undead aura. The group feels they shouldn't walk across. Orion and Marisha come up with a good idea. Marisha creates a circular stone disk and Orion will telekinesis the disk into the air while the group rides. Weight limitation? Marisha eliminate Trinket by polymorphing him tiny. 1:28:50 Matt: "How much weight can you push?" Orion: Thousand. I did all the math. Orion can move 1000 pounds: 155 Vax, 75 Pike, 190 Percy, 120 Vex, 75 Scanlan, 125 Keyleth, 105 Kima, and 100 for the rock platform = 945 pounds. Clarota can float. But wait! Something's missing! Sam catches it, Sam: (to Orion) "What about you?" This is asked TWICE. Orion dodges both times, pretending to bury his head down as if he's doing math, ignoring the fact that Tiberius' weight has been omitted. Matt either missed this, or ignored it.

BONUS SCRUBS EAGLE 1:31:55 - 1:32:22 Marisha maintains her position leaning out over the table, stretching her eagle wings, for ~thirty seconds.

Orion Episode Grade: FAIL

Episode 09

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsLIiKFSJLQ

The one where Orion wouldn't throw it there.

PROS 1:12:36 Matt: (as K'Varn) "Ah, there, there we are, I can see you all so clearly." Orion: (under Gr.Invisibility) Not me! Matt: "You'd be surprised, Dragon-born." Orion: You're pretty good. Table: Laughs

MATT'S JUST MESSING WITH HIM NOW 44:12 Orion: I throw a fireball Matt: "Okay, where are you throwing it." Orion: Right in the juicy spot. Matt: (points on the map and prompts Orion) "Right here?" Orion: Oh yeah. Matt: "Ok!" (descripton of fireball damage, and then...) Matt: Grog, you also take the damage. Table: Whaaat? Orion: Why? Matt: Because you said you threw the fire there? Grog's right there. Orion: I knew Grog was there! Of course I wouldn't throw it there! Okay fine. Table: laughs Matt: "I pointed here." Orion: I thought, I don't know.

1:17:50 Matt, tired of tracking if Orion is casting two concentration spells, allows the group to gain a magic circlet which gives this ability. Sam lobbies to take either the Circlet or Orion's Ioun Stone since Orion can't slot both at once. Matt must have been beside himself when Orion gave the Circlet away! Oh my!

Orion Episode Grade: BAITED

Episode 10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvnaMU7Dr-E

The one where Orion is full of wind and fury.

PRO 18:50 Orion: Have we talked about something important here, guys? Shirts. Table: laughs The session opened with announcements, including Laura mentioning shirts for sale and Ashley standing up and showing it off. When Matt asked if there were any more announcements, Orion asked if they mentioned the shirts? Was he not paying attention? Or was he deliberately playing the fool with his serious tone. I want to believe the latter.

CON 20:30 Orion began texting someone around 20:00 as Matt was giving his recap speech. Matt: "Talking on your cellphone?" Orion: Sorry Orion "sets" down his phome, but props it up, still texting. Everyone sees this. They laugh a "ha ha you were caught" laugh, but Orion's actions are completely disrespectful. This is the second time during a stream he's been told.

IT'S JUST GONNA KEEP HAPPENING, MATT 1:49:50 Matt: (to orion) "Uh, invisibility and telekinesis are both concentration spells. You would lose your invisibility." Orion has done this yet again, even after being offered the Circlet last session.

TRAVIS' TOLERANCE WEARS THIN 2:27:18 Marisha scrying, Matt narrarating the scene, here comes the reveal of the creature bearing the prophecied(?) Black Horn, and while Matt continues on ... Orion: (absolutely spazzes out) Unintelligible noises. Travis: (barely silent, directly to Orion, obviously angry, making the slashing quit-it motion across his neck) "Shut up!"

PicRelated cast reaction to Orion

2:30:04 Keyleth: relaying what she saw Orion: (can't hold it in, around 2:30:15) I pull out ... I pull out..." Matt: (in response, Matt is either silently pointing at Marisha to show that she has the floor, or Matt's looking at Marisha while pointing at Orion to show that Matt sees him, but Orion needs to hold for now) Orion: (begins pouting, then tries breaking in again, but the convo does not stop to let him in. Orion gets verbally pissy, holding his hand out to physically indicate he needs to be listened to) "I write (exasperated exhale) DM! ... I write a detailed uh uh Sam: "Just wait." Orion: No! I wanna write!" Sam: "Be patient." (trying to ease Orion down) Orion: (now trying to turn away from Sam, having none of it)

BONUS HUMOR 1:18:35 Scanlan brings the lifeless Cloaker on board the boat. Party wonders what to do with it. Taliesin: "Can we fashion him into a sail?" Sam: "That's a good idea!" Table: laughs Matt: "There is no wind in the tunnel." (in the Underdark) Sam & Taliesin: "We can make wind." Table: light laughs.

Orion Episode Grade: FAIL

AFTER ORION IS TOLD TO PUT DOWN THE PHONE AT 20:30 Orion keeps looking at his phone, his hands are constantly moving: moving his dice; adjusting the placement of his phone; itching his thumb; leaning forward, leaning back; picking up a rule book and putting it in his lap, but then switching attention to another book already open in front of him to turn a page; placing what looks like parchment paper (a prop? or just a paper towel?) on top of the book in front of him; picking the parchment paper back up and moving it to the side; moving his attention to the book in his lap and randomly flipping into it, then quickly deciding he doesn't want the book and turns to put it somewhere behind him; goes back to adjusting the parchement paper, left right left, does nothing with it; picks up a coke can to sip, sets it down way over into Sam's space, then adjusts some type of table-stand near Sam's side and pulls it closer; touching his phone again; picks up the can he set down, moves it closer, sets it down again; picks up something (laser pointer?) and places it directly in front of Marisha; grabs a sandwich, spins it, then picks it up to take a bite, and puts it down; grabs a paper towel with his left hand hand while at the same time reaches for the sandwich (again) with his right hand, but only to slightly adjust the position of the sandwich before abandoning that action and bringing his right hand back up to join his left in wiping his mouth with a paper towel; randomly picks up dice, puts down dice, picks up the sandwich again, adjusts a piece of paper-sandwich-wrapping, putting the wrapper way out in front of him, only to grab something that was out there, and pull it back towards him on the table; tears apart something (the same sandwich?) eats that part (pause) Matt is making everyone roll initiative at 23:17 ... meaning all of this took place in approximately two-and-a-half minutes.

Orion's semi-calm broke down at 25:29 when he reaches for coke can #1, touches it, but then releases it, then decides to pick up coke can #2 at the front of the table and bring it back, placing it next to coke can #1, then releases, and reaches forward and grabs a plastic water bottle only to spin it in place, releases the bottle, reaches for coke can #1, picks it up, puts it down, picks it up to drink, puts it down. (Pause) Starts reaching to pick up a coke can, stops just short, then goes to spear a fork of food, grabs that parchment paper, looks like he's going to write something down, but no, that's just a fake-out, AND NOW HE PICKS UP HIS PHONE AGAIN while looking up at Matt to see when is a good time he can begin sneak-texting again, and in short order, finds the window he was looking for, and begins texting. WHEW!

picrelated: a happy moment, just following Vax calling Tiberius, "Tibby-hops", and then Tiberius casts a Silence spell on Vax. It was seen as fun at the time.

Episode 11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoYyHYsl5po

The one where Travis is clean-shaven and wearing glasses.

0:00:00 Matt: "Good evening, everyone, and welcome to our 11th episode of Critical Role. I think our story is definitely brewing towards a coming conclusion, whether this week, or some point soon, we'll see how the story pans out."

18:58 Matt: "... a large entity ..." I think the term "entity" makes it's first appearance.

CON 46:00 The group is trying to capture a giant. Orion: I cast Watery Sphere and help maintain him. Matt: "What is it's effect on huge creatures?" Orion: It's a dope-ass effect. (makes Sam laugh) Sam: "That's what it says in the book." Matt: "Watery Sphere ... (reads spell description), a huge or large creature automatically succeeds on its saving throw." Orion: oh.

Right in the spell description, and I think Orion knew it, no reaction at all when told this. Then...

Orion: How big is he?! An attempt at "Then I wouldn't do that!" There were clear descriptions of its size during the pre-encounter and encounter - there is even a Fomorian mini on the map!

BONUS HUMOR 1:10:25 The translation scene. Marisha can NOT speak Fomorian/Undercommon. All Marisha has to do is speak normally and Laura will translate, but Marisha starts speaking pidgin-Fomorian to their captive. Then Ashley gets in on the act. Hilarity ensues. Travis' reaction is worth the price of admission. At 1:13:00 Ashley drives Travis to tears.

Orion Episode Grade: meh

Episode 13

(Ep12 was a workshop) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=315mZGX-mjs

The one where Orion tries to give, er, swap Sam's circlet.

PRO 2:39:00 Orion: I go to bed. Sam: "I turn him into a rat." Orion: (wanting to cast dispel magic) I can still cast as an animal, right? Sam: (shakes head no) Matt: Nope! You cannot talk. Orion: (with no change of emotion at all) I still go to bed. Table: big laughs

CON 43:37 Orion: Eh, uh, ok, this isn't good, eeehhhm, how far is Scanlan is only a foot away right? I'm like right next to him. Oh, uh, is, uh, (taps pencil for a few seconds), shit, um, okay, um, I cast Fly on myself, oh hold on, [Sam: bye Tiberius! table laughs], hold on, hold on, I redact that, is it possible, i don't have to, I'm literally standing next to him, right? I don't have to, I don't have to use a move action, right now, like look at him, Can I, uh, can I give him, can I take off my Ioun Stone as like an action and swap his crown?

It begins.

Matt: ummmm, no. Orion wants to keep his Telekinesis up, but also cast Fly, but since they are both concentration yada yada, we know the drill with Orion here. Orion wishes he had that Circlet now.

~(47:00-48:00) I can see a hint of dark circles under Orion's eyes. A bad night's sleep, yeah?

BONUS HUMOR 2:20:40 Liam: (talking about stone-petrified Lady Kima) "We could bring her around [bar-hopping] and introduce her like Weekend At Bernies." Table: laughs, they liked this, a nice moment before the break.

Orion Episode Grade: PUSH

Episode 14

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4tjssfei5E

Not much this episode. A council meeting to discuss The Black Horn of Orcus, then it was shopping at Gilmore's. No Sam. Travis & Laura were on Skype from Florida.

During the first half, space in front of Orion on the gaming table was shockingly clutter-free. Good job, Orion! In the second half, something changed. Despite having the entire break, Orion chose camera-time to break out a noisy bag of Twizzlers, had the crew open up a can of snacks, then introduced a different bag of snacks, and finally started texting on his phone again. Why couldn't he have done this on the break? What occupied his time?

CON 26:50

With Sam not present this session, Orion tried to wheedle the Magic Circlet from Scanlan via Matt.

Orion: Scanlan, I was thinking about our last encounter ... (proposes trade). Matt: (as Scanlan) "You know what? I'm gonna think on that." (Rejected!)

BONUS TELSTAR TWINS 1:32:00 Liam: "I would never think to ask the gods for help if I [just] wanted a shiny sword, or a pile of riches, but [the Black Horn] is something different." Travis: (piping up on skype) "Unless they could get us a pile of riches." Laura: (piping up on skype) "Or a shining sword."

2:22:48 Laura: "Do you have anything that could make Grog smarter?" Travis: "Well, fuck off!" Table: big laughs

BONUS VENTRILO 2:21:11 Matt: "There's a thick leather belt with 3 straps across, Belt of Dwarvenkind." (Ah dude 4 strength 4 stam leather belt ewwhh! awwhh!)

Orion Episode Grade: C

Episode 15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dIBh0dGhzI

We're beyond the half-way point to where Orion leaves the show.

15:10 (Abridged convo) Orion: (pitches the ioun-stone-for-circlet trade to Sam. Again.)... you ran out of spells, you keep running out of spells, you keep complaining you run out of spells the last few times we fought. Sam: I've never run out of spells. Orion: No, you said Sam: "Let's think on it." (Rejected!) At first, Sam seems to be neutral, but as the convo continued, he remembered Orion casting silence on him and refusing to come into the Pyramid in the Underdark fight. Sam shifts gears, "I'm sorry, I missed the last part, because my awesome [Circlet] was blocking. We'll discuss soon."

BONUS SHOPPING 23:30-41:20 After shopping for half of episode 14, there's more! Sam goes shopping (understandable since he missed 14), Marisha went back for potion books, Tiberius went back to upgrade equipment, then Laura went back for bear-armor. Taliesin also asked about tinkering stuff, before and after the shopping. I only bring this up because criticisms will be leveled against Orion in later episodes, but are they so grievous in light of current events? We will see.

BONUS YOU-MIGHT-HAVE-MISSED-IT HUMOR 2:55:20 The airship starts listing, the players all fall 15 feet toward one side. Laura: "Can we Star Trek it?" Everyone joins in but sulking Orion. In the background, on the tiny monitor between Ashley and Travis, Liam shakes his camera to make it look like he's getting knocked around, too. Nice job, Liam!

BONUS DANCING 3:07:50 Travis emphasizes the background music with his dance moves while Sam sings along.

"THEN I DON'T DO THAT" AGAIN 2:42:29 Orion has been distracted, texting on his phone again. Matt: "Tiberius." Orion: uh uh so.

Orion tries to attack a Wyvern that has already been placed off the board because it is below the level of the airship, and out of sight. His plan obviously fails. Should've been paying attention.

Orion: Oh crap. ... What what's going on? Who's this dude over here? (fumbling around trying to come up with Plan B). Matt: This is a rider that grappled himself onto the ship. Orion: (points to another figure) And this is the elven ... ? Matt: This elf was on top of the griffon.

A second or two passes.

Orion: How ow how many (pause) what's this thing right here? Sam: (quietly) "Lot of questions."(Sam is subtly shaking his head, visibly annoyed that Orion hasn't been paying attention). Matt: (you can hear for just a moment the annoyance in his voice). "That's the ballista. It's ready to fire."

If you're inside Orion's head, you can predict his next action, and then, predict Matt's response.

Orion: I will use telekinesis to huck the elf into the ballista.

You can tell Orion was imagining in his head a scene where the elf would take damage from the impact, but also take damage from the ballista as it subsequently fired into the elf. Why would Orion imagine this? Because hearing the ballista was ready to fire from Matt was all it took for Orion to create his own story.

Matt: (slight pause) "Ok."

Of COURSE throwing an elf into a ballista, which is pointing AWAY, is not going to do anything Orion was hoping. Predictably, Matt felt forced to ...

Matt: "The elf hits the ballista, from behind, and the bolt arcs off [harmlessly into the sky]. Sam: (sarcastic to Orion). "Nice." Orion: (making hand motions showing he thought the ballista would fire different) Matt: "The ballista was aimed this way." (Of course it was aimed outward from the airship's deck. Matt shouldn't have to explain this.) Marisha: "Oh, were you trying to skewer him?" Orion: Yeah. I still do that. (he actually describes not doing that, instead motioning backwards, trying to convey that, I guess, he's pushing the elf in front of the ship, and then pulling back on him, to skewer him on the ballista.) I lift him up and do that instead.

("I DON"T DO THAT." Oh you, Orion!)

Matt does not allow a redo, says the ballista has already been fired off, and that's Orion's turn. Orion: (You can tell by his face and continuing demeanor that he's upset.)

Episode 16

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elarLmuDtzU (Liam is skyping in)

The one where Orion writes on the chalkboard.

PRO 16:10 Matt describes the weather turning from clear to cloudy. Marisha, playing a druid, checks to see if it looks unnatural, and Matt says the clouds formed slowly and seem due to approaching the continent. Orion: I'm gonna Sense Weather. (Is this a metamagic option?) Matt: "The weather is cold." Laura: "Good call, Tiberius. I agree, it's rather cold." Orion: Scanlan? Like we were discussing earlier ... Orion abandons the weather and immediately rolls into one of the funnier bits of the Season One campaign. A helpful anon posted the animatic clip earlier (check it out!) 16:45 The Tiberius Math Blackboard scene. Classic. Sam makes the trade.

BONUS HUMOR 39:50 Orion: As we travel through town, if you could point me to any place where they would have a sigil of arcane...ness? Matt: (voicing the Scale-bearer) "There are none! In this city, arcane magic for the most part, is not allowed." (the scalebearer goes on to say this is a holy city and arcane magic is felt to be a corrupting force) • Orion Status: REKT Liam: "Oh shit, Tiberius." Orion: No, I'm fine. He's talking about other people. Travis: (to Orion) "You don't have any arcane abilities, anyway, winkwink*, right? Orion: Well of course I do, I'm a sorcerer. Funny and in character.

1:08:05 Orion: Will we have to contend with the defenses as well? Matt: "Not all of them, but in [Jan's] haste to escape and defend himself, he set a few of them..." Sam: "Why does he still work here? Does he have tenure? Is it a union thing?"

1:25:50 Marisha: (disappointed) "I'm burning another spell slot." Matt: (non-plussed while munching on food) "oh no."

2:06:16 kitty!

CON 1:35:20 From one of the classic humor moments, to one of the classic shake-you-head moments. We've seen Orion try to story jump on Ashley with the mending wheel for her cracked holy symbol. We've already seen in this episode where he tries to jump on Marisha's Nature detection, using a skill that he doesn't posses, and now we see this.

There is a trap that's been sprung. There are pillars rising from the floor and slamming into the ceiling, but there is a quarter-size hole in the ceiling. Will that disable the trap? Can Vex make the impossible shot to hit this tiny hole? She rolls to attack, she rolls Scanlan's inspiration ... a 35! Holy shit! What a great character momen- Matt: "As you release the arrow, (Matt describes Robin Hood moment as her arrow dances through the obstacles) Orion: I cast telekinesis to swoop [the arrow] up! Laura: (pleading and disappointed) "Ohh, let me just see if I got it first!" Orion: (making a face like Laura is the one who is out of line) It's going there any ways. Sam: (makes a motion as if the telekinesis completely threw the arrow off line) Matt would have been well within his rights to do exactly that, decides not to, and allows the arrow to strike true. This is a SHITTY interjection by Orion, stomping all over another player's/character's moment of glory.

Almost as bad, Orion keeps acting like he was the one who made the shot as the scene comes to a conclusion.

INTERVIEW DURING THE BREAK As Orion is talking to their guest, you can see the dark circles under his eyes are getting worse. The drug use is advancing.

Episode 17

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDdT5UqGaDw (Liam is back, Ashley is gone, and Marisha is high)

The one where Orion gets set up by Matt.

PUSH 2:34:12 Orion decides to attack the hydra by casting Chain Lightning again. Orion: I stick out my ring and Chain Lightning him again. Matt: "That's a 6th level spell." Orion: Yeah I can only. No! I know. The one stored in my ring. Matt: Your ring can only store up to a 3rd level spell. Orion: @#$% Matt: You knew this last time. Orion: No, that was the Ioun Stone. Matt: (hard stare) Orion: We all learned something today kids. Ok, I don't do that. (our I DON'T DO THAT moment for today's episode) Orion: uh, instead, fine, uh, im gonna, uh Travis: "Hit it in its butthole?" Orion makes a humorous save by describing his alternative action as using telekinesis to bonk two hydra heads together like coconuts and then wrapping their necks around each other and tying them in a knot like a Max Fleischer Popeye the Sailor cartoon.

BONUS HUMOR 1:24:00 Grog is lounging at the bar, drinking ale and eating a sandwich with a really crunchy sound (Travis is eating a chicken sandwich IRL). Travis: "I'll be at the bar." (munch, crunch) Sam: "That's not even chicken, that's just a piece of wood." Table: laughs, Travis especially.

3:07:10 Matt goes Sean Connery. Liam: "Words are mighter than the sword, right? wink ayyyy!" Sam" (laughs) "Don't ever do that again."

MATT TRICKS OUR HERO (no, really!) 2:53:10 Orion's turn, and he asks if the Hydra's radius is 20', and Matt nods yes and clearly sounds out an affirmative "mm-hm". Orion plans to cast fireball since both the spell and the creature have matching radii (as just confirmed by Matt). This means the fireball can be cast in the center of the Hydra without reaching any of the party adjacent to it. Matt allows Orion to cast two fireballs without commentary. Then... Matt: "I need a reflex save from Grog, Vax." Orions face becomes puzzled. Orion: (to Marisha) something something Hydra unless something's wrong. You can tell in the muted convo with her that he believes his fireball should have been centered on Hydra. Orion continues to question Matt's actions without addressing Matt himself. Matt turns to Orion as Orion gets shushed. Liam makes his first save, but now Matt makes Liam roll for the second. Orion: Oh, Hold on a second, wait, I'm putting hold (waving arms) i'm putting a pause on this real quick. Table: it's too late, the action was taken, etc Orion: (getting mad) I asked before I cast if the Hydra was a 20' radius and I got a nod. Matt then stumbles a bit in his reply. Matt: "The creature is 15' in diameter." Not only does Matt change his answer from radius to diameter, he doesn't even match the numbers correctly. I believe this is a case of Matt deliberately telling a lie to fuck over Orion, and make the table blame Orion for the collateral damage. FOR SHAME, MATT MERCER! Matt admits no wrong doing, but how convenient that the Hydra is felled by Orion's fireballs, and the fight comes to a swift end, and quickly forgotten.

Orion Episode Grade: MERCERED

Episode 18

Sparse review since Orion was away from the table for 2 eps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60sUkTh6xBc [Embed]

Orion, Marisha, and Liam are away from the table this week and next. Felicia Day and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn are guest starring.* ( * McGlynn has never played D&D before, and she immediately gets it.)

ANNOUNCING Matt nerfed Taliesin's Gunslinger class. Matt nerfed Orion's homebrewed Quickened metamagic, limiting an extra spell to only 2nd level.* ( * No more hydra-killing, double-fireballs from Orion)

Taliesin rolled OVER 9000 natural twenties. Does he have a loaded die in a bid to impress the ladies?

BONUS ORION SIGHTING! 2:46:50 Orion and Marisha were waiting in the wings the entire time(!), and Orion takes this moment to run into the camera shot, and grab Mary Elizabeth McGlynn from behind in an unsolicited hug. Does he keeps his hands on her just a bit too long? The dark drug-circles under his eyes are easy to see.

Orion Episode Grade: A last second defeat seized from the jaws of victory.

Episode 19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW6GgFQg3kk

Orion, Marisha, and Liam are away from table, Travis flies in late from Alaska, and Felicia Day and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn are guest starring. Taliesin rolls three more nat 20's. Sam introduces himself to the White Dragon as "Burt Reynolds". McGlynn finishes off the dragon with a reaction, Hellish Rebuke. Nice job!

BONUS HUMOR 2:50:11 The Dragon begins to fly, but Sam uses a spell to grapple its wings. Success! The dragon's grounded. Sam: "You will leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!" Table: laughs

BONUS ORION SIGHTING! 3:56:28 Once more, Orion swoops in from the wings at the end of the show, hugging Travis, but then grappling Felicia Day while she's promoting her book tour.

Orion Episode Grade: GRAPPLED

Episode 20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFU_qqwSs0U

Volume Warning! There are a lot of moments in the session where the talking volume levels are suddenly pierced by the loud laughter bursts.

ANNOUNCEMENTS For the next two sessions: Absent from the table are Taliesin, Laura, Travis, and Sam (who is moving into a new house). Regulars present at the table are Marisha, Liam, and Orion. Guest stars at the table are Will Wheaton and Will Friedle (frih-del).

3:50 Just noticing the dark circles under Orion's eyes. I am sure it's just the late nights of video gaming for his new twitch channel.

AND I WALK AWAY 14:02 LiamMC: "Let's go to the store, I really don't want to drag this out any longer than we have to, and I just walk out the door." This was actually a good thing to get the party moving.

14:54 - 15:06 Marisha suffers buffering.

15:07 Matt introduces a fortune teller character from the group's past. Orion and Marisha scramble in their notes for the name. "I've got to go back to my old notes," says Marisha, waving her hand while checking her files on her phone, "Keep, keep doing stuff." (Why don't they just walk up and ask the woman her name again?)

16:10 Marisha half-rises, starts stomping her feet, begins leaning over and holding her phone out to Orion (reaching across Friedle) for him to look at, and then stands all the way up. Why? I don't know. Matt stops speaking until the interruption subsides.

19:24 Matt: (as Forsythia the Fortune Teller to Orion) "Grow greedy with fate, and I fear the timeline will swallow you up." Matt already knew, didn't he.

28:13 The new characters have still not been introduced yet. LiamMC: (in character) "I'm getting itchy, can we just go to the [Slayers] Take, please ... Let's get on with it, shall we? Jesus!, whoever that is." LiamMC gets the party moving again. This is who we need in charge!

1:28:45 (volume warning) Earlier in the game, Wheaton attempted a history check to see if he knew anything about the wealthy merchant Tyril, and he rolled a one. The group joked that Thorbir not only didn't know anything, but he even forgot the name of the person he was trying to ask about. Then later in the game, as Shop Machina was heading into the break. Wheaton: "... Tyrell! I just remembered his name." Table: laughs Way to bring it back, Wheaton.

2:19:50 Marisha wants to chase after an enemy who is going to alert the guards, so she shape changes into a rat to scurry after him. Orion, seeing the opportunity to copy someone else's story path, pulls out a scroll of [unintelligible] to also polymorph, turning himself into a gadfly, and chases after Marisha. Matt (with a surprised look) says the scroll is consumed and gone. 2:23:00 Orion, on his next turn, dispels his polymorph, to cast a silence spell in the hallway. What a fantastic use of a polymorph scroll.

2:24:30 What is Orion doing? Who is Orion talking to?

2:53:00 (volume warning) An Indiana Jones rolling boulder trap is sprung behind the party in the tunnel. Orion casts Fly on himself. Orion casts Slow on the rolling boulder. On the same turn. When the Slow fails. Orion tries to cast Iron Obelisk block the boulder. Still on the same turn. Matt and the gang put a stop to this. Liam: (imitating Tiberius) "I would like to cast all my spells - in succession - for the next 10 minutes!"

CLIFHANGER Kashaw, Keyleth, and Tiberius have taken the long slide into a cesspool cistern and creature arises. Tiberius has already used a few spells today, like alter self twice, silence, fly, iron obelisk, invisibility. What will happen next time?!

Episode 21

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGaISHs2s7Q

The one where Orion, Marisha, and Matt all cheat.

At the table: Orion, Marisha, Liam, Will Wheaton, & Will Friedle.

These 2 episodes (20&21) were also Will Friedle's first D&D games. He did great! 4:02:00 Friedle: (Kashaw to Keyleth) "And you. You might be the most annoying person I've ever met in my life. With that [Kashaw] grabs her around the waist, pulls her in and plants one right on her. He turns, winks, and walks out of the room." What an exit!

Will Wheaton's character wasn't much of a factor, but Wheaton the player more than made up for that with his humor at the table. He would roll at least four natural 1's on the night. Legend.

SUMMARY for ep. 21 & 22 The party goes to the Velvet Cabaret, meets the owner, are spied upon by a dwarf who they believe is the Rakshasha, chase him into a room and into a tunnel beneath a bed, run from an Indiana Jones boulder trap, drop into a cistern cesspool and fight an Otyugh, are attacked by a Poltergeist, cross an acid-filled hallway that destroys their Flying Carpet, and have a showdown with the Rakshasha. This was all done with no long rest.

Marisha CHEATED. 29:05 Marisha: "I cast Blight." Matt: "What level is Blight? 4th?" Marisha: (looking right at her spell card and answering as cool as a cucumber) "3rd." No. It's not. It's 4th level. verdict: CHEATER

Orion CHEATED. 1:36:40 Orion tries to claim that his Stoneskin spell halves Liam's damage, but Matt reminds him that it is a concentration spell. Orion does the pointing-at-his-head-in-annoyance thing, showing that Matt is stupid that he's forgotten about the Circlet of Concentration, but Matt finally says no, that's not how it works. Orion then decides to explain to Matt how it works. This goes about as well as you'd expect. Marisha chimes in with "it's been longer than a minute" despite that having nothing to do with anything, and Orion leans over to look at her with an you-idiot tone, "It lasts an hour", but Matt describes how it's first-in-first-out, only two minutes on the spell that's bumped.

1:54:05 I will go no further until I take a proper rest 1:59:55 Orion bends over to look at Marisha and begins saying something about "resting" and Marisha says "we are resting" and Orion says "no a full rest so i can get back sorcery points" and Marisha says "Why did you burn all your sorcerer points, we don't have time to sit here for a full rest." Orion was already cheating, but it became self-admittedly obvious after the group refused to do a long rest. Orion said he was virtually out of spells and sorcery points. He kept track of his sorcery points well (I had him at 1 left, he said he was at zero), but he was blatantly casting spell slots that he just didn't have. He cast two more 2nd level spells than he had, and he cast five more 3rd level spells than he had. He was caught trying to store 5 spells of 4th level in his Ring of Spell Storing instead of just 4-spell-levels (claiming he just didn't understand); he was caught using his Circlet of Concentration improperly (though I thought it worked just the way Orion thought); and he was finally caught that a successful save against his Pillars spell allowed an opponent to avoid any damage at all. NOTE: I bet none of this would have happened had Sam been on his left.

3:38:00 After Orion has cast his 8th 3rd level spell (he only started with 3), Matt has finally had enough and at least makes a ruling to correct the Pillars spells, that a dex cave succes means the target avoids the pillar entirely for no damage.

3:41:17 As the Rakshasha prepares to bamf, Orion tries to cast Counterspell again, but Matt knows (or perhaps he always knew but now feels forced to say something on stream). Orion tried to claim that his Ring of Spell Storing can hold 5 spells which may be up to 4th level each. I don't even know how he got the number "5". It holds up to four-spell-levels period.

Matt CHEATED. I am convinced that Matt's plan was to destroy the Flying Carpet in the acid hallway from the very beginning. First, why would this group have the magic carpet anyway? The carpet was always in Grog's Bag of Holding. And when they first thought about crossing, the Carpet wasn't considered. 2:10:08 Orion: I cast Fly on Thorbir, Keyleth, Cleric, and Vax, and myself Matt: You can only cast it on 3 people. Orion: I can cast it at 6th level. (His 6th level slot is still available.) Matt: It's only 1 additional person. (Matt lied. An upcast Fly spell carries one more person for each level upcast, 6 people at 6th. There's no way Matt didn't know this.) verdict: CHEATER Matt was trying deliberately to force the Flying Carpet out into the open and it worked. Once Marisha remembered the Carpet, they wanted to use it. Matt called for the halftime break. Preparing to destroy one of the group's most beloved items requires one to get all their ducks in a row. (Matt cheated continued)

2:23:35 Matt: You notice some Sigils on the walls. The groups knows this must be bad and they throw every skill they have at the sigils. An anti-magic effect is ultimately triggered 2:37:00 The flying carpet has fallen into the acid, gotten severely burned, was recovered by the party, and is now trying to be repaired. It fails. Because Matt wanted it to. Orion did what Matt asked -- rolled a concentration check to hold the magic of the carpet as he used the Mending Wheel. Matt was probably hoping Orion would fail by a reasonable amount, but when Orion rolled an 18 -- and still failed -- you knew the fix was in. Whatever Orion rolled was going to fail. Low roll? "You failed". High roll? "Oh, you needed a natural 20 for this." Natural 20? "The save was to actually save the physical carpet itself, but the magic was going to be destroyed no matter what." Matt is is the bad guy here.

In the end, the Flying carpet was reduced to a plain carpet. Meanwhile, in a back room, Laura is present watching the live stream on a tv ... on a delay.

2:37:55 In the background, you can hear screaming and yelling as the news of the carpet's demise reaches Laura's ears! Orion/Tiberius is feeling down. He wasn't able to save one of Vex's favorite things. Marisha pipes in to ask why Tiberius is so poopy. Well, I don't know, Marisha, but since it's not YOUR item that was destroyed, and since YOUR character can still fly all the time, I can see why your self-centered persona wouldn't give a shit about its loss. Marisha: "We can hang the carpet up in the Keep as a tapestry." Orion: No! We can try to make it fly again.

END

Episode 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GY3HTZE5R0 (Sam is missing for the 3rd week in a row, Ashley makes a surprise appearance)

The one where Orion purchases a pet.

PRO 16:00 After the group's success, they are to be branded as a mark of membership. Laura: "We must be branded in the dark." Orion: (whimpers) Table: quiet laugh, but Travis really liked it.

42:00 Talking about the defunct flying carpet Orion: We need to re-enchant it. Laura: "You. Lost. the Carpet?! ..." Orion: It's ok! Again, I... it's not a big deal, we just have to re-enchant it or find someone powerful enough to .. to do .. Laura: "We'll just pool our funds together. You didn't spend any money during your mission, right? We can pool our funds together and find somebody. You didn't spend any money? Orion: (not looking up, very quietly) No, we spent it. Travis: (a beat) laughs

CON 57:18 Tiberius is proficient in short swords, darts, crossbows, and quarterstaffs. So he goes shopping for them at the smiths. Matt: (as Blacksmith) "I could certainly make some [standard weapons] for you, but there's plenty available at the stall over there." Orion: I would like a quarterstaff though with bladed ends, that's why I came to you. No no no. Do not let him do it Matt! That turns the quarterstaff into some kind of spear or something that Orion is NOT proficient in. Can Orion just stop trying to cheat? Matt: (as Blacksmith) "Give me about .. 4 hours?" Dammit Matt, you're just encouraging this behavior. Could I have a quarterstaff, but put a great axe on the end? Yeahhh, that'd be great. </Lumbergh>

BONUS SMOOCHES FROM LAURA 43:00 Travis: You got a kiss! I didn't get a kiss." Marisha: I've never been kissed before! Laura: (grabs Travis' face and plants one on him) Travis: What the fuck just happened? Laura: There. not much laughter but i thought it was funny.

BONUS ICONIC MOMENT 1:08:45 Travis roleplays haggling with a street vendor, and actually offers MORE with his counteroffer. Brilliant! The table loves it.

BONUS MATT HUMOR 1:39:13 Matt as the dragonite seller. 1:45:00 Matt as Tiriok the amateur cartographer.

BONUS GOOD JOB! 4:04:37 Orion is on fire and he uses his Control Flames cantrip to remove the flames from his body and juggle them. He's a Red Dragonborn, he uses fire magic all the time, so Matt rules this makes sense. Good job, Orion!

BONUS GIFT SEGMENT HUMOR 4:34:00 Travis is given a gift and Matt decides it is canon. It's a participation medal from Kern "The Hammer" to Grog when Grog lost his combat in The Crucible. Good gift, David Paterson!

Orion epsisode grade: PASS a good episode for Orion.

Episode 23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM6L4tuyXq0

The one where Orion gets bailed out by Burt Reynolds.

Most of the first half: • After missing 3 episodes, Sam makes it back to the stream and finds he missed a lot while he was having a long, innocent slumber party with Allura and three tieflings. • Grog wins a rematch with Kern "the Hammer" in hand-to-hand combat in The Crucible.

BONUS BURT REYNOLDS 1:38:25 Iconic jail scene

BONUS SHADE ATTEMPT 1:59:40 Orion: I think I might have an idea about the carpet. Sam: "Your wheel of mending?" Orion: That didn't work. Marisha: "That might have been how it got killed." Marisha, would you stop trying to blame Orion; the mending wheel tried to save the carpet.

BONUS MATT 2:10:30 Percy tries to buy gunpowder so Matt creates Victor.

BONUS HUMOR 2:54:00 Sam's body language makes what he says funnier. Orion: Vax and Grog, I fear you the most. Sam: "What am I? Chopped liver?" Orion: I could crush you in one blow, Scanlan. Sam: "Let's, let's, let's just leave it at that. I could kill you with my eyes closed. I'm just saying." Orion: Grog and Vax, you are the strongest and noblest and most cunning. Sam: "You live because I let you live. Let's just say that out loud."

Orion episode grade: Pass

Episode 24

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kre27f30IVs

The one where Orion visits the Alabaster Lyceum

PERCY BACKSTORY sigh COUNTER 19:31,19:58,20:14,21:50,22:38,23:58,24:02,24:06,24:26,24:38,25:06,26:18,27:39,27:54,28:23, 29:18 = 16 sighs

PRO 39:55 Orion shines as Tiberius visits the Alabaster Lyceum, encountering in succession a clerk, then Xanthras, and then Thurmond Adlam. "Hi, I'm Tiberius Stormwind, from Draconia" Sam gets in on the running joke, too. Orion: I went through this fellow, who I thought was the job of this fellow... Matt: (thurmond) "What do you require?" Orion: I'm looking to acquire (he describes his quest) ... that's about it. Table: laughs

BONUS CHUB Yet another mention of getting a chub on. Any hate towards Orion for saying this seems to become less valid all the time. I need to review THE fateful moment to compare. 36:00 Marisha: "It lasts as long as I want it to last." Sam: "Dayum!" Percy: "This is getting weird." Sam: "You can be an animal as long as you want?" Marisha: "Where are you going with this?" Sam: "I've just got a chub on, that's all." (this exchange continues, but it deserves it's own pic, so it's in Part 2 below)

36:23 Marisha has just claimed to Sam that she can stay in animal form for as long as she wants. Matt is forced to correct her. Matt: "You can [only] stay in beast shape for a number of hours equal to half your druid level." Pic related is the reaction at the table to Matt's ruling.

FIRST, Orion's reaction is priceless, when a cheater sees a cheater cheatin'.

SECOND, Marisha's reaction shows a)she knew what she was doing, b)she didn't get away with it, and c)now she's going to have to eat some shit for it, and we know this because Sam's reaction is ...

THIRD, Sam's reaction is what gives a clue to the subtext. Sam smiles, leans back in his chair, snaps his fingers, and says "Boom!" He baited Marisha! He KNEW she couldn't stay in beast form forever, he drew her out into the open on stream, got her to make the claim, and that forced Matt to correct her. There's a new sherrif in town, and his name is Sam!

I sort of imagine that there was a pre-stream interaction. Sam: I don't think you can be an animal as long as you want, Marisha. Marisha: Matt will let me do whatever I want. See you at the table, Sam. This might help explain Marisha getting nervous when saying "Where are you going with this?" and her subsequent, post-ruling, side-eye towards Sam, knowing she's been outed by the Master. It would also explain Sam's jubilant "Boom!" as his plan worked perfectly. Again, this is just my head-canon, but it kinda fits.

Orion episode grade: PASS

Episode 25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrrB_q-V8G0

The one where Orion starts on Marisha's bad side.

BONUS STEIN 8:30 The beginning of the oversized drinking vessel gag which Sam has carried on ever since.

BONUS TENSION •12:00 Marisha is drinking. She and Sam have frozen Orion out of a seating position. •12:28 Orion asks Marisha to pass a snack, she turns to him, turns back, and does nothing. Orion has to reach himself. We can't hear what's said, but she seems upset as she continues to talk below the microphone level. •33:00 Civility is lost again. Orion: something something That's not what we're doing. Marisha: (directly facing Orion now) "I don't know that. I'm not metagaming like other people we might know." (OH SNAP!) •42:28 Orion flips loudly, dramatically through a rule book. Must be important, right? Nothing comes of it.

BONUS LIAM 40:00 Liam: "Wait! As that happens, and as my consciousness fades away, I don't say anything, but here's what I think in a split second, [long monologue that brings the table to tears]." Now THAT'S a main character.

BONUS WAIT UNTIL I SEE THE RESULT OF THE ROLO 1:18:00 Taliesin: "Is he looking at me?" Matt: "Yeah." Taliesin: "Ok good, I'm taking another aimed shot at his face ... That's 28 points of damage and he has disadvantage on all attacks for this round." Matt: "Ok (pause, stares at Taliesin). That was using the arm shot?" Taliesin: "Yeah." Funny how an "aimed shot at his face" suddenly turns into an Arm Shot. Verdict - CHEATER

BONUS SAM 1:34:20 Matt: (to Sam) You are face to face [with the Briarwoods], you are essentially the shield of the group right now." Sam: "Hi. Hellooo. What a lovely dinner we ha-LIGHTING!!" Table: big laughs...except Taliesin. (What's up with that?)

Percy: "Your soul is forfeit!" Liam: [the old lady] has to die. Laura: [the old lady] is running away, but she's a bad guy. Sam: (uses the eyebite spell to Sleep the old lady.) WHICH LEADS TO 3:19:12 It's Orion's turn, and he starts to attack, but then hesitates when people suddenly go, "awww, it's an old woman" even though just a moment earlier they were all cheering for her destruction. Liam: "Poor old woman? She's an evil mercenary, she deserves to be taken out! Don't be age-ist, that is an evil bitch. She needs to be killed." After hearing this encouragement, Orion uses telekinesis to Langolier the prone opponent with his Krull blade.

Orion sometimes gets flak for this action, but in review, it doesn't seem out of place at all. Liam was certainly supporting it, and the rest of the cast wasn't shy when they were looting the body. So

Orion episode grade: PASS

Episode 26

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2CCQnD4AQ8

The one where Orion touched Marisha while in character as drunk Tiberius, AND DID NOTHING WRONG!

MATT GIVES ORION THE 3rd DEGREE 27:00 Matt: "Tiberius, what did you say you were doing down there?" Orion: Hm? Matt: "What were you doing down in your laboratory?" (Orion had checked out of the earlier group discussion scene by saying he was going down to his lab.) Orion: Um, well, I was doing my research for that stuff last night, and this morning ..." Matt: "Which one?" Orion: It's just my ability, like, my class, I do, backstory, uh, what I was doing was-" Matt: "Backstory is...?" Orion: I was writing down- Matt: "Backstory isss...? Orion: I'm a Noble Sage. Matt: "Well, there's a noble. And there's a sage." Orion: "I know. I spliced them [together] because it made sense." Matt: "Ok. (laughs)" Orion: No! The noble part is the [role play], and the sage is my perk. After this, Matt seems to give up on this weird, impromptu interrogation. The anti-Orion shadow campaign has become visible.

33:38 Liam: (to Tiberius) "There's no question that you are an invaluable member of Vox Machina, and our friend, and our family, and that is not in question."

("... for at least one more episode.")

1:13:08 Sam: "How many errands do you have to run?" Orion: I have a bunch, dude. I made a list. (holds up list to Sam) Sam: "Alright, go run your errands." Matt: "You guys make your way back to Greyskull keep ... (to Orion) are you going with them?" Orion: "I'm doing all this shit [on his list] ... and I'm going to give you... (Orion is holding out his list, willing to hand it to Matt in order to keep things moving and save time from having to roleplay. That's good table play!) Matt: "What are you doing?" (the tone of Matt's voice, if not his face, is annoyed) Sam: "He's got a list." Matt: "I'd like to know the list." So Orion reads off his list. • Pick up decanter from temple. • Visit armory to reinforce crossbow. (Orion - "I don't even know what that means.") • Research teleportation sigil to the Feywild. (that's where his personal arc leads, so this makes sense.) • Start enchanting his blades.

Orion was right. None of this needed roleplaying. It should have been handled by Matt behind the DM screen.

Sam: "A busy day. Coming on Friday night, 'The Adventures of Tiberius!' 7-10 every Friday night on Twitch." The joke landed, but this was a bit unfair to Orion. Orion tried his best to give his list to Matt so it could be handled off-screen, but now the seed is sown that Orion is taking too much time with "personal stuff", which is exactly what Orion was trying to avoid. Without prompting, he even ditched his attempt to reinforce his crossbow and enchant his blades for brevity's sake.

1:16:10 Matt describes an elderly couple outside the Keep. Sam: "We hate old people." Travis: "Favored enemy." Table: laughs

1:25:30 Matt: "Tiberius, what's the first thing you're doing?" Orion: Stop by to pick up the decanter from the temple. Matt: "Okay? They said it would require 2 days and it's been less than a day." Orion: (paraphrased) Then I'm researching the sigil. Matt: (paraphrased) "You can't teleport to the Feywild, you'll have to find a door." Orion: Then I only pick up my decanter. Some laughs were had at Orion's shocking loss of memory, having been told about the decanter just a moment earlier. Who's not laughing? Sam.

ORION DID NOTHING WRONG!!! 2:15:30 Orion, playing a drunk Tiberius in-character, hugs Keyleth, and Marisha says in character, "Why are you touching me? Don't touch me right now. I'm not - don't touch me." Orion then proceeds to touch his finger to Marisha's lips, "Human kissy mouth." Orion was just playing in character, DOING NOTHING WRONG. Everybody was laughing. Except for Marisha.

You can see that Marisha wants to jump into some back-and-forth with Orion/Tiberius, but she wants to do it while being able to shit on Tiberius (as she and Matt have been trying to do all episode long, quite frankly). It's hard, though, when everyone is on Orion's side and laughing at his actions. She doesn't have the acting/improv chops to make a smooth entry, so she just goes over the top with the "Don't touch me!" approach. It seems forced and harsh.

That's because she's not in character! It's real!

I disagree. She stays in that same character tone when she acts mad at the group for disturbing her while studying her spell book.

Her ... spellbook?

I know. Druids don't have spellbooks. Oh well, that's Marisha for you.

(I'm sure many of the critters all posted, "omg orion is literally raping her!" but this is absolutely not true. At 2:27:15 we can see Orion put his arm around Marisha and by 2:27:27 she's smiling and laughing.)

2:18:13 Marisha's attempt at seizing the moral high ground falls flat when she doesn't even realize where her character is. She announces the intent to physically push Tiberius, but is then reminded she's not in the basement, but on the roof. Matt: "So where do you push him?" Liam: "Off [the roof] I guess." Laura: "Off the roof." Marisha: (nervous laugh, realizing she doesn't know where she is or what she's doing) "No haha, I thought we were downstairs...I don't know what I do with him." ... Matt: (to Marisha) "What are you doing to .. pair(?) with what you were doing?" Marisha: "I don't know, I got distracted." (turns to stare at Tiberius) Jesus, Marisha, Tiberius was not the character who distracted you - it was the other members of the party who called to you. Quit blaming Orion.

Marisha then conveys one plan to bolster the Keep in case the Briarwoods come - Conjure Bears. Matt: "It's a concentration spell and it only lasts an hour. Marisha: (paraphrase) "Whaaaa?"

pic related, "you mean my spells don't last forever?"

No, Marisha, they do not last forever. But nice try hoping that your husband will let you get away with that.

The point of this Marisha posting above was to show that she didn't know what she was doing, and she didn't know what she was doing with her acting in the scene with Orion. She was just blindly doing something because something something reasons. She was NOT personally skeeved by Orion. She tried to be emotional as a thespian. She failed. Orion is INNOCENT!

BONUS DAD JOKE 2:37:50 Sam: "It's cow-mouflage."

BONUS MARISHA FAIL 2:56:08 Marisha "Vox Moo-kia" You had one job, Marisha. (Vox Moo-kina)

BONUS MARISHA SUCCESS 2:59:34 With Sam and Marisha upon the flying Roc. Marisha: "For thematic reasons I also [polymorph the Roc] into a cow." Sam breaks up with laughter.

BONUS I DON'T DO THAT THEN 3:10:25 Four people are flying with Tiberius' spell. Matt: "You all stay back, or do you go with her?" Orion: I'm gonna cast Greater Invisibility on myself, then follow. Matt: "Okay? You guys have 12 seconds before you all plummet." Orion: Oh wait! I don't do that. (Orion goes back to binge eating.)

Hey Matt! What happened to Tib's Circlet of Concentration? First, it was able to maintain two concentration spells for their duration, then it was able to hold one of the two concentration spells for 2 minutes before expiring, and now it can only hold the extra concentration spell for 12 seconds? Matt's suspicious ruling continues his shadow campaign, trying to make Orion look bad and turn the cast against him. verdict for Matt: SHADOW CAMPAIGN CONTINUES

CAN WE KILL THIS THING NOW? 3:37:55 Travis: "Can we kill this thing now? You guys are doing awesome </sarcasm>." Marisha: "I think I've done pretty damn good [negotiating]." Marisha now starts wheedling for the boyfriend advantage. Marisha: (to Matt) "Come on, man! [unintelligible]" The drugs, or perhaps lack of them, begin hitting Marisha hard. She gets a hot flash and begins bellowing her t-shirt for air, then she rubs her eyes and massages her temples during Sam's speech. Matt: (to Sam) "Make a persuasion role." Marisha: "How many fucking persuasion rolls does this asshole need." (OH SNAP!)

Orion episode grade: *STILL ALIVE!

• Ted Buckland, Scrubs

Episode 26(?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mB-aM2bIBk

Percy sigh Counter 19:21, 30:53, 31:37, 1:37:58, 1:38:51, 3:15:58 = 6 sighs

ANNOUNCEMENTS 0:50 Matt: "This weekend, we're all going to be at New York Comic Con." This is interesting! I watched the youtube of the panel for just a moment to see if Orion made the trip. Liam couldn't be there because of a family emergency, but Orion was present, HOWEVER ...

Matt goes on stage first, begins introducing cast. Everyone is introduced EXCEPT Orion. Cast sings "Happy Birthday" to Sam/Scanlan on stage in front of fans. THEN Orion is introduced. Last.

Was he already fired, but the cast felt he should make the trip because of fans' expectations? Was there a legal obligation? Or was Orion still in the dark, spending money on a plane ticket and hotel fare, not realizing that Matt's Shadow Campaign was reaching a crescendo? The optics of Orion being marginalized from the introductions/song can't be ignored.

A LITTLE LAURA 10:43 Laura: "I got nominated for a Golden Joystick Award." O.O'

16:20 - 17:00 Watch Laura's face during the recap. What's going on? Does she know something? Is she sad thinking back on happier days when they were all flying cows acting as a team?

22:28 Percy is going to fire a shot in the Keep's basement, and Sam comes up with the idea to have the cast all make a richochet sound if Percy misses. Sam is literally right next to Orion (and assumes he's listening) while leaning out and talking to Marisha and Taliesin. Orion: (looks up) He's in the kitchen? Nobody answers. He quietly looks down again. Is he texting on his phone using his pen/stylus? In any case, he misses the conversation somehow. Sam continues to lean out hoping to make this team-ricochet sound happen. Marisha: "Pyuu" (ricochet sound) Orion: ... Sam: (bumps Orion) "You have to do it." Orion: What? Travis: "Jesus Christ!" Orion: (looks around confused) I'm totally lost.

25:49 Orion: As soon as I hear that, I cast fly on myself and... No. There's been no rest since last episode and Orion's short on spells.

3rd level: Dispel Magic x2, Fly. OUT! 4th level: Gr.Invisibility, Stoneskin. 1 remaining 6th level: Fly (upcast). OUT!

28:13 Orion: For the record, Matthew, I have no idea what we're fighting .. not metagaming. Matt: "Congrats, I'm proud of you." Sam: "That's a first." Liam: "Fresh start." This new beginning is short-lived.

PERCY - THE Q&A MONOLOGUES 30:50 Matt: "That brings us to the top. Percy, you're up."

Are you going to shoot the creature right in front of you?

Percy: "I can't shoot at the far creature can I."

Answered your own question. Are you going to shoot at the creature right in front of you?

Percy: "Does my glove have a charge? No it wouldn't."

Answered your own question. Are you going to shoot at the creature right in front of you?

Percy: "There's no way I can step back, is there."

Answered your own question. Are you going to shoot at the creature right in front of you?

Percy: "It gets weird when it gets up close. Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh ok." Finally, at 32:18, Taliesin rolls to shoot the creature directly in front of him.

ORION RETURNS TO BAD HABITS 46:28 Orion: I'm going to cast at ... Sam: "Have we rested, by the way?" (bingo! Sam knows) Travis: "Nope." Orion: No. (did Orion just agree with 'no'?) Matt: No, you have not rested. Sam: So we're down a bunch of spells. Matt: You're still where you were when you came back. Orion: I'm good! NO! CHEATER! See above note at 23:49 for spell depletion details. Orion: "At 6th level I'm going to try to [split] glacial blast." NO! That's not even a thing. Orion has had this very same problem before with this very same spell. Also, he has no 6th level spell slots left. CHEATER! And even worse, the Glacial Blast hits Jarret and Vax (how could it not? Especially in the crowded hallway). BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Orion slips in a d10 among his d8s for damage, but Marisha catches him. So much for the fresh start.

52:53 Orion is back on his phone texting. He's been hiding the phone well with his other hand, but you can tell. He's been told many times to stop this.

1:04:10 Matt asks for an Arcana check from the group, and Orion rolls. But you can clearly see as he's raising his hand in a pre-roll motion, there is a second dice that comes out the sidebottom of his hand. He then rolls the dice still in his hand. Sam: "(something) two?" Orion: I rolled one by accident. The two dice ended up on opposite sides of Orion's space, and Orion doesn't like the real dice roll, so he shifts his gaze to the other side, to the false die, and is obviously intending to take that one. CHEATER! jfx, Orion! Marisha and Sam are on top if it, and Matt reminds Orion not to do that.

THE HALF CHUB INCIDENT 1:31:16 Laura: [how we should do this] Orion: As Vex is saying this, Tiberius is getting a half-chub. Matt laughs. Marisha is smiling. Sam is smiling. Laura is getting a total kick out of it. Orion: You can't see it because it's inside. I'm just saying. Strategy. Travis perks up, but once Orion says its for strategy, Travis seems fine, stressing the need for "Clarification. Clarification." Orion: Come on! Laura is laughing/smiling her head off. verdict: This chub thing was a NON-ISSUE! If you look at Travis before the comment, during the comment, and long after the comment, he looks the same. He's irritated because in the last, oh, six-ish hours of streaming, he's thrown two punches? And now the group is mired down in more talking. That is why he is carrying his expression.

And this seems to be borne out by the change in his attitude when ... 1:35:48 Sam: "We've always sought out the path of the most glory-" Travis: (bored and bummed, but suddenly) Sam: "- but I think that is the Briarwoods." Travis: (eyes bright, full of attention) Sam: "Going in to a giant-" Travis: (points excitedly at Sam) Sam: "- vampire lich ridden castle-" Travis: (giving the thumbs up and gesturing with energy) Sam: "- and killing two evil bastards." This is what Travis has been wanting to hear. People often post screenshots of Travis right around the time Orion says "half chub" as evidence of Travis being mad at Orion. But no! Travis was low-key upset at the amount of talking going on before, during, and after that comment. And here we see that as soon as ACTION is proposed, his mood lifts! Travis was not mad at Orion; Travis was in a funk at the state of the table in a morass.

Opinion. "Half chub" had little to do with Orion's exit. Several anons have made good points that Orion's departure was the result of a slow-burn. Building up to the moment. Piece by piece. After half-a-year's play.

SHOP TIL YOU DROP 1:42:19 Matt: "Tiberius loves shopping." Laura: "He really really does.: NONE of them should talk. Laura is famous for her haggling scenes and Matt made an entire shopping-based NPC (Gilmore) to encourage more. Matt: "We're going to take a quick break - " Liam: "And errands after that? Because I have some errands ..." I guess it's NOT just Tiberius who likes errands and shopping, eh?

2:01:58 Travis: (interrupting because GOD DAMN) "I want to go to the store, I would like to get a shovel and a pick axe." Orion: (to Travis) blah blah and we'll go shopping together later blah Travis: "I don't give a fuck where we go. It's just a shovel and a pick axe." Now THAT'S how you do it. Then Liam gets his turn to go shopping, promising to be brief. He is not. He roleplays with Laura about money. Travis: "I thought you said you were going to be brief."

Just showing that Travis isn't singling Orion out.

Liam roleplays with Tristan at the temple. Liam roleplays asking the guards if they've seen his Simon Snake belt. Liam roleplays hanging around in front of the Butcher's place. Sam goes to Gilmore's asking about buying scrolls, but no roleplay. Liam is back! With more roleplaying at Gilmore's. Liam: "I have a very important question, I won't take up much of your time." TOO LATE FOR THAT, LIAM.

2:25:00 This is when Orion begins looking for mirrors. 2:25:28 Orion: I need about 1500 of them. This is so ridiculous that Travis actually breaks into his first smile in a long time.

2:28:25 Travis: (to Orion) "How bout you get nothing else then we move on." Orion: Last thing - Travis: "No last thing." I don't think it was necessarily Orion taking too much time to shop/errand that drew Travis' wrath; I think it was that Orion was almost -last- to do it. There had been so much already that Travis was sick of it. If Orion had gone first, I don't think this would have happened. Oh wait, did I say Orion was last to shop/errand? Not so fast! 2:28:54 Liam: "Also, this will just take 10 seconds,..."

dammit Liam! Then Orion returns.

Orion: (Something something sleep bolts?) Sam: "Can [Tiberius] come back to the Keep, and [find] we left 4 days ago?"

Tiberius had some idea of combining enchanments with Sleep, Holy Water and magic bolts or something. I don't know. Matt tried explaining why it was a "no", and Orion kept pestering for it, so Matt said "Sure, roll for it." Travis knew what was what, "Do you think there's any number you can roll that's gonna be high enough?" There wasn't, and Matt made Orion sacrifice 500 gp.

2:40:08 Orion: At the beginning of the day before all of this happened- Matt: (collapses in frustration/exhaustion) Orion: Sorry guys, this is necessary. Travis: Is it? IS IT? Tiberius writes a letter to his father, trying to declare war on Whitestone, and trying to gather 50 Knights and 50 Flying Soldiers. This sounds in-character for Tiberius. Of course Matt isn't going to allow this. No DM would. Matt tries to restrict Orion from doing this again in a return letter from Tiberius' father. 2:42:10 Matt: (as Tib's dad in a letter) "Should you wish to bring this to my attention, you are welcome to, but you have but one chance before I set aside this intrusion to my work time as mere poppycock." Table: laughs Well played, Matt.

BONUS LAURA 2:38:45 Laura: (pulls down) O.O'

ORION, WE HAVE A PROBLEM I don't think the half-chub was a real problem. I don't think his shopping was a problem. But a littany of other problems appeared in this single episode that were worrying.

cheating about spell slots available cheating about "creative" use of spells cheating about dice rolling (arcane check) cheating about damage dice (d10 not d8) not paying attention interrupting others turns

it all adds up

BONUS HUMOR 2:50:54 Taliesin: "I would prefer not the direct route." Orion: "Always go in the backdoor." Taliesin: "Can you say anything that is not laced with sexual innuendo?"

pic related

3:34:11 A last, happy, shining moment on the CR stream. And so we leave Orion Acaba.