Firaeveus Carron

Carron upon seeing an armored division of Rhinos, Predator tanks, Land Raiders and a few Dreadnoughts, complete with Thunderhawk and Stormraven aerial support.

This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.

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This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail. Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.

"Look, Rhinos! RHHIIINNNOOOOSSS! Our enemies hide in MEHTUL BAWKSES, teh cowards, teh fewls!... asthma we should take away their MEHTAL BAWKSES"

– You know who

Lord Firaeveus Carron is a Chaos Lord that favored Khorne (much to the latter's eternal embarrassment) followed Chaos Undivided with heavy leanings towards a Lesser Deity of Chaos known as the Box God (to whom he would offer the metal boxes of his enemies in tribute), featured in Dawn of War: Soulstorm, where he led the Alpha Legion (much to their everlasting shame, they have disavowed him ever since) on Kaurava.

Like most of the Chaos Lords featured in Dawn of War (Minus Eliphas of course), he was immortalized by his awkward language and epic statement: METAL BAWKSES! He says this particular line if he should ever attack the Blood Ravens' stronghold and when they start to send Rhino Transports, and didn't even seem aware that Chaos Marines also use them. The very sight of them sends Carron flying into a rage where he loudly rants about them. He also appears to suffer from a form of space asthma, considering he takes his time and gasps loudly whenever he starts getting angry while speaking. And despite being part of Chaos Undivided, the Warp Storm has driven him and his men to complete lunacy (THHHEEEEYYY COOOMMMMEEEE!!!!) when whatever force came knocking at his door, and he makes the fatal mistake of worshiping Khorne not through battle but constructing temples in his name (which, at one point, he comes pretty close to crying about when you manage to break a few).

Put simply, he's an idiot, probably the dumbest Chaos Marine to ever live (not even Khorne can help his sorry ass, despite the fact that he acquired a Khornate chainaxe), and the voice acting for him ranges from so bad it's good to being painful to the ears. This was not Scott McNeil's finest work. He gets slightly less stupid if you play as him, but only because playable Carron is out hunting skulls while enemy Carron thinks the best way to worship Khorne is to hide behind a shield. Yes, he spends the entire stronghold mission hiding while trying to sing praises to Khorne. Like we said, goddamn moron.

Also if you should be winning in the mission against his stronghold, he starts to panic and then flies into one of the funniest despairing rages ever as he flees while his forces are being gunned down (even with the fricking cultists still holding their ground), only for him to still be caught by the enemy commander and cut down in a one to one duel - (that's right this supposedly deadly chaos marine lord could be outfought in a duel by the tau commander, known for their lack of close combat skills). Seeing him turned into a whipped whiner would make poor Eliphas cringe in shame. Canonically, given that Gorgutz was the conqueror of Kaurava he died running away from a charging Ork horde tearing through his remaining marines, cultists, and daemons while crying about flowers only for Gorgutz to prevent him from escaping by beating him to death and tearing off his head for his bosspole. So rather like Crull did, though at least Crull at least was actively looking for a fight with Gorgutz after his whole army was destroyed and was screaming threats before he got krumped; not blubbering like a baby while trying to flee like a coward and abandoning his soldiers to their deaths.

He manages to make others stupider by mere association. Tahril considers Carron to be one of the two smart enemies he faces, which automatically makes him an even bigger idiot...maybe. Perhaps it's because Carron might be the one of the few people to find where his stronghold is on the moon of Kaurava IV since Carron's stronghold is on that same planet. He still overestimates Carron's competence as a commander.

Rhinos...

His epic line is as follows: Look Rhinos...RRRHHHIIIIIINNNNOOOEESSS! OUA ENEMIES HIDE IN MEHTAL BAWKSES, DA COWARDS! TEH FEWLZ!!! WE - We should take away....their Mehtal BAWKSES.

He also has a part time job as a nature documentary commentator.

In-Game Stats

Humorously, despite being a Khornate devotee, Carron does a bit less damage than a fully-equipped Eliphas the Inheritor in the campaign. Where he makes up for this (for the most part) is that Carron is equipped with a (surprisingly powerful) Flamer that is used along with all of his other weapons, meaning that Carron has significantly better DPS than Eliphas against infantry and commanders (especially small groups), and breaks their morale a lot easier. Notably, Carron can reliably (and handily) defeat both Gorgutz 'Ead Hunter and Eliphas in a fight, mostly because the sheer morale damage he inflicts means that anyone getting near him breaks morale in only a few seconds of exposure. He's thus extremely useful and a bit less situational than Eliphas was.

For the most part, however, he can't solo things as well as Eliphas could, and he isn't anywhere NEAR as durable. Whereas Eliphas could be counted on to wreck a Relic unit's shit when maxed, Carron can't do so nearly as well, dealing a full 25% less damage to many units - damage that simply isn't made up for by his flame attacks. He also isn't as good at vehicle-busting or HQ-bashing, which was one of several reasons Eliphas is a pretty cool guy.

So the reason he hates Metal Boxes is because his melee attacks do much less to them than Eliphas' did, and the dude's jealous.

Ascension

Carron makes a Farseer have a very bad day.

A very interesting difference between Carron and Eliphas is that while Eliphas' Daemonic Ascension is, for most intents and purposes, a downgrade - Eliphas loses access to many of his shiniest bits (including the Daemonic Gauntlets and Banner of Chaos) - the same isn't true of Carron.

Carron, in his transformation, actually maintains several of his goodies from his standard campaign form, including the Helm of Alpharius detection ability and his Banner of Chaos ability. While he loses his ranged weapons, He is significantly better than Eliphas' Daemonic form and, indeed, Carron's standard form. He sees a 20-30% increase in damage across the board from his upgrades depending on what he's swinging at, and since he still has his Banner and the passive from his armor active (on top of his existing abilities), Carron is basically unstoppable by any enemy that has a morale score. Most enemies will be Squad Broken in moments, and the ones that don't he'll be able to use Daemonic Roar to instantly chase off. On his own, Carron's ascended form can destroy an HQ in under a minute by himself, and with full upgrades and Daemonic Strength active, can basically obliterate any opponent in the game one-on-one, with the only exception being Commander Or'es'Ka, who can lock him down with snare traps.

Maybe there was something to his devotion of Khorne after all.

Codex: Firaeveus Carron

Much like Boreale, GW decided to accept his plea to be a separate unit.

	Pts	WS	BS	S	T	W	I	A	Ld	Sv
Firaeveus Carron:	100	6	5	4	4	3	5	3	10	3+

Wargear: Power armor, bolt pistol, chainsword, frag and krak grenades. Carron may take items from the Melee Weapons, Ranged Weapons, Chaos Rewards and/or Special Issue Wargear sections of the Wargear list (see p. 94 of Codex: Chaos Space Marines).

Rhinos....RHIIIINOOOOS!

Such is Lord Carron's hate of Rhinos that he wishes nothing more than to utterly brutalize them. Whenever Lord Carron charges any Rhino-based vehicle (Rhino Transports, Predator Tanks, Whirlwind Artillery Tanks, Razorbacks, and Vindicators. Loyalist or Traitor.) he will attack with the Smash special rule and automatically inflicts a "Crew Stunned" result once he reaches base contact with the vehicle that cannot be negated or re-rolled, regardless of the charged vehicle's abilities to do so.

Additionally, Lord Carron may not embark Rhino transports, nor may any unit he is attached to.

METAL BAWKSES!

Lord Carron has a certain disdain for any kind of MEHTAL BAWKS that it leads him to violently charge them whenever he gets the chance. Whenever he charges any non-Rhino vehicle, the charged vehicle suffers from "Crew Shaken". Additionally, he bows down to no bawks. Lord Carron automatically passes any leadership test initiated by vehicles.

Additionally, because Lord Carron loathes being inside METAL BAWKSES, he is constantly on edge whenever inside other transports. Even those that aren't Rhinos. Whenever Lord Carron is in any other vehicle; roll 2d6 every turn:

• If the result is 2-3; Lord Carron snaps within the confines of the vehicle he is riding in and it suffers -1 Hull Point, due to Lord Carron tearing out the vehicle's broadside. Lord Carron then gains -1WS, +2A, and fleet when he disembarks from the vehicle and he may also not enter a vehicle while these bonuses are in effect. These bonuses lasts for 2 turns or until Lord Carron successfully eliminates a unit in assault.
• If the result is 4-11; Lord Carron remains marginally calm. Resume the phase as normal.
• If the result is 12; Lord Carron remains focused, slowly re purposing his anger for metal boxes for anger towards the enemies of Chaos. He will no longer require additional rolls for the duration of his stay in the vehicle and when he disembarks, he will treat the vehicle as if it has an assault ramp and frag launchers, even if said vehicle does not or cannot mount one, for that same turn.

Independent Character

Firaeveus Carron is an independent character and follows all of the rules for characters in the Warhammer 40,000 rulebook.

Leader

Carron may not join any friendly units of daemons or units from the Fast Attack sections of their army lists.

NOTE: The "Fearless" and "Champion of Chaos" special rules that would be found in the profiles for regular Chaos Lords have been deliberately omitted from the rules for Firaeveus Carron, as he is neither fearless nor a very worthy champion.

Codex: Carron the Damned

After the circumstances of the Kaurava conflict's ending were explored further, GW has released an alternative set of rules for those who wish to forge a narrative wherein Firaeveus Carron was defeated, but managed to live past his canonical defeat... for a certain manner of "living".

7th Edition	Pts	WS	BS	S	Front	Side	Rear	I	A	HP	Unit Type
Carron the Damned:	200	6	4	7	13	12	10	4	6	3	Vehicle (Walker, Character)

Wargear: Power fist, Multi-melta. Carron the Damned may replace or upgrade any of his weapons with the standard options available to a Helbrute. Carron the Damned may take Extra Vehicle Armor (10 pts) or Dedication to Khorne (20 pts). You may not designate Carron the Damned as your Warlord. Carron the Damned may not embark any Transports while in play, but may take a Chaos Dreadclaw Drop Pod as a Dedicated Transport.

Crazed

As per the rules for a standard Helbrute.

Rhinos....RHIIIINOOOOS!

Even in death Carron's hatred of Rhinos still burns. Whenever Carron charges any Rhino-based vehicle (Rhino Transports, Predator Tanks, Whirlwind Artillery Tanks, Razorbacks, and Vindicators. Loyalist or Traitor.) he will attack with the Smash special rule and automatically inflicts a "Crew Stunned" result once he reaches base contact with the vehicle that cannot be negated or re-rolled, regardless of the charged vehicle's abilities to do so. Furthermore, Carron's imprisonment in his TIGHT METAL BOX has only inflamed his hatred to near apoplectic levels. At the start of your movement, shooting, and assault phases; if Carron has line of sight to a Rhino-based vehicle within 9" of him, and if he does not respectively move towards, shoot, or fight or declare a charge against the vehicle, then Carron gains a Crazed Marker. In addition, subtract 1 from all Crazed and TIGHT METAL BAWKS! rolls until the end of your next turn, this effect can stack. In the event of multiple Rhino-based vehicles within 9", then Carron gains the Furious Charge rule and must declare a charge against the closest Rhino-based vehicle if able.

METAL BAWKSES!

Carron has such a certain disdain for any kind of MEHTAL BAWKS that it leads him to violently charge them whenever he gets the chance, and his entombment has only worsened this mania. Whenever he charges any non-Rhino vehicle, the charged vehicle suffers from "Crew Shaken". Furthermore, at the start of your movement, shooting, and assault phases; if Carron has line of sight to a non-Rhino-based vehicle within 9" of him, and if he does not respectively move towards, shoot, or fight or declare a charge against the vehicle, then Carron gains a Crazed Marker. In addition, shooting attacks not directed towards the vehicle suffer -1 to hit. In the event of multiple non-Rhino vehicles within 9", then you may choose which vehicle counts for the resolution of this rule.

TIGHT METAL BAWKS!

Carron's lucidity ebbs and flows on the tides of his shattered sanity, sometimes, he realizes that he has been trapped inside of a tight metal box. If at any time during your turn Carron the Damned has 2+ Crazed Markers, or if you begin your turn when Carron the Damned has 2+ Crazed Markers; then clear all Crazed Markers and roll 2d6:

• If the result is 2-3; Carron the Damned's fragile mental state snaps within the confines of the TIGHT METAL BOX he is entombed in. Sobbing and blubbering, Carron lashes out all units within 3" of him, resolve an attack from each of his melee weapons against them at 3WS. If there are no units in range, then roll 1d2; on a 1, resolve an attack from one of Carron's melee weapons against himself using his Front AV value, this attack does not automatically hit to represent the wild and despairing flailing of Carron, if Carron has more than one melee weapon, then randomly choose which one to be used; on a 2, Carron moves 2d6" towards the nearest building or piece of obscuring cover that will obscure him from the view of both allied and enemy units in his current line of sight, Carron will move in as straight of a line as possible to the destination, even through other pieces of obscuring cover or the walls of the building, if he does so, then destroy the pieces of cover or resolve an attack from each of his melee weapons against the building before placing him at the destination.
• If the result is 4-11; Carron remains marginally stable. Gain 1 Crazed Marker and resume the phase as normal.
• If the result is 12; Carron's little remaining sanity dissolves into a momentary madness, it is a good pain. Carron then gains -1WS, +2A, and fleet. These bonuses lasts for 2 turns or until Carron successfully eliminates a unit in assault. Carron may not gain Crazed Markers while these bonuses are in effect.

If Carron departed a transport at any time, then Carron must immediately roll on this table. If you roll on this table then you may not make any Crazed Rolls until the beginning of your next turn.

Alpharius! You can't do that! You'll create a time paradox!

If Carron the Damned is in your Detachment or Formation, you may not take Firaeveus Carron in the same Detachment, Formation, or any other allied Detachments or Formations.

Writefaggatory

The fall of Lord Carron and his delve into eternal madness.

DA COWARDS! THE FEWLS!

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Excerpts from the heretical logs of an unknown traitor Alpha Legion marine

Section #??: The fall of Lord Carron and his delve into eternal madness.

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I am but an Aspiring Champion who wishes to serve his daemon masters in all things, I am but a humble follower to the True powers. I came through the warp storm along with five hundred more of my brothers as additional reinforcements as our hold in the Peninsula of Iseult was slipping due to increasing raids from Dark Eldar reivers and the Imperial fools who were led by a fearsome and dreaded commander. Indeed, we were losing ground but we all knew that we could not retreat, for it was for the eternal glory of Chaos. *The rest of the records appears are too warped to be translated, however more recent records that took place are translatable*

By my fifth day of duty in this blasted system, the Imperial lackeys were marching forth to our positions. we have lost 2 of our monuments dedicated to Khorne. We've set up a defensive line at our stronghold and we only have but 3 Defilers, and 80 of our brothers left ,and 3 heavy bolter turrets defending our main base it would appear we will not be able to hold against the Imperial Baneblades but we shall stand our ground for Chaos. At first we urged Lord Carron to requisition some Predator Tanks to help us hold the base but refused as according to him he loathes metal boxes or something like that. Three more hours into the fight and the Imperial Guard already removed the tainted field that keeps us invincible and we know that it as only a matter of time before they march onwards on us. After but a few more hours the Imperial Guard has surrounded our positions and I'm leading the remnants of my brothers in combat, apparently I'm the only one keeping them from falling back as the artillery was battering us down. We were assigned to hold the western side of the base along with a Defiler which gave us hope a bit of comfort that we might live to fight another day. The Guardsmen pored forth along with a Leman Russ tank, two of the marines in my squad still had their missile launchers so we were able to keep the tank from running over our trenchline. The Baneblade that crushed our monuments was already moving in from the distance and if the foolish lackeys don't smash us, that killdozer will. From the frantic vox-caster transmissions I was hearing it would appear that we cannot hold our positions any longer and we will have to retreat back to the warp if we were ever to serve Chaos again.

Everything then went to shit when the southern line was breached and our stronghold was destroyed, the southern line was also where our Lord, Firaeveus Carron fought in. We immediately pulled back and attempted to aid our liege who was in peril with the damaged Defiler giving us cover. We waded through the ruins of our base when suddenly a baneblade was closing in with it's cannons blazing. A large group of Cultists charged the Baneblade screaming in their girly voices "CHAAAAARRRRGGGGEEE!", it wasn't too long before the Baneblade blasted them to oblivion where a spleen suddenly flew to my face and we were showered by the unrecognizable bits of Cultists. As hurried to assist our lord, we however were too late, the general leading the Imperial Guard challenged Lord Carron to a duel and he inevitably lost, really the guy was badass with his stern voice and uncompromising look. We overran him and he fell back, Lord Carron appears to still be alive but if he was not going to survive if we do not retreat to the warp, he lost his left arm and bleeding severely. We commandeered 2 Chaos Rhinos and the surviving sorcerer conjured a small portal for us to escape in. We loaded the wounded along with Lord Carron inside the Rhinos and the rest of us fell back to the warp. I was inside the Rhino as I drove the thing to the warp and I could have sworn I'm hearing Lord Carron muttering: "metal...boxes....cowards....".

A few years after the Kaurava defeat, Lord Carron was in a long term coma of sorts, he was lying in that altar in the Chaos Temple for ages now. After desecrating countless lands and felling numerous infidels, I'm now a Chaos Lord thank the Gods and I currently serve as the commander of my warband in Lord Carron's absence. I came to pay my respects to Lord Carron as he did mentor me on a few things that propelled me to where I am today back then. While placing a pike near his body that contained the head of some Space Marine Captain, a tending heretic priest came through the doors and a shared with me the news that should Lord Carron recover from his coma, he would be nearly useless as the wounds that General back in Kaurava struck a mighty blow that rendered the lower half of his body useless, even with bionic augments installed. A Heretek who happened to stroll by overheard our conversation and recommended that Lord Carron should be interred into the hull of a Chaos Dreadnought that a Chaos forgeworld recently restored to working condition. During that time I forgot about the only thing Lord Carron hates more than anything, even more than Slaaneshi cultists begging him to become his retinue: Metal boxes.

A week later, Lord Carron was interred into the Dreadnought, I've heard that only a few Marines ever stayed sane after being attached to one and I'm worried about Lord Carron's anger issues but....what can go wrong? I thought. It was a peculiar note that it was not like the other regular Dreadnoughts Chaos used, it was more like the Loyalist's variant complete with the boxy design and twin-CCWs with a storm bolter attached to one of the claws, which wasn't readily available to us as we preferred to mount the more superior autocannons. The fallen techpriest explained that this Dreadnought was a former Ultramarines Dreadnought that was disabled by an Iron Warriors havoc squad when a havoc shot the sarcophagus with a Krak Missile. For reasons only Chaos would know, the havoc's missile only penetrated the sarcophagus' armor plating enough that the explosion was only enough to kill the loyalist pup inside but not enough to seriously damage the equipment inside the sarcophagus needed to pilot the Dreadnought. The chassis was then bought by the Forge World in exchange for 2 Chaos Predators, and they thought that in a parody of the loyalists' "Holy Dreadnought", they kept most of the Dreadnought's design, save for the Imperial symbols that were replaced with Chaos stars, with the Sarcophagus' design learned more towards Khorne as it was prepared for Lord Carron.

Going back, I was there in that memorable moment when the Dreadnought finally moved by itself and Lord Carron speaking....or grunting for the first time in ages. It stood up and looked around, Lord Carron after a few seconds finally realized that he was inside a Dreadnought Sarcophagus....which was made out of metal...and shaped like a box. The tending Tech-priest attempted to communicate with Lord Carron but he was consumed with great hate and rage, he raised his dreadnought close combat weapons into the air and shouted: "MEHTAL BAWKSES!!!!!!" over and over again and he broke out of the machinery monitoring the Dreadnought's systems. Thank the Gods we haven't fitted him with ranged weaponry other than a storm-bolter because the depot would have been razed to the ground if we armed him with anything heavier. Lord Carron tore through half the fallen Tech-Priest's depot, destroyed several vehicles inside along with some unlucky tech-priests, and tore through the reinforced blast doors, this surprised everyone as those doors were designed to withstand virtually all types of damage known to man and xenos, even hits from power weapons or a seismic hammer.

The tech-priest again attempted to communicate to Lord Carron but he appears to be drowned in rage and insanity that he does not listen to reason and all we could hear from our vox-casters were the same "METAL BOXES!" as he stormed off. Lord Carron wandered in the wastes of the warp and was never seen again. However during a few of our raids on several planets, I did hear from a few cultists that a lone Chaos Dreadnought occasionally rampages through several systems when warp instabilities appeared and created rifts from the immaterium to the materium and during those attacks he would keep screaming repetitive and unrecognizable screams that sounded like "Mehtal bakses" or something. Could it be Lord Carron? Could it be another Dreadnought? I for one do not know.

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Entities end here

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The End of Chaos

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The End of Chaos

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Nurgle laughed. Nothing ever gave him greater joy than creating a new plague with which to spread his gift to the various beings of the galaxy. As he was putting the finishing touches on his new brew, however, he heard a rumbling sound. Curious at the unfamiliar occurrence, he turned to face it, only to be instantly obliterated before he could even complete the motion.

Slaanesh was occupied by a new batch of Eldar sacrifices, brought to it by its ever-loyal minions. "Don't worry", it cooed to its terrified meal, "all the repression you've suffered...all the rigid thoughts, endless training, tragic attempts at avoiding the inevitable...you'll forget all of it so soon. It may be unbearable at first, but perhaps in time you'll learn to accept, even relish, my...attention". The Eldar squirmed in the cage, in vain (common behavior to sacrifices), but they suddenly stilled (which was certainly not common at all). Curious, Slaanesh thought, before it heard a rumbling sound over the screams of its servants. It turned to face the sound, catching only a glimpse before being annihilated.

Khorne sat upon his throne of skulls, for the first time in millenia, with mixed emotions. More than anything, he felt rage: rage against the enemy who had deprived him of slaughtering Slaanesh himself. Angry that Slaanesh was really just pathetic after all. Angry that an enemy he knew nothing about had slain two gods of Chaos, however weak, while he had barely been able to trouble them. For all this, however, he was curious: what kind of enemy could defeat two gods within their own realms? Had the pathetic Emperor of Man gained some new strength..? Had a damnable Grey Knight become even more inexplicably powerful in recent times? Or was his foe an entirely new one?

In any case, Khorne was excited. Tzeentch had been the one to tell him of the fate of the other gods (which had been easy to verify) and had also informed Khorne he would almost certainly be next, as Tzeentch himself suddenly went into hiding. A coward to the end, Tzeentch, but Khorne awaited his challenge eagerly. Suddenly, he too heard the rumbling, coming from beyond his fortress. He stood and grabbed his favorite sword, for the first time in too many years, and he readied himself. The enemy burst forth from the walls, but before Khorne could even finish the swing of his sword, he was no more.

Tzeentch, of course, had innumerable plans for enemies powerful enough to defeat the Chaos gods, but for the first time he found himself struggling to implement them. He was constantly on the move throughout the warp, but the enemy was drawing ever nearer, and he knew almost nothing about his foe. Every attempt to discover the nature of his enemy had failed, often disastrously, so now he merely struggled for time. As he contemplated his newest plan, he heard a rumbling sound. Tzeentch fired every spell he had in every direction, but it was too late: the last Chaos god had been crushed.

In the proceeding weeks, the immaterium was somehow even more chaotic than usual. Lesser demons struggled to fill the gap of the fallen gods, and the Chaos marines either fought each other for control (more than usual), made a final, suicidal decision to charge at Terra out of despair, or simply left the immaterium to try and join those warbands who had somehow survived without the aid of any god. The Imperials rejoiced at their sudden, unexpected victory. It was a sure sign that the emperor was still fighting, still winning, and with renewed vigor they launched crusade after crusade against all who stood in their way. The Eldar simply sulked: happy to be free of Slaanesh, but sort of depressed they their entire race was no longer certainly doomed.

What, however, was the truth? Who had slain the gods? Only two men within the warp knew the full answer: a man clad in red, with a black raven, and another in black and grey, adorned with skulls and spikes. The former laughed, the latter wept. The latter had known this day would come: he had tried to warn them, again and again, of the Great Ferrous Enemy, he who's rectangular angles would destroy them. Crazy, they had called him (even by Chaos standards), how could such objects ever be a threat to Chaos? he had known, however. He knew not how, but he had known. Time and time again he had fought with all his might, but it had never been enough. In time, the ridicule wore him down, and finally, his enemy bested him, and he was taken prisoner, to eternally polish that which he had sought to destroy. Even so, however, he had dreamed that Chaos would prevail. How could Chaos possibly lose? was Chaos not the strongest? For all its strength, however, Chaos had failed.

The man in red knew failure as well: all thought he had failed on Karuva. HE had thought he had failed. In the warp, however, he learned of his Chapter's greatest secret: The Great Ferrous Crate, filled with relics from every corner of the galaxy: his chance of redemption. He led the Blood Revans in the Warp, gathering relics after their still-living counterparts had thrown them into the eye, killing all those who tried to stop him, slowly assembling the single greatest threat to the universe ever conceived: the Box God - He who would launch a great crusade to "gift" everything of value in the universe. He had already received the emperor's soul as a "gift", and would use him to turn mankind into the greatest "Beneficiaries" of the civilizations in the universe, who were as of yet unaware of the "gifts" they would bestow upon mankind.

Thus, for the enemies of man, the nightmare had only just begun.

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War Never Ends

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The early origins of Firaeveus Carron

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Excerpts from the databanks of an ancient, pre-heresy servo-skull belonging to an Alpha Legion Apothecary. Date: ????????? Log 999.1: Additional notes during the end of the Tesstra Prime campaign.

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Brother-Apothecary ########## of the Alpha Legion, ####### Company, additional entry to chapter log 999. Reporting notably out-of-place behavior within a battle brother within the ###### Company.

• Subject's name: Firaveus Carron.
• Rank: Battle Brother
• Company: #########
• Personal notes: Subject has been involved in a particularly unfavorable act of recklessness, which has been mostly overlooked, due to his acts eventually resulting in our victory.

• Additional notes of Battle Brother ########, an eye witness

Brother Carron was attached to a 10-man squad, under the command of Sergeant ########, belonging to the Alpha Legion ####### Company as an ambush force during an operation to take the Capital World's city, Tesstra's last bastion of resistance. The squad's original mission was to ambush a large infantry regiment marching through the area.

According to the data we have received from the local loyalist militia, the regiment did not contain too many armored vehicles and any that would appear can be easily dispatched with. Acting upon this information, our Primarch ########### decided that a small infiltration force consisting of 3 10-man tactical squads, would ambush this battalion while the main force would assault the city itself. Failure would mean that the city's defenders would be receiving their reinforcements and would make taking it much more difficult.

Brother Carron was relatively new to the ####### Company, having served no more than a decade as a fully-fledged battle brother. This would be him and his squad's first major operation. The other two squads, led by Veteran-sergeant ####### and Veteran-sergeant #######, would accompany them. He was also known to have partaken in an oath of silence of sorts, since his indoctrination. He has not spoken a word to anyone since he was chosen as a potential recruit from an orphanage on our homeplanet, according to the matron. Normally, this act would deny a candidate sooner or later, but the Apothecaries argued that his ability to pass all of the tests laid out for recruits with amazing efficiency would be beneficial for the chapter. He was known, however, to avoid the Rhino transports of the chapter. After the routine field exercises for recruits, Brother Carron would refuse transport, and would instead walk back to the Chapter Monastery on his own.

Going back, all was well, both squads were inserted into the area undetected and proceeded to dig in into a concealed position and waited, while the main attack force was landing near the perimeter of the capital city, preparing for the main offensive. Then, when the regiment arrived in sight, we were taken by surprise. It was a full-fledged mechanized division consisting of infantry carried by dozens of Rhino APCs and supported by a few makeshift predator tanks. Expecting mostly infantry, we were caught unprepared and were easily overwhelmed. It seems that the militia betrayed us, even the main attack force was ambushed by the enemy and were fighting back.

We did not have enough missiles to take them all down, for every Rhino we destroyed, there were more than we could shoot at and we were forced to direct most of our anti-armour weaponry on tanks, who posed much more of a threat. Veteran-Sergeant #######'s squad was all but destroyed and only us and Veteran Sergeant #######'s squad was in battle-capable condition.

The vehicles kept encircling our position, gunning us down while we tried to take aim. Whenever one of us tried to let fly a rocket, they would fire at the gunner, preventing us from accurately aiming a shot. Just then, a tank shot it's autocannon at us and destroyed our cover position, killing brother ###### in the process. As I was surveying the situation, I simply observed Brother Carron standing in the middle of our destroyed cover, staring near Brother ######'s corpse. He then dropped his bolter and picked up the Shock Mace from our wounded Brother Sergeant.

Standard Alpha Legion protocol requires us to hold our ground until reinforcements arrive, which were certainly not possible at the moment. Brother Carron however, in what could only be explained as a fit of madness, stood up high and exposed, and suddenly yelled:

"Rhinos.....Rhinos...RHINOS.....RHHHIIIIINNOOOOOOOSS!" as he jumped from our elevated ground and into an enemy Rhino. Utterly stunning both forces. This was also, the first time he broke his silence since we come to know him.

He then swung at the turret gunner, his body exploding in a shower of gore, and proceeded to smash away the upper hull of the Rhino he landed on, revealing the terrified soldiers inside who shot at him erratically with their autoguns, their bullets bouncing off his power armor. He then held up high and armed a promethium charge while yelling:

"OUR ENEMIES HIDE IN METAL BOXES! THE COWARDS! THE FOOLS!"

Brother Carron proceeded to do the same to 3 more Rhinos. 3 Rhinos are now a smoldering ruin with the occupants either dead or burning horribly. 2 more Rhinos fell against him as he swung his Shock Mace towards them with so much force that he cleft their front armor in two, utterly killing the pilots and sending the horrified troops inside reeling. Which we promptly gunned down.

We could only watch in awe as he proceeded to jump into a predator tank, decapitating the unlucky pintle-gunner with his bare hands and then proceeded to take the tank commander and driver by the neck and heft them violently aside before commandeering the tank and proceeding to fire upon a few enemy tanks from the rear with near perfect accuracy. When his autocannon ran out of ammunition, he proceeded to speed the tank towards a stunned enemy Rhino, disabled from a fortunate missile strike, and utterly gore it into a twisted mess of metal and flesh, before dismounting.

As he stood there on the killing fields, all the vehicles proceeded to retreat, there were only around 6 Rhinos, out of the original 14, with one being abandoned by the occupants out of fear. In a statement that puzzled all of us, Brother Carron proceeded to get into the Rhino and said:

"I....I shall take away.....their metal boxes..."

He sped the Rhinos towards the direction where the Rhinos retreated. He did not wait for us to reinforce him, he did not wait to be resupplied, he simply took the vehicle and went towards, with what we realized later, was the direction of the capital city. Though in the distance, we could clearly hear him bellow on the Rhino's vox:

"YOU DIE TODAAAAAAAAAY!"

I was unable to follow Brother Carron any further as I was too busy tending to my battle brothers' wounds. But, from some of the hear-says and stories I heard around after the operation, while the attacking force was bogged down in the gates by heavy enemy fire by more predator tanks, a lone Rhino reportedly sped towards their position, crashing and destroying the enemy command predator and leaving the entire forward defense force stunned and disorganized, while the occupant, who is certainly Brother Carron, proceeded to tear open several more tanks with a shock-mace, allowing the defense force to advance and eventually take the city.

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Retribution

During the Chaos Campaign, the Honor Guard Dreadnought often screams about the tight METAL BOX! it is trapped inside. Possibly making the Write Faggotry above canon. And proving that someone, at THQ's HQ, is a fa/tg/uy (or a ca/tg/irl)

The Orkz can also find a beamy deffgun for Mr. Nailbrain called "Box Smasha" with a description reading something along the lines of "so you can take away da ennahmies' metal boxes" (+30 damage to vehicles!). At least some things penetrated Relic's thick skulls.

METAL BAWXES!

METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES DA COWARDZ, DA FEWLZ, METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES METAL BAWXES

See Also

• METAL BOXES
• Carron got mazed.