Braindead Bimbo Barbarians is an in-progress /tg/ homebrew system where the players take on the roles of the titular characters in a "swords and sluttery" setting. Everything here is, at best, an early beta.
[[Image:Bbb kickstarter splash.jpg|right]]
'''note:''' On February 15, 2013 BBB was launched as a Kickstarter Campaign to raise $2500. Funds will go towards printing & shipping physical copies of the game to backers and paying the artists responsible for the delicious cheesecake therein. Project details at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/burrowowl/busty-barbarian-bimbos/
Originally known as "Braindead Bimbo Barbarians," Busty Barbarian Bimbos is a lighthearted fantasy roleplaying game of swords & sluttery for people who don't take themselves too seriously. Players take on the role of the ridiculously under-dressed women featured on the covers and interior art of fantasy and sci-fi books. The rules and setting are rigged to provide such characters with opportunities to succeed and excel.
Originated on the /tg/ board of 4chan, the project was picked up for further development, playtesting, and proper publishing by [http://pub.burrowowl.net Burrowing Owl Publications]. It exceeded its goal by over '''$10,000'''(!!!), and the rewards were delivered by mid-2014. Rules are now available for purchase on Amazon and BoardGameGeek. A [[/tg/ gets shit done|/tg/ success story]] indeed!
== SLUT Engine ==
== SLUT Engine ==
'''Slap''': is a Bimbo's physical strings and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics.<br/>
'''STATS'''
'''Slap''': is a Bimbo's physical strength and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics.<br/>
'''Legs''': is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc.<br/>
'''Legs''': is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc.<br/>
'''Uhm''': is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic.<br/>
'''Uhm''': is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic.<br/>
'''Tits''': is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.<br/>
'''Tits''': is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.<br/>
These stats have a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 6 (though items and temporary mods can change this). When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stat. For an easy check, the player rolls 1d6. For a medium check, the player rolls 2d6, and the player rolls 3d6 for a difficult check. In all checks, if all dice rolled are equal to or below the bimbo's stat, she succeeds.
These stats have a minimum of 2 and a maximum of 5. When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stats. Always roll three 6-sided dice.
Rolling all ones results in a critical success, while rolling all sixes results in a critical failure. For criticals in combat, consult the relevant table. Non-combat criticals are currently up to the DM.
At the GM's discretion, a player may "raise" to increase the difficulty of a roll in exchange for a better result.
* For an easy check one success is needed.
* For a normal check two successes are needed.
* For a hard check, all dice shown must be successes. Deception only counts doesn't add up
== Character Creation ==
Rolling two or more ones results in a critical success, while rolling two or more sixes results in a fumble (critical failure).
To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. Subtract the total from 19, and whatever is left over becomes her Titties. This process cannot take any stat over 6, so randomly assign any points that are left over. Bimbos have a base movement speed of 3. The GM may choose to allow starting equipment as well, usually a weapon and a generic, poor quality outfit that provides no modifiers.
===Alternate character gen:===
At the GM's discretion, a player may "raise" to increase the difficulty of a roll in exchange for a better result. This effectively turns a success into a critical success.
Produces lower-powered bimbos but has less random redistribution of points:
To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. To determine Tits, start from zero and add one for each roll of 3 or 4, add two for each roll of 1 or 2. If the total Tits is under 2, subtract 1 each from Slap, Legs, and Uhm for being a filthy cheater, and set Tits to 1. Equip your bimbo with one accessory, one top, one bottom, and footwear. This starting equipment grants no bonuses or special abilities. Roll up one heavy weapon and one light weapon from the table below. At the GM's discretion you may select your own equipment.
===A Word on Math===
Math is like, hard n' stuff. The SLUT engine is as math-lite as possible to accommodate in-character play and because it's funny in the context of the premise.you only get what you see
===Abilities===
== Character Creation ==
Next, choose two of the following features.
There are three character-creation options. Generate your stats with three dice and a small amount of math, generate your stats and assign abilities collaboratively, and generate your stats with three die rolls and a couple tables. Once your four stats are determined, assign two Basic Abilities and one Advanced Ability. Figure out a number of mechanically-irrelevant facts about your Bimbo (dress size, favorite coffee drink order, astrological sign, etc), and you're off to the races.
====Bounce====
==NPCs==
any character attempting to engage a bimbo with the Bounce ability must make a Difficult check instead of the normal Medium check.
====Cleave====
NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (5)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and hoard treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs may have special abilities as well.
When you hit with a Slap or Legs-based attack, you may make another attack. May only be used against opponents you are currently engaged with.
====DTF====
For any rule that describes the use of a specific bimbo stat (Slap, Legs, Uhm, or Tits), the NPC's single stat may be substituted at the GM's discretion.
Upon a successful Legs check to engage an enemy, a bimbo with the DTF ability may make her immediate attack attempt as an Easy Legs or Slap check (if it normally would have been Medium), or as a Medium Legs or Slap check (if it would normally have been Difficult).
====Flash====
==Combat==
When you would be hit by an attack from an appropriately oriented enemy, force a re-roll. Lose any abilities and modifiers attached to your top, and your top may not be used for a wardrobe malfunction again, until the end of your next turn.
Sometimes bimbos get into fights. In Busty Barbarian Bimbos they get into fights a lot.
====Flex====
When you would make a Titties check, make a Slap check instead. On a failure, lose access to Slap for one turn.
====Oh No You Didn't====
A bimbo with Oh No You Didn't that sacrifices an article of clothing to negate an attack benefits from it for the remainder of the encounter, not just for one turn.
====Rawr====
When you grab an enemy, you cannot let go or be forced to let go while that enemy is capable of fighting back. Neither you nor this enemy may attack or be attacked by other characters.
====Upstage====
When an ally of a bimbo with Upstage is engaged with an enemy, the bimbo with Upstage can engage that same foe or foes with a Medium Tits check instead of a Legs check (this check is unaffected by Bounce). On success, the ally is no longer engaged with anybody.
====Watch Where You're Going====
While engaged with the same opponent as a allied bimbo, if the ally misses a Slap or Legs-based attack, you may make a medium Slap check. On a success the ally make make an additional attack attempt and loses access to Uhm for a single turn. Of failure, the bimbo that tried to use this ability loses access to Uhm for a single turn. This ability may be used outside the normal turn order, but only once per turn.
==NPCs==
NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (6)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and horde treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs have HP equal to their one stat, and may have special abilities as well.
==Combat==
===Attack===
To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check.
To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check.
Successful attacks against an unavailable stat render that character incapacitated in a manner chosen by the DM.
===Damage===
No hit points. Target an opponent's stat of your choice (NPCs only have one stat). On a hit, that stat is not available for one round. It is disabled and vulnerable. After the target's turn, it is no longer disabled but still vulnerable. When the target's turn comes up a second time, it is no longer vulnerable either. If a stat is hit again while it is vulnerable, the target has been incapacitated and may not participate in the scene any more.
===Critical Hit Tables===
====Bimbos====
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Bimbo Critical Hit Table'''
|1: ||No additional effect
|-
|2: ||Pass a medium Slap check or be stunned (all attacks on next turn default to difficult instead of medium difficulty).
|-
|3: ||Pass a medium Legs check or be knocked prone (for the next turn, incoming attacks require only an easy check, cannot move).
|-
|4: ||Pass a medium Uhm check or [A BAD THING]
|-
|5: ||Pass a medium Titties check or become intimidated (all attacks against attacker default to difficult instead of medium difficulty for the duration of the fight)
|-
|6: ||Roll on Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table'''
|1: ||+1 damage
|-
|2: ||Enemy grabs
|-
|3: ||Enemy pushes one square
|-
|4: ||Enemy disarms
|-
|5: ||Roll twice on Bimbo Critical Hit Table, rerolling 1s and 6s
|-
|6: ||Roll on Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Hit Table
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Hit Table'''
|-
|1: ||+2 damage
|-
|2: ||Roll twice on Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table, rerolling 1s and 6s
|-
|3:||Long Term Injury (-1 Slap)
|-
|4: ||Nerve Damage (-1 Legs)
|-
|5: ||Head Injury (-1 Uhm)
|-
|6: ||Scar (-1 Titties)
|}
====NPCs====
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''NPC Critical Hit Table'''
|1: ||+1 damage
|-
|2: ||+2 damage
|-
|3: ||Attacker may immediately roll to trip
|-
|4: ||Attacker may immediately roll to grab
|-
|5: ||Attacker may immediately roll to push (colliding with an obstacle causes 1 damage, colliding with another character causes both to fall prone)
|-
|6: ||Attacker may immediately roll a second attack
|}
===Critical Miss Tables===
====Bimbos====
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Bimbo Critical Miss Table'''
|1: ||No additional effect
|-
|2: ||Dropped weapon
|-
|3: ||Drop random non-weapon equipment
|-
|4: ||Weapon caught in hair (can disentangle by either passing a medium Legs check or taking one damage, can attempt once per turn)
|-
|5: ||Weapon caught in clothes (can disentangle by either passing a medium Legs check or dropping a piece of equipment, can attempt once per turn)
|-
|6: ||Roll on Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table'''
|1: ||Throw weapon d6 squares in a random direction
|-
|2: ||Move 1 square in random direction (collide with wall = 1 damage, collide with character=both prone)
|-
|3: ||Weapon stuck in ground/wall (medium Slap check to remove)
|-
|4: ||Off balance until the end of next turn (require an easy check to hit)
|-
|5: ||Trip self (cannot move until end of next turn, and require an easy check to hit)
|-
|6: ||Roll on Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Miss Table
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
====Wardrobe Malfunction & Plot Armor====
|+'''Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Miss Table'''
A Bimbo may risk an article of clothing (a top, bottom, or footwear) to avoid a hit. NPCs have plot armor, which doesn't work as efficiently, tilting things in the players' favor.
|1: ||Roll an attack against a piece of equipment. On a hit, it is destroyed.
|-
|2: ||Weapon destroyed.
|-
|3: ||Target may immediately roll a counter attack.
|-
|4: ||Roll an attack against yourself.
|-
|5: ||Roll an attack against the nearest ally to the target, or yourself if none are in range.
|-
|6: ||Roll twice on the Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table
|}
====NPCs====
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''NPC Critical Miss Table'''
|1: Save or fall prone
|-
|2: Save or move into a random adjacent square and fall prone (colliding with an obstacle causes 1 damage, colliding with another character causes both to fall prone)
|-
|3: For the next turn, all attacks are hard difficulty checks
|-
|4: For the next turn, only requires an easy check to be hit
|-
|5: Attack an ally in range, or self if none are available
|-
|6: Attack self
|}
==Movement==
==Movement==
Outside of combat, movement happens at GM discretion. Generally speaking, you cannot expect a bimbo in high heels to walk for more than an hour or two at a time; those things are uncomfortable.
Outside of combat, movement happens at GM discretion. Generally speaking, you cannot expect a bimbo in high heels to walk for more than an hour or two at a time; those things are uncomfortable.don't think about that
===Engaging an Opponent===
===Engaging an Opponent===
Characters in combat are either engaged in melee with another character or not; let's not spend a lot of time tracking distances and stuff. That's complicated.
Characters in combat are either engaged in melee with another character or not; let's not spend a lot of time tracking distances and stuff. That's complicated. Characters can be engaged at normal range or skin-to-skin.
If two characters aren't engaged in melee and one of them wants to change that (maybe somebody with a sword wants to make an attack), she may make a medium Legs check to close the gap. Failure means that her opponent outmaneuvered her. NPCs use whatever their stat is, as usual. The person being engaged may opt to concede that melee is starting up and just skip the die roll.
If a bimbo successfully engages an opponent, she may immediately make an attack roll based on Legs or Slap. An NPC that successfully engages an opponent may immediately make an attack if the GM deems it appropriate. This represents the attacker having charged in swinging or thrusting her weapon.
===Disengaging from an Opponent===
Once engaged, a Bimbo may disengage with a Medium check against Slap, Legs, or Tits. If there are multiple opponents engaged, a Difficult check is required instead. This represents her shoving, dodging, or bluffing her way out of peril.
If a bimbo successfully disengages an opponent, she may immediately make an attack roll based on Legs or attempt to engage a different opponent as described above.
===Other uses of Movement===
====Flanking====
When engaging an opponent that is already engaged, a character may choose to flank her opponent. All Slap, Legs, or Uhm-based attacks against a flanked opponent that the attacker is engaged with is an Easy check if it would otherwise have been Medium. Such attacks are Medium checks if they would otherwise have been Difficult. Tits-based attacks suffer from the flanked target being already distracted, and become Medium checks if they would otherwise have been Easy, or a Difficult check if it otherwise would have been Medium.
====Cover====
At the GM's discretion, a combatant that is not currently engaged may make a Legs check to seek cover. The GM's discretion is important here because there may be no cover available. A character benefiting from cover cannot be attacked by opponents that have not engaged her. A character seeking to make a ranged attack against an opponent benefiting from cover may make a Difficult Legs check to remove the cover status (this represents finding an angle of attack from which the cover is irrelevant).
====Grids / Hex Maps====
From time to time, the GM may find it convenient to use a map to present the details of how various terrain features and characters are positioned during a tactical situation. In this case, assume that each square or hex is one yard or meter, and that each bimbo may move four squares or hexes plus her Legs stat as part of a normal Medium Legs check. Moving half that distance is an Easy Legs check. Moving twice that distance is a Difficult Legs check. All counting of movement must be performed by the GM, as counting is math, and math is hard for bimbos.
If everybody at the table agrees to a given move action, any character may move anywhere on the map. Die rolls and counting should be resorted to only when there is an objection.
==Equipment==
==Equipment==
===Low Tier Equipment Generation Tables===
Shopping is extremely important in Bimbo culture, and keeping a continuously-updated wardrobe is a high priority.
To generate equipment using these tables, start with the sentence at the top and roll d6s to fill in the brackets. These tables are an optional tool for the DM.
====Shoes====
This is a pair of [shoe size] [base material] [base shoes]. They are [heel type] [decoration type].
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Shoe Size'''
|1: ||ankle high
|-
|2: ||mid calf
|-
|3: ||below the knee
|-
|4: ||knee high
|-
|5: ||above the knee
|-
|6: ||thigh high
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Base Materials'''
|1: ||iron
|-
|2: ||steel
|-
|3: ||chrome
|-
|4: ||brass
|-
|5: ||black leather
|-
|6: ||brown leather
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Base Shoes'''
|1-2:||[shoe size] sandals 1-2
|-
|3-4:||[shoe size] boots 3-4
|-
|5-6:||pumps 5-6
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Heel Type'''
|1: ||flats (-2 Titties, +1 Legs)
|-
|2: ||short wedges (-1 Titties, -1 Slap, +1 Uhm)
|-
|3: ||high wedges (-2 Slap, +1 Titties)
|-
|4: ||stilettos (rolls to engage the enemy in melee increase in difficulty by 1, -1 Legs, +2 damage to prone targets)
|-
|5: ||platforms (rolls to engage the enemy in melee increase in difficulty by 1, -1 Legs, +1 Slap)
|-
|6: ||stilettos, with platformed toes (rolls to engage the enemy in melee increase in difficulty by 1, -1 Legs, +1 Titties)
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
|+'''Decoration Type'''
|1: ||studded with [decoration material]
|-
|2: ||lined with [lining type]
|-
|3: ||encircled by bands of [base materials]
|-
|4: ||menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|-
|5: ||decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|-
|6: ||decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
Magic, as performed by player characters, takes the form of Tittiemancy. Characters with a high Uhm score know more spells. Characters with a high Tits score are better at using those spells and have more mana. Tittiemancy is available as an advanced ability. Additional advanced abilities can make more mana or spells available.
This is a [weapon material][base weapon][decoration type]. The grip is made of [lining type].
==Assumed Setting Information==
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
Braindead Bimbo Barbarians assumes that all player characters are attractive young women in skimpy clothing that go around adventuring for some reason or other, often involving getting into fights with enemies that would just as soon kill, kidnap, enslave, and/or ravage them (any or all of the above, not necessarily in that order). Adventures do not happen in a vacuum, so there must be a setting for these adventures to happen in and challenges for the bimbos to overcome.
|+'''Weapon material:'''
|1-2: ||iron
|-
|3-4: ||steel
|-
|5-6: ||bronze
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
The following is one take on a setting appropriate for a BBB game:
Once this was a verdant, fertile, prosperous land. The menfolk toiled in the fields and protected the towns, and the world was as it should be. Then the man-kings rose to power. Using forbidden technology and foul magics, the man-kings leeched the very manliness from the air, water, and soil around them, gathering its power and hoarding it for themselves. The women-folk looked on in horror as their husbands, fathers, and sons withered before their very eyes, their masculine stubble thinning out to peach fuzz, their muscles shrinking away to near-usefulness, their vitality and enthusiasm in the bedroom almost completely sapped. The man-kings captured and enslaved thousands of subjects to toil in their factories. They castrated hundreds and pressed them into service as eunuch-soldiers for their incessant wars against each other. They thundered across the wastelands in their Ford F-150s and Dodge Rams with the KC lights and lifted suspension kits bringing down wild game with guns and spear and their own bare hands.
Grimdark cities surrounded by parched, craggy badlands belch black smoke into the sky. Storm-ravaged seas crash dark waves against rocky shores. Foreboding mountains quake with volcanic eruptions and landslides. Bones and broken weapons litter battlefields ancient and new along the borders between the realms of the individual man-kings. Dragons wheel in the sky, vomiting flame and lightning at each other, sometimes at the man-kings' behest, sometimes as wild predators. In the realms of the man-kings this is an era of gasoline, magic, and heavy metal. In the wilds, it is a primitive struggle for survival, as man-kings greedily keep their secrets of automotive repair, barbecue cuisine, and other manly arts hidden away.
|+'''Decoration Type'''
|1: ||studded with [decoration material]
|-
|2: ||lined with [lining type]
|-
|3: ||encircled by bands of [base materials]
|-
|4: ||menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|-
|5: ||decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|-
|6: ||decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|}
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
Humanity is now a shadow of what it once was. Continuous war, a ravaged environment, and premature ejaculation have taken their toll on the population. Only one child in ten is a boy now, and only one in ten of them survives to a effeminate adulthood without falling prey to sickness or being press-ganged into a man-kings' legions. In the man-kings' territories, women perform nearly all the labor, toiling in the hot sun or sweatshops. The fairest are taken away to serve in the pleasure palaces and temples. But not all people live under the man-kings' thumbs. In the icy mountains and deep jungles, small bands of free women live simple but desperate existences. These women rely on hunter-warrior women to bring food to their tables and fend off ravenous dinosaurs, great apes, and slavers.
Dark Moon, as a setting, provides a handful of character background archetypes for players to work with, a some stock antagonist types for the GM, and a veneer of an explanation as to why bimbos in bikinis might be running around with axes and swords killing stuff. About as skimpy an explanation as one of the heroines' miniskirt, but we aren't aiming for verisimilitude here. Verisimilitude is way too big a word to be involved.
This is a [base weapon], [decoration type].
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="3px"
Reference Material worth looking into
|+'''Base Weapon'''
* The Dark Sun D&D campaign setting
|1-2: ||[Dagger Type] dagger (easy (1) save, difficult (3) when flanking, can be thrown without penalty)
* The movie Heavy Metal
|-
* Every Iron Maiden album ever
|3-4: ||[Whip Type] whip (easy (1) save, reach, can trip, grab, and disarm without penalty)
note: On February 15, 2013 BBB was launched as a Kickstarter Campaign to raise $2500. Funds will go towards printing & shipping physical copies of the game to backers and paying the artists responsible for the delicious cheesecake therein. Project details at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/burrowowl/busty-barbarian-bimbos/
Originally known as "Braindead Bimbo Barbarians," Busty Barbarian Bimbos is a lighthearted fantasy roleplaying game of swords & sluttery for people who don't take themselves too seriously. Players take on the role of the ridiculously under-dressed women featured on the covers and interior art of fantasy and sci-fi books. The rules and setting are rigged to provide such characters with opportunities to succeed and excel.
Originated on the /tg/ board of 4chan, the project was picked up for further development, playtesting, and proper publishing by Burrowing Owl Publications. It exceeded its goal by over $10,000(!!!), and the rewards were delivered by mid-2014. Rules are now available for purchase on Amazon and BoardGameGeek. A /tg/ success story indeed!
Slap: is a Bimbo's physical strength and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics. Legs: is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc. Uhm: is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic. Tits: is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.
These stats have a minimum of 2 and a maximum of 5. When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stats. Always roll three 6-sided dice.
For an easy check one success is needed.
For a normal check two successes are needed.
For a hard check, all dice shown must be successes. Deception only counts doesn't add up
Rolling two or more ones results in a critical success, while rolling two or more sixes results in a fumble (critical failure).
At the GM's discretion, a player may "raise" to increase the difficulty of a roll in exchange for a better result. This effectively turns a success into a critical success.
Math is like, hard n' stuff. The SLUT engine is as math-lite as possible to accommodate in-character play and because it's funny in the context of the premise.you only get what you see
There are three character-creation options. Generate your stats with three dice and a small amount of math, generate your stats and assign abilities collaboratively, and generate your stats with three die rolls and a couple tables. Once your four stats are determined, assign two Basic Abilities and one Advanced Ability. Figure out a number of mechanically-irrelevant facts about your Bimbo (dress size, favorite coffee drink order, astrological sign, etc), and you're off to the races.
NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (5)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and hoard treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs may have special abilities as well.
For any rule that describes the use of a specific bimbo stat (Slap, Legs, Uhm, or Tits), the NPC's single stat may be substituted at the GM's discretion.
To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check.
No hit points. Target an opponent's stat of your choice (NPCs only have one stat). On a hit, that stat is not available for one round. It is disabled and vulnerable. After the target's turn, it is no longer disabled but still vulnerable. When the target's turn comes up a second time, it is no longer vulnerable either. If a stat is hit again while it is vulnerable, the target has been incapacitated and may not participate in the scene any more.
A Bimbo may risk an article of clothing (a top, bottom, or footwear) to avoid a hit. NPCs have plot armor, which doesn't work as efficiently, tilting things in the players' favor.
Outside of combat, movement happens at GM discretion. Generally speaking, you cannot expect a bimbo in high heels to walk for more than an hour or two at a time; those things are uncomfortable.don't think about that
Characters in combat are either engaged in melee with another character or not; let's not spend a lot of time tracking distances and stuff. That's complicated. Characters can be engaged at normal range or skin-to-skin.
Magic, as performed by player characters, takes the form of Tittiemancy. Characters with a high Uhm score know more spells. Characters with a high Tits score are better at using those spells and have more mana. Tittiemancy is available as an advanced ability. Additional advanced abilities can make more mana or spells available.
Braindead Bimbo Barbarians assumes that all player characters are attractive young women in skimpy clothing that go around adventuring for some reason or other, often involving getting into fights with enemies that would just as soon kill, kidnap, enslave, and/or ravage them (any or all of the above, not necessarily in that order). Adventures do not happen in a vacuum, so there must be a setting for these adventures to happen in and challenges for the bimbos to overcome.
The following is one take on a setting appropriate for a BBB game:
Once this was a verdant, fertile, prosperous land. The menfolk toiled in the fields and protected the towns, and the world was as it should be. Then the man-kings rose to power. Using forbidden technology and foul magics, the man-kings leeched the very manliness from the air, water, and soil around them, gathering its power and hoarding it for themselves. The women-folk looked on in horror as their husbands, fathers, and sons withered before their very eyes, their masculine stubble thinning out to peach fuzz, their muscles shrinking away to near-usefulness, their vitality and enthusiasm in the bedroom almost completely sapped. The man-kings captured and enslaved thousands of subjects to toil in their factories. They castrated hundreds and pressed them into service as eunuch-soldiers for their incessant wars against each other. They thundered across the wastelands in their Ford F-150s and Dodge Rams with the KC lights and lifted suspension kits bringing down wild game with guns and spear and their own bare hands.
Grimdark cities surrounded by parched, craggy badlands belch black smoke into the sky. Storm-ravaged seas crash dark waves against rocky shores. Foreboding mountains quake with volcanic eruptions and landslides. Bones and broken weapons litter battlefields ancient and new along the borders between the realms of the individual man-kings. Dragons wheel in the sky, vomiting flame and lightning at each other, sometimes at the man-kings' behest, sometimes as wild predators. In the realms of the man-kings this is an era of gasoline, magic, and heavy metal. In the wilds, it is a primitive struggle for survival, as man-kings greedily keep their secrets of automotive repair, barbecue cuisine, and other manly arts hidden away.
Humanity is now a shadow of what it once was. Continuous war, a ravaged environment, and premature ejaculation have taken their toll on the population. Only one child in ten is a boy now, and only one in ten of them survives to a effeminate adulthood without falling prey to sickness or being press-ganged into a man-kings' legions. In the man-kings' territories, women perform nearly all the labor, toiling in the hot sun or sweatshops. The fairest are taken away to serve in the pleasure palaces and temples. But not all people live under the man-kings' thumbs. In the icy mountains and deep jungles, small bands of free women live simple but desperate existences. These women rely on hunter-warrior women to bring food to their tables and fend off ravenous dinosaurs, great apes, and slavers.
Dark Moon, as a setting, provides a handful of character background archetypes for players to work with, a some stock antagonist types for the GM, and a veneer of an explanation as to why bimbos in bikinis might be running around with axes and swords killing stuff. About as skimpy an explanation as one of the heroines' miniskirt, but we aren't aiming for verisimilitude here. Verisimilitude is way too big a word to be involved.
