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[[File:Azhag the Slaughterer.png|400px|thumb|right|Two minds aren't always better then one]] | |||
'''Azhag the Slaughterer''' is one of the most famous [[Orc]] [[Warboss|Warbosses]] in the history of [[Warhammer Fantasy]], as he lead his massive [[WAAAGH]]! of [[Orcs & Goblins]] to nearly defeat the [[The_Empire_(Warhammer_Fantasy)|Empire]], thanks to the wisdom and sorcerous might he gained due to wearing the haunted crown of [[Nagash]]. | |||
'''Azhag the Slaughterer''' | ==Finding the Crown== | ||
'''Azhag the Slaughterer''' got this freaky piece of jewellery in his college years as a minor Warboss in Troll Country where, after having his ass handed to him by a band of Chaos Warriors, he and his mob ran away into the ruins of Todtheim where they end up fighting a big-ass multi-headed troll. During the fight, a mysterious voice started giving Azhag tips on how to beat the troll. After he won the fight, he followed the voice to the troll's little treasure stash and found a fancy little crown. Which Azhag, in all of his orcish wisdom, put on his head. | |||
Now this wasn't any little crown, but the crown of [[Nagash]] himself; yes, the Bone Daddy bastard who created necromancy and destroyed Nehekhara. | |||
Now, rather than most living being where, upon having a voice suddenly appear in your head saying "Hey bro! Want some help getting out of these ruins", they would throw said crown as far away as possible, all the time going "nope nope nope nope nope nuh-uh" Azhag just thought, "Sweet! Now there are two voices in my head!" and, following the Crown's directions, promptly waddled his demented green ass out of there. | Now, rather than most living being where, upon having a voice suddenly appear in your head saying "Hey bro! Want some help getting out of these ruins", they would throw said crown as far away as possible, all the time going "nope nope nope nope nope nuh-uh" Azhag just thought, "Sweet! Now there are two voices in my head!" and, following the Crown's directions, promptly waddled his demented green ass out of there. Imagine the movie Venom but with the symbiote screaming "No, DON'T bite this dude's face off!" at green Tom Hardy. | ||
Now the crown wanted to be reunited with Nagash, and to this end it tried to control Azhag completely. But though Azhag was simple-minded, he was strong-willed - and wasn't undead - so the crown couldn't control him completely. As a result, the crown decided teamwork was the best option. | |||
==The Slaughterer== | |||
From a time, Azhag continued to build up his warband, due to the general cracking heads and kicking ass tried and tested method used by all orcs. And so Azhag would have lived, WAAAAGHED and died happy and green. But then the totally-not-evil crown started going "Hey, have thought of using 'tactics'?" and, after explaining that they were not delightful little minty sweets, started to educate Azhag that running screaming headfirst at the enemy was not a great idea. And by "educate" we mean the crown proved Orcs are somewhat susceptible to ECT. | |||
And so, with battle tactics above that of a 5-year-old and magical powers on behalf of Totally-not-[[Nagash]]-crown Azhag continued to kurb-stomp the entirety of the orc world, recruiting more orcs to his warband, to the point where he garnered so much respect that, from Red-eye night goblins, Azhag was given a [[Wyvern|MASSIVE WYVERN]], which might have been a trap. You see, standard procedure for Orcs getting a wyvern mount is to steal an egg or a hatchling and train them young, because even "tamed" adult Wyverns will spend half their time trying to eat or throw off the Warboss riding them, so imagine how much less cooperative wild ones are. | |||
But to the surprise of every orc and Goblin, Azhag walked up this this massive lizard, looked it dead in the eyes and (with a little help of not-[[Nagash]]-crown), cowed it into submission. He immediately hopped onto its back with the Wyvern suddenly as submissive and tame as a faithful pet, becoming known as "Skullmuncha". | |||
Unfortunately Azhag's demented jewelry also ended up being his downfall as, despite having a tactical genius as a shiny headband, Azhag was still an | == Waaagh! Azhag == | ||
Eventually (whether this was the decision of Azhag or the Crown) Azhag decided to follow the paths of his ancestors and shouted to his massive Waaagh <span style='color:green'>'''''"OI BOYZ! OI RECKONS WE SHUD GO KRUMP DESE EMPIRE GITS!"'''''</span><br>And that's what they did. | |||
Now, the Empire was used to WAAAAGHs in the past, the simple fact that Orcs had no plan past "Run screaming towards the guns Zulu style" meant that the orc hordes could be easily out-maneuvered and crushed. So imagine the Empire's surprise when on the field of battle, the Green savages instead used fairly complex strategies (courtesy of totally-not-Nagash-Crown) to utterly decimate the Empire's armies. The crown also gave Azhag a fraction of Nagash's magical ability, which he used in battle, and though his fellow Greenskins disapproved of his "Un-Orcy" magic, they enjoyed the results. | |||
Unfortunately, Azhag's demented jewelry also ended up being his downfall as, despite having a tactical genius as a shiny headband, Azhag was still an orc and so often wanted to just "WAAAAGH WIV DA BOYZ" often to the dismay of the Crown, and the Crown wanted to get back to [[Nagash|the skull it was made to sit on]], so tried to goad Azhag to lead his WAAAGH! towards Nehekhara with mixed results. Still, nothing that a good bit of electric shocks can't do! | |||
So the boyz were often confused at Azhag gurning to fight off the Crown's mental attacks, channeling Dril: [https://twitter.com/dril/status/247222360309121024 Who the fuck is scraeming "USE YOUR BRAIN" inside my head. show yourself, coward. i will never use my brain]. One minute he'd speak with a dry, unnatural voice, the next he'd be back to a proper Orcish growl. | |||
Unfortunately for Azhag, the Crown was like a cat waiting for you to leave your WiP miniatures unattended so it can swipe them off the table. And so, whilst in a particular scrap at the '''Battle of Ostland''', Azhag flew Skullmuncha into the middle of the fight to go krump some of the Knights Panther. The crown was tired of Azhag mucking around with Empire armies, so launched a complex mental battle with Azhag to control him while he was fighting with fully trained knights. Azhag resisted, but the fight left him dazed. As you may expect, the grandmaster of the Knights Panther took advantage of the orc warboss having a mental breakdown in the middle of a battle and quickly cut him down - the other knights lancing Skullmuncha to death for good measure, causing Azhag's waaagh to route from fear and lack of leadership. | |||
== Legacy == | |||
The Grandmaster took the crown as a trophy and showed it to the Grand Theogonist. Recognizing an evil magical artifact when he saw it, he demanded that the grandmaster of the Knights Panther hand it over. Despite thinking it would have made a pretty cool trophy, the grandmaster knew better and handed the crown over to the Grand Theogonist who promptly threw the Crown into the deepest vault in the Temple of Sigmar, where it waits to this day, twiddling its non-existent thumbs waiting for papa-[[Nagash]] to save it or just have some moron go "Ooh Shiny!" | |||
In the introduction to Sigmar's blood, [[Mannfred von Carstein]] distracts the Empire special characters by throwing a witch hunter through the window while 3 vargheists break into the vaults and steal the crown. Most secure place in the empire is susceptible to a unit worth less than 150 points. | |||
Yeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, the crown did go back to Bone Daddy (the necromancer, not our lord and saviour) and it's staying there for the long run. Even in AoS, Nagash still harbors a strong dislike of greenskins so perhaps he thinks of Azhag like his least favourite ex. | |||
[[Category: Warhammer Fantasy]] | |||
[[Category: Orcs & Goblins]] | [[Category: Orcs & Goblins]] | ||
{{Orc-Gitz}} |
Latest revision as of 16:35, 17 June 2023
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Azhag the Slaughterer is one of the most famous Orc Warbosses in the history of Warhammer Fantasy, as he lead his massive WAAAGH! of Orcs & Goblins to nearly defeat the Empire, thanks to the wisdom and sorcerous might he gained due to wearing the haunted crown of Nagash.
Finding the Crown[edit]
Azhag the Slaughterer got this freaky piece of jewellery in his college years as a minor Warboss in Troll Country where, after having his ass handed to him by a band of Chaos Warriors, he and his mob ran away into the ruins of Todtheim where they end up fighting a big-ass multi-headed troll. During the fight, a mysterious voice started giving Azhag tips on how to beat the troll. After he won the fight, he followed the voice to the troll's little treasure stash and found a fancy little crown. Which Azhag, in all of his orcish wisdom, put on his head.
Now this wasn't any little crown, but the crown of Nagash himself; yes, the Bone Daddy bastard who created necromancy and destroyed Nehekhara.
Now, rather than most living being where, upon having a voice suddenly appear in your head saying "Hey bro! Want some help getting out of these ruins", they would throw said crown as far away as possible, all the time going "nope nope nope nope nope nuh-uh" Azhag just thought, "Sweet! Now there are two voices in my head!" and, following the Crown's directions, promptly waddled his demented green ass out of there. Imagine the movie Venom but with the symbiote screaming "No, DON'T bite this dude's face off!" at green Tom Hardy.
Now the crown wanted to be reunited with Nagash, and to this end it tried to control Azhag completely. But though Azhag was simple-minded, he was strong-willed - and wasn't undead - so the crown couldn't control him completely. As a result, the crown decided teamwork was the best option.
The Slaughterer[edit]
From a time, Azhag continued to build up his warband, due to the general cracking heads and kicking ass tried and tested method used by all orcs. And so Azhag would have lived, WAAAAGHED and died happy and green. But then the totally-not-evil crown started going "Hey, have thought of using 'tactics'?" and, after explaining that they were not delightful little minty sweets, started to educate Azhag that running screaming headfirst at the enemy was not a great idea. And by "educate" we mean the crown proved Orcs are somewhat susceptible to ECT.
And so, with battle tactics above that of a 5-year-old and magical powers on behalf of Totally-not-Nagash-crown Azhag continued to kurb-stomp the entirety of the orc world, recruiting more orcs to his warband, to the point where he garnered so much respect that, from Red-eye night goblins, Azhag was given a MASSIVE WYVERN, which might have been a trap. You see, standard procedure for Orcs getting a wyvern mount is to steal an egg or a hatchling and train them young, because even "tamed" adult Wyverns will spend half their time trying to eat or throw off the Warboss riding them, so imagine how much less cooperative wild ones are.
But to the surprise of every orc and Goblin, Azhag walked up this this massive lizard, looked it dead in the eyes and (with a little help of not-Nagash-crown), cowed it into submission. He immediately hopped onto its back with the Wyvern suddenly as submissive and tame as a faithful pet, becoming known as "Skullmuncha".
Waaagh! Azhag[edit]
Eventually (whether this was the decision of Azhag or the Crown) Azhag decided to follow the paths of his ancestors and shouted to his massive Waaagh "OI BOYZ! OI RECKONS WE SHUD GO KRUMP DESE EMPIRE GITS!"
And that's what they did.
Now, the Empire was used to WAAAAGHs in the past, the simple fact that Orcs had no plan past "Run screaming towards the guns Zulu style" meant that the orc hordes could be easily out-maneuvered and crushed. So imagine the Empire's surprise when on the field of battle, the Green savages instead used fairly complex strategies (courtesy of totally-not-Nagash-Crown) to utterly decimate the Empire's armies. The crown also gave Azhag a fraction of Nagash's magical ability, which he used in battle, and though his fellow Greenskins disapproved of his "Un-Orcy" magic, they enjoyed the results.
Unfortunately, Azhag's demented jewelry also ended up being his downfall as, despite having a tactical genius as a shiny headband, Azhag was still an orc and so often wanted to just "WAAAAGH WIV DA BOYZ" often to the dismay of the Crown, and the Crown wanted to get back to the skull it was made to sit on, so tried to goad Azhag to lead his WAAAGH! towards Nehekhara with mixed results. Still, nothing that a good bit of electric shocks can't do!
So the boyz were often confused at Azhag gurning to fight off the Crown's mental attacks, channeling Dril: Who the fuck is scraeming "USE YOUR BRAIN" inside my head. show yourself, coward. i will never use my brain. One minute he'd speak with a dry, unnatural voice, the next he'd be back to a proper Orcish growl.
Unfortunately for Azhag, the Crown was like a cat waiting for you to leave your WiP miniatures unattended so it can swipe them off the table. And so, whilst in a particular scrap at the Battle of Ostland, Azhag flew Skullmuncha into the middle of the fight to go krump some of the Knights Panther. The crown was tired of Azhag mucking around with Empire armies, so launched a complex mental battle with Azhag to control him while he was fighting with fully trained knights. Azhag resisted, but the fight left him dazed. As you may expect, the grandmaster of the Knights Panther took advantage of the orc warboss having a mental breakdown in the middle of a battle and quickly cut him down - the other knights lancing Skullmuncha to death for good measure, causing Azhag's waaagh to route from fear and lack of leadership.
Legacy[edit]
The Grandmaster took the crown as a trophy and showed it to the Grand Theogonist. Recognizing an evil magical artifact when he saw it, he demanded that the grandmaster of the Knights Panther hand it over. Despite thinking it would have made a pretty cool trophy, the grandmaster knew better and handed the crown over to the Grand Theogonist who promptly threw the Crown into the deepest vault in the Temple of Sigmar, where it waits to this day, twiddling its non-existent thumbs waiting for papa-Nagash to save it or just have some moron go "Ooh Shiny!"
In the introduction to Sigmar's blood, Mannfred von Carstein distracts the Empire special characters by throwing a witch hunter through the window while 3 vargheists break into the vaults and steal the crown. Most secure place in the empire is susceptible to a unit worth less than 150 points.
Yeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, the crown did go back to Bone Daddy (the necromancer, not our lord and saviour) and it's staying there for the long run. Even in AoS, Nagash still harbors a strong dislike of greenskins so perhaps he thinks of Azhag like his least favourite ex.
Orcs & Goblins Gitz and Bosses | ||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Orcs: | Azhag the Slaughterer - Gorbad Ironclaw - Gorfang Rotgut - Grimgor Ironhide - Grumlok and Gazbag - Wurrzag | |||||||
Goblins: | Grom the Paunch - Skarsnik - Snagla Grobspit - Black Gobbo |