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'''THE GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific VINESAUCE-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with JOEL).
{{Promotions}}
{{Cleanup}}
[[File:Nymphology cover.jpg|right|300px]]
Despite being a semi-perverse ERPG d20 sourcebook that should never be played by anyone, it is pretty funny.  


They operated out of the SilvaGunner YouTube channel until it was terminated in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before returning to SilvaGunner in June of 2018.
== New Spells ==
'''Baykdoyre’s Ultimate Lubrication''' - Makes ogre/halfling crossbreeding a reality.  


== CHANNELS ==
'''Alter Breasts''' - Anything from A to double D, on any gender. Could be used as a decent source of income.
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.


== EVENTS ==
'''Change Orientation''' - A spell feared by macho barbarians and fighters alike.
The VINESAUCE MEME events that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong YTP scene.  These events would involve VINESAUCE-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


In later years, an event known as GRAND FEST was hosting PREMIERES for GRAND DAD Fantasy, KING FOR ANOTHER DAY, GRANDmachine, HE THICC 69, and MEME Wars, as of 2019.
'''Clothes to chocolate, cream, or oil''' - For some reason the Farmers' Union hates people using this spell.


== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES ==
'''Dirk's Impressive Tool''' - Illusion that makes his secondary weapon seem "enormous" and "beautiful". Can encourage people to tell their friends about it. Requires a sausage for use.
Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition. Note that The GRAND DAD EMPIRE seem to have been most active between 2012 and 2019.


* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
'''Hypnotic Rump''' - "Renders the caster's buttocks fascinating beyond belief".
* GRAND DAD 3: THE GAUNTLET OF ASS (FEATURING SMOL NOZOMI, TITO DICKMAN, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SANS UNDERTALE)
* GRAND DAD 4: GRAND DAD IS GOD
* GRAND DAD 5: DEATH TO 1D4CHAN


GRAND DAD IS LOVE
'''Locate Clitoris''' - Nothing funny, potentially useful.
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER


[[Category: Meme]][[Category: GRAND DAD]][[Category: GRAND DAD Fantasy]]
'''Morning Wood''' - Save it for when it comes in handy, or maybe just for when it comes in hand.
 
'''Onestrum’s Personal Fluidic Enhancer''' - "Spooge production that would make a titan proud".
 
'''Night Visitor''' - Target gets a visit in the night. They won't get any benefits from sleeping. Requires a feather and a piece of cheese, for some reason.
 
'''Prismatic Chastity Belt''' - Any would-be assailant of the nether planes suffers fire, acid, lightning, poison damage, is turned to stone and teleported to another plane.
 
'''Protection from Mingers''' - Makes it impossible for ugly people to come near you.
 
'''Ray of Nipple Hardening'''- Gee, I wonder what this does?
 
'''Vinegar Stokes''' - Gives the target the sensation of being stuck edging right before orgasm, they can defend but not move or cast spells. A good way to escape.
'''Summon Sex Partner''' - Force the summoned creature to service you. There's a warning about meeting said creature outside of the spell. Given that it's practically [[FATAL|a rape spell]], it should be obvious as to why this is.
 
'''Power Word: Orgasm''' - No save. Stuns the creature somewhere between 1d6 to 3d6 depending on Constitution. A good, non-lethal (if a bit messy) way to escape from battle.
 
== Modified Skills ==
'''Alchemy''': Orcish fly, Lubricant jelly, delouser and hot flush.
 
'''Concentration''': Added rules for casting spells while doing it, and holding off orgasm via Concentration. Fighting naked Amazons is now the bane of wizard concentration checks.
 
'''Perform''': Can give bonuses to oral and pole dancing.
 
== New Prestige Classes ==
'''Agony Mage''': A mage that is good at guessing what you like, and has the power to give it to you. They also have a funny feat called "blameless". This makes the guards search for other suspects even if you are caught performing the crime.
 
'''Mystic Pimp''': A summoner of adult-rated partners.  Streetwise has a feat that tells him your orientation and fetishes and can gain permanent summons.
 
'''Seducer''': A person that can seduce anyone that is physically capable or not dead. Even a [[Tarrasque]].
 
'''Peeping Scryer''': He peeps. That's it. He also has a feat called "Never forget an Arse" that lets him identify his peeping victims. Requires level 21st whorcery.
 
== New Items ==
'''Pop-up Pork-Sword''': A club with a catch on the handle. Hitting it makes a 12-inch section spring out that wobbles back and forth. Acts as a +1 weapon but anything that is touched by the sword is affected by Power Word: Orgasm.
 
'''Cock Rings''': Includes Rings of Quantity, Girth, and Penetration. Not intended for digital use.
 
'''Bag of Fondling''': Put something inside the bag and the bag will massage it.
 
'''Carved Monkey of Spanking''': A statue that comes to life. Spanking it renders the user immune to sex effects for 24 hours.
 
'''Magic Chastity Belt''': A variety of shapes and sizes, from basic arcane locks to casting Burning Hands and summoning a guardian.
 
'''Dan's Instant Whorehouse''': A small cube that becomes a 40ft square, 10-foot high wooden whorehouse with an ogre bouncer and 2-8 hosts/hostesses of the owner's preference. It's described that people are damaged if caught in the expanding house, adding to its practical uses.
 
'''Jockstrap of Impressive Lunchbox''': A jockstrap that probes the mind of nearby females, forming the size that is most appealing to them. Remove when in proximity to pixies and other small creatures.
 
'''Sexy Sheets''': The users appear sexier. They are also self-cleaning.
 
== New creatures ==
'''Colossal Gay Al''': A giant allosaur, brightly colored, has a good singing voice and drinks enormous cocktails. Also an obvious South Park reference.
 
'''Creamy Ooze''': An ooze made out of exactly what you'd imagine.
 
'''One-Eyed Trouser Snake''': To quote the book: "Many people strive to collect the largest and most magnificent trouser snake they can."
 
'''Siren Flower''': Lures you in by looking like a naked woman, then shoves a seedpod up your ass.
 
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]][[Category:Game Books]]

Latest revision as of 08:56, 22 June 2023

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.
This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.

>

Despite being a semi-perverse ERPG d20 sourcebook that should never be played by anyone, it is pretty funny.

New Spells[edit]

Baykdoyre’s Ultimate Lubrication - Makes ogre/halfling crossbreeding a reality.

Alter Breasts - Anything from A to double D, on any gender. Could be used as a decent source of income.

Change Orientation - A spell feared by macho barbarians and fighters alike.

Clothes to chocolate, cream, or oil - For some reason the Farmers' Union hates people using this spell.

Dirk's Impressive Tool - Illusion that makes his secondary weapon seem "enormous" and "beautiful". Can encourage people to tell their friends about it. Requires a sausage for use.

Hypnotic Rump - "Renders the caster's buttocks fascinating beyond belief".

Locate Clitoris - Nothing funny, potentially useful.

Morning Wood - Save it for when it comes in handy, or maybe just for when it comes in hand.

Onestrum’s Personal Fluidic Enhancer - "Spooge production that would make a titan proud".

Night Visitor - Target gets a visit in the night. They won't get any benefits from sleeping. Requires a feather and a piece of cheese, for some reason.

Prismatic Chastity Belt - Any would-be assailant of the nether planes suffers fire, acid, lightning, poison damage, is turned to stone and teleported to another plane.

Protection from Mingers - Makes it impossible for ugly people to come near you.

Ray of Nipple Hardening- Gee, I wonder what this does?

Vinegar Stokes - Gives the target the sensation of being stuck edging right before orgasm, they can defend but not move or cast spells. A good way to escape.

Summon Sex Partner - Force the summoned creature to service you. There's a warning about meeting said creature outside of the spell. Given that it's practically a rape spell, it should be obvious as to why this is.

Power Word: Orgasm - No save. Stuns the creature somewhere between 1d6 to 3d6 depending on Constitution. A good, non-lethal (if a bit messy) way to escape from battle.

Modified Skills[edit]

Alchemy: Orcish fly, Lubricant jelly, delouser and hot flush.

Concentration: Added rules for casting spells while doing it, and holding off orgasm via Concentration. Fighting naked Amazons is now the bane of wizard concentration checks.

Perform: Can give bonuses to oral and pole dancing.

New Prestige Classes[edit]

Agony Mage: A mage that is good at guessing what you like, and has the power to give it to you. They also have a funny feat called "blameless". This makes the guards search for other suspects even if you are caught performing the crime.

Mystic Pimp: A summoner of adult-rated partners. Streetwise has a feat that tells him your orientation and fetishes and can gain permanent summons.

Seducer: A person that can seduce anyone that is physically capable or not dead. Even a Tarrasque.

Peeping Scryer: He peeps. That's it. He also has a feat called "Never forget an Arse" that lets him identify his peeping victims. Requires level 21st whorcery.

New Items[edit]

Pop-up Pork-Sword: A club with a catch on the handle. Hitting it makes a 12-inch section spring out that wobbles back and forth. Acts as a +1 weapon but anything that is touched by the sword is affected by Power Word: Orgasm.

Cock Rings: Includes Rings of Quantity, Girth, and Penetration. Not intended for digital use.

Bag of Fondling: Put something inside the bag and the bag will massage it.

Carved Monkey of Spanking: A statue that comes to life. Spanking it renders the user immune to sex effects for 24 hours.

Magic Chastity Belt: A variety of shapes and sizes, from basic arcane locks to casting Burning Hands and summoning a guardian.

Dan's Instant Whorehouse: A small cube that becomes a 40ft square, 10-foot high wooden whorehouse with an ogre bouncer and 2-8 hosts/hostesses of the owner's preference. It's described that people are damaged if caught in the expanding house, adding to its practical uses.

Jockstrap of Impressive Lunchbox: A jockstrap that probes the mind of nearby females, forming the size that is most appealing to them. Remove when in proximity to pixies and other small creatures.

Sexy Sheets: The users appear sexier. They are also self-cleaning.

New creatures[edit]

Colossal Gay Al: A giant allosaur, brightly colored, has a good singing voice and drinks enormous cocktails. Also an obvious South Park reference.

Creamy Ooze: An ooze made out of exactly what you'd imagine.

One-Eyed Trouser Snake: To quote the book: "Many people strive to collect the largest and most magnificent trouser snake they can."

Siren Flower: Lures you in by looking like a naked woman, then shoves a seedpod up your ass.