Giant Space Hamster

This article or section is about something oldschool - and awesome. Make sure your rose-tinted glasses are on nice and tight, and prepare for a lovely walk down nostalgia lane.

Giant space hamster and tender.

Giant space hamsters are a species of megafauna bred by spelljamming gnomes. As said gnomes are the notorious tinker gnomes of Krynn, you probably have figured out all the ways that this went wrong. They are normally used to power spelljammer vessels by running in giant hamster wheels, though they are also used as general beasts of burden and even steeds.

Giant space hamsters showcase the amazingly goofy nature of either Dragonlance, Spelljammer or both. They're one of the elements most spelljammer fans try to either remember or forget, depending on how they feel about the more comedic aspects of the setting.

As critters, giant space hamsters are basically hamsters... but giants! They can be found anywhere that the Tinker Gnome menace has spread to, and whilst they are usually kept in huge gnomish hamster ranches, the usual minoi competence has seen plenty of them escape into the wild. And, as giant space hamsters can produce several litters of 1d4 young a year from the age of 2 until they die of old age around 18, wild populations can potentially explode... luckily, the massive array of predators endemic to worlds in the D&D multiverse means their population is kept readily in check. Of course, it helps that they are cowardly and all but incapable of defending themselves, resorting to biting in only the most extreme circumstances, such as a female defending her litter. As a result, any medium-sized or bigger carnivore treats a giant space hamster warren as an easy dining spot.

Giant space hamsters are omnivores with a strong herbivorous bent; predominantly feeding on green vegetables, fruits, nuits, grains and water, they won't turn their noses up at a bit of meat (cooked or raw), and in fact are known to prey on various giant insects. Their own meat is edible, and if the gnomes are to be trusted, delicious. They call it "spaham" for short.

The Diffuse Family Tree

If there's one adage that rings true throughout Wildspace, it's this: "you can always trust a Tinker Gnome to fuck something up". And, sure enough, that applies to Giant Space Hamsters, too.

To start with, having successfully bred the basic hamster from the size of an overfed mouse to the size of a brown bear, some gnomish genius somewhere decided to reverse the process. And thus we ended up with the Miniature Giant Space Hamster. Now, if this was the be-all, end-all of minoi fuckery, nobody would mind, but of course they couldn't let it go at that. Thus a wide variety of horrible hamster mutants were unleashed upon the universe... and, luckily for you, because 1d4chan does what others don't, we're going to tell you about them all!

Subterranean Giant Space Hamster: This strain sports massive claws that allow it to dig through soil and even rip apart softer rocks in its drive to burrow. Aside from being capable diggers, they can actually defend themselves with vicious claw attacks.

Saber-toothed Giant Space Hamster: Whilst still omnivorous, as the name suggests, this strain has developed oversized incisors, giving it a bite to truly fear.

Rather Wild Giant Space Hamster: A perfect example of gnomish understatement, this strain is exceptionally aggressive for a giant space hamster, with a morale of 19 (compared to the 6 of a domesticated GSH and the 9 of a wild one) and a +2 bonus to its attack and damage rolls.

Invisible Giant Space Hamster: This strain can become invisible for 1d4+4 turns once per day, and remains invisible even whilst attacking.

Sylvan/Jungle Giant Space Hamster: Adapted for life in a more arboreal environment, this strain has a remarkable affinity for climbing.

Armor Plated Giant Space Hamster: Easily identified by its possessing a tough, rhino-like hide instead of fur, this strain is also very aggressive (morale 16) and should be regarded with caution.

Yellow Musk Giant Space Hamster: The bright yellow fur of this strain warns onlookers to stay away, as overactive musk glands secrete a protective cloud of noxious fumes that causes nausea, blindness and weakness in anyone who gets too close.

Ethereal Giant Space Hamster: Actually misleadingly named. This strain cannot enter the Ethereal Plane. But its flesh is permanently translucent, causing it to be mistaken for an animated giant hamster skeleton at first glance.

Carnivorous Flying Giant Space Hamster: Surprisingly quick-flyers, these predatory giant space hamsters are one of the truly dangerous strains.

Two-Headed Lernean Bombardier Giant Space Hamster: Why would you give a giant hamster two heads, the ability to regenerate damage like a troll, and the ability to unleash a stunning belch attack once per day? Answer: gnomes are idiots.

Fire-Breathing Phase Doppelganger Giant Space Hamster: If it's not bad enough that you have a giant hamster that can spit fire and shift between the Prime Material and the Ethereal Plane at will, but then you also give it the ability to shapeshift into any other "bear-sized mammal" as well as remarkably high intelligence for an animal (Int 5-7). Once again: gnomes are idiots.

Great Horned Giant Space Hamster: Equipped with a rhino-like horn, these giant space hamsters can make deadly charge attacks.

Abominable Giant Space Hamster: These white-furred giant space hamsters are adapted for life in arctic climates. They feed primarily on conifers, are immune to mundane cold, and halve magical cold damage.

Tyrannohamsterus Rex: There are some things that should bleedingly obvious. Such as, for example, taking the giant space hamster, already a neurotically timid and docile beast, and bulking it up into a 25' tall, 75 ton monster without augmenting its courage is a bad idea that should be avoided. Fucking gnomes. Still, at least the panicked rampages of the tyrannohamsterus rex annihilated the gnomish colony where it was bred, so they should be a dying race.

Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen: This final strain is a beast of legend. Indeed, stories say there is only one such brute, a creature known and feared amongst gnomekind as "Wooly Rupert". Bigger even than a Tyrannohamsterus Rex, Woolly Rupert is said to possess a genius level intellect, a mastery of arcane magic, and a burning hatred of gnomes. The stories say that he has his own spelljammer, which he uses to scour wildspace, dreaming of annihilating all minoi everywhere. If these tales are true, then Woolly Rupert is good people.

Whilst the aforementioned are the strains mechanically different enough to the standard giant space hamster to warrant discussion, the fact is that breeding new subspecies of giant space hamster is something of a fixation amongst spacefaring gnomes. Most of the time, however, all you have is a cosmetic reskin of the standard giant space hamster. Known examples of these "lesser" strains include the woolly, mottled, ochre, Oriental, Occidental, chartreuse, spotted, not-quite-so-spotted, only-a-little-spotted, plaid, cave-dwelling, three-toed, lesser, greater, greater lesser, lesser greater, albino, and flightless giant space hamsters.

In 5th Edition

Giant space hamsters return in 5th edition, reduced down solely to the giant and miniature giant varieties. Giants are said to be used as mounts and beasts of burden by gnomish communities. Miniature giants, called simply "space hamsters" here, were created by magically shrinking down the giants, imbuing them with greater mental abilities (Int 6 and Cha 6 to the giant's Int 2 and Cha 4) as well as the ability to communicate telepathically.

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  Saber-toothed, fire-breathing, miniature, and invisible variants