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'''Crystal Dragon Jesus''' is a fantasy-related [[TVTropes|trope]] that /tg/ has appropriated from its long-time nemesis. In a nutshell, it refers to fictional religions that have very strong and/or clear inspiration in the form of real world religions... namely, Christianity (and, to a much lesser extent, Islam and Judaism), since Shinto, Buddhism and Hindu religions all look very much like the mythical/pagan religions that were freely used in fantasy throughout its history. This allows the designer a way to include elements of Christianity that they like (or want to bash, it works both ways), without all the incredibly messy stuff of just porting Christianity into the setting 1-for-1.
A fantasy-related trope that [[/tg/]] appropriated from [[TVTropes|it's collective sleep paralysis demon]], '''Crystal Dragon Jesus''' is a fictional system of belief that boils down to an RL religion (usually [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abrahamic_religions Abrahamic] one) with serial numbers filed off. Overwhelming majority of them opt for aping Catholicism, with I Can't Believe It's Not Islam being the second most popular flavor.


Per TVtropes' description, common trappings of the Crystal Dragon Jesus religion are Christian-looking priestly vestments, nuns, confessionals, church design styles, and crosses. The major difference is that the central figure (or figures; there's very likely to be a Satan analogue too) is always explicitly not the Christian style God, but instead an animistic spirit or pagan-flavored god. These religions often use a very firmly ''female'' deity, due to a combination of neo-pagan influences and the obvious contrast between the fake religion and the very male-cast God of Christianity.
This is done for plethora of reasons:
 
* It creates a healthy distance from an RL religion that inspired it and it's (occasionaly [[Chick Tracts|quite rabid]] and [[Satanic Panic|willing to indulge in a bit of book burning]]) followers;
For Crystal Dragon Islam, major definitive traits unique to it tend to be militant expansionism, coming from the east, and staunch monotheism.
* It allows to take only the good ideas and leave the bad ones at the door; as an example, you'd be hard-pressed to find a fantasy setting, D&D or otherwise, that doesn't have a Deity of Light and/or Justice who's entire shtick is healing the sick, helping the downtrodden and having grand cathedrals, [[Cleric|holy men]] and [[Paladin|virtuous knightly orders]] dedicated to him ([[Sigmar|almost]] [[Pelor|always]] [[Emperor|him]] and [[Avacyn|very]] [[Ezra|occasionaly]] [[-4 Str|her]] or [[Church of the Silver Flame|it]]), but settings that actually feature abuse of power, religious persecution and televangelists are about as common as a Japanese that understands the difference between [[Adeptus Sororitas|a nun]] and [[Touhou|a miko]];
** ... or on the contrary, take only the ''bad'' ideas without the good to ramp up the [[grimdark]] and/or hammer home the point that these guys are corrupt hypocritical assholes ([[Ecclesiarchy]], [[Orzhov Syndicate]], some [[Ravenloft]] faiths);
* It skips doing actual research into history, tenets and underlying theology of the faith you're copying, which would otherwise result in blunders like aforementioned [https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NunsAreMikos Japan-endemic conflation of nuns and shrine maidens], with the most notorious nuance they tend to ignore being that nuns are supposed to be chaste and aren't allowed to be on a prowl for dick like Shinto priestesses.


==Examples==
==Examples==
{{NotFunny Sourcebook}}
* [[Ironclaw]]: The Church of S'Allumer is a Crystal Dragon Jesus-religion to the point it even has heterodoxies and heresies based on actual doctrinal disputes of historical Catholicism.
* [[Ironclaw]]: The Church of S'Allumer is a Crystal Dragon Jesus-religion to the point it even has heterodoxies and heresies based on actual doctrinal disputes of historical Catholicism.
* [[Dungeons & Dragons]]: Oh, boy... you got an hour?
* [[Dungeons & Dragons]]: Oh, boy... you got an hour?
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** [[Al-Qadim]] is ruled over by a Crystal Dragon Islam faith.
** [[Al-Qadim]] is ruled over by a Crystal Dragon Islam faith.
** [[Saint Cuthbert]] is a [[Greyhawk]] deity based on an actual Catholic saint.
** [[Saint Cuthbert]] is a [[Greyhawk]] deity based on an actual Catholic saint.
** [[Eberron]] has the [[Church of the Silver Flame]], which is strongly based on both positive and negative elements of Christanity. In fact their symbol, minus the coloring, is an old christian symbol, being described by Clement of Alexandria and other places. It also get bonus points for resembling the Coat of arms of the Church of Norway which actually is a cross holding axes.
** [[Eberron]] has the [[Church of the Silver Flame]], which is strongly based on both positive and negative elements of Christanity.
** The Church of the Triad in the [[Forgotten Realms]] is a faith that worships [[Tyr]], [[Torm]] and [[Ilmater]] simulanteously, in a way that is reminiscent of Christian doctrine of God as The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
** The Church of the Triad in the [[Forgotten Realms]] is a faith that worships [[Tyr]], [[Torm]] and [[Ilmater]] simulanteously, in a way that is reminiscent of Christian doctrine of God as The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
** [[Ravenloft]] has the faiths of [[Ezra]] (Gothic Christianity with a female God/Jesus) and [[Hala]] (neopagans/wiccans disguised as Catholic Nuns).
** [[Ravenloft]] has the faiths of [[Ezra]] (Gothic Christianity with a female God/Jesus) and [[Hala]] (neopagans/wiccans disguised as Catholic Nuns).
** [[Ptolus]] has the Church of [[Lothian]], which is quite obviously Catholicism with the serial numbers filed off. The official, if now discredited, dogma that all other gods are false ones and actually demons in disguise, the god being a mortal who became a god after death, said ascension coming as a result of death by crucifixion... the holy symbol of Lothian is basically a Celtic cross (a cross with a circle around the conflux of the arms) with a depiction of Lothian crucified on top, as is the most common depiction of a Christian cross.
** [[Brancalonia]] has the Creed of the Calender, not!Catholicism complete with veneration of saints and a powerful patriarch ruling a holy city, which is just one sect of the New Doctrine that worships the Ternal Father.
** [[Golarion]] has two major examples. [[Iomedae]], patron goddess of paladins, is more Crystal Dragon Jeanne d'Arc than Jesus, but her church has a distinct flavor of medieval Christian chivalric orders and they refer to their holy wars as crusades. There's also [[Sarenrae]] - she herself is closer to a cross between [[Pelor]] (Neutral Good deity of healing and the sun) and [[Eilistraee]] (beautiful and benevolent goddess with special interests in redemption and graceful swordplay) than she is to any real-world divinity, although she has common areas of concern with [[Apollo]] and [[Mithra]]. However the aesthetic of her faithful is solidly Crystal Angel Islam, with minarets, dervishes, calls to prayer, a Hashshashin-equivalent, and, at least for the clergy, abstention from alcohol. (Probably because her worship is most popular and influential in Golarion's equivalent of the Middle East.)
* [[Ptolus]] (technically third-party but [[Monte Cook]]'s proving-ground for much of D&D 3e) has the Church of [[Lothian]], which is quite obviously Catholicism with a touch of Marcion and the serial numbers filed off (which the Catholics say of Marcion's own reading of the Bible...). The official, if now discredited, dogma that all other gods are false ones and actually demons in disguise, the god being a mortal who became a god after death, said ascension coming as a result of death by crucifixion... the holy symbol of Lothian is basically a Celtic cross (a cross with a circle around the conflux of the arms) with a depiction of Lothian crucified on top, as is the most common depiction of a Christian cross.
* [[Warhammer 40,000]] has obvious Roman Catholic trappings to both the [[Imperial Faith]] and the [[Adeptus Mechanicus]].
* [[Arcana Unearthed|Diamond Throne]] - also Monte - has a few contenders, chiefly the Rune Messiah and then the Hanavere Trinity. These... didn't quite get the job done. But they do still have their adherents on this subcontinent.
* [[Pathfinder]]: [[Golarion]] has <strike>three</strike>two major examples. [[Iomedae]], patron goddess of paladins, is more Crystal Dragon Jeanne d'Arc than Jesus, but her church has a distinct flavor of medieval Christian chivalric orders and they refer to their holy wars as crusades. There's also [[Sarenrae]] - she herself is closer to a cross between [[Pelor]] (Neutral Good deity of healing and the sun) and [[Eilistraee]] (beautiful and benevolent goddess with special interests in redemption and graceful swordplay) than she is to any real-world divinity, although she has common areas of concern with [[Apollo]] and [[Mithra]]. However the aesthetic of her faithful is solidly Crystal Angel Islam, with minarets, dervishes, calls to prayer, a Hashshashin-equivalent, and, at least for the clergy, abstention from alcohol. (Probably because her worship is most popular and influential in Golarion's equivalent of the Middle East.)
** That third example is - no, was - [[Aroden]]. He's Jesus if he'd ''failed'' to get resurrected, a theme perhaps borrowed from the Diamond Throne noted above.
* [[Warhammer 40,000]] has obvious Catholic trappings given the Latin-Greek everywhere: [[Adeptus Mechanicus]], [[Ecclesiarchy]], all of it. Although it's arguably closer in spirit to ''Tsarist Orthodoxy'', especially in its Monothelete form under (say) Emperor Heraclius, or maybe Basil II.
** [[Greater Good]] is a rare non-Abrahamic example of Crystal Dragon Confucianism.
* In [[7th Sea]], the Vaticine Church, Objectionist, and Ussuran Orthodox Churches stand in for Roman Catholicism, Protestantism, and Russian Orthodoxy in Theah, a swashbuckling, sorcerous version of medieval Europe. The Vaticine Church also subtly incorporates a few elements of Islam as well. Avalon, the local version of England, even has its version of the Anglican church.
* In [[7th Sea]], the Vaticine Church, Objectionist, and Ussuran Orthodox Churches stand in for Roman Catholicism, Protestantism, and Russian Orthodoxy in Theah, a swashbuckling, sorcerous version of medieval Europe. The Vaticine Church also subtly incorporates a few elements of Islam as well. Avalon, the local version of England, even has its version of the Anglican church.
* [[World of Darkness]]:
* [[World of Darkness]]:
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* [[Anima|Anima: Beyond Fantasy]] has the Church of Abel, complete with a crucifixion (though this guy didn't come back), and purge (which continues to some extent) against anyone who isn't 100% human. The closer to the setting's present day one gets, the more tenuous the parallel becomes but it doesn't disappear completely.
* [[Anima|Anima: Beyond Fantasy]] has the Church of Abel, complete with a crucifixion (though this guy didn't come back), and purge (which continues to some extent) against anyone who isn't 100% human. The closer to the setting's present day one gets, the more tenuous the parallel becomes but it doesn't disappear completely.
* In [[Fading Suns]], the Universal Church of the Celestial Sun is very similar to the Roman Catholic or Orthodox Churches, in fact the Prophet Zebulon was a priest of those of those faiths, historians aren't sure which. It even has analogues of the Templars, the Inquisition, and Protestants.
* In [[Fading Suns]], the Universal Church of the Celestial Sun is very similar to the Roman Catholic or Orthodox Churches, in fact the Prophet Zebulon was a priest of those of those faiths, historians aren't sure which. It even has analogues of the Templars, the Inquisition, and Protestants.
* In the [[Iron Kingdoms]] setting, the Church of Morrow is clear analogue for Christianity, especially Catholicism: It descends from a preexisting religion via a saviour-prophet (Morrow), and still worships that religion's god (or at least claims to), has saints (Ascended), a Vatican-equivalent, an emphasis on charity and generosity, and even Western-style Warrior Monks (the Precursor Knights).
* In the [[Iron Kingdoms]] setting, the Church of [[Morrow]] is clear analogue for Christianity, especially Catholicism: It descends from a preexisting religion via a saviour-prophet (Morrow), and still worships that religion's god (or at least claims to), has saints (Ascended), a Vatican-equivalent, an emphasis on charity and generosity, and even Western-style Warrior Monks (the Precursor Knights).
* [[Magic: The Gathering]] has the Church of Serra (which worships a deified female wizard) on one [[plane]], and the Church of Avacyn (which worships a female warrior-Jesus [[angel]]) on [[Innistrad]]. Meanwhile, [[Ravnica]] is home to the [[Orzhov Syndicate]], who are basically Catholic Mafioso [[Necromancer]]s who worship greed.
* [[Magic: The Gathering]] has the Church of Serra (which worships a deified female wizard) on one [[plane]], and the Church of Avacyn (which worships a female warrior-Jesus [[angel]]) on [[Innistrad]]. Meanwhile, [[Ravnica]] is home to the [[Orzhov Syndicate]], who are basically Catholic Mafioso [[Necromancer]]s who worship greed.
* In [[GURPS]] Alchemical Baroque, The Architecturalists and the Horologicalists, the two dominant religions of the “Known Lands,” share a common (vague) root and both believe in "a single, transcendent, vaguely imagined God"; they stand in for Protestant and Catholic Christianity respectively.
* In [[GURPS]] Alchemical Baroque, The Architecturalists and the Horologicalists, the two dominant religions of the “Known Lands,” share a common (vague) root and both believe in "a single, transcendent, vaguely imagined God"; they stand in for Protestant and Catholic Christianity respectively.
** GURPS [[Banestorm]], on the other hand, completely averts this trope by straight-up teleporting Christianity and Islam to the setting of Yrth.
* [[Trudvang]] has the Tenet of Nid, a religion centered around Gave, the one true, almighty, and all-knowing god who freed the Viranns from slavery and claimed them as his favored people. Since then they've been busy spreading the faith and converting people, through bloody crusades if necessary. They even have a female devil, <s>Smaug</s> Simag.
* [[Trudvang]] has the Tenet of Nid, a religion centered around Gave, the one true, almighty, and all-knowing god who freed the Viranns from slavery and claimed them as his favored people. Since then they've been busy spreading the faith and converting people, through bloody crusades if necessary. They even have a female devil, <s>Smaug</s> Simag.
* [[Victoriana]] has these in spades, being just the Victorian Era but on a fantasy version of Earth. Aluminat is Christianity, Sons of David are Jews, Followers of the Word are Muslims, Brahmanism is Hinduism, and [[Derp|Boddhism is Buddhism]].
* [[Symbaroum]] has the Sun Church, the main church of Ambria centered around the sun god Prios, which is ruled by the Curia, and also has its inquisitor and templar orders. Notable that Prios was originally just one god out of many, but became so popular that he was declared the one true god.


==The Trope==
==The Trope==

Latest revision as of 11:31, 20 June 2023

A fantasy-related trope that /tg/ appropriated from it's collective sleep paralysis demon, Crystal Dragon Jesus is a fictional system of belief that boils down to an RL religion (usually Abrahamic one) with serial numbers filed off. Overwhelming majority of them opt for aping Catholicism, with I Can't Believe It's Not Islam being the second most popular flavor.

This is done for plethora of reasons:

  • It creates a healthy distance from an RL religion that inspired it and it's (occasionaly quite rabid and willing to indulge in a bit of book burning) followers;
  • It allows to take only the good ideas and leave the bad ones at the door; as an example, you'd be hard-pressed to find a fantasy setting, D&D or otherwise, that doesn't have a Deity of Light and/or Justice who's entire shtick is healing the sick, helping the downtrodden and having grand cathedrals, holy men and virtuous knightly orders dedicated to him (almost always him and very occasionaly her or it), but settings that actually feature abuse of power, religious persecution and televangelists are about as common as a Japanese that understands the difference between a nun and a miko;
  • It skips doing actual research into history, tenets and underlying theology of the faith you're copying, which would otherwise result in blunders like aforementioned Japan-endemic conflation of nuns and shrine maidens, with the most notorious nuance they tend to ignore being that nuns are supposed to be chaste and aren't allowed to be on a prowl for dick like Shinto priestesses.

Examples[edit]

  • Ironclaw: The Church of S'Allumer is a Crystal Dragon Jesus-religion to the point it even has heterodoxies and heresies based on actual doctrinal disputes of historical Catholicism.
  • Dungeons & Dragons: Oh, boy... you got an hour?
    • Bahamut and Pelor both have varying levels of Christianity to their basic church.
    • The entire Dragonlance pantheon is based on Mormon theology.
    • Al-Qadim is ruled over by a Crystal Dragon Islam faith.
    • Saint Cuthbert is a Greyhawk deity based on an actual Catholic saint.
    • Eberron has the Church of the Silver Flame, which is strongly based on both positive and negative elements of Christanity.
    • The Church of the Triad in the Forgotten Realms is a faith that worships Tyr, Torm and Ilmater simulanteously, in a way that is reminiscent of Christian doctrine of God as The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
    • Ravenloft has the faiths of Ezra (Gothic Christianity with a female God/Jesus) and Hala (neopagans/wiccans disguised as Catholic Nuns).
    • Brancalonia has the Creed of the Calender, not!Catholicism complete with veneration of saints and a powerful patriarch ruling a holy city, which is just one sect of the New Doctrine that worships the Ternal Father.
  • Ptolus (technically third-party but Monte Cook's proving-ground for much of D&D 3e) has the Church of Lothian, which is quite obviously Catholicism with a touch of Marcion and the serial numbers filed off (which the Catholics say of Marcion's own reading of the Bible...). The official, if now discredited, dogma that all other gods are false ones and actually demons in disguise, the god being a mortal who became a god after death, said ascension coming as a result of death by crucifixion... the holy symbol of Lothian is basically a Celtic cross (a cross with a circle around the conflux of the arms) with a depiction of Lothian crucified on top, as is the most common depiction of a Christian cross.
  • Diamond Throne - also Monte - has a few contenders, chiefly the Rune Messiah and then the Hanavere Trinity. These... didn't quite get the job done. But they do still have their adherents on this subcontinent.
  • Pathfinder: Golarion has threetwo major examples. Iomedae, patron goddess of paladins, is more Crystal Dragon Jeanne d'Arc than Jesus, but her church has a distinct flavor of medieval Christian chivalric orders and they refer to their holy wars as crusades. There's also Sarenrae - she herself is closer to a cross between Pelor (Neutral Good deity of healing and the sun) and Eilistraee (beautiful and benevolent goddess with special interests in redemption and graceful swordplay) than she is to any real-world divinity, although she has common areas of concern with Apollo and Mithra. However the aesthetic of her faithful is solidly Crystal Angel Islam, with minarets, dervishes, calls to prayer, a Hashshashin-equivalent, and, at least for the clergy, abstention from alcohol. (Probably because her worship is most popular and influential in Golarion's equivalent of the Middle East.)
    • That third example is - no, was - Aroden. He's Jesus if he'd failed to get resurrected, a theme perhaps borrowed from the Diamond Throne noted above.
  • Warhammer 40,000 has obvious Catholic trappings given the Latin-Greek everywhere: Adeptus Mechanicus, Ecclesiarchy, all of it. Although it's arguably closer in spirit to Tsarist Orthodoxy, especially in its Monothelete form under (say) Emperor Heraclius, or maybe Basil II.
    • Greater Good is a rare non-Abrahamic example of Crystal Dragon Confucianism.
  • In 7th Sea, the Vaticine Church, Objectionist, and Ussuran Orthodox Churches stand in for Roman Catholicism, Protestantism, and Russian Orthodoxy in Theah, a swashbuckling, sorcerous version of medieval Europe. The Vaticine Church also subtly incorporates a few elements of Islam as well. Avalon, the local version of England, even has its version of the Anglican church.
  • World of Darkness:
    • Vampire: The Requiem has the Lancea et Sanctum, which is literally the Abrahamic faiths reinterpreted by Vampires, and bitterly opposing the Circle of the Crone, which is vampire neo-paganism.
    • In Mage: The Awakening, the Exarch known as The Father is essentially a dark and twisted version of the Christian God, and his Ministry was founded more or less as an attempt to reconcile Christianity with the reality of the Exarchs. Likewise, the Guardians of the Veil have a Jesus-figure called the Hieromagus, the one mage who will prove immune to Paradox and lead Awakened society to enlightenment.
  • In RuneQuest, Glorantha's Rune of Death, which symbolizes the sword of Humakt, God of Death, and thusly terrifies the undead, is a cross.
  • Anima: Beyond Fantasy has the Church of Abel, complete with a crucifixion (though this guy didn't come back), and purge (which continues to some extent) against anyone who isn't 100% human. The closer to the setting's present day one gets, the more tenuous the parallel becomes but it doesn't disappear completely.
  • In Fading Suns, the Universal Church of the Celestial Sun is very similar to the Roman Catholic or Orthodox Churches, in fact the Prophet Zebulon was a priest of those of those faiths, historians aren't sure which. It even has analogues of the Templars, the Inquisition, and Protestants.
  • In the Iron Kingdoms setting, the Church of Morrow is clear analogue for Christianity, especially Catholicism: It descends from a preexisting religion via a saviour-prophet (Morrow), and still worships that religion's god (or at least claims to), has saints (Ascended), a Vatican-equivalent, an emphasis on charity and generosity, and even Western-style Warrior Monks (the Precursor Knights).
  • Magic: The Gathering has the Church of Serra (which worships a deified female wizard) on one plane, and the Church of Avacyn (which worships a female warrior-Jesus angel) on Innistrad. Meanwhile, Ravnica is home to the Orzhov Syndicate, who are basically Catholic Mafioso Necromancers who worship greed.
  • In GURPS Alchemical Baroque, The Architecturalists and the Horologicalists, the two dominant religions of the “Known Lands,” share a common (vague) root and both believe in "a single, transcendent, vaguely imagined God"; they stand in for Protestant and Catholic Christianity respectively.
    • GURPS Banestorm, on the other hand, completely averts this trope by straight-up teleporting Christianity and Islam to the setting of Yrth.
  • Trudvang has the Tenet of Nid, a religion centered around Gave, the one true, almighty, and all-knowing god who freed the Viranns from slavery and claimed them as his favored people. Since then they've been busy spreading the faith and converting people, through bloody crusades if necessary. They even have a female devil, Smaug Simag.
  • Victoriana has these in spades, being just the Victorian Era but on a fantasy version of Earth. Aluminat is Christianity, Sons of David are Jews, Followers of the Word are Muslims, Brahmanism is Hinduism, and Boddhism is Buddhism.
  • Symbaroum has the Sun Church, the main church of Ambria centered around the sun god Prios, which is ruled by the Curia, and also has its inquisitor and templar orders. Notable that Prios was originally just one god out of many, but became so popular that he was declared the one true god.

The Trope[edit]