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[[Image:Bear_lore.png|thumb|right|300px|We're not even making this shit up.]] What's that? A large, [[furry]], [[Angry Bear|aggressive]] animal has just interrupted your party? '''BEAR LORE''' TIME! The Bear Lore [[meme]] started right when the [[4th Edition Dungeons and Dragons]] core books were leaked online. After paging through them, someone found a chart for "bear lore" which had DC checks to find out '''''the most glaringly obvious things''''' about bears. Someone posted this on /tg/, and there were many [[lulz]] to be had as people continued to talk about what else there is to learn about bears, among other things. The meme originated [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1839136/ here.] == Nature Check == ''A character knows the following information with a successful Nature Check:'' *DC15: Cave bears live in caves. *DC20: Dire bears like to attack with their natural weapons. For the same DC regarding [[manticore]]s, you get to know it has 3 rows of teeth and that it can speak common and that it can be tricked easily. == Religion Check == ''Alternatively, a Religion check on bears provides the following:'' *DC15: Bears do not attend any continuous services of worship. They are ready to kill at all hours of the week. *DC20: They mysteriously vanish every winter, perhaps to give reverence to their perverse fertility goddess while gorging on the souls of men lost to famine. *DC25: Bear society has no visibly ordained clerics. *DC35: SHIT, NEVERMIND, THEY DO HAVE THOSE. RUN! == Other Lore == '''Bee Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC15: [[Bees]] generally live in hives or trees. *DC20: NO!! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!!! AAGGH!!! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! AAAGGGGHHH!!1! *DC25: I'M COVERED IN BEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!! (-10 to all seduction checks) *DC35: [[meme|It’s hip to FUCK BEES]] (+15 to all bee seduction checks) '''Fire Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC10: Fire is hot. *DC15: Fire can't go through walls, stupid. It's not a ghost. *DC20: Only YOU can prevent forest fires. *DC25: If you were smart enough not to touch fire, you'd not NEED the stop-drop-roll info, and if you touched the fire, it's too late to make that check now. Enjoy burning to death! *DC30: IT'S FUCKIN' HOT IN HERE. *DC35: [[/tv/|The fire rises.]] *DC 40: We didn't start the fire. '''Water Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC10: Pyros don't like water. *DC15: Ice water is cold. *DC20: You can drink water. *DC25: Humans might not be able to use it to breathe. '''Fuzzy Wozzie Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful [[Meme]] check. *DC15: Fuzzy Wozzie was a bear. *DC20: Fuzzy Wozzie had no hair. *DC25: Fuzzy Wozzie wasn't fuzzy was he? '''Cliff Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Geography check. *DC15: Cliffs usually live at the edge of things. *DC20: If you walk off a cliff, you will be hurt. *DC25: All of the [[Fags of 4chan#Fag|gods]] know that 4th edition sucks and urge you to jump and end it all. '''Spy Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful [[/v/]] check. *DC15: The knife in your back was placed by a Spy. *DC20: [[Meme|GENTLEMEN]]. *DC25: That's your blood on his suit. *DC35: I was a Spy all along. *DC40: He never really was on our side. *DC45: The best Spy is a dead one. *DC50: NEVERMIND, HE'S GOT A DEAD-RINGER. *DC60: I am Alpharius. '''Human Lore''' *DC10: They are squishy. *DC20: They're bastards most of the time. *DC30: HOLY SWINGING FUCK, THEY LIVE IN CITIES? *DC40: [[Orks|i bet da fuckin' 'umies did dis]] '''Heavy Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful [[/v/]] check. *DC15: Sandvich. *DC20: Heavies hate Scouts. *DC25: Heavies love Medics. *DC30: Heavy has a [[Assault Cannon|minigun]]. *DC35: Minigun kills Scouts dead. *DC40: Heavy eats Sandvich. '''Creed Lore''' Wait, there's no such lore, how did this one- [[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!]] '''Pyro Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful [[/v/]] check. *DC20: Pyros hate spies. *DC25: Pyro has a [[Flamer|flamethrower]]. *DC30: Flamethrower kills spies dead. *DC40: Pyros like Fire. Brush up on your Fire Lore. '''Dark Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC10: It's dark in here. *DC15: You may be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nigRT2KmCE| eaten by a grue.] *DC20: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM. *DC25: Shoulda brought a candle. *DC30: Dark congregates around [[grimdark|Grim]]. *DC45: [[Cthulhu|SHIIIIIT! I MUST GET OUT OF HERE!]] '''Scout Lore''' A character already knows this information because this guy can't keep his trap shut. Roll anyways *DC10: He's not even winded. *DC15: He ran fast and died a [[Macha|virgin]]. *DC20: BONK! *DC25: He's a force a' nature. *DC30: If you were from where he was from, you'd be fucking dead. *DC35: NEEDADISPENSAHHEAH!!! '''Tzeentch Lore''' A character cannot know the following information[[Just as planned|.]] *DC10: [[Tzeentch]] likes birds. *DC20: Tzeentch makes plans. *DC25: Just as planned. *DC30: Just as planned. *DC35: These dice are loaded, and will roll exactly what Tzeentch wants you to roll. *DC99: [[Just as planned]]. '''Engineer Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Science check. *DC10: [[Meme|Nope.avi]] *DC15: A Spy's sappin' his Sentry! *DC20: His Dispenser's goin' up. *DC25: Engineer is makin' bacon. *DC30: Engineer uses [[Dakka|more gun]]. *DC35: Sometimes you just need a little less gun. '''Box Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Knowledge check. *DC 10: Enemies favour metal boxes for concealment. *DC 15: Cardboard box. Equip to wear. *DC 20: Particularly foolish and cowardly enemies also like to hide IN MEHTAL BAWKSES. *DC 25: To maximize combat effectiveness, take away their metal boxes. *DC 35: SINDRIIIIIIIIII! '''Medic Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Science check. *DC10: He is ZHE ÜBERMENSCH! *DC15: Ribs don't grow back. *DC20: Can you feel zhe Schadenfreude? *DC25: He is fully charged. *DC25: OKTOBERFEEEEEEEEST!!! '''Sniper Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Precision check. *DC10: Snoipin's a good job, m8! *DC15: Hehe, Noice! *DC20: You got blood on his knife, m8... *DC25: EEEEEEH, PISS! *DC25: *Machina earbleeding sound* '''Economy Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful [[Horo|Business]] check. *DC10: The state of the economy is excellent. *DC15: There is a problem with Fannie Mae. *DC20: OMG! *DC25: You can purchase "The Republic of Iceland" on eBay for $229.99 (inc. VAT). *DC35: Economy is a planning game. [[Just as planned|And you've lost already.]] '''Plan Lore''' *DC10: Make a Plan. *DC15: Carry out Plan. *DC20: ???????????? *DC25: PROFIT! *DC99: Tzeentch made your plan, and gave it to you without you knowing about it. [[Just as planned]]. *DC100 Wait, what happened to Tzeentch's plan... [[Creed|CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!]] '''Nebbish Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful [[Neckbeard]] check. *DC20: Being unknowingly nebbish is annoying. *DC25: Being deliberately annoying is nebbish. *DC35: GTFO! '''Cat Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC10: Ceiling cat is watching you masturbate. *DC15: Cats eat mice. *DC20: Cats hate you. No exceptions. *DC35: Cats can sometimes be [[Furry|Girls]]. *DC40: Nekos are the best cats. '''[[Hat]] Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Irish check. *DC15: Hats live on hatracks, or people's heads. *DC20: Hats can be used as a drinking apparatus. *DC25: Casey wore his brand new hat to Murphy's wake last night. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSk0SxaXgbw Someone stole his hat and, boy, it started up a fight.] *DC30: Hats, Beards, and Sweden [[Minecraft|go well together]]. *DC40: Commissars wear hats. Don't tell anyo[[*BLAM*]] *DC45: Team Fortress 2 is a game about hats. '''Internet Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check. *DC10: The internet is for porn. *DC15: The internet is not a big truck. *DC20: The internet is a series of tubes. *DC35: Skynet has been born, and has sent robot killers back in time to terminate you. *DC40: You're on the internet right now! '''Doge Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC15: Such fur *DC20: So popular *DC25: Very great *DC30: Wow '''Abaddon Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC15: Abaddon is the Warmaster of Chaos. *DC20: Abaddon has no arms. *DC25: Abaddon is a(n) (armless) failure. *D30: "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!" '''[[Dwarf Fortress]] Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Computers check. *DC10: Press ? to see help. *DC15: Not /. *DC20: This game is technically in 3D. *DC30: The red stuff is blood. *DC35: Blood from your most useful dwarf being shanked in the face. *DC40: That "g" did it. *DC60: The "g"s are goblins, and there's more of them. *DC500: You can set up a basic military like so... '''Ork Lore''' *DC10: WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! *DC15: DAKKA *DC20: STUPID BEEKIEZ *DC25: I'Z DA BIGGEST BOSS AROUND!!!! *DC30: EVERYONE KNOWZ GREEN IZ BEST '''Chaos Spawn Lore''' A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check. *DC10: Saying "Chaos Spawn" will OH SH- '''GRAJIRAGJEARJGEA''' *DC20: Chaos s- those guys are created when someone either says their name, or fails their dark master *DC30: Chaos Spawn are '''ADSAFDSARGRAAA''' ahem, chaos aligned =='''Gallery'''== <gallery> Image:CAVEBEAR.JPG|Cave bears live in caves. Image:Bearclaw.jpg|A bear and its natural weapon. Image:Manvsbear.jpg|BEAR LORE: LEARN IT. Image:Bear_cavalry.jpg|Another reason take Bear Lore as a feat. Image:Neckbear.jpg|What happens when poor spelling, [[neckbeard]]s, and failed DC15 checks collide </gallery> ==See Also== *[[Bear cavalry]] *[[Bear trap]] *[[Angry Bear]] [[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]] [[Category:RAGE]] [[category:Meme]]
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