Editing Ork (section)

===The Anzion Theorem of Orkoid Mechamorphic Resonant Kinetics - Every Ork is a Psyker===

The Anzion Theorem postulates that Ork technology works mainly because the Orks think it does. The explanation is that the subconscious gestalt psychic field that all Orks generate enables their technology to function; the stronger the field, the more esoteric their technological achievements become. In older versions of the fluff, if you hand an Ork a pipe and convince him it's a gun, it WILL shoot bullets. In current fluff, this is definitely not the case; if you hand an Ork a slugga that has been stripped of all internal mechanisms, it won't suddenly start firing bullets just because the Ork believes it should. However, if a crudely manufactured slugga consistently misfires in the hands of a human but *does* fire reliably when wielded by an Ork, it is definitely Orkish belief that is bridging that gap. If the Ork picks up a mixed handful of slightly different caliber rounds and jams them into it, it will (most likely) shoot them all and not jam up from the different sizes. This means that technologies that should be ''impossible'' become merely ''unlikely'' when crafted by an Ork. In short, if Ork technology is held together by spit, duct tape, and hope, then the Orks' psychic field provides the hope.

To put it another way, Orks believe that, "Red wuns are fasta." They believe that blue is lucky. They believe that yellow is more shooty and/or more explosive, and that black represents strength and toughness. And because they believe this, it manifests as true; thus this applies not only to the Orks themselves but also to their wargear. For example, a meat cleaver in the hands of an Ork can tear through the toughest ceramite armor if the Ork believes it will; for anyone BUT an Ork, a power weapon or the equivalent would be required to do so. That same cleaver, with a battery and wires crudely bolted to it, would BE a power weapon in the hands of an Ork.

This tends to work well for them, but not for the other races of the galaxy: Imperial observers note that Ork weapons will generally function poorly or not at all in the hands of a non-Ork. The only reason the Orks haven't exploited the limits of their generated gestalt field by creating easily made but devastatingly powerful weaponry that could eclipse the weapons of the other races is that they themselves do not know nor understand that they create said field, they believe that their equipment works because that's how the universe works, not because they themselves are making it work. Which, in a way, makes it true. This, in turn, makes for an interesting paradox: If Orks managed to understand the physical universe as it is, they would not believe their "weapons" work, thus stripping them of their psychic advantage. If there is a little ounce of disbelief, this would quite literally nullify their ability to believe hard enough to manipulate reality. Of course, this is actually monumentally absurd when you think about it. The galaxy is full of ''trillions'' of Mekboyz and Weirdboyz who have collectively been Orkin' about for ''billions'' of years, and yet ''not one'' has ever figured out this fundamental aspect of Orkiness?

This said, Orky know-wots DO have a say in stuff that the Orks build. Mekboyz build much of the stuff they do because they have been genetically programmed with the knowledge on how to make and maintain their technology. While much of their tech runs because they want it to, the fact is that the Orks ''can'' actually produce, and even improve upon, technology based on certain conceptual principles that they somewhat understand and can replicate to some degree or another. This explains how Orks can build such technological wonders as the Shokk Attack Gun, Tellyportaz, and [[Gargant]]s. Also, there ''have'' been instances of Ork tech working well in the hands of other races (at least for a time till it blows up). Be careful though, most Ork players have ''very'' deep-set opinions on how Orky tech works, and [[skub|debates]] between them can generate much [[RAGE]].

So if the Anzion Theorem is true, there are still some unanswered questions. For example, if Orks do indeed create some innate psychic field of belief, then would [[Sisters of Silence]] or a [[Blank]] be able to interfere with or destroy that power, thus causing Ork constructions to fail? We know Orks DEFINITELY have a passive psychic field, after all, but the Sisters don't seem to interfere with it in the same way that they do with the active psychic powers wielded by battlefield psykers. Perhaps the answer is that WAAAAGH energy is something almost completely different from the psychic abilities that other races use, and it therefore tends to ignore/negate some of the restrictions other psykers have. That would suggest that when the Old Ones created the Orks they used some other form of psychic phenomenon that is unrelated to or is isolated from the warp somehow. This might suggest that Orks' gestalt psychic field is actually a very advanced form of technology similar to that used to create the [[Webway]]. Alternatively there may be another distinct metalevel in the warp that Orks draw from; after all, we know Orks' gestalt field works as well in the warp as in reality, because their ships can traverse the warp without Gellar fields and remain unharmed. Ultimately we don't know, but there is definitely ''something'' going on. Probably. Who knows? In the end, we should look at it from the viewpoint of an Ork: As long as it works, who cares? Worrying about it just means less time krumping gits.

====Orks and the Emperor====

An extension of the "All Orks are Psykers" theory is that the [[Emperor|Emprahs]] continued existence (despite the fact his throne is in serious need of an MOT) is the fact that the Orks BELIEVE it to be so. As any self-respecting Weirdboy will tell you, what da boyz fink will 'appen 'appens (see below), so if they think the Emperor is still alive then alive he will be. Probably cos they're stupid enough not to realise he's a corpse more fucked than a Slaaneshi cultist at Ciaphas Cain's place.. <span style='color:green;font-size:115%'>'ANG ON A SECOND.. I FINK DEY BE MAKIN FUN OF US...WELL.....MAYBE WE OUTTA GO STOMP SUM HUMIES!</span> {{BLAM|That's right, the "chaos boys" are messing with you Orks, go stomp them in the name of the Emp... For the WAAAGGGHH! (-ahem- Heretics...)}}
Although in the Ghazkull/Makari novel they dismiss the "humies' dead god" as a pathetic wimp who cannot even stand from his throne to krump some gitz in person.

====Orks and Yarrick====
Another slightly less stupid theory. Commissar Sebastian Yarrick is still alive despite his massive, massive age because Ghaz and his boyz think he should be alive. Also Orks believe a glance from Yarrick can kill them, so Yarrick installed a laser eye and it works better against the greenskins. And of course, he also wields an Ork power klaw that, perhaps for the all the same reasons, apparently works quite well for him.