Editing
Kulmorost Divided
(section)
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Warning:
You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you
log in
or
create an account
, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.
Anti-spam check. Do
not
fill this in!
=== Elvish === ====Of A Treatise on the Fairer Sexes of each of the Civilized Races of Kulmorost==== written by yours truly, Terk Syrnal, humble elfen bard and womaniser extraordinaire. "Elven women are generally thin, lithe, small chested, and their faces have a sort of strange, exotic beauty about them. Their pointed ears are long, almost like a short knife, flexible, sensitive, and soft like velvet. The author is somewhat biased, but he believes that Elf women are among Kulmorost's most skilled in sensuous matters. The whiter ones are delightful, sultry farmer's daughters types, and are typically naive and curious about the world beyond their family homestead. They're quite modest and shy, but once intoxicated can become quite brazen and playful. The browner ones have a much more fiery, tempermental, and energetic personality, somewhat fittingly, given their desert home. They're less inhibited than their northern cousins, and are generally more susceptible to the advances of foriegners. The author had the utmost difficulty in locating, let alone seducing a Drow, but the author is quite persistent and experienced in his craft, and after much trial and effort, was able to succeed. The drow tend to be extremely quiet around foriegners, are overly rational and calm, showing very little outward emotion. Almost invariably, drow women have a sort of nervous shyness around men they find attractive, and will loudly voice their disdain if one attempts to call them out on it. Despite what common sense dictates, it is folly to attempt to outright seduce a drow woman, as they become very defensive and close themselves off, causing their would-be lover to lose their opportunity." "Rather, if one is attempting to seduce a drow woman, the would-be seducer must ingratiate himself into a drow tribe. which is a challenge in and of itself. He must then openly demonstrate some sort of skill uncommon among the drow, such as lightning magic or in the author's case, skillfully playing a lute. Demonstrating a skill is of the utmost importance, as drow women prize capability in their mates above all else. The would-be seducer must then politely ignore the drow women, whilst continuing to demonstrate their skill. If he stays the course, the seducer will incite lust among a few of the Tribe's younger, unmarried drow. He musn't speak to them, or show even the slightest sign of interest, or they will lose interest, as the seducer must seem to be unattainable to retain interest. When a few months have passed, one of the drow women will ask the would-be seducer to demonstrate their skill to them personally. It is then that the would-be must seduce their quarry. He must do so subtly, and somewhat patronizingly, as if she isn't worth his time, and if done correctly, the drow will slowly but surely become enflamed with lust. The would-be seducer must not make the first move, but he must then begin to show slight interest. If the would-be seducer has done everything correctly, the drow will begin to flirt herself, and it is then that the Drow and would-be seducer enter in a battle of words, and the would-be seducer must begin slowly and, above all, subtly escalate the innuendo in his attempts at seduction, until the drow is practically dripping with barely disguised lust. It is then, that the would-be seducer makes the first move, something innocuous, like putting a hand on her shoulder, or on her knee. If the would-be seducer has done everything correctly, the drow will initiate intercourse, and it will have been by far worth the wait." "When the deed is done, the successful seducer must remain in the Tribe for some time, to leave suddenly would incite suspicion, and possibly scalping. He must wait, spending each night with his lover, until at least one month has passed. He must then wait until nightfall comes, spend a final night with his lover, and when she has fallen asleep, leave in the dead of night as stealthily as possible. With luck, the Tribe won't realise what happened and hunt the seducer down, and the seducer will get off scot-free. Usually, when three months have passed, the stomach of the seducer's former lover will begin to dwell and the Tribe will catch on, but by then it's much too late to do anything about it. Dwarven women are short, thick, soft, and curvaceous. Regardless of what popular rumor may claim, they do not have excessive body hair, and are not, for the most part, racist prudes or drunken harlots. When one is attempting to seduce a Dwarven woman, he must be careful to ensure that she is unmarried, and impious, else one's efforts are doomed to failure. Good food and plenty of it, is the key to a Dwarf woman's heart and bosom. One must be blunt with their intentions and clear that they don't intend to settle down in a lasting relationship, (unless one is a Dwarf himself, in which case the opposite is true,) and odds are, she'll be receptive to one's advances. Orcish women are large, and possess a strange sort of rugged beauty, with a form both muscular and feminine, and supple, glistening green skin. They are extremely blunt about their intentions and feelings, and if one is blunt and attractive themselves, they'll most certainly succeed in their endeavor." "Human women are stubborn, hateful, and nigh impossible to bring to heel if one is not a Human themselves. As for appearances, they vary tremendously, and run the gamut of thick and thin, but almost all have an enticing sort of inner fire. Regretfully, the author was unable to seduce a Human woman, and as the author is an elf of honor and scruples, he was unwilling to force a Human woman to copulate, as much as both parties might've enjoyed it. The author hopes this Treatise was informative to the reader, and will aid him in his own efforts." ''Historians note:'' Terk Syrnal disappeared shortly after publishing this Treatise and a dagger of unknown make, possibly drowish or orcish, was found on his pillow. ====About the Lesians==== The Lesians? The crude semi-intelligent lizards from the island over the canal? Hah! Do not dare to label them as one of the Mighty Magical Races! They chirp to each other like birds, a brutish language lacking the sophistication of our elven language or the systematic focus of the dwarvish script. I am not even sure can they write at all. I have understood that they have recently began to imitate human speech and the humans have been sufficiently bluffed that they actually believe to be talking with them! Rest assured, imitating human speech is simple feat that even elven children could do if we would be so cruel to allow one to experience that horrible babbling. Their religion is a travesty, a pale copy of the dwarven mythos without deeper understanding of the world around them. As such, the Lesians are fully without a Society, merely interest to us because of their predatory nature and great numbers, which were sadly left unchecked for too long. Alas if the other Princes had listened to my grandfather, who campaigned for their culling in his youth! Even the Lesians only militaristic achievement, the defeat of the Blood Orcs, can be easily explained by the numbers of the Lesians, their characteristic disregard of their own casualties and the utter ignorance of military tactics of the Blood Orcs, who cared much more about gory kills than winning. In conclusion, the annoying Lesian raids are no match for the combined might of the Elven Principalities and our staunch dwarven allies! -Cinnar, Prince of the coastal realm of Kinost, 2 years before the Invasion. ====Notes of Amanur, the Troll Headhunter==== (The notes are popular among mercenaries) We gather in city of MUN that sits on the edge of troll land, in group of fifteen mercenaries, enough to kill a troll without problem yet small enough to go unnoticed. After preparing everything: food, weapons, traps and rope strong enough to pull the body. We leave at the sunrise and venture into land of those beasts, this land is completely uncivilized, almost no agriculture, no roads or bridges. What is there are those towers stupid beasts build, they are seen from far away for us before troll inside will see us. That's when we stop and put up our camp and prepare to night when we strike. When sun falls we leave two guys at camp while everyone else moves toward the tower. We break at enough groups to enclose them from all sides and overwhelm beasts from range, magic, bows, everything works as long as you don't get in close. That not always so smooth as trolls are stubborn and refuse to die quickly, running wildly into us....The death of one or two are no problem, we still can carry their bodies, but if more than half dies we bury bodies in our camps. We don't stay for night to sleep at camp, we tie our price and go back to city as fast as we can, staying more than one day in this land rises danger tremendously, most groups return on second day, those who go deeper into enemy land return on third day, rarely any groups who left after three days ever returns. The pay is very hefty, better than working on fields, that's for sure. Bounties on Night trolls started to pop up recently and every body has price five times higher than Hill one! ====The Tragedy of Lilith==== Lilith Armeni Liliac, the Seductress, Traitormaker and Witch-Whore of south (all these titles only know to a humans), a woman who caused Carnage of Cain. Lilith was a quite unimportant princess of very small duchy near northern borders on South, she and her cousin seeker a glory and fame for their duchy in Human Exodus war. They both devised a very Machiavellian plan: they in secret maked several human kingdoms unite against invasions, while several of them was traitors. In plan, they will betray their kin, cousin will win battle against separated forces and capture traitors to keep them as gelded pets in gilded cage. But every plans goes awry: Lilith cousin was accidentally killed by a single stray arrow right at beginning of battle. In the end, all credit was taken by his second-in-command, a petty noble with no lands, Bre Guile (to this day, House Guile one of most powerful families of South, they name revered for tactical genius and bravery), human traitors was killed and role of Lilith was mostly unknown for Elves, but not for Humans. Her name is still reviled by humans and to this day, Elves is still heavily associated with her. As for Elven history? Well, she was nothing but mere footnote - she was only known only as princess of duchy who was quietly assimilated after her death, she attended several very decadent patries and, in the end, was permanently was enchanted as statue in colonnade for "having too deviant tastes" by very powerful wizard for his own brothel. These brothel is still there and very famous these days, indulging almost every sin and fetish possible. Such life in Elven Principalitites! ====An Encounter Between The Eye Of Storm Ocean and Three Sky Whales==== ''The following was written by a Elven fisherman, who wishes to remain anonymous:'' I am not one to recount events of my life onto paper, but I am willing to make an exemption. Merely 30 minutes ago, we were in Storm Ocean on a trip to deliver cargo and for a little bit of fishing on the side. They always say, Storm Ocean's fish taste better than any other, and I cannot disagree. Nevertheless, we were fishing in Storm Ocean, and we saw the Eye in the distance. It was looking away from us, but we were all still on edge. As we started at the beast, something uncanny occurred: three Sky Whales came down from the clouds and struck the Eye directly into its... well, eye. The Eye regained its focus after the attack, and suddenly, almost like a divine intervention, its eye glowed yellow and all of the Sky Whales stopped moving mid-air. They slowly began sinking through the air, unable to move in any other direction but down. They must have realised what was going to happen, as all three seemed to be panicking to a frightening degree. And, sure enough, they were slowly lowered into the water, and held underwater, all three thrashing wildly and bubbles surfacing from their helpless bodies. This went on for minutes, with the Eye never breaking its gaze on its three victims. Eventually, the movements stopped and the bubbles no longer emerged from underwater. Three tentacles, however, did emerge from the water, only to be wrapped around the three carcasses and lowered deep underwater. This event alone was enough for the captain to command the ship to leave Storm Ocean. Now, I am aware how ludicrous the following may sound, but I swear on my mother's soul that this really did happen. As we were leaving, the Eye looked at our boat. And then it leered at us, and one of its tentacles moved side-to-side, as if it was waving! I'm hoping to all that is pure that the waving was just a reflex and the leering was because we were leaving its line of sight, but I certainly felt an aura of unpleasantness by just looking at the thing. If what I saw was anything different from reflexes and sight problems, it would explain why it bothered to drown three Sky Whales instead of twisting their spines, which is the most common form of death recorded in relation to the Eye. If it was sending a message, message received. I'll fish in Val Sea from now on, I'm sure the fish taste just as nice.
Summary:
Please note that all contributions to 2d4chan may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here.
You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see
2d4chan:Copyrights
for details).
Do not submit copyrighted work without permission!
Cancel
Editing help
(opens in new window)
Navigation menu
Personal tools
Not logged in
Talk
Contributions
Create account
Log in
Namespaces
Page
Discussion
English
Views
Read
Edit
View history
More
Search
Navigation
Main page
Recent changes
Random page
Help about MediaWiki
Tools
What links here
Related changes
Special pages
Page information