Editing Walmart Apocalypse (section)

===TOBACCO===

Native American smoke signallers, split between ‘clean’ Nicotine addicts and tobacco users, nicotine patch addicts are black lung raiders, fear Carcinnus and Tarrus demons who possess smokers and profess way of K’lean Livvin, live in makeshift temples, expels demons by removing lungs, (based on real life truth.org guys apparently but with even more hypocrisy), normal tobacco use lottery tickets as currency, have only working pachinko lottery machine (more on that later), no one gets winning lottery ticket, revere past winners?

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Tobacco dwellers use large towers and mirrors that act as signal devices. They burn stuff in these towers and the smoke, and reflected light are used to send message, in all likelihood this sets off the sprinkler systems. You have two normal factions here, those who smoke tobacco and find a sort of zen in it, and those who heed the warnings of the feared surgeon general and use nicotine products instead.

It's also home to the Black Lung Raiders, a tribe of vicious savages who worship the deity K'Lean Livvun, they sacrifice people in his name and pray to him so that he will spare them from the demons of Tarrun and Carrcinus. They believe the demons of Tarrun and Carcinnus can only be removed from a person's body by cutting out their lungs. They mark their territory with the lungs and skulls of their victims. I assume they live in temple fortresses and shun tobacco and liquor as tainted products.

====PACHINKO-LOTTERY====

Your players have actually managed to do it. They’ve found one of the rarest of items, a winning WalLottery ticket. It’s an unheard of feat and with it comes the opportunity to acquire a wonderfully useful item no one’s had in centuries; money. Now all they have to do is insert it into the pachinko lottery machine in Tobacco and hope for the best. Of course, it’s more likely that they’ll be once again endangered by this opportunity as you roll on the WalLottery chart for their reward…

WELCOME TO THE WALBRAND PACHINKO LOTTERY©*

WHICH PRIZE DO YOU WISH TO RECEIVE:

>CASH

>ITEM

>YOU HAVE SELECTED CASH

*(Consumers should be aware that prizes are not available across all areas, may be valued less than advertised, may be valued more than advertised, recipient may not receive prize from intended category, statutory genetic information my be collected from prize recipient, recipient's contact details may be forwarded to advertisers and intelligence agencies, faults commonly occur with Wal-Brand Service Drones© in nearby area, potential recipients health may be endangered by ozone formed by WalBrand Pachinko Lottery© Machine and that WalMart© and associated companies are not liable for any damages caused as a result of using these services.)

THANK YOU CUSTOMER AND GOOD LUCK

(DM Side Note once we actually get d100 chart: If you don't wish to use the random lottery prize table, that's perfectly fine. Just make up something. Go on, it's alright. The more darkly humorous and ironically excruciating to your players the better. Make them fear the almighty pachinko lottery. They'll forgive you eventually. Probably.)

(Also, include joke about 25 pound diamond size of human head in d100 table, cursed item, useless )