Editing Lamentations of the Flame Princess (section)

==="Adventures" written by James Raggi===
* '''[[Better Than Any Man]]''': A group of adventurers is sent to a town during the Thirty Years' War to root out rumors of witchcraft before Gustavus Adolphus burns the place to the ground.  A cabal of women have taken over with the aid of monsters from beyond space and time. They probably die, and a level 17 Magic-User gets killed by Swedes. Better than most of his other work, by virtue of being pretty good at historical horror and weirdness, and also given away for free. 
* '''[[Death Frost Doom]]''': A group of adventurers ventures into a disbanded cult's ancient stronghold.  They probably die and/or cause a massive zombie apocalypse.  (Or leave, there's nothing really keeping them there until they've passed so many red flags that even the most genre blind of PCs will get the hint).  Includes a bonus mini-adventure involving a tower that is ''also'' a seemingly-fun dungeon that is also a big trap full of Bad Things. Later got a rewrite by Zak Smith in collaboration with Raggi that tries to close various loopholes with mixed success.
* '''[[Death Love Doom]]''': A group of adventurers investigates the estate of a wealthy family which has recently gone missing.  What follows can best be summed up as Raggi's performance of the Aristocrats routine.  They probably leave in disgust, or die.  Solving the problem is impossible, as the entirety of the plot has already happened offscreen when the PCs show up, keeping it from happening again requires real-world psionics.
* '''[[Fuck For Satan]]''': A purposely-generic adventure to save some missing kids is derailed by an unrelated, bizarre dungeon full of traps and monsters that are either silly (a trap that forces you to void your bowels, then fight your own turds, a literal dick monster) or just lethal screw yous (doorknobs that inflict permanent stat drain, no saving throw, a monster that rages about content in previous LotFP modules).  They probably die, but if they actually do ignore the bait and stay out of the dungeon, an astral being that hates the DM as much as the DM hates the players gives them power over him.  They will probably then encounter a second unrelated, bizarre cult involving gay orgies and a second literal dick monster (who is just as confused about what's going on as the players probably are). The kids were actually eaten by a bear, which has a 1/10 chance of showing up each day but is otherwise not probably found by actual player action.  Funny, if juvenile and meta.
* '''[[The God That Crawls]]''': A group of adventurers is kidnapped and thrown into a maze full of forbidden artifacts and a deadly monster for reasons that may not make sense.  They probably die.  Explicitly for "breaking" groups that feel like they can deal with any monster the game throws at them. See the gallery for a pretty typical run-through.
* '''[[No Salvation For Witches]]''': Some assholes are trying to remake the world under a magical dome of plot bullshit. Also, the Thing is wandering around and a lot of people are dying horribly. The party gets involved, and they probably die.  Treasures include the local abbot's [[Promotions|porn stash]] and a magical dildo you can steal from a horribly-deformed child bride. Look in the wrong peephole and you call the Tyranids. 
* '''[[Green Devil Face #1]]''': A group of adventurers are recruited to battle thinly veiled versions of people the author doesn't like.  They probably die. Pointlessly.
* '''The Grinding Gear''': A love letter to ''[[Tomb of Horrors]]'' and a relatively lighthearted module after the never ending line of gloomy GM dickery.  Note that we just described a ''Tomb of Horrors''-alike as a lighthearted break from GM dickery.
* '''[[The Monolith From Beyond Space and Time]]''': A group of adventurers gets word of a bizarre structure in a secluded valley that warps reality around itself.  They'll definitely be very confused and probably wish they were dead by the time they get there.  By the time they leave, at least one of them will almost certainly be worse than dead, and the rest will be even more confused.  And if they try to wander off partway, terrible things happen to ''force'' them to come back.  
* '''[[Tower of the Stargazer]]''': A group of adventurers tries to get into a paranoid wizard's tower.  They probably die or leave empty handed just as the adventure is beginning.
* '''Vaginas are Magic / Eldritch Cock''': Raggi attempts to make a new magic system composed entirely of metal song titles and fucked-up miscast results. There are a couple decent spells tucked in amongst the silliness and edge.
* '''[[Tales of the Scarecrow]]''': The party gets trapped in a cornfield, and the player that comes up with the best/most deadly finale for the adventure wins XP. Which they will promptly lose because trying to leave wakes up the unkillable tentacle monster under the house, just as said deadly finale comes true, meaning, you guessed it, they probably die.
* '''[[Going Through Forbidden Underworlds]]''': Basically the plot of Doom save that it takes place in a tiny 7-room deathtrap. Theoretically allows you to plane-jump. It just isn't safe, controllable, or particularly interesting. Bonus points for being a paid print product, yet having less content than any of the ''free'' <s>Kickstarter</s> IndieGoGo bonus adventures.
* '''[[Zak Has Nothing To Do With This Book]]''': Supposed to be a "RPG version of the Hateful Eight". In actuality, it's about how Raggi is sad that he had to stop dealing with Zak Smith after the latter was accused of major abuse. It features an NPC incidentally named Zachary who is so totally innocent of everything, and the accusers are the bad people, no really you guys. The original (printed) version ends with a editorial/rant where Raggi tells about his sympathy with Zak since he (Raggi) has also been accused of physical abuse by two women. Eh, Raggi, using ''that'' as an argument might not have ''quite'' the intended effect. Also there's something about how not buying a book because you don't like the author as a person is censorship. The later PDF versions don't have this editorial.