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==Gods of Chaos== {{Main|Chaos Gods}} In both the Fantasy and 40k settings there are four chief Chaos deities, and a number of [[Chaos Gods#The Other Ones|minor gods]]. Perhaps these main four gods' primary contribution to the true horror of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 (especially that one) is that they are in below order: Honor, Hope, Compassion, and Love. Yes, in Warhammer the gods of everything good in the universe '''''are EVIL'''''. From a certain point of Obi-Wan Kenobi. On the worse side, it seems the Gods of Chaos must be pulling double-duty as the Gods of Order considering they also have aspects that can be associated with Order or Law (that would explain the eight-pointed star for four gods). More clear when Chaos Undivided is considered as the pros and cons of each power tend to balance out and complement when put together (change and stagnation, bloodshed and endurance, planning and perfection, etc.). In other words, the problem with Chaos might not be Chaos but rather its followers being the assholes and dregs of the galaxy. We're fucked because we suck. Ouch! In addition, Chaos gained awareness and basically finished gestating thanks to humanity (feudal times, no less) being...ahhhhh not exactly the nicest people around. So, in a way they're the human version of the eldar gods. It's therefore entirely possible that the reason followers of Chaos are so messed up is because human nature is that dark and twisted and those followers could have ''chosen'' to focus on Chaos's good points like planning, magic, honor, perfection, hope, joy, love, etc. The honorable, virtuous people of humanity shun Chaos because of its followers being freaks. This is so painful you just have to laugh at us. Look at the average Chaos cult outside of the control of some warlord or whatever. They honestly seem to have all the benefits and none of the drawbacks and are pretty normal people keeping to themselves. The psycho and mutated versions seem to almost exclusively show up on, unsurprisingly, the dystopian nightmare planets called Hive Worlds/Forge Worlds. Pretty obvious as to why. Consider what so frequently happens when you give any particular human total power, free of consequences. Depravity, cruelty, greed, excess, etc. As the aphorism goes, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” But, power is just power, nothing more. It doesn't corrupt anyone and blaming it for peoples' own choices is just a cop-out. Power does not corrupt, it merely allows peoples' true selves to come out. So if the Chaos gods are the embodiment of of our own most powerful, prevalent thoughts, emotions, tendencies, drives, and appetites, we really only have ourselves to blame. I.e. blame the furries or every wealthy, powerful person and/or governing body mankind has ever known. Probably all of the above. And the odd serial killer or mass murderer. But most of all, blame yourself, you sick fuck. On the bright side, you’ll be so crazy you will enjoy whatever happens to you and even as a soul you’ll enjoy your afterlife as if it were heaven. So, to be human and happy in 40k, go to Hell. ===[[Khorne]]=== ''God of Hate, [[Rage]], Blood, War, Battle, Combat, Violence, Strength, Wrath, Fighting and Killing, Survival of the Fittest, and Honor'' Stated as being the strongest Chaos God due to all the violence in the Warhammers (one of which has only war, or so we're told), and the Chaos Gods themselves being nothing more than palpable manifestations of abstract emotion and philosophy who thus are fed whenever these things are exerted in the real world. In fact, just by playing the game you make Khorne stronger. In a parallel version of the Warhammer Fantasy universe, [[Blood Bowl]], he has his own football team. ===[[Tzeentch]]=== ''God of Change, Lies, Hope, Ambition, Manipulation, Scheming and Sorcery, Politics, Planning, Knowledge, Fate, Hope, Trolling, (formerly) Magic and Lulz'' {{topquote|Chaos exists in a state of permanent victory over you - you dance to our tune, mortal one, you butcher and torture and repress one another because the gods of the warp require you to... My lord Tzeentch won your war a long, long time ago.|Ghargatuloth, Daemon Prince of Tzeentch}} Tzeentch is prone to utter the phrase "[[JUST AS PLANNED]]". Second strongest and the most successful Chaos God for some reason. Probably because the oppressed peasantry and ambitious warriors are always hoping for food/death/glory. Respectively. Since the nature of Chaos is stated above. In Warhammer Fantasy he's more important as he's the Chaos God of magic, <s>which is ironic because not only does he do all of jack and shit in Fantasy but he also has the weakest Daemons in the army (even his own special magic lore sucks)</s> Gameplay and Story Segregation/ maybe Games Workshop hates Tzeentch or aren't skilled enough to write him well. He claims to be the origin of all magic, but that's bullshit since that would make him the origin of everything, including the other Chaos Gods; so we know he's a fucking liar on top of being a [[If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device|NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!]] Super nerd, really, as Tzeentch is ''made of every thought and idea that has ever existed, does exist, and will exist''. Perhaps he IS the origin of the other gods. Just as planned? And really, the other gods all rely entirely on sorcery and change, especially mutation, as well as plots and, well, Tzeentch controls freaking FATE so there’s that. If there is any single embodiment of the Primordial Truth and Chaos itself, it’s Tzeentch. Furthermore, if chaos/the warp is really a realm of limitless potential energy given limitless meaning and form by mortal souls, then Tzeentch, being the god of unlimited possibility and change is the closest to Chaos Undivided itself. That would potentially (there’s that word again) make him the closest to being realm/warp itself, and thus all of the gods combined. So maybe, just maybe, ''the other gods don't exist and '''there is only Tzeentch''''' and the Great Game is '''Solitaire'''. Isn't it great, though? Rejoice! For there is a God of Hope! And it's '''''EVIL'''''. ===[[Nurgle]]=== ''God of Decay, Despair, Acceptance, Destruction, Rebirth, Disease, Persistence, Endurance, Tolerance, Compassion, Joy, and Empathy '' Also known as "Papa Nurgle" or "Grandfather Nurgle", the bloated lord of disease arose from man's fear of death. His followers are afflicted with various awful plagues, but do not suffer or die of them. As well as this respite, he offers those who worship him a sense of family and belonging which is incongruous with the usual attitudes of the chaos gods and his own fearsome appearance. Cited in books as being the third strongest of the gods, until a jolly plague party pops up, where he temporarily overshadows his brothers until the party(participants) dies off. He runs a carnival in Warhammer Fantasy proving once more that all clowns are evil beings full of disease that want to take you away from your parents. God of Persistence/Stagnation despite his whole schtick being entropy and growth, or (since this is chaos) as the girl says, “Why not both?” Ain’t the eightfold path a gem? ===[[Slaanesh]]=== ''God of Excess, Decadence, Pain, Pleasure, Perfection, Aesthetics, Self Indulgence, and Love'' Slaanesh gave us [[Daemonette|Daemonettes]]. PLEASE NOTE: Daemonettes are not as attractive in the canon as they are in the pictures on this site. In fact they traditionally only have one breast and have crab claws for hands. For one edition, [[Hordes of Chaos]], they got a revamp (thank you, Juan Diaz) to be much sexier, with a mixture of scythe-blade hands and human hands, and being pretty obviously female (often with [[/d/|multiple breasts]]), which is [[Monstergirl|where most of the love for them comes from]]. They got changed back the very next edition, along with the loss of [[Chaos Undivided]] as its own force. Slaanesh is fairly active in the 'hammer universes. In 40k he was birthed from the non-stop 80's mosh orgy of the [[Eldar]] and as a result has claim to each and every Eldar soul, which he/she eats like popcorn. In Fantasy he prefers making Elves into Daemonettes, preferring them as an occasional dessert while he watches his figure (in a mirror, at all times). No way one person can convince anyone else that Slaanesh isn't all sex, drugs and Rock and Roll, with a side order of sadism and masochism that would make Pinhead (Hellraiser) moist. All but a sure bet that the official/unofficial first warp-space flight of the Event Horizon dropped right into the lap of a Slaanesh orgy. ===[[Malal]]=== ''A renegade Chaos God, representing the paradox of Chaos fighting against itself.'' Long since removed from the setting ever since [[GW]] couldn't decide who owned the rights. JUST AS PLANNED. Malal likes random violence and smashing stuff, which makes him chaotic neutral, because he is just as likely to mess up the other Chaos Gods plans as it is to prey on Humans and stuff. In short when all the other 4 Chaos gods got together to hatch a plan, Malal storms in and shouts "SURPRISE!!!" and proceeds to try to kill, mutilate set fire to, and destroy anything within reach. Even Khorne has some self discipline and can (though barely) hold it together to have a chat about how to get more Blood and Skulls - Malal just destroys anything within reach - It is completely unhinged and revels in random destruction and violence. Each time Chaos squabbles, Malal gets stronger. The true edge-lord god of hating everyone and everything and embracing nihilism and self destruction. i.e the god of emo. His colors are black and white. I rest my case. Nietzsche might have ascended to greater daemonhood for Malal (if one is willing to take liberties with philosophy; and since this is chaos, you bet your soul-ass we do). Now of dubious canonicity between the copyright issues and GW simply not giving a shit. Malal has been reintroduced under the name of Malice through the Short story of the Sons of Malice: "Labyrinth". ===[[Horned Rat]]=== ''Chaos Vermin Lord, rebellious 13th God.'' Existing only in Fantasy, the Horned Rat is a daemonic entity of unknown origin who has somehow become the patron deity of a race of rat-men called "[[Skaven]]" in his image to worship him. As they grew in power, so did he. While possessing an intellect and planning comparable to Tzeentchian Greater Daemons (although without the master nerd sabotaging him), he's also very brutish and when summoned by his followers will oftentimes behave as an unintelligent monster, rampaging through their ranks and consuming his most loyal minions before returning to the Warp. ===[[Chaos Gods of Law|The Chaos Gods of Order]]=== While they have only been mentioned sparingly, and recent fluff has abandoned them for all intents and purposes, there were once four Chaos entities of Order (Chaos being potential after all, not always "inside out walrus" logic) in Warhammer Fantasy. They are also sometimes called the gods of Law. Their most prominent appearance is in the first edition of the Warhammer Fantasy roleplay. Their canonicity is dubious at best at this point, as they have never been mentioned anywhere else since then. The [[Emperor]] of Mankind is speculated to transform into the Warp God of Order should he be allowed to die. There are three mentioned by name. Alluminas was a god of light who shined eternally, freezing in place anything his light touched. His worship was said to be unknowable by mortal minds. [[Arianka]] was essentially Snow White, a being Tzeentch and the Horned Rat both feared, while Malal saw an opportunity to increase his own power, who was trapped in the mortal world in a crystalline coffin. This coffin is supposed to be under [[Praag]] and can be opened with a crystal key. [[Solkan]] empowered those who fought Chaos, including [[Inquisition|Witch Hunters]], in a manner more akin to Malal with some self-restraint. So, 40K is Warhammer in space with the Chaos Gods but no Order Gods. Yes, gods of evil but no gods of good. Fun to note that the symbol for Order in Eternal Champion is the same as the Tactical Marine symbol as well as the arrows used extensively during the Great Crusade. ===The Long War=== Chaos as a faction is notable for their meta role in both WHFB and WH40k - keeping the Grimdark at maximum dark grimness. They are one of the most evil factions in either setting, of course, but it goes deeper than that. A big part of the suck in both universes is that the most implacable enemy is not just insanely evil, but that no faction has a working game plan to shut Chaos down. No matter how often the ''good guys'' (or [[Vampire Counts|bad]] [[Ogre Kingdoms|guys]] [[Tyranids|who]] [[Necron|are]] [[Dark Elves|not]] Chaos) win, that's just a temporary victory. But the victories of ''Chaos'' are sometimes permanent and universe-changing, such as when they [[Great Rift|tore the galaxy a new asshole]] or [[The End Times|destroyed the goddamn WHFB world]]. An in-universe pep talk the forces of Chaos sometimes give each other is that they're fighting the "Long War" and that they will defeat the Imperium in the end, no matter how long it takes. From what we know so far this is a perfectly accurate assessment. There are some [[Ynnead|fringe cases]] where somebody comes up with a plan to save the setting from Chaos forever, but there's no hard evidence that these plans will work and some definite [[Teclis|cases]] of this ending in [[Lady of the Lake|complete]] failure. There ''is'' one reliable path to smashing Chaos, with a very notable downside - killing every sentient creature with a soul in the galaxy would leave Chaos too weak to do anything, until a new species arises that fits the bill at least. Only the Tyranids or Necrons can "save" us from Chaos through the straightforward process of omnicide, and even then the benefits can be considered debatable at best. And yes, your soul not being devoured by daemons because you were killed before they could get you is a benefit. Or, we could join Chaos but focus on the positive aspects such as honor and hope and magic and so on. ===The Great Game=== The reason the Long War is taking so long. See, Chaos doesn't play well with each other. Khorne hates Slaanesh, Nurgle hates Tzeentch, and every other possible pairing of the four-or-fivesome at the very least don't like each other much. So, they endeavor to be the last man(?) standing, defeating the other gods by conquest, trickery, or just not showing up whenever they need backup against the Emprah. In fact, it could be said that the Long War is just a minor distraction to the Chaos Gods and their real priority is their endless battle for dominance over one another in the Warp. And yet none of them can ever truly win, for if any of the Chaos Gods were to wipe out their rivals the Warp would grow calm and Chaos would cease to be Chaos. If you'd like a good perspective of how the gods view this Great Game, try [[Chaos in the Old World]], which turns this Great Game into a literal board game where the players take the role of a specific god in the WHFB pantheon. Special mention goes to how the game incentivizes crabs-in-a-bucket mentality: You don't really win as much as you avoid the rest of the pantheon's attention long enough that they let you win.
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