Editing Secundus (section)

==Tales of Infamy==
*Secundus says hello to his friends. (Written outside the House of Verus)
*Remember that one bathroom where shit was smeared everywhere? Secundus.
*Remember hearing about the 13 year old who raped an old lady? Secundus.
*Remember all those dicks you saw on chatroulette and omegle? Secundus.
*Secundus likes to screw boys. (Written outside the Eumachia Building -We don't just make shit up here at /tg/)
*It is believed that Vesuvius erupted after [[Gaius Valerius Venestus]] dared Secundus to defecate into the crater.
*Secundus can bugger a fire without burning his dick.
*When Dread Cthulhu emerges from the depths of Ry'leh, Secundus will have already left a turd on his doorstep.
*Every time someone shits on a doorstep, Secundus looks down from the heavens, and cries a smiling tear.
*"Secundus defecated here" is written three times on the same wall. (The man kept a freaking tally!)
*If Secundus were to visit The Drops, even the Orks would find it revolting.
*In many places around Pompeii, much graffiti describes someone who has defecated there. Some of them say it was Secundus. The rest are Secundus being modest.
*Every time you masturbate, you're actually doing an offering to Secundus.
*Every time you pee outdoors, hoping that nobody sees you, Secundus is there.
*Every time you have your head over the toilet bowl, puking after what you one thought of as a great party, you're actually praying to Secundus.
*Never ask Secundus to put a log on the fire.
*Secundus says hello to his Prima, wherever she is. I ask, my mistress, that you love me. (written outside the House and Office of Volusius Iuvencus - apparently he had a softer side)
*Secundus is literally a number 2.
*Butthurt? Probably a repressed memory of Secundus.
*Secundus makes [[Slaanesh]] look like a prude.
*Secundus makes [[Nurgle]] look hygienic.
*When Catachans smear their shit on their knives, they offer a silent prayer to Secundus.