Editing Kurdoss Valentian (section)

==A Million and One Pisstakes==
About those extra punishments; what Nagash did was condemn Kurdoss to never be allowed true rulership. To that effect - and to rub salt in the wound, because y'know, why not - Nagash cursed him;

* He is forced to obey Olynder, no matter what, meaning that she is most definitely the one who wears the ethereal pants in this relationship.
* He cannot raise his voice above a whisper, so no epic or inspiring speeches from Kurdy.
* Whenever he's sent on a mission away from Lady Olynder, he still isn't allowed to be the commander.
* He was given the highly demeaning official title of "Craven King".
* He was graciously given several gifts which are actually further mockery. These include a Scepter exclusively for BONKing, a [[Lumineth Realm Lords|comically oversized Crown]], and a big floating throne 
* Bound to him are a pair of ghost "heralds", who are the spirits of his murdered brothers. Instead of serving as actual heralds, however, they just loudly mock him in a manner similar to Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets (Herald 1: "Hey, I wouldn't say we're like Statler and Waldorf." Herald 2: "Yeah, why's that?" Herald 1: "Those guys got to see actual kings sometimes!" Both: "[[dohohoho|DoHOHOHOHO!]]").
* He is accompanied at all times by the [[Craventhrone Guard]] - his own special bodyguard unit that steal EVERY SINGLE ONE of his kills by sniping them in the head just before they die.
* He's made to be a melee powerhouse precisely because he thought his greatest weapon was his mind and Nagash takes pleasure in reducing him to a brute with a mace. 
* Every day at 5PM sharp, he receives a kick in the ghost-testicles from the nearest [[Tomb Banshee|Tomb]] or [[Myrmourn Banshee]]. If he's extra unlucky that day, it can come from Olynder herself.
* All the other Nighthaunt Heros are contractually obliged to point and laugh at him every time he enters a room.