Editing Sorin Markov (section)

==Background==
Being an old ass motherfucker, Sorin has done quite a bit in his life, which we have just learned about recently. This is to say, we learn more as the writers decide to add more onto his laundry list of achievements. In all fairness though, some of them are pretty damn badass.

===Vampirism===
Many years ago, there lived a man named Edgar Markov. He was an Alchemist in a land called Stensia, which was being swept over with famine. Not wanting to die of hunger like a little bitch, he decided to make a deal with a fucking demon, become a vampire, and then gave Sorin, his grandson, the same gifts given through his totally safe blood ritual. The experience was so horrifying that Sorin's spark awoke and he became a Planeswalker.

Keep in mind this was all well before the mending that nerfed planeswalkers, so Sorin went from being a scared child to being one of the most absurdly powerful beings in the universe. Feels good man, except for the trauma.

===The Eye of Ugin===
After what's assumed to be a few (thousand) years of eating people and brooding about being nigh omnipotent, Sorin decided to get off his lazy ass and do something with his immortal life. This something just so happened to be actually walk the planes, which is when he encountered the rapetastic [[Eldrazi]]. Sorin shat himself and got help from two other planeswalkers: [[Nahiri]] the lithomancer and [[Ugin]] the spirit dragon, who had mastery of colorless magic and somewhat understood the Eldrazi. The plan was for Nahiri and Ugin to make hedrons which would both lure and trap the Eldrazi. When the Eldrazi reached the hedrons, Ugin would anchor them to their physical form (basically their shadows), then "pin" and seal them into the plane with their massive hedron network (with the Eye of Ugin as the control center). Which goes more or less as planned. Nahiri stays behind on Zenikar to closely monitor the network and Eldrazi, while Ugin+Sorin agree to keep their phones on and come back to help if the Eldrazi breach their prison. (Spoiler Alert: they do)

[[File:Sorin Markov Master Troll.jpg|400px|thumb|right|When you live for millennia a man's gotta get his fun somehow.]]

===The Creation of Avacyn===
Over the years, Sorin spent more and more time away from the festering hellpit of Innistrad, but he could see from afar that things were becoming even MOAR GRIMDARK! The vampires were driving the humans back to the brink of annihilation, which is a terrible idea since they need human blood to live and all. This finally forced Sorin's hand to '''DO SOMETHING'''. It was the second time he ever had to do a thing, but this time Sorin had learned that having friends is the key to success.

So he created one.

Sorin used up a massive amount of his power to forge Avacyn, the guardian angel of Innistrad, as a glorified gamekeeper for the entire plane as a whole. Yes, the mono-black vampire Planeswalker specializing in mind-rape and blood-sucking [[Mary Sue|created a mono-white angel]], oldwalkers were overpowered and didn't give a hoot about "color pie". The grateful humans founded the Church of Avacyn in honor of her deeds and protection, while the vampires told Sorin to go fuck himself for stopping their completely unsustainable slaughter.

===Rise of the Eldrazi===
Thousands of years later, [[Chandra Nalaar]], [[Jace Beleren]], and [[Sarkhan Vol]] all collectively shit the bed (possibly manipulated by Bolas) and break the seal on the Eye of Ugin. Luckily this doesn't set the Eldrazi free just yet, so Sorin comes back to help and not let shit devolve further. Unfortunately he immediately met up the exemplar of extreme stupidity, the [[Elf]] planeswalker [[Nissa Revane]].

Sorin told her of his plan to reinforce the Eye, and Nissa agrees to help. When they arrive the magic around the Eye was extremely weak, and so he prepared to do some serious patchwork. But Nissa, in all of her infinite elven wisdom, raised her mighty staff and brought it right down on the structure, completely destroying it. She thought that once the GIGANTIC LOVECRAFTIAN PLANET EATING TENTACLE MONSTERS saw the two of them, they would flee the plane! [[Fail|They didn't]].

Sorin left Zendikar, flipping it the bird as hard as he goddamn could, letting the residents of the plane and Nissa die a horrible death while he looked for Ugin to repair shit before the Eldrazi escaped entirely.

===The Imprisonment of Avacyn===
After this tremendous Eldrazi-related fuck-up, Sorin decided it was time to go home, sit on the couch, and have a nice tall glass of cold blood ale before finding Ugin. But the first thing he noticed was that his waifu Avacyn was nowhere to be found! Vampires and other horrors were back in full force, decimating humanity once again. And demons and devils had joined the party, so now humans could have a side of ass-rape with their being devoured by werewolves, drained by vampires, and possession by spirits. As one could expect, Sorin was just a little bit [[Rage|upset]].

He'd had enough of being civil thanks to good ol' Nissa Revane ruining his plans, and enforced a simple policy; anyone asked a question as to where Avacyn was would provide an answer, and if they got in his way they would die. This [[Inquisitor|inquisitorial]] spree led him to a chance encounter with [[Tibalt]], a demonic little shit who was totally in opposition of any and all rules. But Tibalt had the worst fucking planeswalker card in Magic's history, so Sorin dealt with him as he dealt with any other moron. Sorin discovered his precious real-doll girlfriend was trapped in a giant "totally not another Eye of Ugin" prison called the Helvault with the super powerful demon Griselbrand. But then [[Liliana Vess|Liliana]] released Avacyn and slew Griselbrand (for entirely different and selfish reasons) before Sorin had to actually do anything.

=== Khans/Dragons of Tarkir ===

Sorin goes looking for Ugin so they can fix the hedron network. In the Khans of Tarkir timeline Bolas had killed Ugin thousands of years ago, so Sorin finds his corpse and despairs for the multiverse. But Ugin's just in a coma in the Dragons of Tarkir timeline (the canon timeline) and Sorin wakes him up. Ugin asks Sorin to get Nahiri and meet up on Zendikar, but Sorin is strangely reluctant to fetch this obviously critical ally that crafted the damn thing they're trying to fix. This is because...

=== Shadows Over Innistrad ===
Flashback time! A thousand years ago, the Hedron network weakened just enough for the Eldrazi titans to corrupt some mortals into attacking their prison. Nahiri woke up and easily stopped the immediate threat (being an oldwalker), but to her surprise neither Ugin or Sorin showed up when she sent the alert[http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stirring-slumber-2015-05-13]. Ugin was either suffering a minor to severe case of postmortem decomposition or healing in a coma, depending on the timeline, so solid excuse either way. Whereas Sorin simply didn't get the message because his planar wards around Innistrad inadvertently blocked it. 

Nahiri confronted Sorin about not upholding his small end of the unequal bargain (Nahiri indefinitely watching over and risking her native plane vs Sorin keeping his damn phone on) and demanded his help fixing shit. Instead of fixing shit and/or apologizing and/or explaining his weakened state from recently creating Avacyn, Sorin told her 'Bitch I don't owe you anything' and imprisoned her inside the Helvault indefinitely with a bunch of demons.[https://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stone-and-blood-2016-06-15] Oldwalkers were dicks.

Liliana breaks the Helvault ~1000 years later, and Nahiri is out to make [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=409941 Sorin suffer by making Innistrad bleed]. So Sorin goes to the vampires that hate him so very much to ask for their help against the powerful foe he arrogantly, idiotically, and needlessly snubbed. To secure the aid of the other vampires, however, he must destroy his one true waifu, Avacyn. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing for Innistrad by this point, given that she'd gone batshit crazy and started going on wanton slaughter rampages.[http://magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/promises-old-and-new-2016-04-13]. But Avacyn was irreplaceable - forging her took the full godlike power of pre-mending Sorin and left him weakened - and her death allowed Emrakul to enter the plane.

=== Eldritch Moon ===
While the Gatewatch pranced off to go fight Emrakul, Sorin and an army of Vampires confronted Nahiri at the ruins of the Markov Mansion. Sorin forced Nahiri to planeswalker away, but got shoved into a giant spiky rock that was too painful to planeswalk from. Sensing an easy coup, Olivia left him to die in the rock (and stole his rad sword).

=== War of the Spark ===
Everyone's favorite edge vampire is back, and he is '''pissed'''. Through sheer anger (and the planeswalker beacon providing a focus past his pain or something), he managed to free himself from the rock and is ready to rip Nahiri a new one. So great is their feud that they ignore the whole battle for the multiverse and just try to kill each other, though shit escalates enough towards the end where they reluctantly call timeout and help the Gatewatch.

=== Innistrad: Midnight Hunt ===
In midnight hunt he was in his castle being sad when [[Arlinn|Arlinn]],[[Chandra|Chandra]], [[Teferi|Teferi]], and [[Kaya|Kaya]] show up and ask him for the moonsilver key to unlock the celestus to fix the day and night cycle by having the largest pagan party there which he refused to do because he doesn’t care what happens to [[innistrad|Innistrad]] anymore than Sigarda came in and told them where it was which got him very mad so he decided to attack her.

=== Innistrad: Crimson Vow ===
In crimson vow he discovered that Olivia was going to marry his grandpa to grow her political power and he also decided that he actually does care [[Innistrad|Innistrad]] and decides to stop the wedding with the help of the other 4 [[planeswalker|Planeswalkers]] from midnight hunt but since it was invitation only and since sorin was the only one with a invitation he was the only one able to go in.

[[Image:Sorin Markov card.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin Markov]]
[[Image:Sorin, Lord of Innistrad.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin, Lord of Innistrad]]
[[Image:SorinSolemnVisitor.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Sorin, Solemn Visitor]]