Editing Archaon (section)

==The Legend==
[[Grimdark|Archaon was born to a Nordland townswoman after a raiding party of bloodthirsty Norscan Chaos Marauders visited the town and the leader of said party proceeded to rape her viciously before leaving her for dead amidst the burning husk of her village.]] His father is [[Be'lakor]], who had taken the shape of a mortal at the time because being an ambitious [[Daemon Prince]] of [[Chaos Undivided]] is clearly not enough villain cred and he felt like he had to see if his cock was still working or something. Of course, the village woman [[Indrick Boreale|did not die then, no,]] but was found clinging to life by her husband and children. After trying unsuccessfully to [[Grimdark|abort the pregnancy the "Marauder champion" had forced on her]], she died nine months later giving birth to the raider's bastard son. Rejected by the surviving family members, the midwife left the baby near the door of a Sigmarite church, where he was saved from a pack of hungry wolves by a Sigmarite priest who adopted in as a son and page for the local church, naming him Diederick.

Diederick grew up into a vigorous and devout lad, strong in the ways of Sigmar, and became a squire for the lecherous lout of a knight Sieur Kastnar. When the Sieur Kastnar ran afoul of some foes and died, Diederick, being a man of honor, took it upon himself to deliver the knight's ancestral sword to House Kastnar. The lady of the House, having been disregarded and despised by her husband, was touched by the young squire's dedication and integrity, and adopted him to her house, bequeathing the sword of Kastnar to him, along with the dead knight's horse Orberon. With her sponsorship, Diederick then entered into the prestigious Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb, becoming the greatest warrior of the Order on account of his (unbeknownst) Northern bloodlust and a paragon of the Order's knightly ideals. [[Grimdark|Which essentially means he was a Black Templar level fanatic who didn't think twice of killing children if they were born with the taint of Chaos]].

Later on his career, while questing about and slaying whole tribes of Beastmen single-handed, Diederick came across a group of the Sisters of Sigmar who were transporting a heretical tome. This tome would turn out to be Liber Celestior itself, penned by Necrodormo the Insane under the direction of Be'Lakor himself, and said to hold the prophecy of the Everchosen of Chaos, the final champion who would herald the End Times. The tome was to be transported to the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar in Altdorf, where it would be kept protected from a warband of Chaos Warriors intent on using it to find the Everchosen. This warband being the Swords of Chaos.

Of course, young Diederick had not even seen the prophecy for himself. And indeed, for so many years, had been much too fanatical and thick in the head to realize that he fit the perfect profile of a Norscan warrior, not an Imperial knight. This also did not come fully to him when his own Order of the Twin-Tailed Orb began hunting him, despite him having been the greatest exemplar of their Order's religious and military ideals. Diederick, being a <s>complete badass</s> fucking Mary Sue, made quick work of the knights and also managed to evade the Swords of Chaos, seeking refuge at the Kastnar estate only to find it having been burned to the ground. There, he conferred with the young Sister of Sigmar Giselle and the priest who had fostered him as to the reasons why the Empire had declared him a heretic and why the Swords of Chaos wanted to suck his cock. They came to the conclusion that he fit the bill as the Everchosen based on the fact that:

* A). He was obviously of Norscan descent (fucking racists...)
* B). He was a knight of the Empire, like the Everchosen was foretold to be.

That's essentially it, really. It's a pretty fucking vague prophecy. But in fantasy worlds, this is often convincing enough, and so Diederick, on the advice of his foster father, journeyed to Altdorf to gain some confirmation of his dark destiny at the Grand Cathedral of Sigmar. Of course, this was after he succeeded in hanging himself because he couldn't live with the truth. Ballsy of him, but the Chaos Gods went 'lolno' and brought him back to life to get on without; they really wanted the End Times to happen, the little shits.

So, after he dragged his depressed ass to Altdorf he prayed before an altar to Sigmar to give him some sign or indication that he was not forsaken by the God-King and not damned to a fate he did not choose and did not want, and received stone silence in return... other than the obvious favor he's enjoyed from the epic ass-kickings he's been delivering as a Knight. And considering the powers of Warrior-Priests, Diederick probably already had shit tons of confirmation that he was, if anything, favored by Sigmar. This doesn't explain why ANY other Human, Elf or Dwarf God didn't appear to prevent End Times, or why Sigmar did fuck-all at the time since even a single act would've stopped the entirety of the End Times. [[Mary Sue|Diederick went batshit insane and managed to take down the entire knightly garrison of the Sigmarite Cathedral]] and even managed to cripple and capture the Grand Theogonist. Interrogating the Grand Theogonist by breaking his fingers individually, Diederick demanded to know how exactly the Knights of the Twin-Tailed Orb were so sure that he was the Everchosen; after all, there were countless half-Norscans running about in the Empire, and there were countless knights of the Empire who had fallen to Chaos. The Theogonist revealed that they weren't sure at all; they had been hunting and killing everyone with his profile throughout the Empire just to make sure. The clincher was that the true Everchosen was prophesied to travel to Altdorf and ask that exact question.

So yes, if Diederick had ''not'' gone to Altdorf to find this out, he would not have fulfilled the prophecy. [[Just as Planned]]. This also means that if the Theogonist did nothing then the End Times also never would've happened, [[derp|and despite knowing this they chose to act.]]

Having finally been driven to Joker levels of genocidal insanity by this tidbit of information (and bad writing), Diederick's switch flipped from good to evil and he loudly denounced the God-King Sigmar and affirmed his allegiance to the Dark Gods of his father's race, swearing that he would bring the Empire crashing down and tear away the pageantry of Sigmar's religion to reveal the god for the craven liar and charlatan that he was. It was during this shouted oath of death and destruction that the Grand Theogonist gloatingly revealed that the entire Reikland army and pretty much the entirety of the Empire's [[Gunpowder (Warhammer Fantasy)|gunpowder]] potential was primed on the Cathedral with the order to kill the Everchosen by any means necessary, including by destroying the Cathedral itself. Luckily for Diederick, the Swords of Chaos arrived and rescued him from the clutches of the Empire, fleeing northwards towards Norsca where the Everchosen could begin his journey. This is, of course, if you follow the later books. Originally he read the prophecy, lost his marbles, and ran off screaming in the night before deciding he'd go up north and join his new dark god daddies.

For such a popular badass among fans, you'd think his origin story wouldn't be so pathetic and stupid.

===Quest for the Six Treasures===
Alright guys, y'all know the story that came after this.

Taking on the name Archaon, the Everchosen traveled North; crossing into Norsca and the Chaos Wastes as he began his prophesied centuries-long journey seeking the Relics of Chaos - The Burning Mark of Chaos Eternal, which bestowed upon its bearer the ultimate favor all four of the Great Chaos Gods. The Armour of Morkar (shield included), the battle-scarred Chaos Plate born by the Norsii warlord and first and greatest of the Everchosen. The Slayer of Kings, the horrifyingly powerful regicidal greatsword forged by Vangel, the Second Everchosen; bound with the soul of U'zhul, the Fist of [[Khorne]]. The Crown of Domination, the ancient battle-helm borne by the first Northern warrior to bargain his soul to Chaos's Dark Lords. The Eye of Sheerian, which bestows upon its user prophetic powers (had it been the Mouth of Sheerian, it probably would have granted him a decent singing voice). And Dorghar, Steed of the Apocalypse.

Archaon got the first one by traveling to the Altar of Ultimate Darkness in Naggaroth where he single-handedly brought upon the genocide of the race of bloodthirsty, atavistic monster-men who infested the temple and who feasted upon the flesh of stray Dark Elves. In the novel and newer version, he also fought a Dark Elf army led by a dragon-riding Sorceress and was saved by Valkia when she arrived after he sacrificed a Dark Elf assassin to the Chaos Gods (strangely Valkia arrived when Archaon offered the assassin's heart even though Khorne's thing is skulls).

He earned the Armour of Morkar by travelling to the Norse King's cairn in the Southern Chaos Wastes and facing off against his vengeful spirit and was nearly slaughtered by his predecessor then and there but for spitting out a 'yo mama' insult in the dead tongue of the Unberogens which managed to catch Morkar just off-guard enough due to its WTFness for Archaon to sucker-punch him and steal the armour. Actually, it turns out that Archaon said 'brinnan utva lioht', which means 'burn in the light', which if I'm being honest, sounds about as insulting as calling someone a scoundrel. To be fair, it only worked because it was Sigmar's language and the last thing Sigmar said to Morkar before concaving his head.

He claimed the Eye of Sheerian from Flamefang, the Claw of Tzeentch, a three-headed Chaos Dragon (a one-headed chaos dragon spirit that possessed and assimilated bodies to gain physical form in the novel). Archaon found it sleeping in its lair and woke it up by hitting one of its heads with his axe. There was an intense fight, which ended when Flamefang swallowed Archaon whole and flew all the way to the Southern Wastes. The armor prevented Archaon from being digested and he cut his way out of the dragon's throat from the inside, which naturally killed it. Archaon plucked the Eye of Sheerian from the belly of its corpse and hung it around his neck.

The next wasn't an item, but a being, the daemonic creature called Dorghar - also known as Ghurshy'ish'phak, Wsyorach and Yrontalie - the Steed of the Apocalypse. At the time Dorghar was being kept in the menagerie of a Slaaneshi Daemon Prince. He entered the stables by clinging to the underbelly of one of the monsters as it returned to its roost, a part man, part mammoth and part insect abomination. Once there, he broke in and tracked Dorghar by Dorghar's smell (originally) or using the Eye of Sheerian (post-retcon and in the novel) until he found the creature. He then jumped on Dorghar's back like a hellish rodeo - one where the mount burst into flame and changed shape while also fighting to dislodge and kill Archaon. Eventually he broke Dorghar's will and killed the daemon prince before riding back out of the Realm of Chaos.

He got the Slayer of Kings from a sleeping Krakanrok the Black, father of the Dragon Ogre race and a being the size of a mountain. The superstrong even for a follower of chaos Khornate Beastlord Ograx was ''just'' able to lift one of Krakanrok's fingers high enough for Archaon to grab the sword. It started screaming so loud that the mountain-sized Krakanrok began to stir and Archaon silenced the blade's screaming by impaling the Beastlord through the heart with it, thereby sating its regicidal thirst as Ograx was a Prince of the Southern Pole Beastmen, who are Beastmen directly fused with Daemons without humans drawing the attention away in the North (and also one of Be'lakor's many bastard children).

The search for the Crown took longer than all the others combined, near a century in fact. But, as we know, he gained the Crown of Domination by travelling to the First Shrine of Chaos in the Northern World's Edge Mountains after Be'lakor was made by the Chaos Gods to appear and show him the way (and some directions from Vilitch in the retcon). Archaon entered and overcame tests set by all 4 of the Chaos Gods, including navigating through a maze made by Tzeentch (by blindfolding himself and going by instinct alone), fighting off every disease possible from Nurgle through [[awesome|sheer]] [[Humanity Fuck Yeah|willpower]] (being reduced to pulling himself across the floor with his fingers as his body melts away, to be restored to normal as if nothing happened in the next room), resisting temptations from Slaanesh in person as he/she/it manifested for a friendly chat, and finally Khorne sending Skarbrand to test his mettle. Skarbrand whom he then strangled to death with his own whip (actually required a fair bit more cunning, planning and daemonic intervention than the armybook versions of the stories would have you believe).