Editing Muscle Wizard

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[[Image:Muscle_wizard.jpg|right|300px|mother of god]]
''Wizards use Intellect. Sorcerers use Charisma. Clerics use Wisdom.''
''What about spellcasting based around other stats, like constitution or dexterity? How might they work?''

What a horrible idea. [[/tg/ gets shit done|Let's ''do'' it]].

== Psion ==
With 3rd Edition Psions, you could choose a stat to be your primary attribute.  So, pick constitution, and be a metabolism psion.  Pick Strength, and be FLEX MENTALLO, MAN OF MUSCLE MYSTERY

== Wizard/Monk ==
D&D 3.5 core, with a few feats from Complete Warrior.

Level 20 (Wizard 5/ Monk 15), Goliath race.

Feats: Improved Natural Attack, ImpTWF, Double Hit, Deft Opportunist, Extend Spell, Combat Reflexes, etc.

Items: ask your DM if you can count Spiked Gauntlets as an Unarmed Attack (like brass knuckles) for Monk abilities

Damage: 5d6 +STR +whatever enhancement the gauntlets have. Increases to 6d6 +1d8 +STR +gauntlets with Enlarge Person.  5 attacks per round, or 7 with Flurry of Blows.  Then add a Haste spell... jesus.

== Cancer Mage ==
Like many bad ideas, we'll start with the Book of Vile Darkness.

There's a Prestige Class called '''Cancer Mage'''. The first level ability allows you to ignore any negative effects of a disease. In the same book there's a disease called '''Festering Anger''', which makes your dick fall off and gives you 'roid rage, but grants a +2 to Strength, with an additional +2 per day.

Druid gets to cast Animal Companion as many times as they want before the game; let the Cancer Mage contract this disease years before the game.

==How Do I Do This Without Breaking the Game, Though?==
Glad you asked. There's ways. 

In 3.0/3.5, focus on a conventional Wizard or Sorcerer, grab a bunch of self-buffs, Tenser's Transformation, and let the hunt begin. Your only ranged offense should be ''Bigby's Hand'' Spells. Because fists.
: What buff spells are in the arcane lists, though?  All I see are Heroism (Wiz 3), Transformation (Wiz 6), Iron Body (Wiz 8) and Shapechange (Wiz 9).  Transformation kills your spellcasting, and Iron Body hits you with 50% spell failure, so it's unlikely you can have both of those.  The spells in 3.x dropped the names of Gygax's friends, so the Bigby's Hand spells are just named Interposing Hand (Wiz 5), Forceful Hand (Wiz 6), Grasping Hand (Wiz 7), Clenched Fist (Wiz 8), and Crushing Hand (Wiz 9).
::In no order: Blur, True Strike, Displacement, Greater Invisibility, Haste, Stoneskin, True Seeing, Fly, Enlarge Person, Bull's Strength, et al. Buffing before a fight is a time-honored wizard practice. You have lots of them, as well as all the best crafting feats so it's not like giving yourself a hilariously overpowered magic dagger or providing yourself with the doses of Kharn Mode Potion will prove difficult. Just be ready with something to ward off the inevitable dispel magic attempt.

== Pathfinder==
Pathfinder racial archetype "Scarred Witch Doctor" makes for the true muscle wizard- or better, muscle witch, since it is an archetype for that class, and available only to orcs. Basically it solves the problem of orcs having -2 to all of the mental stats by replacing Int with Con for everything that it is casting-related. That's right, you cast with the same stat that gives you hp and fortitude save, and you still have also a racial +4 to strenght, so go CAST FIST. It is unclear if this archetype is available to half orcs, since they get everything normal humans get in therms of classes, so logic dictates they should also have their other half's race toys. But now you have a perfectly legit Muscle Wizard, and a freakin'orc with a voodoo feeling at that. Nuff said.

Or, of course, you can just take the Alchemist class and have all your build based around strength-enhancing mutagens. However, while being technically a spellcaster who solves problems with your mighty fists, you won't get to cast them since alchemists don't cast at all. Rather, they drink distilled magic in the form of extracts, which otherwise work as wizard's spells, getting even vancian spellcasting- well, vancian brewing, and are mostly augment spells. So no "cast fist," but still Enlarge Person and then [[Fist of the North Star|they are already dead]].

== Swordmage ==
4e's [[Forgotten Realms]] introduced this fighting wizard who uses Strength, but for true Muscle Wizardry, give him (or her) a set of Spiked Gauntlets, which are classed as Light Blade (and thusly work for swordmage spells, just like khopeshes, scythes, bladed shields and a bunch of other funky stuff) even though they obviously revolve around punching people in the face. Now you too can punch an [[orc]] in the face and then detonate the fireball that your punch created inside his head!

== How To Use Your Muscle ==
* The player race Illumian uses their strength bonus for additional spells per day, just as other races use intelligence or wisdom.  You can FLEX your way to additional level nine spells.
* Take the "Improved Grappling" feat, for hundreds of lethal and nonlethal damage per round without provoking attacks of opportunity. For bonus grappling, take an Octopus familiar. Either that or any of the other familiars that give +2 to your grapple rolls, just for that extra little fuck you to your opponents.
* There's a feat that lets you intimidate creatures with low-to-no intelligence, and a feat that lets you add your Str bonus to Intimidate. So one might easily wrestle a [[Tarrasque]] non-lethally to 0HP, and then punch it until it gives you a piggyback ride.
* There's also a feat (Lost Tradition) in the Green Ronin supplement ''Bastards and Bloodlines'' that lets you switch your primary spellcasting stat. Switch it to Str and you're ready to go.

==Muscle Wizardry in [[Last Stand]]==
An entire segment could be written about how to run a Muscle Wizard in [[Dawn of War 2]]'s ''Last Stand'' mode. Almost all of them, fittingly, are for the Chaos Sorcerer, who's quite manly for being a spellcasting wizard-guy. You are urged to [[Last Stand - Chaos Sorcerer|check his page out]] for some ideas on how to do this.

== Links ==
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16028538 the /tg/ thread where we get serious]
* [http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16113211 the Muscle Wizard prestige class]
* what do you do when you have frightening grapple damage?  [[Los Tiburon|Become a luchador!]]

[[Category:Meme]]
[[Category:Dungeons & Dragons]]