Editing Hercules

Heracles, better known under the Roman name 'Hercules', was a Hero of Greek myth, being the son of [[Zeus]] and Alcmene- the latter of whom was the Granddaughter of Perseus. Which means, yes, that [[derp|his great grandfather was also his half-brother.]] 

After his death, there was a large amount of debate as to weather or not he was a [[god]]. The Athenians were quick to worship him a such, but many of the other Greek cities refused to do so. Large quantities of ancient art and poetry depicted Heracles entering Olympus after his death, but the common man saw him more as a hero than a god. We'll leave it to the [[GM]]'s discretion to decided whether he is a god or not, seeing as actual historians can't even agree on the matter. 

Heracles' character is defined by his extraordinary [[Angron|strength]], [[Sanguinius|courage]], [[Guilliman|ingenuity]], and [[Fulgrim|sex drive]]. His life, from the moment of his birth, is mired with attempts on his life by the ever-angry [[Hera]], who hated him for being the bastard child of her husband. In fact, Heracles was originally named Alcides, but was renamed to 'Heracles' (literally meaning 'pride of Hera') in an attempt to stop Hera from trying to murder him all the time. [[Not as Planned|It didn't work very well.]] In his childhood, he beat his music teacher to death with a lyre, then moved off into the mountains to tend to animals. Here, he was approached by the allegories Vice and Virtue, who offered him and easy and unimpressive life or a hard and glorious one, of which he of course chose the latter. In his adult life, Hera, continuing her streak of perpetual bitch-ness, drove Heracles to kill his own children though insanity. 

Heracles has a long and impressive list of deeds, no doubt extrapolated on and added to by every culture that told stories of him. These include, but are not limited to:

1: '''Slaying the Nemean lion:''' A lion who was impervious to blades weapons. He strangled it to death, then wore its pelt. We don't know how the hell he skinned something immune to bladed weapons, but there you go. 

2: '''Slaying the Lernaean Hydra:''' A big fuckoff lizard sent by Hera to kill him. When he killed it, he used its blood as a poison for his arrows. 

3: '''Capturing the Golden Hind of Artemis:''' Catching one of [[Artemis]]' animals. Turned out to be really fucking hard, as he chased it for a full year. 

4: '''Capturing the Erymanthian Boar:''' Pretty much the same shit as the last one. Skip. 

5: '''Cleaning a lot of literal shit:''' He was tasked with cleaning a cattle barn containing 3000 cattle, all of whom were spewing diseased shit, and all in one day. He accomplished this by changing the flow of a river into the barn. One assumes that the cost of living downstream went down for quite a while afterwards. 

6: '''Slaying the Stymphalian birds:''' He slew a bunch of giant man-eating birds by distracting them with a god-rattle them sniping them with his bow. 

7: '''Capture the Cretan bull:''' He captured the Cretan bull (father of the famous minotaur) and released it near Marathon, where it continued to be an asshole until Theseus killed it. 

8: '''Stealing the Mares of Diomedes:''' No, not that [[Diomedes]]. He was tasked with capturing a bunch of mean eating horses, which he accomplished by feeding king Diomedes to them before binding their mouths shut while they were distracted. 

9: '''Obtaining the Girdle of Hippolyta:''' This one should have been easy, except for Hera's interference. She told Hippolyta and the Amazons to stop him at all costs, which they didn't. 

10: '''Steal Gery's cattle:''' Tasked with stealing the Giant Geryon's cattle, he beat Geryon's dog to death with a stick then shot Geryon himself with the poisoned arrow from the Hydra. Hercules might be an asshole. 

11: '''Steal the golden apples of Hesperides:''' These apples were under the protection of Hera, so it went about as well as you can imagine. During the trip, he saved Prometheus from the bird that had been eating his liver for the last few thousand years, then tricked Atlas into helping him get the apples. 

12: '''Capture Cerberus:''' His most challenging task by far, he was sent to the gates of the underworld to capture Cerberus, the three-headed guard dog. [[Hades]] agreed to let him try, so long as he did so without the aid of any weapons. He succeeded, and proceeded to scare the shit out of Eurystheus with the thing.

{{D&D-Historical-Deities}}

[[File:Heracles.png|thumb|right|Shown here with the battered remains of the previously mentioned lizard.]]