Editing Dungeon Crawl

''This article is about the [[Roguelike]] Dungeon Crawl. If you're looking for the genre gb2/v/.''

Dungeon Crawl is basically what would happen if [[Dwarf Fortress]] and Diablo's hardcore mode had an illegitimate lovechild, who then grew up angry and exploded you with a wand of disintegration. It takes all the cruelest and most unbalanced aspects of its spiritual predecessors and turns them into a game so spiteful and arbitrary that it makes a [[Dark Heresy]] campaign look like a [[sunday]] morning church picnic.

Thus a fat/g/uy love affair was born.

You see like a battered wife rushing to defend their boyfriend in front of police Crawl's players have developed a disturbing and wholly pathological love for their punishment. The game kills you so brutally and inventively that dying becomes part of the fun. It helps that while all of the deaths are cruel and unusual, most are avoidable. Attacked a monster you didn't recognize without an escape plan? Reroll. Retreated into unexplored areas? Reroll. Wielded a weapon of distortion? Reroll. Worshipped [http://crawl.chaosforge.org/index.php?title=Xom Xom]? [[meme|You poor bastard]]. Every body on this mountain of corpses represents one more stupid mistake you (hopefully) won't be making next time, and one small step towards that [[Loot|goddamn orb]].

==Sigmund==
[[Image:Sigmund.png|right|JESUS FUCK GET TO THE STAIRS.]]
Sigmund is the physical embodiment of just how little of a shit Dungeon Crawl gives about you. He wields a giant blinging Scythe (usually enchanted) and casts mid level spells. None of these things are so awful except the game feels the need to spawn him on dungeon 2-5 (or D1 if it loves you), right around the time you're feeling confident about your ability to kill snakes. He casts fireball and magic dart so he can't be kited, he has invisibility so he can't be melee'd, and confusion ensures you can't even escape from the fight. Just seeing him is enough to send most crawlers into a mad dash for the nearest staircase.


==The Endless List of Hilarious(ly Awful) Crawl Deaths==
[[Image:Crawl-flowchart.jpg|thumb|right|Not Pictured: The hundreds of characters you're going to roll before this works.]]
* Mork the Hill Orc Priest lost favor of Beogh while walking on water, drowned. --[[User:Petro|Petro]] 17:32, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
* Sivi the Halfling Assassin developed the uncontrollable screaming mutation, mauled by a bear. --[[User:Petro|Petro]] 17:32, 5 November 2011 (UTC)
* Buttons the Felid Summoner murdered by the reanimated corpse of its extra life. --[[User:Petro|Petro]] 17:32, 5 November 2011 (UTC)